Apex Predator
by Jeffrey Dahmer
Summary: Violet Hopkins is dangerous. There's no other word for it. What else are you supposed to call someone who can change into a wolf and mercilessly rip a person to shreds? She doesn't mean to but whenever she transforms, Violet always ends up killing. Going into Xaviers School for the Gifted, she expected things to be different... She was wrong.
1. Violet

_The lights we chase,  
the nights we steal  
The things that we take  
to make us feel._

-Brother, Gerard Way

My powers manifested at the zoo.

I was with my mother and twin brother, Hugh, and we were happily skipping along, pointing out all the animals and squealing with delight. I was only six years old and Hugh was three minutes older. "Let's go see the wolves, Mama," Hugh yelped and pointed to a small forested area, surrounded by a fence.

"Okay honey, but don't throw things this time. You nearly got us kicked out last time," Mama said easily and we both sheepishly ducked our heads. It turned out that throwing popcorn at the gorillas wasn't allowed.

"Yes, Mama," we said in unison and she chuckled. She smoothed back my brown hair and tweaked the polka-dot bow that held it up in a loose ponytail.

We walked up to the enclosure and I climbed up the chain-link fence so I could get a better view. Hugh climbed up too but he didn't climb as high as me.

It took me a second to spot the wolves but when I did, I was in awe. One by one, they started appearing out of the forest. There were six of them, in total, and all six were gorgeous with silky fur and muscles that rippled under their skin with every step they took.

"What are their names?" Hugh asked. He had asked that at every enclosure and Mama had always pulled out that nifty brochure of hers and answered him.

Mama opened her book to the 'wolf' page. There were six pictures of the pack on the page that didn't do the wolves any justice. Each wolf had their own little blurb that explained their history and rank in the pack. "The white one is the Alpha and her name is Luna." I didn't know what an 'Alpha' was but I thought it was cool.

Out of the six wolves, four of them were gray, one was white and another was black. Most people would immediately look to the white wolf with the shimmering fur and bright blue eyes but I couldn't take my eyes off the black one. He was one of the biggest, with sleek bluish-black fur and vibrant golden eyes.

His eyes met mine and it was like my whole world stopped. ' _Those eyes…'_

His lips curled up in a snarl, revealing a row of brilliantly white teeth and healthy gums as pink as a fresh plum. "What's the black ones name, Mama?" I asked.

"Apex," Mama read. She glanced up to see that I was leaning a little too far over the fence, "Violet, don't lean so much, you'll fall over."

But I couldn't take my sight off of Apex. I could see every little detail in his eyes as he stalked closer to me. There was even a sliver of green in his left eye that made his eyes all the more brilliant. He was slowly getting closer, and if only I had arms as long as Mama's then I would have been able to touch him.

So I reached anyway.

Mama let out a bloodcurdling shriek as I toppled into the enclosure, landing on my knees and yelping in pain. The wolf jumped back a little but not a second later, lunged at me.

But a bite never came. Apex stopped dead in front of me, staring at me in confusion and fear. I glanced down to see long black claws coming from my fingers and instead of brown hair surrounding my face, it was silky black.

It was like all my senses went into overdrive. I could smell everything; Mama's perfume, the scent of melted butter in Hugh's bag of popcorn, and even the musky, forest smell of the other wolves. Not only that, but I could smell the fear coming from Apex and Mama.

But the biggest change was the feeling of _power_. It raced through my blood and made me feel magnificent. It was like the same gold used to make Apex's eyes was now racing through my blood, making everything from my toes to the tips of my fingers tingle.

"Oh my God," Mama whispered. "No, no, no. Not her."

I turned back to the wolf to see he was starting to back away from me. He took a few fearful steps back before turning and bolting towards Luna and the rest of his pack.

I felt someone's hand clasp around my arm and lift me up and out of the enclosure. It was my mother. The second she touched me, my claws shrunk, my hair faded to brown, and my sharp senses dulled.

My mom whirled me around and grabbed both of my arms and forcing me to look into her green eyes. "Listen to me, Violet. You can never _ever_ tell anyone of this. If anyone asks, you fell into the enclosure and I pulled you out before the wolf could attack you. Do you understand me?"

"But Mama-"

"No Violet! If anyone finds out about this, they will never accept you. You will be an outcast wherever you go and people will treat you like you are nothing. That is why you can never tell a soul about this. Now, do you understand me?"

I slowly nodded and Mama turned to Hugh. Without even having to say anything, he furiously nodded. "Now come on, my darlings, we need to leave."

"But-"

"We're leaving, Violet!" Mama snapped and I stepped back. "And we are _never_ coming to this place again."

[X]

Soon after the trip to the zoo, people showed up at my door. The one who talked the most was a bald man in a wheelchair and the other was a pretty black woman with hair as white as snow. Mama shooed me and Hugh to our room and talked to them in the living room.

Little did she know that I was just around the corner, listening to every word they said. Hugh was right beside me, peaking out every so often to see what was happening.

"I'm not giving you my daughter," Mama hissed and Hugh's head snapped back, staring at me with wide eyes.

"They're talking about you!" he whispered excitedly.

"Miss. Hopkins, Violet is a danger to herself and those around her. Her powers are manifesting at a dangerous rate and without help, she won't be able to control it," the woman said calmly.

"I can help her! She won't hurt anyone; Violet would never do that," Mama huffed defiantly. "My little girl is not a monster."

"No, but she is a mu-"

Mama cut the man off. "Don't you dare say that word, Professor. She will never be that!"

There was silence for a moment and then Mama gasped. "How did you – oh."

I shot a confused glance at Hugh but he just shrugged in response.

"Miss. Hopkins, I know this is difficult for you but we're here to protect you and your family. We can train Violet and help her reach her full potential but we can't do that if she doesn't come back to New York."

' _New York?'_ That was far away. Mama said it wasn't anywhere near Calgary and I didn't want to leave Hugh or Mama to go to a place like New York.

"I'm sorry, but my final answer is no. Violet never asked for this and I'm not sending my six year-old to live with a group of strangers in another country. She doesn't deserve that," Mama replied.

"She deserves to control her gift," Professor answered calmly.

' _I get a gift?'_ I thought excitedly. I jumped out of my hiding place and raced into the living room. Mama and the pretty lady looked surprised to see me but Professor merely smiled when I raced in. "I get a gift?"

"You already have a gift, my dear," Professor said and I made a face. _'Not since Christmas!'_

As if he had read my thoughts, the man chuckled and shook his head. "This gift makes you far more unique than anything you'd ever get at Christmas."

"Professor, I want you to leave," Mama said calmly but I could hear the anger growing in her voice. She stood up and pointing to the door. "Now."

"But what about my-"

"You're not getting a gift, Violet!" Mama snapped and I took a step back, my eyes filling with tears. Her face softened and the next time she spoke, her voice was calmer. "Violet, you misunderstood what we were talking about. Please go to your room and let the grown-ups talk."

I silently nodded and trudged to my room. Hugh was still in the same place around the corner where I left him but I didn't want to listen in anymore. I wasn't getting anything out of it and I didn't want to make Mama anymore angry than she already was. A few minutes later, Hugh walked into our room and sat on his bed.

"They were talking about you. They said that you were special and needed to learn how to control yourself or something like that. Then Mama got angry and kicked them out," Hugh explained. I didn't say anything. "Vi?"

"Just leave me alone!" I yelled and pulled the covers over my head. Mama's angry voice was still fresh in my mind and the way they were talking about me made me feel like I was in trouble. Like I had done something wrong and needed a punishment.

Whatever I had done to be different, I wanted it erased.

[X]

The second incident came two years later when I was eight. I had started school and like every elementary school, we had mandatory gym classes. We usually just played games instead of doing any actual work but I always loved the class. I loved running across the gym and the feeling of success whenever I scored a goal in the enemy's net.

But one day, I didn't like it so much. Mama yelled at me that morning and Hugh and his friends were being rude. One of his friends, Clyde, was being especially cruel and kept on throwing the dodgeball at me. I always managed to jump out of the way before they hit me though.

Until he grabbed the basketballs, that is. The normal dodgeballs were just soft, colorful balls that wouldn't even leave a red mark if they hit you. Basketballs were a different story. And having them thrown at you was unforgiveable.

I felt a furious anger burn in my stomach when the ball slammed into my face. Our teacher, Mrs. Settler, wasn't even looking at us and was instead flirting with the cute janitor.

Blood dripped from my nose and onto my hand, making a tiny pool of crimson. I stared at the blood for a second and then I looked up at my attacker. Clyde was laughing with his group of friends but Hugh was the only one who remained silent.

' _That little rat intended to hurt me!'_ I thought angrily as my hands curled into little fists. My lips peeled up into a snarl and a familiar feeling filled my chest. My messy brown hair didn't turn black this time but I could feel my eyes burning and the smell of sweat and joy filled my nose.

And finally, the power returned.

Not even bothering to stand up, I launched myself at Clyde, knocking him over and making us both roll a few times. I pinned him under my body and stared down at his terrified brown eyes as tears sprouted from them. He let out a terrified scream and I grabbed his chubby hand and lifted it to my mouth.

I clamped my teeth down on his hand and blood filled my mouth. Clyde's scream grew louder until I was finally ripped away by Mrs. Settler who had a horrified look in her eyes. "Violet, what did you do?"

The power vanished and was replaced by guilt. "He threw a basketball at my face," I whimpered.

"That is no excuse!" Mrs. Settler screamed and pulled me to my feet. "Look at what you did!"

I looked over to see Clyde was screaming in fear and agony. His hand was covered in blood and I could see teeth marks in his skin. The janitor, Jacob, was wrapping Clyde's hand in a cloth and rushing him out of the gym.

"I'm calling your mother," Mrs. Settler snapped and started dragging me towards the door and then to the office. "What possessed you to do that?"

"It was just instincts," I cried. That word just sounded right and rolled off my tongue like water out of a glass.

"You're not a dog, Violet! Your instincts aren't to bite other children," Mrs. Settler snapped. She pulled me into the principal's office and sat me down on one of the plastic chairs. "Violet, explain what happened."

So I did. I left out the part about my senses going into overdrive and the joy I felt when I tasted blood for the first time but I told him the simplified version. When I was done, Mr. Holmes looked angry and unforgiving.

"I already called your mother and you will spend the rest of the week at home so you can learn to control your anger," Mr. Holmes said and I felt my gut drop. If my mother already knew then I was dead for sure. As if on cue, the door opened and Mama entered.

Her green eyes held fear in them and her brown hair was messy. She still managed to look calm and keep her voice steady when she spoke to Mr. Holmes and Mrs. Settler. When I was finally allowed to leave, Mama's eyes hardened as she glared at me. "Don't worry, this will never happen again."

By then, I was about as scared of Mama as Clyde was of me. She dragged me out of the room and into her car and once we were safely in the confinements of the SUV, did she turn around and saw that there wasn't a trace of anger on her face.

"Oh honey," she breathed. She looked like she wanted to say something more but her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry, Mama," I whispered as I watched the tears fall from her green eyes. "I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't darling but next time... just breathe. Remember what I said at the zoo. Nobody can know about this. If you ever feel it start to happen again, just count to ten and take deep breaths," Mama said, wiping her eyes. "You're my baby and I would never let anything happen to you. Never."

Never.

If she made a promise to _never_ let anything harm me then I had to at least _try_ to not let this beast come out again in public. I had to control it.

[X]

In the years that followed, I found myself trying to bring the beast out more and more. I figured that if I learned how to bring it out, then I could learn how to stop it. So I spent hours in front of the mirror, doing everything I could to try and make that beast come.

I had practiced before the whole 'Clyde Incident' but back then, I was doing it for power but now I was doing it for safety. I didn't want to cause anyone else anymore pain. Especially not my Mom.

But it never worked. I might get a flash of gold in my green eyes or the roots of my hair would darken but never anything like I felt during the incidents. The power wasn't there and that's what I thrived for… and feared.

But once, when I was twelve and boys had started to become more irritating than usual, I came home in a huff and stormed to the washroom. Not to practice my power but to just release my anger on something – anything. My shared room with Hugh wasn't private enough and he and his stupid friends were the reason for my anger.

I slammed the door shut and started pacing back and forth. One of his friends, Gunner, had pulled my skirt down in the middle of class, making everyone laugh at me and humiliating me in front of my friends. The worst part was that Gunner was my long-time crush and having him to be the one to humiliate me only added to my shame.

That alone wouldn't have made me so angry but for the rest of the day, people teased me about it and started calling me names. I could have handled that and counting to ten did help enough for me to control it for the rest of the day. The part that made my blood boil was when I was riding home in an empty seat because Hugh was too embarrassed to sit with me. I wouldn't have minded but then I felt someone pelt something in the back of my head.

I tried pulling it off but it only stuck to my hair; it was a piece of chewed bubble gum. The kids erupted in fits of giggles and Hugh sat proud for his spitting skills. "Hugh!" I yelled, standing up. He knew what I could do and his green eyes widened but that didn't stop him from opening his big mouth.

"Sit back down…freak." That one stung. It was what Mom had worked for all these years to stop and my own brother was the one to use it against me. The laughter only grew until it was all I could hear.

And then the chanting began. Clyde called me it next and then Gunner. Then the girl who sits across from me in Math and then Hugh repeated it. They started yelling it, " _Freak! Freak! Freak!_ "

' _One… Two… Three…'_ I took in deep breaths and exhaled, squeezing my eyes shut. ' _Four… Five…'_

"Violet!" I was snapped out of my trance as the chanting stopped. One of the big kids, a pretty blonde girl called Erica, had walked up to where the seventh graders were sitting and held out her hand. "Hey, come sit with us."

Normally I would be honoured to sit with a ninth grader but that day, all I felt was anger. Erica got off the bus with her brother, Gunner, and I was sitting alone at the back of the bus. Glaring at the back of Hugh's head only filled me with anger and by the time we had reached my bus stop, I had counted to three hundred.

I didn't say anything to Hugh as I stormed into our small house, ignored Mom's questions and stomped into the washroom where I started to pace. After a minute or two of walking back and forth, I couldn't take it anymore and I turned to the mirror, letting my fist fly into it and shattering it.

"Violet, what was that?" Mom called, banging on the door. I snarled and stared into the broken shards of the mirror, baring my teeth at my reflection.

Starting from my roots, my brown hair faded to black and my green eyes turned yellow. My teeth grew and sharpened into fangs and my nails into claws. The familiar powerful feeling filled my body but this time it wasn't good – this time it felt like venom. I was a _monster_.

With inhuman strength, I grabbed the mirror cabinet and flung it across the room, into the wall where it shattered and fell into the bathtub. Bottles of pills scattered out and the already shattered mirror lay in pieces in the porcelain tub.

"Violet, open this door right now!" Mom ordered. My hands curled around the doorknob and I yanked it open, snapping the lock in half. Mom stumbled back when she got a good look at me and Hugh stood behind her, falling to the ground as he gaped at me in horror. "Oh Violet…"

"This is all your fault!" I snarled at Hugh and lunged at him. His fear was coming off him in waves and I could hear his heart pounding in his chest. I pinned him to the ground but not a second later, Mom ripped me off my brother.

"Control it, Violet! Don't let it control you! Remember what I said," she said, looking dead into my yellow eyes. "Breathe."

I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my jaw. Breathing in and out through my nose, I started to count, ' _One... Two… Three…'_

The venom slowly started to ebb away and my golden eyes stopped burning. I opened them to see Mom staring back at me with nothing but love in her eyes. Hugh was a different story though; he was full of terror and jealousy.

"I'm a monster," I whimpered but Mom quickly shook her head.

"You're no such thing. You're a _mutant_ Violet. There are many others like you who have powers too. You're the evolution of man and it's nothing to be afraid of," Mom whispered and I stared back at her.

"Others… like me?"

"Not exactly like you but they can do amazing things. But humans are still scared of mutants and that's why you have to learn how to hide it," Mom explained and I nodded. She turned around and looked at my brother who was still cowering on the floor, with a wet mark between his legs. "Hugh, go clean up. We'll talk about this later."

Hugh glared at me and for the first time in my life, I saw hatred staring back at me. We had always had our fights but this wasn't anger or annoyance; this was hate. He pulled himself off the ground and stormed to our room, slamming the door shut.

"Don't worry, Violet, it'll get easier," Mom soothed as she pet down my hair. "I promise.

[X]

But it didn't.

Hugh never forgave me for that moment and my anger only grew as we got older. Four more years passed and about two dozen incidents occurred. The length of my powers always varied and sometimes, my eyes would just spark gold and other times, I would go the whole nine yards with the teeth and the claws and sometimes my ears would even grow a little, pointing up.

But it was nothing compared to the day I reached my full form.

Once again, I was having a bad day. Mom was nagging me about my grades, Gunner and his _whore_ Celia had made fun of my acne and Hugh and Clyde had body-checked me into a locker, calling me a freak. As far as I knew, Hugh never told anyone about my powers but everyone in the school thought I had a temper like Satan. They even had a nickname for me: _Violent Violet_.

And they just _loved_ to see how far they could push me.

But that day was different from the others because that day, I had had enough. I was done with the teasing and the venom that always threatened to poison me. I was done with my mother's nagging and my teachers tip-toeing around me like I would rip their throats out if they so much as said my name wrong. I was just done with it all. So when Clyde called me _that word_ in Chemistry, I finally snapped.

We were talking about polyatomic ions and all of it went in one ear and out the other. So of course when my teacher, Mr. Robinson, called on me, I didn't know the answer. "Violet, can you tell me what the charge for sulfate is?"

"Uh… negative twelve?" The class exploded in giggles and I ducked my head in embarrassment.

"Stupid freak," Clyde yelled and the class laughed harder.

"Quiet down kids!" Mr. Robinson tried but they didn't stop. So finally, for the first time in years, I decided to stand up for myself.

I stood up, pushing my desk away from me as my fists curled into fists. "What did you just call me, coward?" I snarled. I wasn't expecting Clyde to actually say anything back, especially after the incident eight years ago but to my surprise, he pulled himself out of his chair and took a step towards me so our noses were almost touching.

I could vaguely hear the bell ringing, dismissing class, but nobody moved. They all wanted to see what would happen between me and Clyde. "I called you a stupid freak," he snarled out.

Everyone expected me to yell at him or to maybe punch him in the face. Maybe even threaten him some more or remind him where he got those disgusting scars on his hand. Instead, I just smiled, baring a row of razor-sharp teeth. Clyde stumbled back as I felt the venom – no, this time it was pure power – take control of me. "Who's the stupid one now?"

My voice was husky and it sounded like there was a completely separate, aggressive voice behind it. It would have even sent shivers down my spine if I wasn't loving every moment of it.

"You're a m-m-mutant?" Clyde stuttered, staring at me in complete shock. My green eyes flashed to gold and my hair faded to black.

"Damn right."

It didn't stop there. This time, I could feel myself growing under my shirt and black fur sprouting from my skin. I collapsed on all fours as my shirt started to rip as I grew. I stalked towards Clyde, snarling at him as he scrambled to get away. I lunged at him, pinning him under my large, dog-like feet and snarling down at him. This time, I wasn't going to stop at the hand.

I was going to stop when he was dead.

Just as I was about to clamp my jaws around Clyde's throat, I spotted something in the window; my reflection. I was no longer a small brunette with green eyes and pale skin; I was a wolf. I was sleek bluish-black with brilliant golden eyes and a sliver of green in them. I was Apex from the zoo. I looked down at Clyde to see his eyes were shut and he was fearfully waiting for the moment when I would take his life.

He didn't deserve to die. He may have deserved a lot of things, but not to die.

I stepped away from Clyde and sprinted towards the door. It was already open a crack but I slammed my entire body into it, sending it crashing to the ground. I stumbled out of the room to see everyone staring at me in utter horror. I looked around the crowd and even though I recognized them, their names didn't come to mind. It was like the wolf part of me was taking over completely. That is, until the muscular brown haired boy with green eyes stepped forward.

"Violet?" His voice cracked.

' _Hugh_.'

I turned and started sprinting down the halls. I needed to get out of there!

"Violet, wait!"

I burst through the doors of the school and looked around wildly. Not knowing where my feet were taking me, I started running. Hordes of people were chasing after me, screaming profanities at me and trying to throw things at me and Hugh led the pack but he looked concerned, not angry. I ran and ran until I reached a small, white house with an overgrown lawn and missing shingles. I felt myself starting to change again but the power was still coursing through my blood.

I stood up, so I still had thick fur and a long black muzzle but I had human-like hands and feet, only with more slender fingers and toes. I walked up to the front door and slammed it open, snapping the lock and making it fall on the ground. Mom appeared at the doorway in a second and horror covered her face. "Oh God, Violet… what happened?"

"This is me, Mom," I snarled. My voice sounded husky and vicious. "Or do you want me to change so people don't find out about your freak of a daughter?"

"You aren't a freak, Vi," Mom said fiercely. "Just breathe."

"I don't want to fucking breathe!" I screamed and my wolf instincts came back in full force. I leapt at my mother, knocking her down and locking my teeth around her neck. There was a crunching sound and blood filled my mouth. Mom went limp.

I pulled away and lifted my head, letting out a proud howl for my kill. Until I heard the sound of someone screaming. I whirled around to see Hugh standing at the door, surrounded by classmates. The power vanished from my body and I could feel myself turning back into a human. I stood up, jumping away from my mother's dead body in horror of what I'd just done. My clothes were in tatters and my stretched out skirt was barely staying on my thin hips.

The taste of copper filled my mouth as horror washed over my body. I didn't know whether I was more horrified by the fact that I had just slaughtered my mother or that for a second, I actually enjoyed doing it. I _wanted_ to do it again.

"Oh God, what'd I do?" I whispered, backing away. Blood was pooling around Mom's throat and her once lively green eyes were glazed over and her lips were parted in a silent scream. "No, no, no, no. What'd I do?"

"Kill her!" Someone screamed and suddenly I was very aware of the situation I was in. I had just killed my mother and now everyone wanted to kill me. I darted towards my room, slamming and locking the door just before they reached it.

I didn't waste any time in shoving as many clothes as I could into a duffle bag and snatching my passport and a wad of money from my drawers. Slinging the bag over my shoulder, I looked over the room Hugh and I shared one last time before sending my fist through the window and climbing out. I didn't even bother being sneaky, I just ran.

Hugh must have seen me because not a moment later, he and his crowd were chasing me. I was faster though; thank God I joined the cross-country team. I didn't look back as I ran but I knew they had stopped chasing me after a couple of blocks. But just as I thought I was safe, I heard Hugh screaming from behind me.

"I'm going to kill you Violet! Even if it's the last thing I do!"

 **A/N: Special thanks goes out to KatieK101 for _everything_ over the past few months. Love ya! Updates will be every two weeks :)**


	2. Flight Risk

_Why won't you let me go?  
Do I threaten all your plans, I'm insignificant.  
Please tell them you have no plans for me,  
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?_

-Ode to Sleep, 21 Pilots

Over ten hours later, I was standing outside the Westchester Airport with a duffle bag tossed over my shoulder and my shredded uniform replaced with a sweatshirt and leggings. Even though it was freezing out and rain was coming down in buckets, I was wearing flip flops.

The only reason I was wearing them instead of actual shoes was because I used all my money to buy a plane ticket and since my 'transformation' ripped my shoes off, I could only afford cheap flip flops from the dollar store.

Westchester. It was a long way from Calgary. But it was also in New York and ten years ago, a man from New York came to my doorstep, saying that he could help me. New York was a big state but if he truly wanted to help me control this curse, he would help me find my way to him.

I was banking on that idea because I couldn't exactly walk around New York for the rest of my life. I didn't have enough money for a cab – well, I did but I'm doubting two dollars can get you anywhere in America. Besides, I'm talking two dollars in Canadian. My money's worthless here.

I started walking down the street, passing a group of guys and making my way to a map of NY. There were the obvious places labeled but nothing that said, 'If you're a mutant freak and looking for some bald guy you saw ten years ago, come here.'

I stared blankly at the map before letting out a sigh of defeat. I pressed my forehead against the clear plastic that separated the map from the outside and closed my eyes. ' _One… Two… Three… Four…'_

"Uh, can I help you with something, kid?" One eye opened and glanced to my side. There was a man standing there with dark hair, sideburns and a fat cigar in his mouth. He was wearing a leather jacket and I could see a shiny motorcycle behind him. He looked like the bad boy straight out of a 90's movie.

"Unless you're willing to spare twenty grand so I can buy a car and adventure around America to look for a man I haven't seen for ten years, then no, you cannot help me," I snapped and the man held up his hands defensively.

"Hey, don't chew my head off, I'm just trying to help," he said easily.

"Yeah whatever," I grumbled and closed my eyes again. I could hear him walk away and mutter something about hormonal teenagers under his breath. I may have snapped at him a bit but I doubt he's ever gone through anything I just went through yesterday.

I pulled my head away from the map and sighed. I couldn't just stand here all day so like it or not, I had to choose a destination and stick with it. There would be no point in walking all over the state to find this Professor guy so I would have to find out more about him.

' _What better way to find out about a guy than Google?'_ But getting on the Internet would be harder than I thought because I didn't bring my phone or iPod and I don't know how many people would just hand over their phones so I could find out where someone lives. _'You could steal one. I mean, you already killed someone so what's a little theft to add to the pile of crimes?'_

I shook my head and started walking again. I had to focus on the moment without looking back on what happened. If I thought about my family, I would break down and who knows what would happen to my powers if I lost control of my emotions again?

With my eyes set on the Starbucks in the distance, I picked up the pace. There were bound to be people there and the free Wi-Fi was a plus. By now, I was jogging and for the first time in what seemed like forever, there was a sliver of hope that life would go on.

I reached the Starbucks in a few minutes and pushed open the door. I was back to my normal, human strength so I didn't knock it down like every door earlier. People turned to stare at me and for a second, my heart stopped beating. ' _Oh God, did I turn into a wolf without realizing it?'_

But then I realized how out of place I looked. I was soaking wet, wearing flip flops and old moth-eaten clothes, and I was carrying a duffle bag. Everything about me screamed runaway. Ignoring the stares, I walked up to the barista, "Uh, what can I get with two Canadian dollars?"

"Nothing," she answered back and I sighed. "But you can wait in here for the rain to slow down."

"Thanks," I replied and walked over to the chairs. I threw my duffle bag on the table and for the first time in hours, let myself rest. I didn't even let my muscles relax on the plane because I was terrified that if I let go, the beast would come out.

"Are you okay, sugar?" An old lady asked me. I was about to snap at her when I saw the white iPhone in her hand. "Honey?"

"Uh, yeah." I paused. Maybe a little sympathy would do me some good. "Actually, no, I'm not. I just had to leave my home because my mother was killed and my brother blames me for it." My voice cracked and genuine tears filled my eyes, threatening to spill down my cheeks.

I felt a gentle hand rub circles on my back. "Don't cry, sugar. Just tell me what happened."

"I came to school yesterday and my mother was laying on the floor, dead, with a wolf standing over her. I lived in Canada so wolf attacks were a pretty common thing," I added, praying that she was one of those oblivious people who knew nothing about Canada. Thankfully, she was nodding.

"I heard about wolf attacks. They're the second biggest cause of death in Canada, next to polar bear attacks, right?" the woman asked and I nodded.

"Something like that," I whimpered. ' _Are you that stupid?'_

"Anyway," I continued, letting the tears fall from my eyes. "My brother, Hugh, walks in and the wolf bolts. All he sees is me and our dead mother and he thinks I killed her." I let out a loud sob, falling into the woman's open arms and burying my face in her shoulder.

She set her phone down so she could wrap her arms around me and that's when I made my move. I snatched it and dropped it in my duffle bag. It was almost too easy and for a second, I considered putting the phone back just so I could try again. Part of me only wanted to do that because if I was caught for stealing, then I'd be put in prison where I deserve to be.

I pulled away and rubbed my eyes. "Thank you, Miss. I really needed that."

"Oh no, darling. If you ever need anything, just give me a call. Here, I'll put your name in my phone right now." _SHIT_! "Now where'd I put that silly thing?"

"I saw a man pass by a minute ago. Maybe he swiped it?" I offered and the woman gasped. It only made me feel worse about stealing her phone but judging from her designer jacket and pearl necklace, she didn't need it that much.

"Oh my! The thief! What'd he look like so I can report him to the police?" Thinking on the spot, I described the motorcycle guy from earlier. "I'll be right back, I need to borrow the barista's phone."

And then she left to go call the police. To begin with, I was only planning on taking the phone so I could Google this Professor guy but she left me the perfect opportunity; she left her purse.

I didn't even think about it as I grabbed her white, Coach Bag and my own duffle bag before I bolted for the door. I could vaguely hear someone yelling after me but the second I was out of that café, I was gone. I don't know how I ran so fast after being so exhausted but within moments, the shouting faded and Starbucks was a shrinking green dot in the distance.

Only once the Starbucks was completely out of sight did I stop to search the contents of the bag. The first thing I saw was the fat wallet, packed to the brim with credit cards and hundred dollar bills. There was also a pack of gum, a few sets of keys, some hand sanitizers and finally, another cell phone, but this one was a bland flip phone.

With all this money, there would be more than enough to get me a decent place to stay and a bus ride to wherever I needed to go tomorrow. But today, all I needed to do was find a place to stay the night. Hopefully one that didn't have camera's in case I have another outburst.

It didn't take long to find a small inn on the corner of an empty street. The inn was kind of creepy and had a musky smell to it but it was also the last place anyone would look for me. Because now, I wasn't only being hunted down by Canada, but also Americans.

It didn't cost much so I booked a room for the night and made my way up the stairs. When I entered the room, the musky smell hit me even stronger and I started to regret my decision. The inn was run down and it looked like the beds housed a family of mice.

There was even an empty Pepsi bottle on the window sill and the soap looked used. But still, it was a place to sleep and in the morning, I could continue my hunt for the mysterious Professor.

Speaking of which… I pulled out the glossy white iPhone and turned it on. It didn't have a password on it and Safari was already on the screen. But when I saw what the woman was looking at, my gut dropped.

The website she was on was called Anti-Mutant Society of America. It talked about how mutants were unnatural and needed to be dealt with before the problem grew into something uncontrollable. It talked all about the Mutant Registration Act, mutant extermination, and it gave a list of numbers of people to call if you spotted a mutant.

"Closed-minded bitch," I snarled as I pulled up a new page.

At first I tried typing in 'bald professors, NY' but that lasted all of five seconds before I tried something new. 'Mutant specialists, NY.'

This brought up the results I was looking for. There were hundreds of pages about mutant specialists, some who fought for mutant freedom, and other fought against it. I clicked on someone called William Stryker but clicked away when I saw that he in fact, had a semi-full head of hair.

The next guy was Bolivar Trask and he was not only a dwarf, but also had more hair than the first guy. Not to mention it was a memorial page so even if I _was_ looking for him, I'd be out of luck. Finally, after clicking on doctor after doctor, I found Charles Xavier. He was a bald man who looked a little older than I remembered but I was positive it was him.

I read the page quietly to myself, "Professor Charles Xavier graduated Harvard University with honors when he was only sixteen years old. From there, he obtained a Ph.D at Oxford in Biophysics, Genetics, and Psychology… blah, blah, blah…. It is rumored that Xavier carries the mutant gene and is the reason he feels so strongly for mutant freedom. Some believe that he can move things, such as metal, with his mind and control others thoughts. Nothing has been proven as of yet…"

The rest just went on to explain his boring rich kid past but that didn't interest me. What did interest me was the address of the house that was in his family for ten generations. If it was passed down for that long then there was a chance he was still living there.

Greymalkin Ln,  
Westchester County, 1407, North Salem,  
NY 10560, United States

I recited the address a few times in my mind and just to be safe, took a picture and saved it to my _new_ phone and tossed it into my _new_ bag. I was about to go have a shower when I finally realized that this was the first time I was alone since everything happened.

Since I lost control and slaughtered my own Mom, since I lost the only family I had left, and since everything I had ever known was ripped away from me within seconds. Now, I was completely alone and I could mourn.

I flopped down on the bed, letting my eyes close as tears filled them. It hurt like hell, losing a parent, especially the last one I had left since I never met my father before. But no matter how painful it was right now, knowing that I caused it, I knew it could be so much worse.

Because for the past ten years, I had been preparing for that moment; preparing for the moment when I would finally lose control and someone close to me would get hurt. I didn't know whether it would be Hugh, or Mom, or even one of the bullies at school.

All I knew was that I was a ticking time bomb and I had finally exploded.

And because I was so prepared of the devastation I would cause, I had desensitized myself. I got used to the thought of hurting someone that any sadness I felt for the death of my mom was nowhere near as painful as it could have been.

Thinking back on it, I realize how sad that really is.

[X]

 _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

 _I banged my fists on the door, tears forming in my eyes. I angrily blinked them away, not wanting to be the little bitch who was found curled up on the floor, crying._

 _I couldn't see anything, other than the light coming from the top of the locker. That's right, Clyde, Celia, and Rose, has ganged up on me and shoved me in a locker. The only reason I didn't fight back was because I was too busy trying to count to ten so I wouldn't flip out on them._

" _Open the door!" I screamed, crashing my fists on the cold, metal door. I let out a string of curse words as I heard a group of girls pass by, giggling to themselves. They knew damn well that I was stuck in the locker. "Somebody?"_

 _I could hear footsteps coming towards my locker and I started banging again. "Hey! Help!" I yelled._

" _Yeah, I know. Just give me a second," the boy said as he began to fiddle with the lock. His voice sounded familiar and I could instantly place it. He was one of Hugh's best friends, Randy. I felt my gut drop._

 _I had never talked to Randy before but if he was anything like Clyde and Hugh, I would be wishing I was still stuck in the locker by the end of it. The locker door swung open, revealing black hair, soft brown eyes, and an awkward smile. "You okay?" he asked._

" _Fine," I answered slowly, eyeing him wearily. There was no way he was being nice to me right now. No one this attractive was ever nice to me. "Why did you do that?"_

" _Let you out?" he clarified, his eyebrows furrowed and head cocked to the side. "Because you were stuck in a locker."_

" _But you realize who put me in there, right?" I asked and he looked away. "I should be going."_

 _Before I could walk away, he grabbed my arm. "Listen, they aren't bad people. Trust me when I say you're not the only one dealing with problems."_

 _I chuckled humorously. "Everyone has problems, it doesn't mean I should be the outlet for their anger." I eyed Randy again. "By the way, why are you being so nice to me?" I couldn't help but ask it._

 _He let out a short laugh. "Contrary to popular belief, we're not all assholes."_

" _Well you sure hang out with some," I shot back and Randy merely shrugged, an easy smile plastered on his face. Before he could answer, the second bell rang, signalling that we were late for class. "Um, I'll see you around then, I guess."_

" _Yeah, see you Violet," he responded, waving before turning and walking in the opposite direction. That had been the first time anyone from Hugh's group of friends had ever been nice to me. And I promised myself right then and there that I wouldn't forget what Randy did for me._

I was ripped away from my dream by a loud banging on the door. I sat up, looking around in confusion until the events of the past few days dawned on me.

I was in nothing but my panties and bra so I quickly pulled on a white button up shirt and a pair of jeans. I made sure everything was packed in case it was the police and I needed to make a quick getaway.

My eyes were still red from all the crying I did last night and there were huge bags under my eyes. It didn't help that I didn't have any makeup and my hair was unwashed and a complete mess. There wasn't much I could do about it though so instead, I answered the door.

It was a man, quite large with a mean scowl on his face. I thought he was a cop at first until he uncrossed his arms and I could see AMSA on his jacket. Anti-Mutant Society of America. When he stepped to the side, he revealed the same woman I stole from yesterday. But instead of a sweet grin on her face, it was replaced with a scowl.

"Hello _darling_ ," she spat the word out like venom. She walked into the room, shoving past me and looked around the place in disdain. A group of men, all wearing the same AMSA logo on their jackets followed her and pointed their guns at me. "You know, I didn't know you were a mutant at first. I truly believed you were some runaway scum who nabbed my purse for a few extra bucks. But then I turned on the TV and guess who was on it?"

I didn't say anything. My mouth was too dry to speak.

"It was you. They say you released your powers in the middle of class and then went home and slaughtered your own mother. Your brother, Hugh, was on it too and let me tell you, he did _not_ look very forgiving. You're just lucky the media didn't make a bigger deal out of it."

"Leave my brother out of this," I snarled and could feel a familiar sensation start to burn in my chest. I wasn't fighting it this time.

"The police didn't release any of the details but they said you were _very_ dangerous. Let's see how dangerous you really are," the woman smirked, "when my men are gunning you down."

"You don't think people won't hear your guns? That the innkeeper won't question why his one guest has disappeared?" I snapped and the woman laughed.

"As founder of AMSA, I pride myself in my clean up jobs." She paused as a few men grabbed my suitcase and dragged it out of the room. "You could learn something from me the next time you decide to slaughter one of your family members. Who's left, your brother?"

"I said leave him out of this," I growled out each word. I didn't even bother to count to ten because this time, I _wanted_ to rip them to shreds.

"Honey, you brought him into-" she couldn't even finish her sentence before I let out a howl. The transformation only took a few seconds before I was on all fours, my black fur bristled, and my golden eyes sweeping over the men.

It was like something inside me ignited. Like there was always a spark and she added the gasoline.

I launched myself at the woman first, biting into her face and waiting a second for her scream to cut off before lunging for the next man. I knocked him over and bit down swiftly to his throat. He probably didn't feel a thing.

But I did when a gunshot rang out and I felt a piercing pain through my side. I stumbled to the side but only let myself rest for a heartbeat before launching myself at the man who shot me. He shot at me again, this time hitting my shoulder.

This time, I _made sure_ he felt it.

There was another gunshot but this one missed me. A second later, he was lying dead on the floor with his comrades. I was still in wolf form when I killed the last man. He fell to the floor and the overwhelming scent of death and blood filled my nose.

I didn't bother with my bags, I just ran.

The address of Xavier's Mansion was in neon lights in my mind and the only thing I was focusing on was getting there was fast as I could. And as fast as I could was by running in wolf form.

I sprinted across a busy highway and through a crowd of people who all screamed in terror when they saw me. The fact that blood was dripping from my mouth and side wasn't helping either. I was the monster people heard about in stories, and tonight, I was running through the streets.

I only managed a mile before the pain of the wound really started settling in. No matter how much it hurt, I couldn't stop. I had an overwhelming sense that Xavier's Mansion was just around the corner, but no matter how many corners I turned, it was never there.

Finally, when the pain grew too much to bare, I switched back into my human form. It didn't ease the pain but I was more focused on actually moving than staying in my Apex form. I stumbled forward and pressed my hand against my side. I pulled it away to see it was covered in blood and it wasn't stopping.

I let out a mangled cry as I stumbled forward, past a group of trees that were blocking my view to see a huge, castle-like building. Kids were running around outside and I could see a couple making out under a tree. It looked like some orphanage until I watched a child vanish and appear a second later behind his friend. The vanishing kid grabbed his friend, startling him and the next thing I know, the boy is covered in scales.

Looking closer at the children, I could see small little differences that made the children not so normal; flowers were blooming around the kissing couple, some kids were running a little too fast and others were jumping just a little too high. They were mutants; all of them.

' _Xavier's Mansion.'_

"Hey, who the hell are you?"

I slowly turned around to see a boy around my age in a brown leather jacket. He had a lighter in his hand and flicked it open, as if that would save him. I smiled at his idiocy and tried taking a step towards him but only managed to tumble into his arms. "And why are you covered in blood?" he shrieked with eyes the size of saucers.

I held up my bloody hand and pointed to the castle. His eyes only widened more. "Is this where the Professor lives?"

"Professor X? Yeah, this is his school," the boy answered.

School. Ten years ago, he had come to my house, looking for me so he could bring me to live in this school. A school where mutants could learn to control their powers. I glanced over at the children playing to see one send bolts of lightning out of his finger tips and another girl burst into flames. I was right; they were all mutants.

' _Mutant High_.' I thought tiredly. I was so tired and I just wanted to fall asleep.

"Uh, you still there? You're kind of bleeding to death on me and this is a new jacket," the boy said and I giggled. I didn't know why I did, I was just so exhausted… My head felt light and everything was starting to spin around me. I looped my arms around the stranger's neck and let my eyes lull shut. "Hell no, don't you dare die on me! I can't just drag a dead body back to school! I have a bad enough reputation as it is."

' _I won't die on you,'_ I thought calmly. ' _I'm just taking a little nap… I just need to… sleep…'_

And with that thought, I fell limp in the boy's arms.

[X]

John was just minding his own business, spending his lunch outside instead of being drowned in Rogue and Bobby's sexual tension, when he saw her. She was a small brunette with pale skin and some acne on her cheeks, bags under her green eyes and a staggered walk. Everything about her just screamed 'trouble.'

It's a good thing John liked trouble.

But the thing that really threw him off was her clothes. They were _shredded_. They looked like they might once have been jeans and a white shirt but now they barely clung to her body and if someone so much as blew on them, they'd probably fall apart.

Not only were they destroyed, but they were also covered in blood. Too much blood to be normal. Crimson was coming from her mouth and was splattered on her face. It was also leaking from her side and shoulder and John could tell that she was shot. He'd seen enough bullet wounds after the X-Men come back from missions to know one even from his distance.

So now, she lay passed out in John's arms and covered in blood. What a compromising position this was for him.

"Freaking strangers always coming in here, acting like they own the place," John grumbled and shifted her in his arms so he had a better grip. The pyromaniac started hurrying to the school where Jean or Storm could take her off his hands. "Always walking in and dying in someone's arms." She coughed a few times and red droplets splattered on John's face and clothes.

By now, it's safe to say that John's jacket was ruined.

"John?" he glanced up to see Bobby and Rogue standing outside with horrified looks on their faces.

"Ah, wipe that look off your faces, I didn't do anything," John snapped. "But a little help would be nice."

"Where'd you find her?" Rogue gasped and Bobby took her out of John's arms. The Iceman's face contorted in a mixture of terror and disgust when he realized how much blood she had on her. She was literally soaked from head to toe.

"She was stumbling along the road asking for the Professor," John answered as he rushed alongside them. "She smells like wet dog too."

"Shut up, John," Rogue snapped and shot him a glare as they finally reached the school. "You don't know what she's been through."

"Actually, I do. It's called mass murder. You should look it up," John smirked and the brunette just rolled her eyes. ' _Feisty, I like it. Too bad Popsicle already called dibs on her…'_

"Professor! Jean! Anyone?" Rogue yelled. A second later, Storm appeared and her jaw dropped when she saw the girl.

"Violet," Storm breathed with her eyes wide as saucers.

"Well it's fantastic that you're on a first name basis but she's kind of dying over here," John growled out and Storm snapped out of her little trance.

"Bring her to the medical bay, quickly," Storm ordered.

They reached the infirmary within a few minutes and Jean was already ready with her needles, medications and other doctor stuff. When Bobby set Violet on the medical table, Jean wasted no time in shooing the group away. "Get out, you can't see this."

"What, her bleed some more? I'm pretty sure if we had a problem with gore then we wouldn't have lasted this long," John said, motioning to his clothes. Jean didn't say anything else as the doors to the medical bay slid shut, leaving John, Bobby and Rogue locked out.

John slowly turned around to see they both looked frazzled. Bobby had blood smears all down his body and some on his face. Rogue didn't have any red on her but she was paler than usual and her brown eyes were the size of saucers. John was in the worst position with red splatters all over his clothes and a giant stain on his _new_ leather jacket. But even that didn't stop him from being a cocky jackass.

"So…anyone up for a game of pool?"

 **A/N: Second chapter!**

 **What do you guys think of it? Just so you know, this takes directly after X1, when Logan leaves. It will go into X2 and X-Men: The Last Stand, but unlike a lot of OC fics, it will** _ **actually**_ **change the course of the story. I can't stand it when authors put in a character but they literally make no difference in the storyline. Think of what would happen if you took Bobby or Rogue out of the picture. Would the movies not be completely different?**


	3. A Murderer's Conscience

_You've got a second chance,  
you could go home.  
Escape it all.  
It's irrelevant.  
It's just medicine._

-Medicine, Daughter

Blood. Lifeless eyes staring up at me. _Murderer_.

The one word repeated in my head as I slowly started to wake up from my nightmarish sleep. The dream was blurry and rushed but it made my heart simultaneously stop and race at the same time. All I could see was blood splattered against AMSA jackets… my mother's green eyes… lifeless eyes.

Thankfully, that was when I woke up.

I didn't open my eyes but I could hear their voices.

From what I could tell, there were two men and two women, all standing around me. I had woken up five minutes before but when I heard the doors to what I was assuming was a hospital, slide open, I pretended to be asleep.

"John found her," One of the women started. Her voice sounded vaguely familiar. "He, Rogue, and Bobby brought her in. They don't know what happened to her. Maybe if we read her mind…?"

"No." It was a man and he also sounded familiar. He sounded old and wise but also very firm, with a hint of a British accent on his tongue. "I won't read anyone's mind without consent unless it's absolutely necessary. Maybe something happened to her that we don't need to know about."

"She was shot twice… I think this is something we need to know about, Professor," the younger of the two men said.

"As curious as I am to know what happened to her, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. It wouldn't be fair to enter the mind of someone who isn't conscious to consent," the older man replied. His voice made me one hundred percent sure that no one would be reading my mind.

"But why now? You said you stopped by her house nearly ten years ago so what made her come _now?"_ It was the other woman, a young one.

Everything started to fall into place. The old man must be the Professor and the other woman was the white haired one who went with him. The other two people could be other professors or maybe even students who have some relation to me.

"I saw on the news that her mother died by some kind of animal attack. Some people are claiming it was Violet so that could be it." It was the final man. He, like the other woman, was younger and sounded smart.

"Yes, her powers could have finally reached their full potential and she lost control. Her powers manifested at a young age, when she was only six years old. When Storm and I went to help her, her mother refused because she thought she could handle it herself," The Professor said.

' _Mom… I killed her… along with so many other people just doing their job.'_

My hands curled into fists and I could feel something start to burn in my chest. But I was not going to give in to the wolf this time. I refused it because every time I changed, I ended up hurting someone and that couldn't happen this time. Especially not with people who were only trying to help me.

"Violet, are you awake?" the white haired lady, or Storm, asked and my green eyes shot open.

I sat up on the table and held out my hand to keep her back. The venom was physically burning me now and I all I wanted to do was keep her away. Storm took a step towards me, her hands outstretched to try and help.

I gave her a hard shove away from me so I couldn't accidentally hurt her. But that didn't work when she went flying into the wall.

All of the sudden, it seemed like everyone was on me at once. The young guy, who was wearing these weird red glasses, had his hands on them, threatening to pull them off. That might not sound scary but I could only imagine what could come from his eyes, judging by the red glow they emitted. A young, red haired woman also held her hands up and at first I thought she might send lightening or lasers from them, until I felt myself being yanked back and lifted in the air. She was lifting me with her mind.

"Set her down Jean, she's just scared," the Professor said calmly and I felt myself slowly being lowered to the ground. I stumbled a bit when my feet touched the ground but I managed to keep myself stable. "I hope you slept well, Violet."

' _Is that supposed to be a joke?_ ' I thought bitterly and crossed my arms. "You're the Professor, aren't you?"

"I am. I visited you many years ago when your powers first manifested in hopes of helping you," the Professor explained as if I didn't already know all of this. "Your powers manifested much earlier than anyone would have thought."

"Right. Ten years ago, was it?" I replied and he smiled warmly with a nod. I was already starting to like the Professor. But a part of me was also wary; what if his kindness was all an act to hurt me in the end. I tried to push the paranoia down. "Where… where am I?"

"You're at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters," Jean explained but to be honest, I was still holding a grudge against her for using her powers on me. "As you could probably tell, we're all mutants here. This is a safe haven for people like us, trying to find a place in the world."

' _There's no place in the world for a killer like me_ ," I thought to myself. All I could picture was people lying dead at my feet. And it was all my fault. I started shaking again and my breathing shortened. My emotions were way too unsteady with everything that's been happening these past few days.

"Violet, honey, are you okay?" Storm asked sweetly and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Storm, stay back," Glasses Guy ordered and got ready to pull off his glasses again. We both knew that I was unstable and about to have an outburst but he wasn't helping.

The burning sensation was starting to come back and I squeezed my eyes shut, clenching my fists and doing what my mother told me so many years ago. ' _One… Two… Three… Four… Five…'_

By five, I was starting to calm down again and was even able to open my eyes. By seven, I could uncurl my fists, and by ten, I was back to being normal Violet. The one who can control her temper and looks like a normal human being. Everyone in the room looked uneasy though and I could understand why; I could go from scared to calm to angry to calm again in thirty seconds flat and anyone could tell that I was clearly unwell.

Being an unstable human was bad; being an unstable mutant was worse.

"Violet, I understand what you're going through. Trust me, you're not the only one who's been there but just remember that we're all friends here. Nobody is going to hurt you and nothing can happen to you here," Storm soothed and I slowly nodded and exhaled a deep breath.

"It'd be helpful if Shades over there didn't try blasting me with fireballs whenever I blinked," I said quietly and the young man smiled bashfully.

"Sorry Violet, it's just a precaution," he grinned and I shot him a tight-lipped smile.

"So uh," I cleared my throat. "What happened to me exactly?"

"We were hoping you could tell us that," Jean said. "Three of our students carried you in and you've been out for about a day and a half. You suffered from two gunshot wounds; one to the stomach and one to the shoulder. Once we removed the bullets, you started healing yourself. Slowly – it took most of the time you slept to heal completely - but it confirmed that you have healing powers. They'll only become faster as you mature."

I nodded but I could tell that she wanted me to go on and tell her what my main power was, but to be honest, I didn't even know what my power was. I could turn into a wolf? But that wasn't all. I could also harness Apex's strength while I was still changing forms. I also lost my temper and couldn't remember being Violet. So I wasn't just changing my form into a wolf; the wolf was becoming _me_.

And the thought terrified me.

"I know this is a lot to take in at the moment, but Violet, I think it'd be in everyone's best interests if you stayed with us. This is the place where I can promise you'll be safe from any discrimination and people who wish to harm you. We can teach you how to control your gift-"

"This isn't a gift," I snarled. "What about this seems like a gift to you?"

"- and learn to accept it. I can't promise that it'll be easy but you'll be accepted here," the Professor finished and I slowly nodded. I didn't know why he needed the speech to convince me because I came for a reason. I wouldn't be here if I didn't need his help.

"Uh, yeah, I'll stay," I muttered quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. "I don't exactly have anything to wear though. I left everything at…" I trailed off, remembering the bodies I left at the inn. I wouldn't exactly leave a good impression on my new housemates if they went to collect my things and instead found a pile of dead people.

At least the AMSA took my things out of the room before I killed them. They cleaned my evidence up for me.

"At?" Jean urged and I shook my head. She seemed to get the picture and nodded anyway. "Well, Scott will help you find your room. Your roommate is a girl named Noriko who I think you'll get along with. She's a very independent and loyal woman who will make sure you get the best out of your stay here."

I wasn't sure if being with someone outgoing was going to be the best fit for someone like me. I never had a lot – hell, I didn't have any – friends growing up and my social skills were a bit on the weaker side. By that, I mean I'm bitter, antisocial, and extremely self-conscious. There was no way I would get along with this Noriko girl.

"We can print out a schedule for your classes later, after you get acquainted with some of the other students," the Professor added gently. My God, that man always sounds like he's trying to impress an angel or something.

And once again, I started to doubt how genuine he really was. The last time someone was that nice to me, I ended up staying home from school because Gunner had put itching powder in the roses he gave me. He knew about my crush on his and damn, he knew how to use it to his advantage.

I was still nervous about meeting my new roommate as I followed Glasses Guy – or Scott, as Jean had called him – out of the medical bay and up a weird looking elevator. I was expecting the entire mansion to be modern like the basement had been but it was surprisingly old looking. It was like the entire house was an antique.

It was confusing to say the least; Scott manoeuvered around the place like it was the size of a shoebox while I was still reeling from taking the first left after the elevator. But once I started to gather my bearings, that's when I noticed the stares. It was like I was glowing or something, the way everyone was watching me. I started to freak out and I had to check to make sure I wasn't transforming or anything but when I realized I wasn't, I started to think of all the other horrible reasons why they were watching me.

Was it because I was the new girl? Or was it because of my acne and stringy hair? But then, thousands of other more horrific reasons raced through my mind; they knew what I had done to my mother and all those people, they saw me saturated in blood, or maybe they saw the news and saw me on every 'Breaking News' report.

' _This is America, Violet. They don't cover every single mutant attack, especially the ones in Canada_ ,' I reminded myself. I was still big enough news for that AMSA lady to hear about me though.

"Don't worry about them, Violet," Scott whispered back to me. "You're the new girl and everyone's trying to figure out what your mutation is. It's sort of a game they play; Guess the Mutation. Don't ask why, I guess it's just a stupid little habit they picked up. They'll see your gift during your first Danger Room Session anyway."

"Danger what?" I blanked, looking up at him.

"Danger Room. It's not as bad as it sounds. It's where we train you how to control your powers and use them for good. We usually train in groups, unless for special cases where someone can get seriously injured. Don't worry about it though, everyone ends up liking DR Sessions," Scott explained and my eyes widened at the description. I didn't like the sound of these 'Sessions' at all.

"Am I a special case?" I whispered nervously.

"I don't know, would you mind telling me your power?" I stayed silent. "You're probably fine, Violet. There's only a handful of people who fall into that category and I doubt you're one of them. Just remember that no one can control their powers right away and everyone's been in the same boat as you."

' _I seriously doubt that_.'

"Well this is it," Scott stopped at a normal door. I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be able to find it later but instead of telling him that, I just nodded. He knocked a few times on the door and turned to me. "I'm sure you'll get along with Surge. You might have to put up with your room getting messy or… scorched but once you get used to that, you've found yourself a lifelong friend."

"Scorched?"

Before he could answer, the door swung open to reveal my new roommate. The most striking thing about her was her electric blue hair and then her metal gloves. They almost looked like robotic arms until I saw her wiggle one a little to scratch underneath. "Hey, you must be Velvet!"

"Violet," Scott corrected and Surge/Noriko rolled her brown eyes.

"Same difference," she sassed. What I would give for confidence like that! "So welcome to Mutant Manor, _Violet_! You'll love it here, I promise."

She opened the door a little wider so I could squeeze past but slammed it in Scott's face. I giggled a bit but when I turned around, the smile dropped off the face.

I thought Scott was joking when he said scorched…

The walls were a dull cream colour and there were two large beds in the room; one had a normal beige duvet on it, the other was a shocking yellow. But that wasn't the most startling part about the room. What really got to me was the burns all over the walls. There were huge black marks littering the walls and a few sloppy posters covering the bigger ones. Instead of a window, there was a big black tarp taped over it and I knew this girl would _not_ be easy to live with.

"Don't mind the burns, they're pretty old. It only happens once a month or so," Noriko shrugged, flopping down on the sunny bed. Great, so I only have to be burned alive once a month. Fantastic. "You can call me Nori, by the way. The Professor just told me that you didn't have any clothes so you can borrow some of mine if they fit. They might be a little… provocative for your tastes…"

Nori leaned over the bed and pulled at the dresser drawers under it. There were piles of clothes inside and she dug her hands around them until she pulled out a loose fitting gray tee and some jeans. She tossed them over to me. "Here, I think these'll fit. I'm not letting you borrow my underwear though."

"Duly noted," I nodded and walked over to the bathroom to change. I was wearing a pair of sweats and an oversized hoodie. I was still wearing my underwear underneath though so at least I didn't need to worry about my dignity being lost. The clothes Nori handed me fit fine, if not a little baggy. When I walked out of the bathroom, she was typing madly on her cell phone and glanced up when I came back.

"C'mon, everyone wants to meet you. You're kind of famous around here," she smirked and I paled. Oh God no! So they weren't only staring at me because I was the new girl! "I mean, it's not every day a mutant stumbles in, covered in blood. John made it sound like you took a bath in it."

John. He was the one who carried me back to the mansion; or at least that's what I heard in the infirmary. I don't remember much – hell, I probably wouldn't even be able to pick the kid out of a crowd - but I do remember him complaining about his new leather pants or something. Maybe it was shoes? I was too out of it to remember a thing.

"So I'm guessing there's no way you'd care to explain why you were covered in blood?" Nori tried but I stayed silent. She sighed thoughtfully, "That's what I thought. But let's go already! You being alive will be enough to shut John up about the whole thing for at least five minutes. Even that's pushing it."

"Does he talk a lot or something?" I asked and Nori snorted.

"Yeah sure, you could say that," she said as she smirked. From the way she was acting, I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like this 'John' fellow.

I followed the mutant out of our burned room and down the hall, taking a million lefts and twice as many rights. Finally, just when I was sure we had walked in a full circle, we entered a large room, full of pool tables, a TV and more movies than I've seen in my life. There were a few kids lounging on the couches, others furiously scribbling down homework at a table and the rest were either playing one of the games or watching the news.

Out of everyone, I only recognized one of them. Well, would you look at that? I _can_ pick John out of a crowd.

"I swear to God there wasn't an inch of skin showing on her," he exclaimed loudly and everyone around him groaned. "She was all covered in blood. It was like the period from hell!"

The girl sitting next to him with white streaks in her hair, slapped him on the arm. "John! You can't say things like that!" After that, her eyes shifted up to meet mine and her face paled even more than before. She nudged another boy with icy blue eyes and when he looked up, he could only gape. "Uh, John?"

"Ah, calm down, Rogue. It's not like she'll ever hear it; she's probably still healing from the cannon wound she had in her side," he chuckled. I was literally standing just a few feet away but his back was turned so there was no way he would be able to see me. "I doubt the chick will even come out of that basement before she's thirty! There's no way she could heal from that. It'd be a miracle."

"Then may I present to you, The Miracle Girl Who Shouldn't Be Alive!" Nori announced and everyone turned around so fast that they'd probably all wake up in the morning with severe whip lash. Most of them paled, thinking I'd have a meltdown or something because this John kid was talking about me. The only one who didn't seem fazed was John himself.

"Hey, it's Sleeping Bloody!" he grinned and shuffled over on the couch so I could sit. "How was your nap?"

"Fantastic," I muttered as I sat down next to him. Nori took a place on the floor. "I think it was the blood loss that really sent me right off."

"Glad to hear it. Oh, by the way, you owe me a new jacket." The second the words left his mouth, everyone simultaneously groaned. He scoffed after hearing their reaction. "Well I sure as hell am not spending a hundred bucks on a new jacket."

The boy with icy blue eyes slapped his hand over his face and dragged it down. "C'mon John, the jacket wasn't _that_ great."

John pretended to wipe a tear away from his eye. "I'll miss it dearly."

"I swear he doesn't listen to a word I say," Icy Eyes chuckled.

"It's called selective hearing, my friend. You should look into it now that you've got a girlfriend and stuff. I mean, from here on out it just goes downhill. It's all tampons and thongs and girl problems-" John stopped when White Streaks knocked him upside the head with a glare on her face. He looked around to see every female in the room looked like they wanted to slaughter him.

"I'd stop while I was ahead if I were you," one girl snarled as her eyes burned red. She smiled wickedly and rows of sharp teeth were shown. John held up his hands in defense but he was laughing anyway.

I was starting to see was Nori was talking about earlier.

It seemed like he finally remembered I was there and turned to look at me. "Hey, why were you all bloody and stuff, by the way? Who'd you piss off?"

"Uh…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say. But it didn't look like I needed to say anything because someone else yelled 'hey, you're on TV!' and all the attention was diverted to the small screen. But when I was expecting maybe John or even Nori to be on the screen, it was the last person I wanted to see. _Me_.

But not only that; Hugh was also there.

There was a small picture of me in the corner of the screen and Hugh was standing on the street, his hair unwashed and his face was pale. His green eyes were bloodshot and it looked like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep since the incident. My entire heart dropped and I felt my blood run cold.

"Turn it off," I squeaked, looking around for the remote. Some boy was holding it and instead of hitting the 'power' button, he was turning up the volume. "Turn it off!"

" _We're standing here today with Hugh Hopkins. Only a few days ago, his mother was brutally murdered and while police are investigating, all they can release is that there shows signs of an animal attack but foul play may be involved. Hugh, can you explain what happened that day_?" the reporter asked, shoving a microphone in his face.

"Give me the remote!" I snapped, lunging for it. The kid vanished, only to appear further out of my reach. I could feel panic start to rise up in my veins and I knew that if I didn't stop that damn TV then I'd have a meltdown. I think past history proves I don't handle stress well. "Just turn it the fuck off!"

" _It started like any other day. I took the bus to school and I went to class. But when the bell rang, I could hear people screaming and there's a huge wolf in the hallway. Only it wasn't a wolf, it was my-"_

BOOM!

Everyone let out shrill screams as the TV exploded, leaving only a burn mark where it once was. A second later, all the lights in the room flickered and died out. I stared at the spot in horror, taking a few steps back. ' _Did I do that? Was this another one of my 'gifts' manifesting?'_

"Fucking hell, Nori!" The mutant with the sharp teeth yelled, crossing her arms. "You almost gave me a heart attack! I thought you said those gloves controlled it!"

I turned to stare at the blue haired girl, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "I still have outbursts sometimes… sorry about that guys." She had done it, not me. But why?

Scott appeared at the door, glancing at the TV and then at Nori with a disappointed look on his face. "This is the third TV we've had to replace this month, Nori! If you're going to destroy things, why can't you aim for anything _other_ than the TV?" And then under his breath, "Like Logan."

"Ugh, whatever," a girl muttered, stomping away. "I'm going to the pool. Unless Nori wants to go ahead and blow that up too."

There were a few 'me too' and 'I'm in' and soon enough, the room was nearly empty. The only people left were me, Nori, White Streaks, Icy Eyes, John and then the people who were minding their own business to begin with. Once everyone was gone, John turned to me with a smirk on his face. "So Bloody Mary, what was on that TV that you didn't want us to see?"

"N-nothing," I muttered. He looked like he wanted to say something else but Nori cut him off.

"C'mon Violet, you've had a long day. Let's just get you something to eat and then you can sleep. You're probably exhausted," she said, pulling me to my feet. I glanced one last time at the three before Nori dragged me out of the room. The last thing I heard was John yelling after us.

"Sleep? She just slept for two days!"

Once we were alone and walking down the halls, did the strangeness of it all finally hit me. Nori said she only had outburst about once a month but she had one at the exact time I needed that TV to be turned off? There's no way that was a coincidence. I turned to her, "Hey Nori, is there any way that explosion wasn't an accident?"

She pretended to look shocked. "What? Me fake an outburst to save my new friend from all her secrets being revealed? Never!" But the wink after told me everything.

If I didn't like Noriko before, I sure as hell did now.

 **A/N: A bit shorter than the others but I hope you enjoyed! :)**


	4. If I Only Had a Heart

_Close your eyes.  
Take to the sky like a big blue kite.  
Leave your woes behind.  
Close my eyes.  
Try to remember what you said to me,  
before you say goodbye._

-Freight Train, Sara Jackson-Holman

After Nori saved me in the Rec Room, we quickly became friends. And not those kinds of friends who occasionally hang out and share a few fond memories; I mean we became joined at the hip. I've never had a best friend other than Hugh (which obviously didn't last long) and my new friendship was a lot like the one I once had with my brother.

Other than the fact that she didn't grow to hate me and bully me on a daily basis, of course.

We stayed up late, talking about our lives before the mansion, we went to dinner together and if one of us was in an awkward situation, the other would quickly come to the rescue... Okay, Nori would usually come to _my_ rescue in the form of blowing something up, but I had plans on returning the favour one day. We were sisters and no one could tear us apart.

I learned about her home life in Tokyo before she ran away to New York when her powers manifested and her father thought she was a demon. Before he witnessed lightning bolts shoot from Nori's body, he didn't even think mutants existed.

" _He thought they were like unicorns or mermaids; something popular in the media but just a myth when it came down to it,"_ was her explanation.

After being kicked out, Nori ended up being homeless on the streets for four years, taking drugs to control her powers. I didn't fully understand how her powers worked, other than she could absorb and discharge electricity, thus constantly blowing up the TV.

Nori told me everything about her, but I could barely open up about myself. I tried, trust me I did, but the amount of people who I've hurt would weigh on me whenever I tried opening my mouth.

The one thing I refused to talk about with Nori was about my powers and my past. I never even told her I had a brother. She didn't push it and if someone asked about it, I'd answer with, "I couldn't explain my powers if I tried."

The only thing I told her was that I was Canadian and I didn't have that many friends growing up. Nothing more, nothing less.

But I knew she was dying to know what gave me nightmares at least once a week and woke both of us with a jolt (literally for her. I'm not proud to say I'm the reason for a few more scorch marks on the walls). Each time I had a nightmare, my mattress would have deep slices in it.

The most anyone figured out was that I could heal. It didn't take long for them to figure that part out because it was common knowledge that I came into Xavier's with a bullet wounds and two days later, I was magically okay.

Most people would _love_ healing powers. I mean, you could do whatever the hell you want without any consequences! Why wouldn't that be awesome? But even with something as simple as that, I couldn't have it easy.

It was my first Danger Room Session when I finally picked up on the limitations of my healing abilities.

I had walked into the room, nervously taking a spot next to Nori. There was a line of people and I could only make out a few of them; John, Icy Eyes or Bobby, and White Streak, or Rogue.

Scott was teaching the lesson, wearing a full-out superhero costume, minus the cape. He even switched his glasses for some fancy scuba goggles. "In a hostage situation, it has to be handled delicately. One wrong move can hurt the person you're trying to save and if someone goes as far as to kidnap someone, they probably won't hesitate to kill them."

"So that's why in this DR Session, we'll be learning how to handle a hostage situation. Your goal is to save the hostages without them being hurt and make it back to safety," Scott explained. Suddenly, the room started to shift and objects started to appear in thin air.

I took a shocked step back but Nori nudged me and I saw that no one else looked startled. So I settled back in line. This was normal?

The room changed from silver panelling to a warehouse with barely any lighting and storage boxes so high you couldn't see anything other than the aisle you were in. "But that's not all," Scott continued with a smirk. "Of course, a hostage situation would never be complete without some thugs."

A huge man, who looked like he was made purely of metal, landed next to Scott, causing cracks to appear in the ground where his huge feet touched the cement. He had a red bandana tied around his wrist and handed one to Scott, who leaned down and tied it around his ankle.

"Just to make it simple, red means bad." And then they disappeared. Okay, they didn't disappear, they just walked around the corner but when I peaked around it, they weren't there.

A robotic woman's voice sounded through the warehouse. " _Session begins in five… four… three… two… one."_

I still had no idea what we were doing but the one second I'm standing in a line and the next everyone's running away. The only one who actually took into consideration that I might not know what the hell I'm doing was Nori and she quickly grabbed my hand and yanked me behind some bins.

"Think of this as capture the flag. But instead of a flag, it is hostages and people wearing red will try to attack you instead of just tag you. Do you get it?" she whispered and I stared at her like she had two heads.

"No! What do I do if they attack me?" I whisper-shouted back to her.

"Sorry but you can't hide your power forever." I didn't like that answer. Not in the slightest. "Now let's go! If we stay here for too long we're going to get caught."

I raced after her, trying to be as silent as possible as she led me down an aisle. She was a master at it; she could race down the cement floor without making so much as a sound while I couldn't help the footsteps that echoed in the near silent warehouse. Nori shot me a look that basically said, ' _shut up_ ' and I slowed down even more so I wouldn't cause too much noise.

The entire experience was surreal. We were darting around a fake room, trying to save fake hostages, in a fake situation. And I was supposed to show my powers and risk losing control over this? Not going to happen.

There's no way I was going to let Apex come out. I would die before I let that happen.

But just as I thought it, the sound of someone huge and metal hitting the ground made me whip around faster than I could scream. It was the same man who was with Scott when he explained the Session and the one I did not want to run into. How was I supposed to protect myself against him? Punch him and break my fist? No. The one thing I did was run.

I sprinted away, past Nori and around the corner, skidding a little but not slowing down. After years of being on the cross country team, I easily got away from Metal Man before he even thought of attacking me. I squeezed in between two large storage containers and held my breath, hoping that this would be like one of those movies and he would just walk past me. But instead, I found something much worse.

"Hey." I nearly let out a blood-curdling scream when I finally realized John had found my hiding place before I even did. He was chilling in the back of the small space, a lighter in his hand and he was flicking the lid open and close.

 _Snkt, click. Snkt, click. Snkt, click_.

"What're you doing here?" I whisper-screamed as I pressed myself against the wall. It bugged me even more how he could just be sitting calmly on the floor when I _almost_ died back there. Kind of. "Shouldn't you be attacking stuff or something?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Dollface," he sniggered. "And I've done this a million times. I don't think they'd miss me if I skipped a Session or two. But the real question is, what are you doing here? You realize the Professor is watching from up in his little stalker section? If you don't move or at least do something, he's going to find a way to make you show your power. You can't stay in here forever."

"Watch me," I snapped and sat down cross-legged. John smirked and finally shut his annoying lighter for good. I watched as he casually slid it in his pocket and using the hand he once held the lighter in to make a fist. At first, it didn't even register in my mind what he was doing until he slammed his fist a few times against the metal container he was leaning against.

"Have fun," he smirked before jumping to his feet and running away. I still didn't understand what he had done until the two containers suddenly started to slide away and I could see a huge shadow being cast over me. I twisted my head around to see my favorite tin can out to kill me.

' _Damn you, John_ ,' I thought as I jumped to my feet and started backing away. But apparently they were out for my blood because when I turned around, Scott was blocking my exit. The only thing I could do was fight.

Metal Man slowly started walking towards me, his hand clenching and forming a fist. And then, when I was directly in the middle of him and Scott, he finally swung. His fist missed me, slamming into one of the containers and creating a marvelous dent. I only realized later that he could have put a hole in it if he wanted to, but he was going easy on me. Not to mention the fact that someone well-trained wouldn't have missed me; he was being sloppy on purpose.

Fear shot through my body and before I even knew what was happening, the power flashed and surged through my veins. I hadn't changed, but I could feel my senses go into overdrive and my teeth had probably sharpened as well. Metal Man swung again but this time, he didn't miss. But he didn't hit me either.

I caught his fist using both my hands. It pushed me back and I almost lost my balance but managed to keep my footing. His eyes widened in surprise and I couldn't help but smirk. He thought I was weak and now, I was going to destroy him.

With a roar, I leapt at him, catching him off guard and sending him crashing to the floor with a mighty _thump_. But when he went down, he took me down with him and he landed directly on my leg. All I could hear was a sickening snap and then pain shot through my entire body, making the power drain and returning me to my normal strength.

"Violet, are you okay? Do you want us to stop the DR?" Scott asked as he bent down next to me. I was about to nod until his words really registered in my mind.

Everyone loved these Sessions and how would they feel about me if I made them have to stop after not even ten minutes? The mission would be a failure and they would all blame it on me; as if my self-esteem wasn't low enough. "No, I heal. I'll be fine in a few minutes."

"Are you-"

"Yes! Just go and I'll be fine!" I urged. Even though I had an easy smile on my face, I was crying on the inside. The adrenaline must be what makes it not hurt as much but it was still awful. And when Scott and Metal Man left and I looked down, the leg didn't look like it was healing.

It was definitely broken, but the bone wasn't sticking straight out of the skin or anything, even if it felt like that.

Biting back a scream, I pulled myself to my feet and leaned against the metal containers. If anything, the pain was only getting worse and the healing wasn't kicking in. I'd have to lay low for the rest of the Danger Room Session or find a way to complete it myself.

"Kill me now," I hissed to myself and let my head fall back, my eyes shutting. A single tear slipped from my eye but I refused to cry.

I opened my eyes and when I saw a person hanging from the ceiling, I nearly screamed. But then I noticed a blue bandana tied around her wrist and she wasn't a swinging body or anything. She was a hostage, being held up on a hanging platform and peering over to watch the show.

When the girl saw me looking at her, she smiled and waved. ' _If I get to her then this stupid Session will end and no one will be pissed at me,_ ' I thought to myself.

It must have been the pain or the adrenaline, but the thought of telling someone else where the hostages were and letting them be the hero didn't even register in my mind. All I could think was get the hostages and save myself.

Using my good leg, I scrambled up one of the containers so I was standing on top of it and directly under the hostages. The container was pressed up against the brick wall. A few feet above me was a fire escape ladder that led to a catwalk above. There was no direct way to get to the platform of hostages, but if I could get to the catwalk, I'd be able to (probably) leap onto it.

Hopping back a step, I bent down in an awkward half-flamingo/half-crouch so I could take a lunge at the fire escape. I leapt at it, my fingertips grazing the metal but not managing to get a grip.

"You could just access your power and use your strength to get up there." I turned to once again see my _favorite_ person in the world: John Allerdyce.

"Great, you again," I sighed under my breath. I was still annoyed at him for being… annoying, and also for leaving me back there to fight teenage Iron Man and break my leg. I turned my back on him and trying leaping to the back again. When I fell, he laughed loudly.

"So what _is_ your power?" John asked casually as if my leg wasn't clearly broken and I wasn't trying to save an entire group of hostages by myself.

"What's yours?" I shot back.

"Ah, usually I'd love to show off but this time, I'm not showing until you show me yours." I could practically see the smirk on his face, even though my back was turned. "So my guess is super strength because you caught Colossus' fist like a badass."

Colossus. The Metal Man who broke my leg. Glad that we're now on a first name basis.

"But if it were that, you'd be able to reach that bar…" he hummed to himself. I glanced back at him to see he was sitting cross-legged on the ground. "Fast reflexes maybe? I'm sure Colossus was going easy on you and that was a weak swing."

"Sure, that's it," I called back, not even listening to what he said. "Can you help me now?"

"Think fast!" I whirled around, just in time to see a shoe come at me. It hit me on the shoulder and I instantly scowled. As if a broken leg wasn't bad enough, but now I was going to get a bruise on my shoulder too. "Well it's definitely not fast reflexes."

I didn't even dignify that with a comment. All I said was, "A boost would be nice."

"At least give me a hint about your power," he ordered. Clearly I wasn't getting any help without answering his question.

"I can heal." He looked down at my broken leg and then up at my face again with a look of disbelief. "That's what Jean said at least but it hasn't helped me so far."

"Yeah, no," John said, crossing his arms. "I want to know more than that."

"No you don't!" I finally snapped. He looked a little taken aback as I continued. "Trust me, I couldn't even explain my power if I wanted to and even then, it's not something you want to see first-hand. Now can you just help me up this fire escape so this stupid Session will end?"

John scowled a bit before locking his fingers together to give me a boost up. Grabbing his shoulder with one of my hands and stepping on his hands with my good foot, I pulled myself far enough up to reach the ladder.

When I was finally standing on the ladder, I let out a sigh. Now all I had to do was climb up, leap off the edge and hope I hit the platform, save the hostages, and then strangle whoever thought this was a good idea.

I made it up about three rungs before John called my name. "Hey Violet?"

I glanced down at him, my green eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Icarus."

"What does that even-"

 _Slam!_

My grip on the ladder was ripped away as a body collided with mine. All I saw were huge, red wings, a smug face, and a crimson bandana before I started falling. I didn't even have time to scream before my head collided with the ground.

The pain didn't register. The last thing I saw was the Danger Room start to disintegrate and people rushing over to me. Blood was pooling around my head where a huge dent crushed my skull and both my arms were badly broken.

" _Danger Room Session: Failed._ "

And then, I blacked out, thinking I wouldn't wake up again.

[X]

I was standing in a white hallway, completely alone. Either way I looked the hallway was endless so after playing a quick game of 'Eanie-Meanie' in my head, I started running right. The further I ran, the longer the hall seemed to get.

It seemed like I was running for hours when I finally saw something other than pure white. Something was crumpled on the ground, unmoving and holding an air of dread. I knew what it was the second I saw it but I slowly walked up to it anyway.

When I was finally close enough to see the flies buzzing around her and smell the blood, I had gone too far to turn back. I couldn't control what I was doing as I reached down and flipped her over so she was facing upright.

My mother's green eyes met mine the second I flipped her around, her cold, colourless fingers reaching up and grabbing the collar of my shirt. I didn't even have time to let out a scream as she yanked me so close to her face that I could smell her rotting flesh.

" _Murderer_ ," she hissed before I shot up, out of my nightmare and into reality.

Of course I ended up waking up again; life was too cruel to let me die.

I was in my own bed, not a white hallway, with four people surrounding me. One of them was Nori, who looked relieved and had dried tear-stains down her cheeks. The Professor and Jean were also there, and the final boy was someone I vaguely recognized as the red bird who made me fall off the ladder in the first place.

"You haven't even been here a month," Nori said dryly as I sat up. "How do you keep on managing to get so hurt?"

"Luck?" I shrugged, trying to shake the feeling of horror that still clung to me from the dream. I couldn't have them asking about that though; that would be far too personal.

"A death wish is more like it," she snorted.

I touched my forehead where it used to be completely caved in because of the fall but it had healed completely, along with my leg and arms. "Why did I only start healing after the fall when I had a broken leg before that?"

"That's what we came to talk to you about," Jean smiled softly. "I think we've figured out a part of your healing abilities…"

"Your healing abilities won't kick in unless your body believes it's in real danger. A broken leg may be painful but it's hardly danger. A bullet wound or a crushed skull is a different story. This time, it took you about a day to completely heal," the Professor explained.

"So if it only heals when I'm about to die, then why is my leg back to normal?" I asked, moving my leg around to prove a point.

"Your body isn't going to stop healing until it's sure it is safe," Jean explained. "From what we can tell, your body goes into overdrive when it feels like it's in danger. First it fixes the main problem and then goes to the other areas that need fixing, like your leg for instance. But say you were to have a harmless paper-cut or a bruise. Your body might not recognize it as a threat so your healing powers wouldn't focus on that. It may get healed in the crossfire but it could also just be left to heal naturally."

"Great," I breathed. Not even my healing powers get to be normal.

"Your powers will grow as you become more experienced," the Professor added. "While they may seem like a burden now, you'll learn to control them and you'll grow more powerful. And that includes your power to heal."

"And I think Jay here has something to say to you," Jean piped up, turning to the red-winged mutant. He looked down and I could see him roll his eyes.

"Uh, I wanted to say sorry for making you fall and almost die. I didn't mean to." Nothing in his voice was genuine and judging by the glare he shot me at the end, I knew this wouldn't be the last I saw of him.

Jean and the Professor didn't look totally pleased with his 'apology' but I didn't want to be _that_ kid. So instead, I just shrugged and said, "Um, it was no problem. I didn't have proper footing anyway."

Nori looked like she was about to say something but I shot her a look that said, ' _Please don't make this a big deal._ ' I'd learnt from the living Hell - which some people like to call High School - that it's better to just leave it be than to stand up for yourself.

In fact, if I hadn't stood up to Clyde, I probably wouldn't be in this whole situation.

"I think it's time that we left the kids alone, Jean," the Professor announced, realizing how awkward it became. I breathed a sigh of relief as he wheeled away, leaving me with Nori and Jay. I figured that Jay would just follow them but the second the adults were out of the room, he whirled on me.

"You got me in trouble!" he hissed, giving me a shove. It wasn't hard but it was still enough for Nori to step in the way. "I had to mop the entire X-Jet because of you."

"No, you had to mop the X-Jet because you attacked someone who's clearly new and doesn't have control over her powers," Nori spoke evenly. "If Violet couldn't heal, you'd be cleaning your prison cell, not a jet."

"Watch your back, new girl," Jay snarled before whirling and storming out of the room. I stared after him, feeling a sense of familiarity wash over me. It was like High School all over again and Jay was the equivalent of Clyde with wings.

Now all I needed was Nori to turn her back on me like Hugh did and it'd be the perfect repeat of my past.

"He's an ass," Nori said, rolling her eyes. "He's always getting in trouble but is too cowardly to actually ever take the blame."

"I know people like him," I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I've dealt with 'Jay's' my entire life. This is nothing new and if we have a problem, I've got a best friend who can fry him for me. I've found it's easier to just let him think he's right."

Nori laughed and playfully punched me. "We'll see how much the pretty boy likes it when his feathers are crispy."

After the words left her mouth, Nori's stomach started grumbling loudly. "All this talk of chicken is making me hungry," she joked. "Let's go down for supper."

"I'll be a minute, I just need to go look less… gross," I said. It's been about a day since the Danger Room and I couldn't imagine almost dying plus day-old greasy hair was a good look. I just wanted it in a ponytail at least.

"Sure, I'll see you down there." Nori shot me one last smile before leaving the room to go probably stuff her face with chicken.

I stepped into the washroom to fix my hair, but the second my eyes landed on the mirror, I froze. My face looked… different. It wasn't deformed or anything but something had clearly changed.

My face, which was usually covered in acne, was surprisingly clear. Don't get me wrong, it still had acne, a bit of redness, and some scarring but I couldn't help but notice that it looked a little more healthy and smooth.

" _It may get healed in the crossfire…_ " Jean's words rang in my mind as I touched my cheek. It made sense. Acne wasn't exactly a life-threatening illness but it wasn't healthy either. Whatever made me heal semi-fast must have recognized it as an intruder and started to heal as my head wound got fixed.

So if I kept up with the near death experiences, I'd have no acne by the end of the month.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I pulled my hair back into a loose bun. For once, I was starting to thank my mutation for doing something right.

I exited the restroom and walked down the hall, trying my hardest to ignore the stares and whispers of the other students. Gossip spread fast and a student almost dying definitely qualified as juicy. It didn't take me long to reach the Dining Room and find Nori, sitting with Rogue, Bobby, John, and a few other people who I didn't recognize.

John looked up when I entered the room and a wide grin crossed his face. "There she is! So Snow White, how's it feel to completely ruin your first DR Session?"

Rogue sighed but didn't scold him. She was slowly giving up on taming the other mutant.

"I didn't ruin it," I mumbled. "It's not my fault some bird came out of nowhere and attacked me! And why'd you call me Snow White?"

"Because you came back from the dead," he smirked. Oh wow, he must be real proud of himself for that one. "You kind of _did_ ruin it though. First, you break your leg, then you die, and then Danger Room Sessions get shut down for two weeks so the old man can figure out how to not kill more people."

"Two weeks?" I repeated numbly. That's exactly what I didn't want. I knew that I'd forever despise DR Sessions but the way Scott said it, everyone apparently loved them.

And I was the one who got that taken away from them.

Nori rolled her eyes. "He's being ridiculous. You didn't 'ruin' the Danger Room Sessions. They were too dangerous anyway." When she said it, John shot her a look that screamed, ' _That's kind of the point, genius._ '

"We only have Danger Room once a week anyways," Bobby added. "It's not like we're missing fourteen sessions or anything."

He tried to say it to comfort me but it did the opposite. These mutants _only_ get Danger Room Sessions once a week and I took that away from them. They're all going to hate me. They're going to beat me up with their superpowers. And then I would have to release Apex on them to defend myself and I'm going to end up killing everyone-

"Violet!" John finally yelled, snapping his fingers in front of my face a few times. "You look like Bobby realizing he won't get any action with Rogue. Nobody _actually_ cares that they have to miss two Sessions! Besides, Scott says we'll just be working outside instead."

"And thank you John for that heartfelt comparison… but he's right," Rogue agreed, making a face at his Bobby comparison. I didn't really understand it but everyone else seemed mildly amused. Why couldn't Bobby get any action? "The DR can be fun but there's only a few people who get upset when it's cancelled."

"You take everything way too seriously," John sniggered. "Lighten up, Princess."

I shot him a look and sighed. I must have looked completely horrified for even John to comfort me – if that was supposed to be comforting. To be honest, I'm not a hundred percent sure what that was. But when I looked around the room, nobody was looking at me with hatred – well, Jay was but that was for other reasons – and nobody looked all that bothered by the news.

I was snapped out of my analysis by John poking my cheek with his finger. "Your face looks different."

I didn't answer him back. I just smiled as I bit into an apple.

 **A/N: This probably won't be mentioned anywhere so I decided to just write it here so you all knew. Along with the healing, Violet also has a high tolerance of pain. She still feels it, but it's not as intense as how a normal person would feel it. That's why she wasn't like screaming out in agony when her leg broke or when she was shot.**

 **That's not another power, by the way, it's just like another factor onto the healing power. It'll probably make a bigger impact in the later chapters.**


	5. The Boy Who Cried Wolf

_You stopped by my house the night you escaped.  
With tears in my eyes,  
I begged you to stay.  
You said, "Hey man, I love you but no fucking way."_

-Twin Size Mattress, The Front Bottoms

Biology was not my forte.

Hell, _school_ was not my forte. But bio especially. Granted, Storm – or Miss. Munroe, as she liked to be called during class – made it a little more fun than my old teachers back in Canada did.

We were divided into groups and each group had to put together a maze with a little bit of peanut butter at the end. After the maze was done, we were supposed to put a mouse in it and then time how long it took the mouse to get through.

But right now, I was sitting back with another mutant, Jubilee, until the maze got put together. The other two people in my group were Jay (Hip-hip-hooray) and some kid named Calvin. Jay and Calvin decided to be 'men' and put together the maze but were failing horribly at it.

Even if I wanted to help, I was too exhausted to. Nori and I were up all last night watching _The Shining_ and _Pet Sematary_. At about three in the morning, Nori had the bright idea to prank call some of the younger girls and scream, "Redrum, redrum, redrum!" into the phone until they started crying.

On my way to biology this morning, I passed one of the girls having a mental breakdown in the hall because she had finally figured out that 'redrum' was 'murder' backwards and she thought she was going to die.

Admittedly we could have picked our targets a little better because shortly after the ground started shaking and Jean spent ten minutes trying to convince the girl that no one was trying to murder her. See, this is the problem of going to a mutant school; one prank gone wrong could equal certain death because it was impossible to learn everyone's powers and which ones are too dangerous to mess with.

Either way it was a fun night and Nori and I woke up surrounded by junk food and a pillow fort.

"No, it's supposed to go here!" Jay argued, wiggling a piece into place. The maze came in a box like a big puzzle. It honestly didn't look that difficult but the boys refused to let us try. Well, Jubilee was allowed to help a little but let's be real here: I wasn't good at school and I was constantly getting myself hurt. They wouldn't let _me_ try. "You messed it up, Cal."

"I'm following the instructions!" Calvin argued. "Just let me read it before you try building it."

"Maybe if you let us help?" Jubilee started and Calvin rolled his eyes. The girl snorted and muttered, "Typical," under her breath.

I sat back in my chair with a sigh, looking around the room. Literally every other group had managed to put their maze together, other than ours. Calvin and Jay only got about four pieces in before getting confused.

"You're reading it wrong, Calvin!" Jay argued and the other boy shot him a look.

"Okay genius, why don't you tell me another way to read it?" Calvin shot back.

"The right way!"

Calvin didn't answer with words, he just shot a bright colored plasma-bolt at Jay, burning a hole in his jacket. Jay jumped back, shooting daggers at Calvin. Jubilee rolled her eyes.

" _Boys_ ," she breathed and shook her head. She then turned to me. "Calvin can mimic other mutant's powers and he just took my plasma-bolts. Once he took Scott's power and blasted a hole in the wall. We're just lucky he hasn't managed to get at the Professor's telepathy yet."

I laughed along but on the inside, I felt a shiver go up my spine. If Calvin could mimic other's powers, then didn't that mean he could mimic Apex?

I tried to shove the thought out of my mind as I leaned forward onto my forearms and placed my chin on my hands. The cage with a mouse in was directly in front of me and I was so bored, I started to watch the mouse run on its wheel.

The thing was so stupid; it'd run so fast that when it stopped, it would get carried around with the wheel again. It was pretty funny to watch, honestly.

But my amusement ended when the mouse skittered off the wheel and over to the edge of the cage to munch on some seeds. Its tail hung out of the side of the cage, barely touching the surface of the lab table.

I don't know what I was thinking when I reached over and lightly grabbed the mouse's tail. The thing squeaked and bolted to the other side of the cage, letting its tail hang out again. I giggled softly, grabbing its tail with my other hand and watched as it ran again.

It became almost a game of me lightly tugging on its tail. I know, it's weird but I was bored and I didn't notice the predator instincts start to race through my veins.

I grasped its tail again, but this time I didn't let go. I just held on as it scrambled to get away.

' _Kill. Kill it!_ ' something inside of me screamed. Grinning slightly, I yanked on the mouse's tail, slamming it into the side of the cage as it let out a loud screech.

The second the loud squeak reached my ears, I dropped it and sat back in shock, only realizing then that I could feel Apex's presence in my blood.

Calvin, Jay, and Jubilee all turned to look at me and I just offered a weak shrug. "I think our mouse is defective."

"Right…" Jay muttered, looking at me like I was a psycho. To be honest, I felt a little like one in that moment. I only realized how utterly weird my 'game' was until it was over. "Pass the cage."

I slid the cage closer to the annoying boy, avoiding eye contact. I wasn't sure if my eyes were golden and even though it didn't feel like it, I didn't want to risk it.

I stood, grabbing my text book and started to walk closer to the maze so I could watch as the rodent found its way out. I stood between Calvin and Jubilee (keeping away from Jay for obvious reasons) as they set the cage up at the entrance to the maze.

Jay opened the mouse door and the mouse took a few steps out, glancing around quick before scuttling around the corner. My heart was still beating rapidly and Apex was still whispering for me to kill the thing. But I had dealt with Apex my entire life, I was sure I could handle this. What I didn't notice though was Calvin start to twitch slightly, his pupils shrinking as he inhaled the scent of the mouse. He had missed breakfast and dinner because he had been exhausted from the Danger Room Session and had fallen asleep, and now that he was awake, he was _starving_.

Jay, Jubilee, and I simultaneously looked up when we heard a growl coming from Calvin's throat. His eyes were sharp as he watched the mouse dart through the maze, coming to a dead end before turning around.

Calvin's hands tightened around the maze walls, his knuckled turning white. None of us were even watching the mouse by now, we were so fixated on Calvin's bizarre behavior. Only when I saw that his teeth looked sharper than usual did it finally click in my head what was happening.

"Calvin," I said lightly. When he heard his name, his eyes rolled back for a few seconds before returning to normal; the animal hunger left his features and his hold on the maze walls loosened. I was staring at him with unease, trying to control my racing heart in case either of us were to go into full-on Apex mode.

Calvin blinked a few times before looking at me, his eyes slightly horrified at what he had just felt. At first, all I could see in his eyes was disgust, and then… sympathy?

"Uh, what's going on here?" Jay interrupted, glancing between the two of us. Under his breath he muttered, "Why is everyone in our group such _freaks_?"

"Don't use that word," Jubilee chastised softly. "You know how most mutants feel about that word." Jay just rolled his eyes. My teeth clenched together, remembering the many times people in my old school had called me a freak. I _loathed_ the word.

But since I had already made enough of a scene in that class, I didn't say anything. Sometimes I wonder if my bullying wouldn't have been so severe if I hadn't acted so violently that day in elementary school. I didn't want to cause a scene here and have the same thing happen again.

"Oh look, our mouse made it to the end!" Jubilee squeaked, thankfully ending the awkward moment. "Calvin, how long did it take?"

We glanced at Calvin again, who looked stunned. "What?"

"The timer Cal. We were supposed to time how long the mouse took to complete the course," Jay said through gritted teeth. Sheepishly, Calving pointed to the timer that was laying nearby, untouched. Jay groaned loudly, rolling his eyes at the both of us.

"Honestly, what is wrong with you two? You're both acting like fr-"

" _Violet, will you please see me in my office_?"

I let out a short shriek as the Professor's thoughts invaded my mind and the book slipped from my hand, landing on the ground with a _thud_. Simultaneously, everyone twisted around to stare at me as my face turned a deep shade of red.

Jay's eyes just narrowed more as if to say, ' _I rest my case_.'

Dropping to my knees, I started collecting my fallen papers and text book as the class sniggered at me. John was laughing obnoxiously loud and I shot him a little glare. ' _Will you shut up for once?_ '

"Think of something scary, Princess?" John teased and my jaw clenched.

"Just not used to telepaths speaking to me at random parts of the day," I shot back and a few people chuckled with understanding. One girl even turned completely red as a few people turned to laugh at her. I guess she must have had a particularly bad experience with voices in her head.

" _Sorry about that."_ The Professor's mind raided my thoughts and once again, the books fell and I let out a quick scream. The class burst into another fit of giggles as I rushed to pick up my books and leave the room.

I could hear Jay mutter something under his breath but I didn't pick up the words, thankfully. Storm nodded in acknowledgment at me as I left the room, understanding that I was going to the Professor's office.

Once I was out of the room, I let out a deep sigh. The one thing I hated most was being embarrassed in front of large groups of people; even worse was getting embarrassed in front of my friends.

Granted, I didn't really care if I was humiliated in front of John because he was well… John. The kid has already seen me nearly die twice. Bobby always gave me that sympathetic look like ' _Wow, I feel bad for this girl. She's always humiliating herself_.' And then Rogue was a different story. She was all mysterious but seemed like a nice enough girl. I knew that if I got to know her, we'd be friends.

I just had to stop humiliating myself.

I started walking towards the Professors office when I heard a voice that said, " _You're going the wrong way."_ Ignoring the weird stares I got from a couple walking down the hallway, I pivoted and started walking in the opposite direction.

"So what do you think you're in trouble for?"

"STOP!" I shrieked and for the third time in the past ten minutes, my books scattered across the floor. Scowling, I dropped to my knees and started picking up the papers while John chuckled as he leaned against the wall. "Was that necessary?"

"Necessary? No. Worth it? Completely," John smirked. He kicked a pencil towards me and I picked it up before it rolled to a stop. "Why're you so jumpy anyway?"

"Because people like you keep scaring me," I responded and pulled myself to my feet. "Why are you out here, anyway?"

"What, don't you like my company?" he teased and I responded by deepening my scowl. "Oh calm down, I told Storm I needed to go to the washroom so I could walk you to Professor Wheel's office. Needed to get out of that dump for a few minutes anyway."

"Happy to help," I deadpanned and he shot me a sarcastic smile.

"You know, you're not exactly the sunniest person, are you?" John commented and I shrugged.

"Maybe there's a reason for that," I pointed out. "Maybe it's because I've had two near-death experiences in one week, maybe it's because I already got an enemy who is out for my blood, or maybe it's because some leather-obsessed creep has been following me around."

"I rest my case," John replied with a smug grin. "You know, you aren't a princess anymore, you're more like… the Wicked Witch of the North."

"Why the North?" I asked, wrinkling my nose. He rolled his eyes at me like I was stupid.

"Because you're from _Canada_." He was slowly spelling out each syllable and I couldn't help but ram my shoulder into his chest. "Ah, so you're a feisty one. Whatever I just – Hold up!"

"What?" I asked, looking around nervously. He had on a complete poker face and he looked like he was in the middle of figuring out some unsolved mystery.

"I think I just came up with a new nickname!" he announced and I rolled my eyes with a scoff. "…Violent Violet."

My entire body tensed up when the two words left his mouth. Immediately, a rush of memories was sent flying back to me.

" _Violet, what the hell is wrong with you?" Clyde screamed, clutching his bleeding nose. There was no doubt in my mind that it was broken. My power seemed to flare up just as my fist connected with his face._

" _Why are you always so violent?"_

 _Rose's face lit up from the spot where she was leaning against Randy's shoulder. The group had called me over just to tease me and they were acting like the victims when someone got hurt. "Violent Violet!"_

 _Gunner let out a loud laugh as my face burned red. "Violent Violet… That's perfect!"_

" _She sounds like she could be an act in a freak show," Hugh sniggered and my glare hardened. He stood up and in an announcer's voice, yelled out, "Now presenting, the cruelest, the freakiest, and the most fucked-up thing you've ever witnessed… Violent Violet!"_

" _Hugh, cut it out," I hissed. "I'm you sister, for Christ's sake."_

" _Cut what out, freak?" Hugh sneered, shoving me back slightly. I barely budged._

" _If someone cut off your ugly face, that'd be real nice," Clyde laughed and he fist-bumped my brother. I looked in between the two, not believing what I was hearing. One of Clyde's hands was still clutching his nose and the other was doing some secret handshake thing with Hugh._

 _God, they had such a huge bromance, I wasn't even sure if they were just friends or actually in love._

" _Hugh, I'm your twin. If my face is ugly, yours is too." The only nice one, Randy, covered his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing. His girlfriend, Rose – who was clearly cheating on him with my brother – shot him a nasty look and he quieted down._

" _Go away, freak," Rose spat. She pulled a piece of ham out of her sandwich and whipped it at me, barely missing by an inch. "Violent Violet!"_

"Uh, hello?" I snapped back to reality to see John's hand waving in front of my face. "Violent Violet?"

"Do _not_ call me that!" I snarled and John flinched back. I was doing everything I could to fight the wolf from coming out but I could feel the anger start to bubble in my blood.

"Okay, sheesh!" John held up his hands in defense. "I'll think of a better name! Once I figure out what your power is, I'll even come up with a codename for you!"

I could feel the power start to ebb away as we walked. I let out a deep breath as if to expel it from my body before answering.

"Why would I need a codename?" I asked blandly as we turned a corner. We had already passed by the Professor's office a few times but for some reason, I was putting off the visit.

"Why wouldn't you need one? You have superpowers now, Vi. You have to come up with a kick ass codename to go with it," he responded enthusiastically.

"'Kay, well then what's yours?" I asked and he smirked.

"Oh no, I'm not telling you. If I did, you'd be able to guess my power and then my entire leverage would go down the drain. I'm banking on you being curious enough to finally tell me your power," he responded and I just rolled my eyes. "So what is it?"

"None of your concern," I answered easily.

"Fine, I'll just have to guess then," he replied. "So I know it's not strength or fast reflexes so it's got to be… invincibility?"

I frowned. "John, you already knew that."

He deflated. "Oh… right. Well what about… what about one of those really complex powers where you can like turn sadness into strength? It'd explain why you're always so miserable."

"Um, no." I shot him a weird look. "And I am not miserable! Just because I'm not bouncing off the walls in enthusiasm doesn't mean I'm miserable."

"Yeah, but you rarely smile, except when you're with your _best friend_ Nori. You always seem so glum," he commented. "You're like Little Sad Crying Hood. Except when you're with _Nori_ of course, then you're all gumdrops and lollipops."

"She's my friend, John, not the center of my universe. Besides, I think I'm only slightly happier around her because she doesn't harass me on a daily basis." I snorted. "Besides, calling me Little Sad Crying Hood is irrelevant because you've never seen me cry."

"You're probably crying on the inside," he muttered with a shrug. "But seriously, what is it? Can you control metal or something? That's how you stopped Pete from beating the shit out of you?"

"If I could control metal, I would have been able to reach the ladder," I pointed out, reminding him of my failed attempts to reach the _metal_ fire escape and save the hostages.

"Why can't you just tell me?" John whined as I picked up the pace. I really didn't want to be having this conversation with him right now. I didn't want anyone to make the connections between the 'animal attack' on my family and my powers.

Thankfully, with the television out of commission, not a lot of people were watching the news.

"I already told you why," I snapped. "If you ever get to see my power, I guarantee that you'll think I'm a monster. And when that day comes, all I'm going to say is 'told you so.'"

" _Or_ you could just tell me now and save all the drama," he joked and I rolled my eyes. Thankfully, we reached the Professor's office.

"Sorry, I have to talk to the Professor." Those were the last words I said before I disappeared into the Professor's office and slammed the door in John's face. The Professor glanced up at me when I walked in with amusement shining in his blue eyes.

"I realize it must be hard to find your way as a new student, Violet, but I don't think it'd ever take ten minutes to find my office. Especially since it's only two doors from your last class," he chuckled and my face turned red. "I'm happy you're making friends though."

"Uh, yeah," I responded slowly. I knew Nori was a friend but I was just polite acquaintances with everyone else. Maybe not so polite with John. "I guess so."

I sat down in the chair opposite from him and set my books on his desk. When I looked at him, his gaze held a serious glint and I felt my gut drop.

"I called you in to talk about your mutation, Violet," the Professor said and I froze. "I know you have your own reasons for not wanting to display them but the fact of the matter is that we can't help you control them if we don't know what they are."

I stayed silent and he sighed.

"Violet, I know how you feel. You're scared and you don't think you'll ever be able to control them but I can assure you that every mutant feels that at least once in their lives. Whether you want your powers or not, you're stuck with them and the best thing to do is learn how to control them so you don't risk harming others."

"It's not that simple…" I trailed off. Images of my mother's ripped throat flashed in my mind and I shuddered. When I looked back at the Professor, something in his eyes told me he had seen exactly what I had just thought. Maybe not on purpose, but he had seen.

"Something happened, didn't it?" the Professor guessed and my eyes shot to his. "Violet, did you kill your mother?"

I stared at him for a long moment before I abruptly stood up, letting the chair fall to the ground as I started backing away. "I have to go!"

"Violet," the Professor tried but I was already making my way to the door. "You can't keep running forever."

I could feel the venom sinking into my veins as my eyes started to burn. I tried blinking it back but I was working myself up too much. I grabbed the doorknob and tried jiggling it but it was locked.

"Violet-"

"No!" I yelled, slamming my hands on the door. There was a loud crack as the hinges snapped and clattered on the ground. All at once, the door started tipping and slammed against the floor. I stared at it for a long time before slowly looking up.

There were a few people standing in the hall who were gaping at me but I quickly ducked my head and ran. When I turned the corner, I slowed to a brisk walk. I was heading straight to my room and I didn't want to leave it for the next year.

"Violet?" I looked up to see John standing in front of me. I didn't stop walking, I just brushed past him, clenching my fists and trying to not scream. I could feel the venom bubbling inside of me and if I said anything, I wouldn't be able to stop it from taking complete control. "Hey, what the hell?"

I kept on walking until he grabbed my shoulder and whipped me around. "Violet!"

"Don't touch me!" I meant it as a warning but it came out harsh. John stepped back, holding his hands up in defense. The scowl on his face showed he had taken it wrong.

"Jesus Violet!" he snapped. "Calm the fuck down, I just touched you! One second you're fine and the next you're trying to bite my head off. What's wrong with you?"

"Just get away from me, John." My fingernails were starting already turning into claws and I could feel my teeth start to sharpen. My fists were squeezed so tight that they were starting to draw blood from my nails digging into the palms of my hands. "I'm warning you."

John sneered, "You're warning me? What're you going to do? You can't even protect yourself."

I didn't say anything, knowing I would transform if I did. Instead, I just glared at him and fought the venom. John took it as a sign of weakness and scoffed. "That's what I thought. You can be a bitch all you want until someone stands up to you and then you turn into a coward."

John turned and stormed away. I didn't wait to bolt to my room and slam the door. Thankfully, Nori wasn't there so she couldn't be on the receiving end of my anger.

I started pacing around the room, trying to count to ten and calm myself. But the more I thought about what just happened, the angrier I got. ' _How dare the Professor pressure me like that! Why would he ask me something like that? And John, the nerve of that idiot!_ '

I needed to destroy something.

I knew I would burst if I didn't let the beast sink its teeth into something but if I let it do that, it meant I let it win. And I couldn't let that happen or I'd never get control of this curse.

I picked a pillow off my bed and sank my sharp teeth into it, feeling the fabric tear. I dug my bloody claws into it and couldn't help but rip it slightly. But that's the furthest I allowed myself to go; if I did anything else, chances were the entire room would get trashed.

After about twenty minutes of staying in that position, I was finally calm enough to pull away and drop the pillow on the ground. It was covered in blood and had feathers sticking out of it but at least it wasn't a person. I still didn't feel satisfied and I knew Apex wasn't either. He wanted _blood_ , not feathers from a pillow.

As I wrapped my hands with gauze, I couldn't help but laugh bitterly. I was acting like Apex was a person or something, not part of me. Not only that, but I was referring to it as a 'he.' I'm pretty sure that's how multiple personalities bloom. I was snapped out of my thoughts though as the doorknob jiggled, turning and opening to reveal a teen with vibrant blue hair. When she saw my bleeding hand, she immediately looked concerned.

"Hey, what happened to your hand?" Nori asked as she stepped into the room.

"Uh, I fell. Yeah, I just scraped them a bit when I fell," I lied. I felt bad for it but I wasn't about to tell her the truth. It wasn't that I didn't trust her or anything, I just wasn't ready yet.

"Vi, are you okay?" Nori questioned apprehensively. "You look really rattled and kind of angry."

"I'm fine, I just… I got in a fight with John and he set me off," I shrugged and a look of understanding passed over Nori's face.

"Yeah, he looked really angry when I talked to him. What happened?" She settled down on her bed and patted the spot next to her so I could sit. I explained it all – leaving out the bit about knocking down the Professor's door – and just told her that I almost lost control and when I tried to get John to back off so I didn't hurt him, he took it wrong.

"Of course he said that," Nori sighed, rolling her eyes. "Trust me when I say he didn't mean it personally. He's just hot-headed and will get over it by tomorrow. That's John for you."

"I guess," I muttered with a shrug. "I'm just having a bad day. I hate not having control…"

Nori frowned for a moment before lifting up her hands to show me her metal gloves. "These help me control my power. I absorb electricity from everything... static, appliances, lights… everything. I can't control it so I wear these gloves to help regulate it."

I stared at her, waiting for her to explain her point.

"I have to release some of the electricity daily or there will be a buildup and I could seriously harm someone," she explained. I blinked at her, not knowing what to say. "From what I've heard, you've been bottling your power up your entire life. I don't know what your mutation is but someday, your power is going to get control of you and you won't be able to do anything to stop it."

"Nori, you don't understand," I growled. "I can't just let myself free in public or I'll… I'll hurt someone!"

"You're hurting yourself," Nori muttered and stood up. I followed her gaze to the bloody pillow on the ground. A few minutes ago, I had considered it a success because it wasn't a person, but looking back at it, the thing was absolutely destroyed. That wasn't control.

"Nori, I get that you're curious and you think I need to release my power or something, but I _can't_ ," I stressed. "I am _terrified_ of my abilities. If I let it out, I'll kill someone."

…again.

There was a long pause where neither of us said anything, we just stood there, letting the words sink in. I understood that Nori must be frustrated with me but she didn't understand what would happen if I released the beast. What has already happened.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked after a moment, looking her straight in the eye. She brushed a strand of blue hair behind her ear and shrugged.

"No, I'm just worried. What you're doing isn't healthy…" she trailed off, shaking her head. "I'm going for lunch now. I'll try and explain to John that it wasn't anything personal but maybe you should come down yourself and talk to him. John's a hothead but he's not as irrational as everyone thinks. Usually he gets over arguments within a day... or minutes. He and Bobby argue _constantly_."

"Yeah, I will." I managed a small smile at my friend as I watched her walk away. Once she was gone, I sighed and fell back on the bed.

This day just sucked.

"Can't get much worse," I finally said aloud and sat back up. I tossed the mutilated pillow into the garbage and fixed my bandages one last time before deciding to head down. I dreaded seeing John and even Nori but I knew it would just be worse if I didn't go down at all.

Taking a deep breath, I started down the hall, looking at the ground as I walked. I didn't want any witnesses of the 'door incident' to see me and start more problems for me. The day already sucked enough, I didn't need to add more on my plate.

But maybe if I had been looking up, I would have seen the boy with the grin of his face and the wings on his back coming directly at me.

SLAM!

My entire body was sent flying into the wall and my head cracked against it. I slid to the ground, cradling my aching head in my hands and cringing as I felt a stream of blood trickle down my forehead. The world tilted as Jay's face appeared in view. "Aw, does Violet have a booboo?" he sneered and I could only blink to make the world stop spinning.

"You don't belong here," Jay snarled, crouching down into view. "You don't show your powers, you ruin DR Sessions and you only waste space. In here… you're a freak."

Freak.

Xavier's Institute was supposed to be my safe haven. The place I could go to escape people calling me _that word_. But now, just like in high school, I'm sitting on the ground, picking up my books and being called a freak. ' _No more_.'

The hallway stopped spinning as my eyes focused on Jay. At first, I just stared at him, letting my anger grow. He had this stupid smirk on his face like he had put me in my place and had taught me my lesson. His smirk didn't falter until I split into a wide grin that stretched from ear to ear. I didn't even bother fighting my power from taking control.

"You know, wolves don't usually eat birds but I think I'll make an exception," I sang as his face screwed up with confusion.

"What's that supposed to…" he trailed off when he saw my eyes start to glow gold and my hair turn black. "Shit…"

Jay fell back, scrambling away as I transformed. " _ **Shit**_!"

Fur sprouted from my skin, tearing rips into my clothes. My teeth sharpened into daggers and my nails into dangerous claws. At the last second before I changed completely, I growled to Jay, "I'd run if I were you."

Jay scrambled back, twisting onto his hands and knees before pushing himself clumsily off the floor. He took off sprinting as I fell onto four strong paws and let my head fall back as a chilling howl echoed down the halls. My eyes caught on a girl with her back pressed against the walls and green eyes widened in terror but I had set my sights on something higher: the boy with wings.

I launched myself after him as he screamed, sprinting down the hallway and turning a corner. I slid on the slippery floor, slamming into an antique vase and making it shatter on the ground. I sprang off the splintered pieces and the chase really began.

' _Here birdy, birdy, birdy! I just want to play.'_

The words rang in my head as I sprinted after the boy. By now, he wasn't even running, he was flying down the narrow halls. My strong hind legs pushed off the floor as I launched myself at him, but taking a mouth-full of cloth instead of flesh.

The boy let out a shriek as we tumbled to the ground, rolling down the hall to a stop. Saliva sprayed onto his face as I towered over him, panting with an unbelievable hunger. The fear in his eyes only made me hungrier as I leaned down to make my kill and drag him off to feed. But before my jaws could clamp around his throat, red wings slammed into my face, sending me flying back in a wall.

I slammed into the wall, hitting my face and bruising my side before I fell to the ground. I let out a short yelp, pawing at my bleeding nose as the bird scrambled to his feet and ran. "HELP ME! HELP!"

With a snarl, I sprang after him with a new anger coursing through my veins. I could smell the fear coming off him in waves, even though I was far behind him. The smell made my mouth water and the image of me tearing into his body wasn't helping.

"SHE'S TRYING TO EAT ME!" the boy screamed as he crashed into a room. Seconds later, I jumped into the crowded room and after the bird. Screams erupted around me as I took in the horror stricken faces of the humans. They were scrambling to get away from me, yelling for someone to get 'The Professor.'

The boy with wings shot into the air and I crouched, pushing off the ground and into the air. My jaws clamped on one of his wings and a blood-curdling scream filled the room as I dragged him to the ground. He slammed into the ground and I pounced, snapping my jaws uncontrollably at him. His hands held the sides of my heads, using all his strength to hold me back. I swung my head out of his grips and snapped at his hand, relishing in the scream that erupted from his mouth.

I released his hand, setting my sights on his throat as a growl vibrated in my throat. He tried to push himself back but his bleeding and shaking hand was making it hard to get a grip on the floor. Just as I was about to take a bite out of his neck, something rammed into my side, sending me rolling off of him. I scrambled to my feet and snarled at my attackers.

There was a group of filthy humans; the one coated in metal was the one who knocked me off my prey and the one I would kill first. Snarling, I charged at the scrap metal and sprang onto his chest. My teeth clanked against his metal surface and not a second later, he picked me up and threw me across the room like I was nothing more than a limp piece of prey for the pups to play with.

"Rogue, get Jay out of here and get the Professor!" a boy with frozen eyes yelled. Another girl nodded curtly and made a run for the bird, who was still crying in the center of the room. When I noticed she was trying to take my prey from me, I bared my teeth at her.

' _Thief! Kill, kill, kill_!'

I leapt at the girl but a sudden wall of ice formed in front of us, sending me crashing into it instead of saving my meal from the thief. The ice cracked as I hit it, but didn't shatter.

"John, trap it!" a girl with wild blue hair screamed at another boy. "I'll knock it out but I can't get a good aim! It's too fast!"

I made another run for the bird and this time, four walls of fire surrounded me, trapping me in the middle. I ducked at the sudden heat, letting my tail fall between my legs. I spun around, looking for an escape but there was nowhere to go. One of the walls shrank as the girl with blue hair appeared, holding out a metal hand.

Sparks were coming from the metal and a blue ball of electricity was forming, getting ready to shock me. Her dark eyes were staring into my golden ones and just when she was about to blast me, her gaze dropped to my front paws. They had torn bandages over them.

The girl paled and the electricity fizzled out. "Violet?"

I took the pause to leap at the girl, knocking her to the ground and letting my teeth clamp on her metal hand, crushing it and causing sparks to fly. The sparks hit my fur and burned my skin but I refused to let go. Pieces broke off under my powerful jaws as she tried to rip her hand away.

"Don't hurt her!" the girl screamed, waving violently at the people surrounding us. "It's Violet!"

With her free hand, she tried shoving me away and only managed to loosen my grip on her. She scrambled away, holding her hands in front of her face as she stared me straight in the eyes with a pleading look. "Vi, don't you remember me? It's Nori… your friend." I held my head low, a snarl emitting from my throat as I inched forward.

The growl died in my throat as I stared at her for a long moment. Relief flooded her features as one of her arms slowly started to reach out to me, touching my head and petting my fur back. My gaze with her never broke as a smile broke her face. "I knew you would remem-"

I cut her off by sinking my teeth into her throat.

All of the sudden, my body was ripped away from the girl's and slammed into the wall. I fell to the ground with a cry of pain. Both sides of my ribs were shattered; one side from hitting the wall so hard, the other from being blasted with a beam of red light.

" _Violet, calm yourself_ ," a male's voice entered my mind. Two new people had entered the room; one was a bald man in a wheelchair with two fingers pressed to his temple, and the other was a young man preparing himself to rip his glasses off his glowing red eyes.

I half whimpered/half growled as I struggled to get to my feet. I refused to go down without a fight.

" _Violet, listen to me_ ," the voice said. " _Separate yourself from the wolf! Don't let it control you._ "

' _Invader! Kill, kill, kill_!' I thought as I bared my teeth at the men. I tried lunging at them but cut off in a pained howl as I crumpled to the floor again. I tried again with the same results.

" _This isn't you, Violet. This is a beast taking hold of your mind. You're stronger than it! Don't forget who you are_!" the voice screamed and a series of images flashed in my mind.

The first was of two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the grass and throwing leaves at each other. The second was a slightly older girl, grinning as she played cards with her mother. The girl slammed her cards on the table with loud cheers and laughs. The final image was of the same brown-haired girl, this time appearing as a young woman with an enormous, black wolf, sitting by her side.

Violet.

Violet Hopkins.

Me.

I looked up at the man as a name flashed in my head: Professor Xavier. The other man was Scott. The boy I attacked was Jay and the girl was…

"Nori," I whimpered as the fur shrunk into my skin and my golden irises returned to green. "Help Nori…"

"She'll be okay," the Professor said. Scott slipped his hands under my back and carefully lifted me up. But no matter how careful he was, it couldn't stop the pain from shooting through my entire body. I grabbed a handful of his shirt with my bandaged fist as he started carrying me away.

As I passed by the other's I couldn't help but smirk slightly at their horrified expressions. Not because I was pleased with what I had done, but because I _knew_ they would react in horror when they found out about Apex. I was right.

Bobby took a step back when I passed, his hand resting on Rogue's shoulder as he did. Her face was white and the blood splatters covering it looked like red freckles. Jubilee had tear stains down her face and Kitty was huddling behind Bobby, not meeting my eyes. Calvin looked mildly shocked, but out of everyone, had the most understanding look on his face. He nodded at me in acknowledgment when I passed before looking down.

And finally, I reached John.

His face was a few shades paler than usual and his jaw was parted as he stared at me. I broke into a grin when my eyes met his and a bitter laugh escaped my lips.

As I passed John, I whispered three simple words in his ear:

"Told you so."

 **A/N: Aaaaand Apex has been revealed. I believe this is the longest chapter I've written so far but there was quite a bit to happen... which was your favorite part? :)I know that quite a few of the characters in Apex Predator - Nori, Jay, Calvin - are never seen in the movies, so I'm just curious as to what you think of them.**


	6. Secrets are Mistakes for Liars

_We all flirt with the tiniest notion,  
of self-conclusion in one simplified motion.  
See, the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it,  
no matter how unbearable this misery gets. _

-Self-Conclusion, The Spill Canvas

"Violet, I understand that you're worried about Nori but there are other issues that need to be discussed," the Professor said. I knew what he was saying and I understood where he was coming from but all I could think about was Nori. I almost killed her… she was my best friend and Apex intentionally tried to end her life. Even though I've brushed my teeth a million times, I could still taste the copper in my mouth.

"I just… I just want to see her," I whispered, looking up at him. It was two days after the 'incident' and my broken ribs have completely healed, along with my hands. But the only person I was allowed to see was the Professor and Scott, though he didn't say much and mostly stood in the back with his arms crossed.

I couldn't help but notice Scott's battle glasses on; the ones he wears in the Danger Room. I was a danger.

"She's still healing, Violet," the Professor said slowly. A frown tugged at my lips but I didn't say anything else. "We need to talk about your power."

I let out a short, bitter laugh. "What's there to talk about? I can turn into a wolf and I lose control."

"Is that the only thing you can turn into?" he asked and I nodded. "Have you ever tried turning into anything else? Say… a cat?"

I blinked once. "I don't exactly practice changing into different creatures. I don't want to transform… I just do."

"What triggered it?" the Professor asked with a slight frown as if he were figuring something out. "Mutations can be triggered by high stress or strong emotions. So what caused your mutation to come out?"

"Jay," I muttered quietly. I hated admitting to teachers that I was being bullied. It felt so pathetic; I was so weak I couldn't even stand up for myself. "He called me a freak."

"I see," the Professor hummed. "It doesn't take a telepath to tell that you don't want to talk about this anymore. If you let me read your mind I can get a deeper sense of your power and maybe help you control it."

I paused, remembering all the horrible things I've done. Hurting people… killing… and not to mention my pathetic life. But if this meant I might be able to tame this beast then I'd take it. "Okay… but just don't hate me after this."

"Just calm your mind," he said in a low whisper. The Professor moved around the table so he was sitting in front of me and we were staring into each other's eyes. He held up his hands so they hovered between my temples.

All at once, my memories started cycling through my mind like a movie reel.

" _What's the black ones name, Mama?"_

" _If anyone finds out about this, they will never accept you."_

" _Stupid freak!"_

" _Kill, kill, kill!"_

"Stop!" I yanked away from the Professor. My eyes were wide in horror and I expected him to have a disgusted look plastered on his face. Instead, he looked purely understanding. That was a first.

"From what I can tell, your powers, Apex, are purely instinctual. You transform into Apex when you feel threatened or in danger. The problem is that your mind is becoming separated from Apex; that's why you have trouble remembering who you are when you're transformed." The Professor continued, "This isn't the first time something like this has happened. It's actually more common than you think; sometimes power can simply grow too strong for one person." His blue eyes glazed over for a second before snapping back to reality. "But that's what Danger Room Sessions are for. The faster you learn to accept that you and Apex are the same, the faster you can learn to control it."

"So basically I'm forced to accept this whether I want it or not," I clarified. He nodded. "Great."

"That's not all I learned," he went on. I swear if I had a gun, I'd shoot myself just from those five words.

' _You've got to be kidding me_ ,' I thought bitterly.

"Your powers manifested at the zoo when you saw the black wolf for the first time. It's not a coincidence that your transformation and this wolf look nearly exactly the same."

' _No shit._ '

"I heard that, Violet." The Professor sent me a hard look. "The point is that you turn into the same wolf from the zoo because you felt some sort of connection with it. You were so captivated by the real Apex that you used that as a base for your transformation."

"I'm not following," I said.

"Every fibre of your being is meant to be a mutant. It's in your DNA. But feeling a connection isn't going to alter your DNA. You subconsciously _chose_ to be a black wolf with golden eyes. Meaning that your powers aren't limited to transforming into a black wolf."

"So, what? I can change into a white wolf too?" ' _How exciting!'_

"It means you can change into things other than wolves. I believe that you're so terrified of being a mutant that you're trapping these abilities inside of you and becoming the one thing that you've even somewhat accepted; a wolf. Even though you're terrified and have been locking the wolf inside all this time, it's all you've known and it's all you allow your powers to know."

All the pieces were starting to fall into place. It wasn't just a wolf that I had to worry about getting free… somewhere inside of me, bears, lions, and sharks are waiting for their chance to get loose. And at the first chance they see… they'll take over.

' _Maybe it's time I learn to control this._ '

"Those were my thoughts exactly," the Professor grinned. I shot him an annoyed look. "Sorry, you just think so loudly that the words just float into my mind."

"I think it's safe to say that's the first time I've been accused of thinking too loud," I muttered and the Professor chuckled. There was a pause before I asked, "So now that we've talked about my power, can I go see Nori?"

The Professor's smile fell and I felt my gut drop alongside it. "You have to understand that Nori is still healing, mentally and physically."

"Mentally," I repeated. Had I traumatized her that much?

"Just try to see it from her point of view. If she had lost control and hurt you, wouldn't you be the slightest bit apprehensive?" the Professor asked softly and I slowly nodded.

It made sense though. Our eyes had met, she had pleaded for me to remember and just when she thought I was back to being her best friend, I lunged. And it wasn't just a bite on the hand or a few scratches… I went for the jugular. If Scott hadn't been there to stop me from sinking my teeth in all the way… there's no doubt in my mind that Nori would be dead.

"When will she be ready to see me?" I asked quietly.

There was a long pause before the Professor said four words that answered none of my questions but all of my fears: "Just give her time."

"O-okay," I stuttered, standing up.

I avoided the Professor's sad eyes as I made my way to the door. I understood what he was saying but it still hurt.

You see, I've never had a best friend. Hugh, sure, but that lasted a solid six years before it fell apart. After that, my life has been made up of being the last person picked for dodgeball, talking to people who only tolerated me, and doing assignments alone when the teacher tells us to work with partners.

And then came Nori... she listened, she understood, and in the short time that I knew her, we became sister…and then I tried to rip out her throat.

I stepped into the crowded hallway and it was like everything suddenly stopped. Everyone turned and stared, whispers erupted and this time, I knew the reason for the whispers. My face immediately started to heat up as I ducked my head and started to my room.

"She tried to _eat_ Jay and Nori."

"I heard they're in comas."

"No wonder she came in covered in blood. I wonder who else she killed."

My heart was pumping but I was furiously trying to avoid another incident. Losing control once was understandable… I didn't know how the Professor would act if I went all Apex again. I picked up my speed, walking faster every time I heard my name until I was basically running through the halls.

Finally, I reached my room. The door was slightly ajar and I could hear someone moving things inside. All anxiety and worry died as a smile fell on my face. But I should have seen the signs when I was standing outside that door.

Firstly, Nori never leaves the door open. Not to mention the Professor said she was still healing and she wouldn't even be able to be in our room if she wanted to. And finally, I should have realized that there was more than one person in that room.

"Nori?" I called, pushing open the door the rest of the way. What I saw made me freeze.

Scott, Storm, and Colossus were standing around the room, all holding boxes. Scott was even peeling one of Nori's posters off the scorched walls when I stepped in. The room looked… empty.

The room was pretty much bare; everything on Nori's side of the room was either gone or getting put into a box. "What are you doing?" I asked numbly. I knew _exactly_ what they were doing, I was just hoping it wasn't true.

Scott and Storm shared a look before the white-haired woman slowly said, "Nori is moving into Kitty's room. She didn't want to be in any danger until you fully learn how to control your powers."

"Well will she be moving back?" I asked weakly. Once again, the two adults shared a look that seemed to say it all.

"Maybe," Storm offered. I knew that meant no.

Without warning, I whirled around and stormed out of the room. I wasn't angry, I just felt… betrayed. Nori was supposed to be my friend, she wasn't supposed to ditch me after I messed up once!

But I deserved this… I was the one to hurt her and betray her trust so maybe this was just coming back to bite me in the butt. All I knew was that I had lost the one friend I had and once again, I was alone. I came to Xavier's School because I was alone, scared, and dangerous. And I still feel all of those things.

Maybe this place wasn't for me. ' _I have to get out_.'

I started down the hallway, ready to leave without a trace. I was leaving this place and I had no plans on returning. I didn't even bother to grab my things – all I owned were things borrowed from Nori and Kitty. I didn't even know where I was going, I just had to get out.

Maybe I could go to New Orleans? Or Los Angeles? Maybe I could work as a stripper in Las Vegas… I just couldn't stay at the mansion after letting Apex attack two people. My mind was racing as I rushed down the hallway – I couldn't sort out faces and everything seemed like a blur. That is until I ran smack-dab into a wall.

And by wall, it was the scrawny hot-head who also went by John Allerdyce.

I fell to the ground, dazed and confused as I looked up at John. He had a wide grin on his face and Bobby was standing right behind him, looking more worried for me than anything. "There's the Big Bad Wolf! Eat any little pigs lately?"

Bobby sighed and rubbed his temples. "God dammit, John."

"No but I have a taste for idiots," I snapped back, pulling myself to my feet. John smirked and lightly punched Bobby's shoulder.

"Be careful, man. I think Violet's coming onto you," he laughed. This time, both of us groaned. "So Princess, where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"Uh… that way." I pointed down the hall and they both gave me blank looks. "Why's it matter?"

"We were just wondering how you were doing after the whole 'incident,'" Bobby said and I visibly flinched. Just remembering the screams and all the blood was enough to make me feel queasy but the fact that I caused it was sickening.

"I've been better," I muttered. "This is kind of why I didn't want anyone knowing about my mutation. I didn't want to be forced into giving them a 'sneak peak' and losing control."

"We've all been there," Bobby said as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Nobody is in full control of their powers when they first get here. I almost froze Scott a few times and John's burned the kitchen on multiple occasions."

John grinned at that, flicking his lighter open and closed a few times. "Was it on purpose or not? That you'll never know."

I laughed at that but I was starting to feel a little better. John went on, "Rogue nearly killed Logan, Logan stabbed Rogue, Nori has blown up about a dozen TV's since she's got here and even Scott blew a hole in the roof that one time. Not to mention that one time Kitty phased through the floor and we couldn't get her out."

Whether the two teen boys meant to cheer me up or not, it was working. Bobby was sniggering at some of them as if they were just funny moments in his ordinary life.

"A few Danger Room Sessions and you'll be running with the big dogs," John said, lightly punching me on the shoulder. He let out a short laugh, "No pun intended."

"Yeah that was hilarious John," I replied with a straight face. "You crack me up."

"So cynical," John hummed. "And such a low self-esteem too. One little slip-up and you're ready to run away."

My green eyes widened. "How did you know I was-"

"You've got runner written all over your face. We've seen your type around here. You come, you mess up, and then you leave, thinking you'll never be accepted anywhere and then the X-Men have to follow you to a train station and then Magneto will come and steal you to use for his mutant machine-"

"Knock it off John," Bobby interrupted, looking annoyed. I glanced between the two, not understanding what was happening but finding it amusing anyway. "The point is that nobody has control of their gift at first. This school was built to help mutants control their powers and the Professor knows what he's doing. Just give him some time to help you."

"Besides, your powers are kick ass," John added. "I don't know why you try to run from them."

"Because when I'm in that form, I tend to attack and try to kill my best friends," I said blandly. "What about that seems like fun to you?

"Yeah but everyone wants to kill Nori and Jay once in a while," John replied with a shrug. "Once you can control it you can do whatever the hell you want."

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. Admittedly, they were making me feel a little better about nearly killing two people but they still didn't get it. "Yeah but I still hurt them!"

"And you won't hurt anyone out there?" Bobby pointed out gently. "Staying here will make you less dangerous in the future. Leaving now will just make you hurt innocent people."

That was true.

The one redeeming quality this place had was that I hadn't killed anyone yet. If I went all Apex anywhere else, they wouldn't have been able to deal with it so well. I'd probably be behind bars now.

Finally, I sighed in defeat and rolled my eyes, as if I was annoyed that I was staying. "Fine, I'll stay but if anything else happens, I'm gone."

"Good enough for us," Bobby said with a grin and patted me on the back. John just smirked. I didn't know what it meant but I just pretended it was a smile.

"Now that this is over with, let's go to the rec room. God knows what show Jubilee is making everyone watch." As John said it, he was already walking down the hall. I shared a look with Bobby before jogging after him. "I swear, if I see one more episode of _Gilmore Girls_ , I'm going to set her on fire."

It was in that moment that I was hit with a feeling of acceptance, in the weirdest way possible. Since I got here, I thought Nori was my only friend but if Bobby and John didn't like me, they wouldn't have convinced me to stay. Maybe I did have friends…

But as I reached the rec room, my guard immediately flew up again. Everyone turned to gape at me as I walked in. My eyes hit the floor but I could feel my cheeks start to redden. I took a seat next to some girl on the couch and she instantly turned to me.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I blinked. "What?"

"Everyone knows what happened with Jay and Nori and we all want to know if you're okay," she explained. Why was she worried about me? I was the one who hurt everyone!

"Uh… yeah, I'm fine, thanks." The girl nodded and turned back to the television.

After a five minute long argument with Jubilee over the channel, John finally ripped the remote from her hands and changed it to some top ten show that counted down the top ten things happening this month. Right now, they were counting down the top ten celebrity embarrassing moments. I personally thought the show was gross and rude but everyone else thought it was awesome.

But when the next list came on, that's when things took a more serious turn.

" _In this episode, we're going to go down the Top Ten Mutant Attacks for January_ ," the young man on the TV announced. The room immediately quieted down as people stared at the television.

It was like watching a car crash; you knew you shouldn't watch it but no one could look away. This would only hurt us in the long run but curiosity was silently killing us. We needed to see that horrible list.

" _At number ten, we have a bar fight in New Orleans. What would have started as just an average fist fight took a turn for the worst when the man pulled out a deck of cards. You might ask why cards have anything to do with it."_

A fuzzy video popped up on the screen of some bar or sketchy casino where two people were having it out. One was wearing a hat and had his head down while the other guy was huge – he was built like a boulder

The one with the hat pulled out some cards and slowly looked up to reveal two reddish eyes. He whipped a card at the Boulder and the man went flying back, landing on a table and breaking it. Screams erupted in the bar and the person with the video started rushing away, barely catching more explosive cards being thrown.

" _It was confirmed that one of the men woke up in the hospital later that night. Not to mention the bar being shut down because of damage._ "

We all watched silently, not daring to say anything as we saw mutants cause buildings to collapse, buildings to go up in flames, and plow through groups of people like they were dominos. But when they reached number six, that's when the worst possible scenario came true.

" _At number six, we have two separate attacks, two different countries, and two days apart. The first attack takes place in Alberta, Canada when a mutant teen erupted in class, nearly killing a classmate and going home to slaughter her mother."_

"Oh fuck," I breathed quietly. Luckily, nobody heard.

" _Two days later, a group of five Anti-Mutant activists are found dead in a hotel room in Westchester New York."_ An image of my inn room flashed on the screen with blood splatters covering the room. " _In both scenarios, investigators found dog bites, ripping the victims apart. Identical black hairs were found at each scene and officials admit that these separate incidents are too similar to be a coincidence, but no one from either case has been arrested yet."_

I casually looked around the room to see if anyone was reacting. Instead of everyone staring at me with hatred, their eyes were glued on the television.

" _Officials say that three bullets were fired but they could only find one, meaning that this monster was shot twice. The only consolation is that there's one less murdering mutant to terrorize our streets_ ," the host finished.

Even as he talked about number five, I couldn't help but feel like my chest was about to implode. Sure, my name was never mentioned but I was still listed on some top ten show for being _evil_. After a few more murderous mutants were shown, I silently got up and started walking away. All I wanted to do was go to my room and scream. This day was too much for me to deal with.

I didn't realize someone had followed me until there was a hand on my shoulder. It was John.

' _Act normal, Violet,_ ' I told myself. "Yes John?"

"Remember that one time you stumbled into the mansion covered in blood and almost dead?" John asked. I searched his eyes for the usual amusement flickering in them like a flame but I saw none. ' _Oh God, he knows_.'

"Yes," I replied evenly. "Why?"

"Well it's funny because remember how you got shot twice? And then there's this other mutant running around who also happened to be shot twice and is also Canadian, and _also_ happens to turn into a giant black wolf and attacks people. What are the odds of that?" John asked. His eyes were boring into mine like he was staring into my soul.

I looked away, unable to meet his gaze. "Yeah, what are the odds?"

"So what, you decided to go on a rampage and kill your mother and five other people?" John snorted. Immediately, my eyes flashed yellow and my hair turned black. "Fantastic daughter you are."

"John this isn't funny," I snarled. "You better shut the hell up. This is something you have absolutely no idea about."

John's eyes narrowed. "What do I really need to know other than the fact that six people are dead because of you? All this time you've been playing the victim cards when in reality, you're the enemy. You're not some sad girl with problems controlling her powers, you're someone who goes around killing people because you can."

My eyes widened slightly before hardening again. "Don't ever talk to me again. You're disgusting John and this has nothing to do with you!"

"I think I deserve to know when a mass murderer goes to the same school as me," John scoffed. "And you should watch who you're calling disgusting, Violet. You're clearly not so perfect yourself."

My entire body was like a wall now – stone cold and hard. I was not giving in to John. "I told you to never talk to me, John." It was almost frightening how hollow my voice was. Suddenly, it wasn't so surprising that I had killed before.

John sneered, "Fine by me." With that, he whipped around and stormed away, with me watching from behind him. I stared at his back for a long moment before turning and slowly walking to my now empty room.

That was one more secret that no longer belonged to me.

[X]

The next morning after a restless, nightmare-filled sleep, I jogged outside to where my classmates were all waiting. Today was the Danger Room Session that didn't happen inside the Danger Room. It was pretty much just really intense gym class now. Storm had given me some gray leggings and a black tank top to wear since I still didn't have any of my own clothes.

Everyone was wearing something like me but not so… dull. ' _I really need my own clothes…_ '

I took a spot next to Rogue and Bobby and far away from John, who was standing on the other side of the group, scowling to himself. When our eyes met, his gaze darkened

Scott appeared, holding a large box in his hands. He set it down as he started talking. "As you all know, we'll be having our Danger Room Sessions out here while the Professor and Forge work on making the DR safer."

I could see everyone glance at me and I looked down. I still felt bad enough for the whole Jay-Nori-wolf incident and ruining Danger Room Sessions wasn't exactly making me feel any better.

Scott went on, thankfully taking the attention away from me. "Today, we're working on teamwork. You will be divided into two teams of five. The point of this Session is to work together to get the other team out."

Jubilee slowly raised her hand. "How do we get them out?"

Scott's face broke out into a grin as he pushed over the large box and a bunch of paintball guns fell out. Everyone immediately cheered and raced to the guns. Rogue tossed me one and it smacked me in the face. I scowled but held the paintball gun in my arms.

"Don't shoot anything yet and just let me explain. You'll have the time to injure people later," Scott chuckled. "Now, the rules are sim-"

 _Pop! Pop! Pop!_

Scott was interrupted by three paintballs leaving their gun and splattering against the ground. The crowd parted to reveal a short kid with sandy blonde hair and sheepish eyes. He kind of looked like a more mischievous version of Bobby.

"Luke, what did I _just_ say?" Scott sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Uh, don't shoot anything?" 'Luke' answered, rubbing the back of his neck. It came out like more of a question that anything.

"That's right," Scott replied. "I'll give you three guesses of what your punishment is."

Without even answering, Luke dropped to the ground and started doing push-ups. I just stared at the kid for a second before looking up at Rogue and Bobby. "Does this happen a lot or something?" I asked.

The couple sniggered and shared a glance. "You could say that," Rogue replied easily. "Luke has a problem with rules."

"There's a reason everyone calls him Flea," Bobby put in.

Luke, or _Flea_ , obviously heard what Bobby had said because he looked up from the ground and shot a glare at the older boy. That only made it all the funnier because while he was doing push-ups, we were bugging him. "That is _not_ the reason people call me Flea."

The amusement didn't last long because Luke finished with his push-ups, dusted himself off, and the Danger Room Session continued.

"As I was saying, the rules are simple. If everyone on your team gets out, you lose and the other team wins. Simple enough?" Scott asked and everyone nodded. "Good, because there's more."

"Each team has a flag. If you capture the other team's flag, any of your teammates who were tagged out are now back in the game. So just a word of advice, you might want to have a plan," Scott finished. "I'll number you off. If you're a one, head over to the yellow flag. If you're two, follow the path to where your pink flag will be. Any questions?"

"What if you accidentally shoot your teammate?" some kid asked and everyone sniggered.

"Then your teammate would be out. Friendly fire _does_ count," Scott answered and the kid sighed.

Scott started numbering off, one by one. He numbered me a two along with Bobby, Jubilee, Colossus, and… John. ' _Well isn't this fantastic_?' I thought bitterly to myself. Judging by the scathing look I received from John, he wasn't so ecstatic about the idea himself.

"Cool, we're definitely going to win this thing," Jubilee cheered, clapping her hands together. Colossus was the only one who could offer her a weak smile because John and I were locked in an angry stare-down and Bobby was trying to figure out what was going on.

Finally, Bobby groaned and slapped his palm to his face. "Seriously, you two had _another_ fight? You got along just fine yesterday!"

"Well that was yesterday," John spat in an icy tone. "And this is today. And today I just so happen to hate Violet."

"Oh trust me _darling_ , the feeling's mutual," I snarled. I didn't even know as the other team left and everyone was just waiting for me and John.

"Don't call me that!" John ordered and I instantly scoffed.

"But you can call me Princess, Sleeping Bloody, The Big Bad Wolf, or whatever else you're stupid mind comes up with? Yeah, that makes perfect sense," I snapped back. I could see the disappointed looks of the rest of my team out of the corner of my eyes but I refused to back down.

John started to yell, "Yeah, it _does_ make perfect sense, you-"

"Look, can we just go?" Bobby finally interrupted. "We won't win anything by standing here all day. Jeeze, you two are harder to keep up with than Quicksilver." The line would have been a lot more effective if I actually knew who Quicksilver was.

"Fine!" John and I spat at the same time. When the word left our mouths, we only glared harder at each other. Jubilee left out a short laugh but covered her mouth when she saw our expressions.

None of us made a move to leave until Colossus finally asked, "So are we going or..?"

"Yes!" John and I answered in unison again. My fists clenched and even Bobby was trying to stifle his laughter by now.

"Stop doing that!" John and I yelled at each other. I slapped John upside the head and he gave me a hard shove. A surge of venom raced through my veins but Apex didn't make himself present.

"Are you guys going to do this all day?" Jubilee cut in. I didn't know whether she was asking about saying everything at the same time as John or fighting with him, but either way, I yelled out:

"No!"

…at the same time as John.

Two hard shoves and a Colossus pulling us apart later, John and I were walking on opposite sides of the teams. We both kept our heads down and didn't utter another word in fear of it being in unison again. Besides, we were both too angry to say anything anyways.

The rest of the walk was in silence.

 **A/N: So Flea, or Luke, is actually not a character from the comics, but I didn't make him up either. In X2, you know that kid who Colossus passes the drawing of Bobby and Rogue to? That's Flea. After doing a lot of research, I found out that Flea was just an extra and Daniel Cudmore (Colossus) gave Flea that name because the actor, Luke Pohl, was a gymnast. I don't know, I just thought I'd share that with you :P I like giving personalities to minor characters. Next chapter is the actual paintball game! I just had to cut it in half or else this chapter would have been like... 10, 000 words.**

 **Anyway, so Apex Predator has been on the drawing board for a long time now – like a year – and the amount I have talked and dissected every little piece of this fic to my best friend, KatieK101, is ridiculous. Like, it literally takes us 5-7 PM's (8000 characters each) to reply to each other about AP. We've talked about John, Violet, their pasts, their powers… everything. And then one fateful day, Katie asked about Hugh, Clyde, Randy, Rose, Gunner, and Celia, or as we like to call them, the Hyde Squad. This, of course, spiralled into a ridiculous amount of brainstorming and making them way more in depth than they originally were supposed to be, or even** _ **NEED**_ **to be. To make a long story short, Katie got inspired and wrote a few one-shots about the Hyde Squad. If you like Katie's writing, you can find her in the reviews, or just by searching her (KatieK101) or her other account (KatieK102). SO without further ado, here is the first of many to come… I hope you enjoy and tell us what you think! This is a continuation off of the flashback from last chapter (all credit goes to Katie)**

 **Payback's a Blast by KatieK101**

"You know, Violent Violet really is the perfect name for her," Clyde grumbled as he wiped his nose with a napkin, and then glared at the blood it'd gathered. "I think she broke my nose!"

"She wouldn't have if you'd stop bullying her," Randy pointed out mildly. His comment earned him a jab in the ribs from Rose.

Gunner laughed. " _Bullying_? That's kinda extreme, Randy. We're just teasing her!"

Randy shot Gunner a weary glance. "I'd hate to find out what you consider bullying."

"Hey guys!" Celia exclaimed as she set her tray down on the table. "You won't believe what I-" she paused when she noticed Clyde still holding his nose, and the blood that had caught on his shirt sleeve. "What happened to you?"

"Violet broke his nose," I said, as I handed Clyde another napkin. "Just pulled back her fist and-" I made a popping sound with my mouth. "Broke it with one hit."

"She's strong!" Clyde exclaimed, frantic to save his masculinity. "I swear, she's lifting dumb bells or something when you're not in the room, Hugh."

 _Or she's a mutant,_ I couldn't help but think, and recalled how I'd shoved her and barely moved her. A scowl masked my features. _We have to do something about that…_

"-still pretty pathetic," Rose was saying. "I mean, the freak's built like a twig. Her arms look like chicken wings. She can't be _that_ strong."

"Maybe Clyde's just that weak," Gunner suggested with a grin, purposely trying to rile him up.

It worked.

"I am _not_ weak! I'm just-"

"Delicate?"

"Fragile?"

"Puny?"

" _Weak_?" Rose tried again.

Clyde huffed. "You guys are jerks."

It's a mostly true statement.

"Come on, Clyde," I said as I stood up. "I'll take you to the nurse. She can look at your nose. Maybe she'll even put a bandaid on your ego."

"Well," Clyde started as he followed me. "I do like band aids." Gunner sniggered and Clyde glanced back, brown eyes narrowed. A split second later and he was grinning wickedly, and before I could process what that could mean, Clyde picked up a roll from Celia's tray and threw it at Gunner. Gunner ducked instantly, however, and the roll flew over his head and hit Rose in the face.

"Clyde!"

"Crap," Clyde mumbled, grabbed my hand, and started pulling me towards the exit. I stumbled after him for a second before I realized where we were going, and then we were running through the hallway, away from the cafeteria. Clyde was laughing and I found myself doing the same.

"She's plotting your death now," I said as we slowed down.

He shrugged. "Eh, she's probably been doing that for awhile now." his expression turned thoughtful and I blinked. _Why does he look so serious?_ "What kind of band-aids do you think the nurse will have?"

I rolled my eyes. "Really?"

"What?" Clyde demanded. "It was a legitimate question!"

"You're more worried about your bruised ego than your broken nose."

Clyde scoffed. "It's just a broken nose, Hugh. Do you know how many times Kelly's broken my nose?"

I felt like someone had stabbed me in the gut, and was twisting the knife. "No… how many?"

The brunette shrugged casually, as if we were discussing the weather. "Eh, not that many times, actually. Only twice. But after the first two times it's really not that big of a deal."

"It is that big of a deal when it's your mother breaking it," I growled.

Clyde shot me an amused smirk. "Aw, Hugh, I didn't know you cared so much." he took my hand and placed on his chest. "I'm touched, really. My heart's sped up and everything."

"... your heart's on the other side of your chest, idiot."

"... I knew that."

I chuckled, depressing topics momentarily forgotten, when something caught my attention. "Hey, isn't that Violet's locker?" I asked, and gestured to one of the many lockers. The only difference between it and the others was the fact that it was cracked open.

Clyde's eyes brightened and a cruel grin replaced his smirk. "Dunno. Let's go find out."

We made our way over the the locker, opened its door, and lo and behold was Violet's backpack, textbooks, and gym clothes. "Jackpot," Clyde breathed. "Hugh, we have to do something with this."

"What?" I frowned. "Rig it? Spray paint it?"

He shook his head. "Not to her locker, to her stuff. But… we can use the spray paint idea later." For a moment Clyde was silent, and then he grinned once more. "I've got it! You know how the lunch ladies throw out all the leftover food at the end of the week?"

A wicked smirk played across my lips when I understood where he was going with this. "And how it's rotten and gross by the end of the week?"

"Come on!" Clyde exclaimed, already heading back towards the cafeteria. "We'll get the others; Gunner is going to _love_ this."

"Wait," I paused, and Clyde glanced back. "What about your nose?"

He rolled his eyes and before I knew why he was bringing his hand to his face, he'd pushed his nose back into place with a gross pop. I glared at him when he grinned and said, "See? No biggie."

"You mean you could have just done that in the cafeteria? Then why did we leave?"

"... the band-aid for my ego."


	7. All's Fair in Love and War

_You don't want to hurt me,  
But see how deep the bullet lies.  
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.  
There is thunder in our hearts, baby.  
_  
-Running Up that Hill, Placebo

When we got to the flag, that's when the strategizing began. Bobby, who has had his fair share of Danger Room Sessions, was the one coming up with most of the plan. "Piotr, you guard the flag. Shoot everything that moves. The rest of us will go as a group and get that flag."

"Wait, but if they get Piotr out and get us as a group then we're all out," Jubilee pointed out. "I can go by myself so even if they get you, there's still me left."

' _I don't want to be in a group of three with John!'_ "No, I should go on my own. I'm fast and good at laying low," I argued.

John snorted, knowing exactly why I wanted to do it by myself. "Yeah, let Violet."

Bobby looked between the two of us. "Look, I don't want to be stuck between whatever problem you two are having now but you need to settle this. Besides, if they attack our group then it would make more sense for someone fast to be on our side so you can get away. And Vi, I don't mean to bring up the obvious but I'm not sure how safe it is-"

"Yeah, I got it," I sighed, not meeting Bobby's eyes. I could tell he felt bad but he didn't have to bring that up so soon after it happened.

"So it's settled then?" Jubilee asked and Bobby and Colossus both nodded. John and I stayed silent. "Then let's go because we already wasted too much time."

"Fine," I muttered. Bobby, John, and I ran off into the trees with Jubilee running the other way. The last thing I saw before disappearing into the trees was Colossus's body being coated with metal.

"Violet, is there any way you can use your powers to tell where the other team is? Like don't you have super hearing or smell as a wolf or something?" Bobby asked and I shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't want to hurt anyone though," I muttered, looking down.

"Great, so you're basically useless," John sighed and I shot him a glare. Without even meaning to, my eyes faded into a bright yellow and my hair into black. Fur sprouted from my skin and my nails sharpened into claws. I was in my transitional stage and even though the urge to hunt was still there, it wasn't nearly as powerful.

"Sexy," John said sarcastically and I bared my teeth at him.

Scents swarmed my nose and the sound of birds, rabbits, and kids playing on the basketball court nearly overwhelmed me. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out, I focused the smells and sounds while ignoring the ones that didn't matter.

"They're that way." My eyes were closed as I said the three words and pointed. "It's Kitty and three other people I don't recognize."

"Your eyes aren't even open," Bobby pointed out hesitantly.

"I can hear their footsteps and smell them. And by the way, they're coming in fast so it'd be a good idea to start running." I transformed back into my normal form just as John opened his mouth.

"Run?" John repeated. "Let's ambush them and get them all out! Then all we have to deal with is the last person who is probably guarding the flag."

I knew he was right. But was I going to let him know that? No.

"We don't need to get them out this early. If we wear them out now then we have the upper hand," I pointed out. John's eyes narrowed.

"If they get worn out by running then _we'll_ get worn out by running. I've been here a little longer than you, Violet, I know what I'm doing," John sneered. All Bobby could do was hopelessly look between the two of us as we fought.

"Clearly not," I snapped back. "If you did then we'd be long gone by now."

"Will you two stop?" Bobby finally cut in. "You're both ridiculous. You're fine one day and the next, you want to kill each other! Just grow up!"

With that, Bobby started storming away, making the decision for all of us. John and I shared a scathing look as we jogged after him. But by then, we had forgotten that there was a team with guns after us.

 _Pop! Pop! Pop!_

I let out a short scream as I hit the ground. Three yellow explosions hit the trees around me, missing us by inches. I twisted around to see Kitty, Luke and two other mutants, a boy and a girl, holding paintball guns with smirks on their faces.

 _Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!_

I pulled the trigger, sending four paintballs flying to the enemy. Two barely missed them, one hit Luke on the chest, and the fourth went straight through Kitty. John, Bobby, and I gaped as the paintball hit the tree directly behind Kitty.

"Well, I'll be damned," John muttered. "Her power _is_ good for something."

"Run!" Bobby yelled, waving his hand in front of us. A wall of ice appeared between us and the other team.

Not letting the chance to run slip away, I scrambled to my feet and bolted, leaping over logs and bushes as I ran. It didn't take long to catch up to Bobby but John was a while back. He would get taken out if he didn't hurry up!

Bobby glanced back to see Kitty phasing her team through the ice wall. The other girl that I didn't recognize lifted her gun and pointed it directly at John's back. Acting faster than I could (or would have) Bobby lifted his hand and a flash of icy blue shot from his hand.

The blue hit the paintballs as they flew through the air, but not making them stop. I was about to snap out a sarcastic remark when the paintballs hit John on the back, making him trip. They didn't splatter, they just hit him and bounced off.

"Fuck you, Bobby!" John yelled as he pulled himself to his feet. "That hurt!"

Flicking open his lighter, John sent a ball of fire to the tree near the girl, making the flame jump to the nearest tree and making some kind of spider web of fire. I would never admit it out loud but it was pretty cool.

That had been the first _real_ time I had seen John's power, other than when he trapped me with fire during my little Apex meltdown. I mean, the power really fit him too; John was about as destructive as fire.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," John muttered as he finally reached us. He shot Bobby a nasty glare and kept jogging.

The other team managed to get around the fire web but we were already too far away.

Once the other team was out of sight, we slowed to a walk. John was ahead, still annoyed at whatever Bobby did, and I fell in line with Bobby. "What'd you do back there?" I asked.

"Hm?" Bobby looked up with confusion for a split second before he realized what I was asking and let out a short laugh. "Oh that! I froze the paintballs so they wouldn't explode on John but would hurt like hell."

I laughed, earning a sharp glare from John and another laugh from Bobby.

"Violet, can you turn into a bird or something and see where the other team is? Maybe we can take them by surprise and get Kitty out," Bobby offered and I looked down.

"Uh no, I can only turn into a wolf so far," I said awkwardly.

"Seriously? You can't turn into anything else?" John asked and I nodded. At least he didn't sound rude about it, just curious.

"The Professor says I'll be able to turn into other things as my power grows but for now, it's just Ap- a wolf," I corrected myself before I could say 'Apex.' They didn't need to know that I gave a name to my power. Or that I referred to my power as a boy.

"Then we need a new plan," Bobby said, thankfully changing the subject. "Violet got someone out already so that's four people left. I didn't see Rogue so she's probably guarding the flag and that leaves Kitty, Amara, and Jamie."

"What can Rogue, Amara, and Jamie do?" I asked.

"Jamie can make multiples of himself. He can multiply whatever he's wearing or holding too so that's a dozen paintball guns if he changes. Amara can turn herself into magma and Rogue can absorb your powers and life force," Bobby explained. I shivered at Rogue's gift, imagining her draining the life out of someone.

"If Amara turns herself into her magma form then we can't hit her but John can control her. Jamie is pretty clumsy so it'd be easy to get him out as long as he doesn't have any multiples and Rogue won't use her power for a Danger Room Session like this," Bobby went on. "But the real problem is Kitty. She can just phase through the paintballs."

"We need to split them up," John added. "I'll take care of Amara, and Jamie is too scared of Violet to get her out. Bobby, you get out Rogue and that leaves Kitty for us all to get out."

"I'm not getting out my girlfriend," Bobby said bluntly. I stifled a laugh, realizing that John really just wanted to see Bobby shoot his girlfriend.

"But if I go up against her, she'd be more likely to use her powers on me than you," I pointed out. Not going to lie, I kind of wanted to see Bobby shoot his girlfriend too.

"See, Violet even agrees!" John smirked. "Take out Rogue and we'll get the other two."

Bobby sighed and rolled his eyes. "So basically you guys only get along when you're ganging up on me, is that it?"

"Yup." I grinned, earning a scowl from Bobby.

"Fine, I'll take out Rogue. But you two better not screw it up with Jamie or Amara or you'll never hear the end of it," Bobby warned. "And if I end up fighting with Rogue over this, you're both to blame!" He huffed again. "Let's just meet at our flag when we get them out."

We broke up, Bobby making a beeline for the opponent's flag while John and I ran silently to where we last saw the other team. I had to change into my transitional form half way there so I could track them easier.

"They're just behind that tree," I whispered to John, pointing to a particularly large and twisted tree. "They don't know we're here yet so let's take them by surprise."

John nodded and pulled out his lighter. He moved the flame from the lighter to his hand as he crept closer. When he was close enough, the flame formed a fire ball and he threw it at the tree like it was some kind of bomb. Immediately the tree erupted in flames and the surprised shrieks broke over the sound of crackling fire.

"They're here!" Kitty yelled as she darted away.

' _No shit,_ ' I couldn't help but think. John and I nodded to each other as we went in for the kill – er, shot. ' _Apex is way too influential…_ '

A wall of flame shot up between Amara and Jamie, splitting them up. Amara immediately turned into her magma form but that was exactly what John had been waiting for. I couldn't see what else happened because I had my own mutant to deal with. All I could hear was Amara screaming over the crackling of the fire - not in pain though. I couldn't imagine John torturing a girl for a Danger Room Session.

Jamie started running in the direction that Kitty went but he barely made it two steps before I lunged forward, knocking him to the ground and standing over top of him. Jamie's lip was quivering and his eyes were so wide they looked like they would explode.

I admit, if a werewolf with jet black fur, yellow eyes, and teeth as sharp as knives was standing over me, I'd probably cry too. Not to mention, the kid was like twelve or thirteen. He probably _begged_ to be a part of the Session with the older kids.

I crouched down so Jamie's face was directly in front of mine. I smiled, baring a row of deadly teeth and growled out one word: "Boo."

He fainted.

Smirking, I stood up and let my black fur blend back into skin and my eyes turn back to green. Pointing my gun at Jamie's chest, I let out a single paintball. I'm not going to lie, it's kind of flattering to be so intimidating that I can make someone pass out by just smiling at them.

The walls of fire diminished, showing Amara, pale-faced and with a yellow splatter on her neck. She scowled as she limped over to Jamie, wrapping his arm around her neck and hauling him up.

John and I shared a look before breaking out into a grin. It was like the fight yesterday never even happened. "You hit Amara on the neck?" I sniggered. "That's going to look like a hickey once it bruises."

"At least I didn't give her a heart attack," he joked. John playfully slugged me on the shoulder as we laughed. "But we better head over to Bobby. Kid's probably crying to his girlfriend by now."

" _The pink team has captured the yellow team's flag! All members of the pink team are back in the game!_ " Scott's voice rang through a megaphone. " _…Which turns out to be nobody. Congratulations to the pink team for just wasting a flag_."

"Hey John, which team are we?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Pink," John grumbled. "Dammit Bobby."

"Look at the bright side," I started to point out. "At least we have all of our team while there's just Kitty left on the other team. We just need to figure out a way of getting her out."

 _Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!_

John and I jumped around, holding out guns up like we were ready to shoot anything that moved – which we were.

Silence.

"I think it came from that way," I pointed to the direction where Bobby had gone. "Since there hasn't been any announcement about us winning, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say Bobby or Jubilee got out."

"I have to agree with you there, Princess," John grunted. "That means it's me, you, and Piotr against Kitty, and maybe Bobby or Jubilee."

"Let's head over to where Colossus is," I said. "Kitty will obviously head to our flag to get the rest of her team back in the game. We can hide in the trees and ambush Kitty before she gets the flag. That's the only way to get her out or else she'll just phase though all our paintballs."

John didn't reply, he just grunted as we headed back towards where our pink flag stood. When we were about half way there, we reached our first problem; a river. It wasn't very wide but it was still too far for us to jump over and it was pretty deep.

I hadn't seen the river when we came so it must mean it either dried up on one end or circled around again.

"I guess we're swimming," I muttered as I slung my gun over my shoulder. I started towards the water and was about to jump in when I felt a tug on my shoulder.

"Uh, let's just go around," John said, glancing down. I narrowed my eyes.

"John, we'll lose a lot of time if we go around. We have to get to the flag before Kitty does or our plan goes to shit," I pointed out.

"Yeah but if we swim through, it will water log our guns!" John shot back. I opened my mouth to object when his appearance finally hit me like a bus.

His skin was snowy white and his gun in his hands were trembling badly, no matter how still he tried to keep from shaking. I could see a bead of sweat form on his brow and his eyes were wide and child-like. ' _John can't swim._ '

I flinched back, like this new information had slapped me in the face. I admit, I was shocked. John always seemed like a cocky, hot-headed bastard who never took anything seriously and he was the last guy I would peg for having a fear of _anything_.

But here he was, terrified on dipping his toe in a river.

"Uh… no you're right. Let's go around," I replied calmly. John's entire face relaxed but a new spark lit his eyes. He knew that I had figured out his fear.

 _Pop! Pop!_

John and I stopped dead in our tracks. The 'gunshots' had come exactly where we were heading and that could only mean one thing; Colossus was out of the game.

" _The pink flag has been captured. Yellow team is back in the game_!"

John and I looked at each other, mouths agape as Scott's words filled the forest. We were fucked.

I started pacing back and forth. "Okay so we're the only ones left in the game and their entire team is back in the game again. Got a plan?"

John blinked. "Do I look like a guy with a plan?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes. I wanted to hit him upside the head but I also didn't want us to break the little truce we had going on. "It's not certain that Bobby and Jubilee got out, just that we heard gunshots. For all we know, it could be four against five."

John gave me a look that basically asked, ' _Do you really believe that_?'

No. No I did not.

I believed that it was just us left against a team of five, one who seems to be a master at paintball. If the X-Men are ever in a real life paintball situation, Kitty is the girl they should go to. "Okay then we need a new plan… We could try separating them again?"

"That could work but they know our strategy. Amara's not going to go into her magma form and Jamie will multiply before you can make him pass out again. Rogue is an easy target but Kitty is the one we have to look out for. She probably hasn't found the rest of her group yet," John explained and I nodded along.

"And what about Luke, what can he do?" I asked. All I knew was that he was a bit of a troublemaker and he was probably completely ripped from doing all those push ups.

"Along with being able to jump really high, he can make you sick when he touches you," John explained and I frowned.

"What kind of sick?" From what I heard, Rogue messed people up pretty bad when she touched them too. I don't need two people killing me from a single touch.

"Nothing dangerous," John mused. "A nasty headache, dizziness and the spot where he touches you itches like hell. It's voluntary though so it's not like Rogue's where she can hurt you without even meaning to," he went on as if he read my mind. "Trust me, it's just best if you avoid the kid."

 _Crack!_

John and I jumped at the sound and turned to where it had come from. It sounded like a branch breaking and it was close… too close to run from but still out of eyesight. I shared a look with the pyromaniac and we both bolted to the way we had come.

It's just too bad for us that a river blocked our path.

"Shit!" I hissed, catching myself before I toppled in the water. We could hear the footsteps coming in now and if we didn't act quickly, we'd be out of the game.

"I'm not getting in the water." John took a step from the river, his face paling and his hands trembling. I could see horrible memories flash through his mind that overcame his whole body.

I wanted to scream at him to just jump in the water and I was honestly about to when it hit me how unfair that was. My biggest fear was changing into Apex and killing again – which was a daily struggle – and if someone forced me to transform, I would feel hurt, betrayed and sickened. I couldn't turn around and do the exact same to John, no matter how much of a jerk he can be.

Suddenly, an idea formed in my head and I turned to John with new hope. "Follow my lead," I whispered. "Remember what Scott said about friendly fire."

I pulled the trigger, sending paintballs splattering on the ground. John was just staring at me with confusion and a slight fear that I might be insane. After a second, he shot the ground a few times too so it was a yellow mess.

"John, what the hell?" I yelled loudly, making sure the other team heard. "Didn't you hear what Scott said about friendly fire? Now I'm out!"

John's eyes lit with realization of what I was doing. His lips tugged down in fake anger as he snapped, "Don't be such a hypocrite, Vi! You shot me too! So guess what, Princess? Now we're both out!"

I plastered on a snarl and held my side where John had 'shot me.' He did the same on his chest as we started walking back to base, just as Rogue, Luke, Jamie, and Amara burst out of the trees. I held my free hand up in defense.

"Don't bother," I huffed. I couldn't help but think, ' _Damn, I'm a good actress._ ' "We already got each other out."

"Yeah, good going, _Violet_ ," John sneered. He brushed past the other team, still rubbing his pretend wound.

"Wait, we won?" Luke asked, brightening. "We won!"

The four teenagers dropped their guns and started cheering, their backs towards us. I shot a clever grin at John as we took aim at them. "Not quite," I muttered and pulled the trigger.

 _Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!_

Four clean shots, all hitting the others directly on their backs. Jamie multiplied into five of him and Rogue whirled around in shock. "What? You said you got each other out!" Her angry Southern accent came in strong.

"Nah." John grinned. "We just pretended we did. But you, you're definitely out."

"That's not fair!" Jamie whined and I let out a short laugh.

"Maybe not but it was funny and you four are out of the game!" I said, gesturing for them to head back to the school. We got some pretty nasty looks as they brushed past us but it meant nothing to me – John and I were back in the lead.

"Now just to get Kitty-" I was cut off when a yellow paintball whizzed past my ear and a _Pop_ echoed through the forest.

"You were saying?" Kitty smirked as she phased through a tree. Without wasting a second, John and I both let out a stream of paintballs from our guns – all of which passed straight through the brunette.

 _Click! Click! Click!_

I squeezed the trigger of my gun a few times but nothing came out. I was out of ammo. And to top it off, a few seconds later, John's gun started making the same clicking noise.

"You done?" Kitty motioned to the yellow trees behind her. John and I shared a look before we both nodded.

There was nothing left for us to do; we were out of ammo, the only thing behind us was a river that John refused to jump in and unless Kitty has horrible aim and uses up the rest of her paintballs, we were done. I shared one final look with John before squaring up to Kitty.

"Don't worry, it'll be quick," Kitty soothed dramatically. "You won't feel a thing."

 _Pop! Pop!_

I flinched at the loud sound of the paintball gun going off and it took me a second to realize that I never felt the impact of the paintball. I glanced over at John to see that he didn't have any paint on him either. _'Maybe she really does have horrible aim_.'

Kitty slowly turned around, her jaw slightly parted and her eyes wide in shock. When she turned, everything suddenly became clear.

On Kitty's back were two, sunny paint splatters.

Jubilee stepped out of the forest with a smug grin on her face and her gun slung over her shoulder. "Miss me?"

"Jubilee?" John and I chorused, too shocked to slap each other for saying the same thing again. She didn't have a paint splatter on her and the only evidence that she had even been in the Danger Room Session was a small twig in her hair.

"The one and only," she laughed and gave us high fives - she had to lift up my hand and slap it to get anything resembling a high five out of me. My jaw was still dropped as I stared at her. "What, cat got your tongue?"

"But I thought Kitty got you out?" I wondered aloud. Kitty shook her head, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I haven't seen Jubilee for the entire Session. I only got out Bobby and Piotr," she explained.

Everything started to fall into place; when we heard the gunshots, we had instantly assumed that Bobby or Jubilee had been tagged out and that we were the only two left in the game. In reality, Jubilee was never tagged out to begin with and was waiting for the perfect time to make a dramatic appearance. Which she did stunningly, may I add.

"Nice timing," John muttered. I could only repeat what he said, still too surprised to form coherent words.

"Thanks," Jubilee beamed. "It's my specialty. So I guess that means we won then?"

"I guess so…" There was a lot less cheering and celebrating than I imagined. I was kind of expecting John and I to lift Jubilee onto our shoulders and carry her back to the school or something. To be honest, I was still a little baffled about how things turned out. Kitty and Jubilee were already walking back to school, leaving John and I alone.

"That was… dramatic. Damn, no one should ever take paintball that seriously." John finally broke the silence. "It's cool that we won though."

"Yeah," I hummed as we started walking. After a long silence, I finally spoke up again. "Hey John, so are we at a truce?"

"Sure." John shrugged nonchalantly. He took a few more steps before visibly tensing. "But you, uh, won't tell anyone about what happened, will you? With the river."

I smiled gently. "As long as you don't tell anyone my little secret." It was obvious what I was referring to and John quickly nodded. A part of me believed that he wouldn't have told anyone to begin with; if he hadn't by now, then why would he? Even though John could be an idiot and wasn't always the nicest of the bunch, I could already tell that he was passionate about being a mutant and he would never stab another mutant in the back.

And with that, we walked the rest of the way back to school in a comfortable silence.

[X]

"To get the length of x, you must cross multiply 7.5cm by sine (48°) and divide by sine (67°)." I stared blankly at the chalkboard filled with numbers that meant nothing to me and a lot of X's on it. Storm's explanation went in one ear and out the other. "Bobby, can you tell me the length of x?"

I tuned out as Bobby started talking. Not because of Bobby himself but on the simple fact that I did not understand what we were talking about. The entire trigonometry unit was a blur and it all sounded Greek to me. I was never very good at school.

Math? Fail.

Chemistry? In one ear, out the other.

Physics? Don't even get me started.

The only thing I was passing was English but that's only because I'm good at bullshitting essays. Everything else was like a foreign language to me. Besides, it all seemed so pointless anyway; when would I ever need to know about trigonometry anyway?

I'd like to know when we get to learn how to balance a chequebook.

"Violet, what's the angle of Y?"

I looked up with wide eyes at an expectant Storm. She could tell that I wasn't paying attention and I was busted. "…90°?"

Storm let out a short sigh. "It's 65°. Try to pay more attention please."

You would think that I would start paying more attention and get my grade higher than a 68% but no, I just zoned out again. That's what I get for having an attention span of a fly. Pretty much everyone in any of my classes knew that I daydreamed too much to actually learn anything and most people actually found it kind of funny.

I slumped in my chair, glancing out the window as I did. The sun was shining through the glass and the grass looked as soft as feathers. The basketball court was empty for once, other than the Professor who was outside, enjoying the beautiful day.

…Unlike me who had to sit inside and learn about the power of triangles.

I could see birds soaring through the air in the distance. I couldn't help but feel envious as they cut through the air like knives; what I would give to do that right now!

As I watched the birds, I didn't notice a free, light-weight feeling sinking into my veins. It wasn't like the strong, powerful feeling that I got whenever Apex made an appearance. This was something more… carefree.

It wasn't until I looked down at my arms that I realized what was happening. My arms were fading black and small tufts of _something_ were starting to grow out of them. Almost instantly, the beautiful day outside was forgotten and my skin returned to normal.

Luckily, nobody else in the room seemed to notice, and if they did, they didn't say anything about it. This was just one more secret for me to bury.

But I couldn't peel my eyes from my arms. This wasn't like what happened whenever I changed into Apex… this was something different. The Professor's voice echoed in my mind, ' _Your powers aren't limited to transforming into a black wolf._ '

Something inside of me was trying to break free… and I had a feeling I knew exactly what it was. Because the tufts growing on my arms weren't the fur of a wolf, bear, or tiger. They weren't the scales of a lizard or the rough skin of a shark… they were _feathers_.

I glanced out the window at the birds who were now mere specks in the distance and my gut instantly dropped. Not even a minute ago, I had wished to fly but now, I wished for nothing more than to be normal.

But then again, when have I ever gotten what I wanted?

 **A/N: I apologize for this being a day late. Unfortunately we have no scene from KatieK101 but maybe we will for the next update!**


	8. Practice Makes (Almost) Perfect (-ish)

_How could a heart like yours  
Ever love a heart like mine?  
How I could I live before?  
How could I have been so blind?  
You opened up my eyes._

-Heart Like Yours, Willamette Stone

Once again, I was zoned out in biology class.

I don't know what it was about that specific class but something about it just made me think about everything other than _biology_. I wasn't even thinking about deep, insightful stuff like, 'What is my purpose in life?' or 'Who do I want to be in five years?'

It was stuff like, 'How does Rogue's hair always look so soft?'

Because really though, this is a question that needs an answer. I was actually tempted to lean over and ask her what kind of shampoo she used but I figured we weren't close enough for that. Plus it would just make people think I'm even more of an air-head.

It was actually funny, when I first came to Xavier's, a lot of people thought I would be some sort of super genius and always have really important things to say and always be ahead of my peers. But then they actually got in a class with me and according to John, I stare blankly at Storm for the fully eighty minute class and don't even open my books.

Until now, I thought I at least _looked_ like I was paying attention. I guess not.

See, I blame Apex – for most things that have gone wrong in my life – because he's an animal. Animals don't sit in classrooms for hours on end, listening to some white-haired lady talk about blood types. I could honestly care less in type O was the universal donor. I'll care about that when I need a blood transfusion.

"Violet?"

I snapped out of my inner monologue to see everyone staring at me, some sniggering. My cheeks burned red as I looked at Storm. "Yes?"

"Violet, you've been in this class for ten minutes. How could you possibly zone out that quickly?" Storm asked, exasperated. "What can I do to make this more interesting to you?"

"I don't know," I muttered, looking down at my paper. I always hated having attention on me and lately, it seems like that's all it's ever been. I know Storm wasn't trying to embarrass me, she just didn't know how much I loathed this.

If it were someone like John or Jay, they would be basking in the limelight and probably have some witty comeback to tell her.

"Do you even know what we're learning right now?" John asked with that stupid little smirk on his face. Honestly, I wanted to hit the kid sometimes.

I half-expected Storm to say "John," in that warning tone of hers and the subject would drop, but she didn't. She just looked a little expectant, as if to back up John's question.

"Uh, blood types?" I asked and everyone stared at me like I was mentally impaired.

Storm sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Okay, I kind of felt bad for her because I know how frustrated my old teachers in Canada would get when I didn't try in school. I mean, it's not _my_ fault; like I said, I blame it on Apex. "Violet, in the hall, now."

I internally groaned as I stood, shooting daggers at John. "You just had to ask, didn't you?"

"Violet, we learned blood types a week ago," Bobby muttered as I walked past, following Storm into the hallway. The second Storm had left the room, it exploded in chatter, as if she couldn't still hear them from the hallway.

I stepped into the hall, turning to the pretty mutant with a slight frown on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. "Look Violet, we have got to do something about this. I understand that it can be hard to pay attention in class but this is getting ridiculous. I don't think you've answered a single answer correct since you've gotten here."

My face burned and I refused to make eye contact. ' _Wow, way to really make me feel smart_.'

"You're not stupid," she said, as if reading my thoughts. "Violet you have great potential, you just don't seem to ever want to do anything. I can't get you to pay attention longer than a few minutes and you're always lost in your own thought. I can't force you to learn, but it would help if you at least opened your books."

' _I mean you could force me to listen. The principal's a freaking telepath_.'

"Are you even listening right now?" she asked, her mouth pinching into a flat line. I could tell she was trying to hold back her frustration.

"Yes," I sighed, running a hand through my hair. She waited expectantly for me to say something else but I remained silent.

"I just want to know what's going on inside your head," she breathed, shaking her head, ever so slightly. "Violet, you have a lot of potential for greatness, but you refuse to acknowledge it. I know these last few weeks have been hard on you but you need to try and move past everything. Nori-"

"Look, I'm not spending the whole time wallowing in self-pity," I interrupted. "Honestly, I've just been trying to forget everything but everyone seems to be trying to make that impossible for me. Trust me, I know my flaws. I know that I'm not school smart and that I don't have control over my powers, trust me, I know that. But the thing is, reminding me isn't going to make it better. It honestly just makes me feel worse."

There was a long pause as Storm stared at me with those deep, brown eyes, but I glanced away. Finally, she said, "Then what do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. If I fail, I fail. I genuinely don't care."

To be honest, I was just done with this whole thing. I was never going to be a good student and these little talks would never help me. All I've ever wanted was to be left alone and even in a place that was literally _made_ for people like me, I still couldn't find that.

There was another long pause as I let the words sink in. I wasn't trying to hurt Storm or anything, I was just stating the facts. But she was a teacher, so of course she would feel like a failure when one of her students refused to care about what she loved.

Storm rubbed her forehead and sighed. After a long pause, she said, "The Professor wants to see you in the Danger Room. You can take your books and go."

Without another word, Storm turned and walked back into class. I stared after her for a moment, feeling a small knot in the base of my stomach. I felt like I was crushing her dreams or something, but I needed to make her understand.

Because nobody ever seemed to care or even bother to try and understand my perspective and I couldn't let that keep happening.

[X]

"Violet, what we're going to do is not a Danger Room Session. We're testing how powerful Apex is and how much control you have over him," the Professor said evenly and I nodded. Jean and Scott were both standing off to the side in their tight X-Men uniforms.

We were standing in the Danger Room but for once, it wasn't a simulation. It was just a big, silver room with five people in it – some guy named Forge was tinkering with some weapons off to the side. The Danger Room was still closed for Sessions but since this was more of a test, we were just using it to block me off from the rest of the school.

"Him?" Jean asked, glancing up.

I shrugged. "My base transformation is a wolf I saw from a zoo when I was little and his name was Apex. Now I just think of my power as a male wolf."

Jean nodded. I could tell she didn't really get it but I didn't expect her to.

"What happens if Apex does make an appearance and he isn't so happy to see you?" I asked bluntly. It was no secret that I was terrified to the core of Apex hurting someone and I wasn't going to purposely shape-shift if I knew I could harm the Professor.

"That's what Scott and Jean are here for. Don't worry Violet, you stand no chance of doing any damage," the Professor soothed. I slowly nodded but I was still unsure about the whole situation. "Go ahead, Violet. You can let the wolf out."

I stared at the Professor for a long minute, wondering whether it was all even worth it. I was a danger, a ticking time bomb. Letting Apex run loose was just speeding up the clock and waiting for the explosion.

But the Professor promised a way of controlling Apex; stopping the clock. If I could just control this power then maybe there wouldn't be anything to be scared of. That was my last thought before I let out a defeated breath and prepared to change.

It was a lot easier than I expected. I just needed to focus on the things that make me angry to the core and the next thing I knew, I had four paws and eyes like gold.

For the first few seconds, I just stood there, knowing exactly what I was doing and exactly who I was. ' _I am Violet. Not Apex. I am in control._ '

But that was until I started to notice everything around me. Flashes of memories of my leg snapping and my head caving in. Scott and Jean, prepared to take me out at any moment. Forge holding _weapons_.

Weapons to kill me with.

And that was the moment when Violet disappeared and Apex made his presence known.

I backed away, snarling at the strangers with my glistening white teeth. A girl with hair like fire held up her hand like she was about to hurt me but the bald man in the strange chair waved at her not to. ' _As if she could hurt me. I'll kill her_!'

"Violet, remember who you are," the bald one said to me and I took a step back. My fur was standing straight up and I was prepared to kill anyone if I had to – or if I wanted to. And in that moment, I really _wanted_ to.

I let out a vicious snarl as I lunged at the sitting man. His eyes widened and his arms instinctually went up to protect himself. But when I expected to sink my teeth into soft flesh, I was met with nothing but air instead.

I was suspended in air, like a bird that didn't have to flap its wings. Twisting around, I tried wriggling out of whatever invisible thing was holding me up. ' _Let me go! Kill! Kill! Kill_!'

"Jean, you're making her panic," the man with hair said slowly. He was talking to the redhead who had one arm raised at me. ' _She must be the one holding me up_!'

"Let her go Jean," the bald one ordered. Yet, the redhead didn't let me go. Red sparked in her eyes and suddenly, I flew back on the ground, slamming into it like some kind of prey. "Jean!" he roared.

I leapt to my feet, a new rage boiling deep in my gut. Baring my teeth, I started to slowly walk forward, sizing up my prey before I killed them. "I think you made her mad," the young man whispered.

" _Violet, remember who you are_ ," a voice appeared in my mind. " _You are not this creature_."

I paused, staring at this man. Something in my mind was fighting to break out; a thought on the tip of my tongue that just wouldn't come to life. A match, doused in gasoline and impatiently awaiting a spark. His words repeated in my mind: You are not this creature.

No… I'm Violet.

And just like that, the match was lit and all rage and urge to kill was diminished. Jean, Scott, Forge, the Professor… they were all my friends (Well maybe not Forge…) and not my prey. I am not Apex. I am Violet.

I let my tongue loll happily out of my mouth as I plopped my rear on the ground. It was against everything Apex stood for but I even wagged my tail to show everyone that it was Violet in control now.

The Professor broke into a grin. "Good, very good. Before long, you won't need my help to control this. You will simply know who you are and that's when your powers will really bloom into something amazing."

I forced the power out of my veins and I transformed back into my human form, still holding a grin on my face. My clothes were tattered and I had to hold the ripped cloth over my chest but I still felt like I was on cloud nine. I was finally learning to control my demon.

The Professor spoke once more. "Now, how about we try again?"

Those were the last six words spoken before the training really picked up. I transformed multiple times to the point where I was dizzy and we had to take an hour long break before I could try again. After that, we did longer intervals with more stress to trigger the Apex we all know and hate.

Violent Apex did make many appearances in those three hours of training but each time, I was able to coax myself back to being Violet – with the help of the Professor – and by the end, I even managed to change directly into my wolf form without having an episode.

I knew I wasn't ready to change into Apex during a real Danger Room Session, let alone in public, but I knew I was getting there. And that was enough for me.

By the time we were done, I was absolutely exhausted and it was only one O'clock or so. I still had the whole day to do whatever I pleased. And what I wanted to do was practice more, maybe in the forest.

"I don't think stressing yourself more is a good idea, Violet," the Professor said, reading my thoughts. "Controlling your power is not something you will be able to learn within a few hours. It could take weeks or months before you can safely switch in and out of your wolf form without any hazards. Let alone the other creatures you may have locked up inside."

I sighed impatiently. "But I just want to get this right. I want to control Apex already," I explained as we walked (or rolled in the Professor's case) out of the Danger Room. I grabbed a sweatshirt and pulled it over my destroyed tank top.

Thankfully my leggings didn't rip very much.

"I know you do but control takes time. No one becomes a master in a day," the Professor mused. "And with a power as violent as Apex is… it may take a while."

There was a short silence before the Professor started talking again. "I actually want to talk to you more about that…"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Apex's violent behavior," he clarified. "Wolves are like humans in a way. They can have many emotions; happy, sad, angry… but Apex doesn't show this variety of emotion. He is angry and violent… he's not being just territorial, he's being murderous with no motive behind it."

"So what are you saying? Apex is fucked or something?"

The Professor shot me a stern look for my language but didn't say anything about it. "I think there is a deep rooted anger in you. Something that comes to the surface when you transform."

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. Yeah, I was angry about a lot of things. I was angry that I killed so many people – but that was only an aftermath of my power. I was angry about being bullied – but I was only bullied because of Apex's violence.

"May I…?" The Professor motioned to my head with two fingers. "I think if I take a deeper look, I may find the source of your anger."

"You mean read my mind again?" I clarified. I was a little hesitant on letting him back inside, considering the memories that resurfaced the last time he did that. No matter how unhealthy it was to bottle everything up, it's all I really wanted to do.

"I know it's not something you want to go through again but it could be necessary if you ever want to truly control Apex – in any form he may be," the Professor said. I instantly thought back to the 'feather' incident in math class but pushed it to the back of my mind.

"Fine," I agreed. I didn't want to turn into a hawk or vulture or something without being able to control Apex in his wolf form.

Not wanting to do the whole 'let's read about Violet's pathetic past in the hallway' thing, we took the elevator upstairs and into my bedroom. I still hadn't seen Nori since the incident and my hopes weren't exactly high. Judging by the half empty room, she wasn't too keen on seeing me.

When we reached the room, I settled on a chair and tried my best to clear my mind. The Professor held his fingers near my temples, brushing past them ever so gently as the images began to resurface.

The constant bullying, Hugh's hatred for me, running to America… it all flashed in front of me, yet I knew it wasn't the reason for Apex's viciousness. There was something more.

The Professor pushed passed my teenage years and into my childhood; the attack on Clyde, wondering what made me different, and living happily with my brother and my mother.

 _Father_.

The word pressed itself into my head, forcing to be heard. I knew the Professor had put it there but it seemed so foreign. It was a word I had rarely spoken, other than to explain that I didn't have one.

 _Where is he?_

New memories started to resurface – ones I didn't even realize I possessed anymore. My mother hugging me tightly as she sobbed, my mother with messy hair and makeup smudges as she tried to wipe food from a screaming Hugh's face. My mother, my mother, my mother… it was all her.

Deeper, the Professor dug, sorting through the hardships of learning the alphabet and crying over a small tumble. Finally, after searching through what seemed to be a lifetime of memories – hell, it _was_ a lifetime – he finally reached the one that made me shoot out of the chair and stumble away.

" _I can't do this anymore Holly!" a man's voice screamed, followed by a_ _loud_ Bang! _The only thing I could see was the ceiling but I could hear the two voices, loud and clear. "I hate it here – Oh God damn how much I hate it here… this house, this job, the crying children!"_

" _You hate our children?" a woman – my mother, Holly – choked on her own sobs. "How could you hate them? You helped create them!"_

" _That was a stupid mistake we made when I was eighteen, Holly," the man stressed. "I'm twenty and I just want to live my life, not stay home taking care of babies."_

" _Do you think I wanted this?" Holly screamed. "I never wanted to get pregnant, Jack! I was only sixteen; do you think I wanted to give up my whole life? Well trust me, dropping out of high school to have twins was never in the agenda."_

 _Jack remained silent for a long moment before Holly finally spoke up again. "But you know what? I love our children. I love everything about them and I never regret having them… having you be the father… God, that's one thing I honestly do regret."_

" _Well you don't have to regret it anymore," Jack said so quietly it was almost a whisper. "You don't have to_ put up _with me anymore. Goodbye Holly."_

 _There was silence for a while until finally, there was a slamming of the front door. Almost instantly following, the sound of something shattering filled the room and my mother's screams echoed off the walls. "You can't just leave me!"_

 _Even though I couldn't see it, I knew Holly had slumped to the floor, sobs shaking her frame. "You can't leave me…"_

I stumbled to the floor, my eyes wide in shock. I didn't know that memory existed, let alone the effects they would have on me to this day. The Professor looked down at me with knowing eyes but let me catch my breath before speaking.

"Violet, I know that memory must have been jarring but we need to focus on the issue at hand," the Professor said gently. "I believe that the memory itself wasn't what caused Apex to become so aggressive but the effect your father had on your family. Growing up without a fatherly figure can be hard and all this time, it's slowly been taking its toll on you.

I didn't say anything. I just looked at the floor and refused to meet his eyes.

"You're not alone; many of the children here don't have any families either and grow up to successful individuals with full control of their powers. You just need guidance and maybe a friend to help you come to terms with this missing piece of your life," the Professor went on but I was already stuck on one word he said.

 _Friend_.

I didn't have a fatherly figure. I didn't have a friend. I didn't have anything other than a hormonal wolf trying to claw its way out of my chest.

"Violet," the Professor broke me free of my thoughts. "Are you listening?"

"Yes." It came out more bitterly than I intended it to. "I get it."

The Professor blinked in mild shock. He of all people should have known how unstable my emotions were and one wrong word could set me off. "I'm going to leave you alone for now, Violet. I think you need some time to think things over."

I need some time to calm down.

The Professor wheeled away, leaving me in the empty room with only my thoughts to accompany me.

I get why nobody wants to be my friend, I do. My emotions are on a rollercoaster that rarely goes up, I have a multiple personality that just so happens to be a dangerous wolf that relies purely on my emotions. And to top it all off, my personality isn't exactly my best quality either.

I finally found one person, one friend who I put all my trust into for a few weeks and then just like that, I managed to drive her off. Or maybe… maybe she just needed a reason to ditch me this whole time.

All I knew was that I needed to speak to Nori. Now.

I closed my bedroom door as I started down the hall. A few people brushed past me as I walked but I paid no attention to it; it was better than everyone staring at you at once.

When I reached the end of the hall, I did a quick 360° glance and then entered the elevator, pressing the button for the basement.

The elevator music seemed a bit taunting to say the least; sure, it was all happy and sing-song-y with not a care in the world, but there I was, descending into the gates of hell – or at least to see if Nori still liked me in the slightest. But then again, I seem to overthink everything.

The elevator doors opened and suddenly, I froze. The plan was to sneak into the medical bay to see Nori, apologize until she fully understood how sorry I was, and then hopefully convince her to move back into our room together. That was the plan at least.

Instead, I just stood there, staring at the long hallway until the doors closed and I had to press to 'open' button and take a step out. I was dreading and missing Nori all in the same; I just wanted our friendship to go back to the way it was but I knew that probably wasn't the case.

One step. Two steps. Each pace took me closer to the steel door with the large X on it.

I stared counting to ten, not to control my anger but to control my fear. It did nothing to help.

Finally, I reached the door and it slid open. The room was empty, except for two people lying on hospital beds. I instantly felt a surge of rage when I saw Jay's red wings but I held back my hatred when my eyes fell on the girl with the messy blue hair.

From her chest to chin, Nori was wrapped in bandages. Her face was paler than usual and the petite girl seemed even smaller than usual. But she was _alive…_

…And awake.

Nori's brown eyes bored into mine and I couldn't help but look down as I shuffled over to her bedside, pulling up a plastic seat. She remained silent so I started talking. "Listen, Nori… I don't really know where to begin to be honest."

Silence. I let out a breath.

"For starters, I should have told you exactly what my power was and why I was so scared of it coming out. I should have let you _help_ and maybe it wouldn't have happened like it did. Jay just… he pushed my final button and I just snapped. I couldn't control it," I explained. "When I'm like that… I lose control. And not in the way that I can't control what I'm doing but I don't even remember who I am."

More silence.

"When I saw you, you weren't even you. You were an enemy; someone who was attacking me for hunting." I cringed at the word as I went on. "I only remembered who I was when the Professor got into my mind and made me remember."

I waited for a moment before Nori finally opened her mouth and I felt my heart leap in my chest.

"So was that an apology or an excuse?" Her voice was cold; frozen.

"I just wanted to explain what happened," I tried but her expression didn't change.

"Well see, maybe I should explain how I see it. Despite looking like a _fucking_ wolf, I still recognized you. You weren't even a human and I knew who you were. You couldn't even remember who I was and I didn't change for shit," Nori spat.

She went on. "And then I started to realize something; I have always been there for you and you've never been there for me. I blew up the TV to keep one of your many secrets, I calmed you down when you had one of your temper tantrums, and I stayed your friend when no one else would. What have you ever done for me?"

I stared blankly at her. What had I ever done for her?

…Nothing.

"That's what I thought," Nori hissed after my long silence. "And I finally decided something; we're not friends. Honestly, we never were. I get that I'm the only one that's ever been nice to you but… we're not friends. You're just a stranger who attacked me."

I stared at her in shock. She didn't even blink an eye as she said it and I couldn't even speak. It felt like my throat was seizing up and my heart had stopped. Like everyone else, Nori had left me.

I stood up, sending my chair crashing to the ground as I stormed away. These feelings were a mixture of everything… pain, anger, hatred, remorse… It was overwhelming.

The trip from the basement to my bedroom was a blur. I could feel my emotions becoming increasingly unstable with every step I took and no matter how hard I tried, no matter how many times I counted to ten, there was no controlling the way Apex clawed to get out.

The crowds parted as I stormed down the halls. Maybe it was the rage in my eyes or the way my jaw clenched with unspoken rage. Or maybe, it was my black hair and golden irises.

Whatever it was, they were the Red Sea and I was Moses.

My bedroom door slammed behind me as I finally let myself release. Tears sprouted from my eyes at the same time as my teeth sharpened to dangerous points. I wasn't yet in my full Apex form but I was one bad thought away from transforming.

I started pacing back and forth, Nori's words repeating in my head.

' _We're not friends. Honestly, we never were.'_

' _You've never been there for me.'_

' _You're just a stranger who attacked me.'_

As the last thought entered my mind, I finally flipped. With a short yell, I raked my nails down the nearest wall, leaving scratches in the wood. I fell to the floor, covering my face with my hands as I fought to control my emotions.

Something was wrong with me.

Maybe it was an hour, maybe it was ten minutes; however long it was, it was long enough for me to come to terms with what Nori said. We were no longer friends. I was a fool for thinking she was any different than the other 'friends' I've had.

I slowly stood up, wiping away the final tears that fell. I did a quick glance at the wall where I had my mini-freak out and froze. I hadn't noticed it in my moment of rage, but the scratches I left were more than something human fingernails would leave.

They were _deep_. And sharp. Like something that could rip someone apart in seconds. The wood splintered where the claw marks were and even touching them made tiny slices of wood prick my finger.

I stared at the marks in awe. Maybe I could excuse it as the wolf coming out?

The second the thought entered my mind, it was banished again. The marks were too deep and far apart to be those of a wolf. Not to mention, wolves relied on their teeth more than their claws for doing damage. Even if I scratched it with all my might, there was no way the markings would match up.

Suddenly, the incident with the feathers flashed into my mind. Unless there was some breed of wolf that had feathers and deadly claws, I was starting to get a taste of what my powers could do.

I ran my fingers along the deep claw marks one last time before turning away. With each passing day, Apex's message was getting louder and clearer.

Apex had more forms than just a black wolf. Countless creatures were buried within him and they all wanted one thing:

Out.

 **A/N: Would have had this up a few days ago but my Internet hasn't been working. Hope you enjoyed!**


	9. F is for Family

_He looks with tired eyes  
At all the people hypnotized,  
And wonders what can save him  
From his self-created hell._

-Devil, Staind

"See, I should have a job like this," John mused as we sat in front of the television. I was sitting on the couch, holding my head with one hand. Rogue and Bobby were sitting next to me, carefully cuddled up without actually touching any skin. John was sitting on the floor, sitting on a bean bag that no one has any idea where it came from. Really, it just showed up and no one really questioned it.

We were watching NABN, a news station that was a little more opinionated than the rest. They did more than just deliver the news, they gossiped about it too. They always spent a few minutes after explaining the situation to argue about who was to blame, how it could have been prevented, and blah, blah, blah. Honestly, they were paid to act like teenagers on national television.

John figured that with his fantastic personality, he could be a newscaster on NABN.

Bobby snorted and lightly kicked John. "Yeah, sure. You'd probably burn anyone who disagreed with you."

"It'd make pretty great TV thought," John pointed out with a grin. "Besides, all you have to do is argue with everyone and let the money roll in. Isn't arguing my best quality?"

"What's your worst quality then?" I asked curiously (and a little sassily if I'm being totally honest here).

"Don't have one, Princess," John laughed and winked. I shuddered and turned back to the TV.

The newscasters, Jackson Hyde, Marissa Lichen, and Steven Masterson, were having a heated discussion about some hostage situation in Louisiana. Apparently some terrorists or something took over an entire school and only a handful of students managed to escape so far.

' _The government should have listened to these people when they threatened to take drastic measures,'_ Masterson said, slamming his hand on the table. ' _If they had, the whole situation could have been avoided._ '

' _It's been drilled into our heads by the government that we shouldn't negotiate with terrorists. Sometimes there are consequences to risks that we just have to deal with,_ ' Lichen pointed out.

' _I just want to know what measures are taken to get those students out of danger,_ ' Hyde started and I tuned out. The whole thing was starting to bore me, as terrible as that sounds. I'm not trying to sound like that person who uses others pain as a form of entertainment but in first-world countries, everyone is that kind of person.

I yawned and stretched out on the couch. "Can we watch something else?"

"Yeah, we've been watching this for an hour now," Rogue agreed. "Bobby, switch it."

Bobby didn't say anything else as he picked up the remote and started flipping through channels.

News…

News…

Football…

Some little kids show…

We reached Discovery Channel and it just so happened to be playing a documentary on wolves. Let's just say John saw his opportunity and he took it.

"Hey Violet, it's you!" John yelled, pointing to a dark wolf on the screen. I rolled my eyes, shooting daggers at the mutant. The wolf was ripping into some bloody carcass and devouring the meaty pieces. You couldn't tell what the prey was but it was bloody enough to make Rogue cringed. "Hide your disgust, Rogue. You'll offend Violet."

I laughed slightly. "I'm not going to get offended by someone thinking a dead animal is gross. _I_ even think it's gross and I can turn into that thing." I nodded my head at the TV, which now showed the wolf growling at the screen, blood and snow coating its jaws.

"Well _excuse me_ for trying to spare your feelings," John said dramatically. "I'm trying to improve your quality of life here and you're just shutting me down."

"Since my quality of life is so terrible, hey?" I mean, in Canada it definitely was. But despite everything that's happened in America so far, it was still a step up from the torture I went through up North.

"It's like I always say, at least you're not Kyle Witherson," John pointed out. I paused, trying to think of who Kyle Witherson was. After a few moments, I couldn't place his name and gave up. I was about to ask who he was but Bobby beat me to it.

"Honestly John, you say that all the time; nobody has any idea who Kyle Witherson is. You make no sense," Bobby stressed.

"He's someone you don't want to be," John explained vaguely. Bobby and Rogue just groaned as John sniggered lightly to himself. We turned back to the screen to see a moose was now walking through the snowy forest. "You ever kill a moose before?"

"No John," I responded in a monotone voice. "I've never killed a moose before."

"Caribou?"

"No."

"Elk?"

"No."

"Bear?"

"John, how do you expect me to kill a bear?" Rogue and Bobby both snorted at our bickering but John just shrugged with a smirk on his face. "Honestly, when have you ever seen a bear be taken down by a wolf?"

"It could have been a small bear… like a kola bear," John pointed out. He waved his arms around dramatically. "How would I know, Vi? I'm not here to tell you that you can't kill a bear. You can do anything you set your mind to!"

I snorted, shaking my head as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Thanks for the pep talk. You know, now I feel inspired enough to take on a grizzly," I deadpanned. "You should be a motivational speaker."

"You two bicker like an old married couple," Rogue joked. John and I both turned to look at her in horror. Honestly, the look of disgust on our faces was a riot in itself.

"We're not married!" I said at the same time as John said, "We're not old!"

An awkward silence followed as John and I did everything in our power to avoid eye contact.

Bobby kept changing the channels until we finally just decided to give the remote to someone else and leave. I started heading towards my room when I ran headfirst into the last person I wanted to see.

Nori.

I stumbled backwards but managed to catch myself before falling. "Watch it… oh…" Nori trailed off when she realized it was me. She was looking at me with a cold expression that could cool a volcano.

I stared at her for a long moment but her brown eyes stayed ice cold. Finally, I spoke. "Uh, sorry."

"Yeah…" Nori muttered awkwardly. "Look, I have to go."

"I'm not holding you back," I snapped. She narrowed her eyes at me but I just walked away. Sure, maybe not the best idea to snap at the person I was trying to apologize to but half of me was angry and the other half was hurt. In that moment, the angry side made an appearance.

Nori got discharged from the medical bay yesterday and since then, we were both on a mission to avoid the other. Immature? Very. Did we care? Not at all.

I turned the corner and once again, ran straight into someone. This time, I fell to the ground, landing hard on my butt. I groaned in annoyance. "Seriously?"

"I'm sorry, Violet," Storm said sweetly as she helped me up. "That was my fault."

"Uh, no it's fine. I should have been watching where I was going." Thank God she wasn't a mind reader like the Professor or she'd know how sorry I _wasn't_.

Storm paused for a moment like she wanted to say something. I knew the chances were that I wouldn't like what she was going to say so I started to walk away. Not fast enough apparently though. "Violet, wait."

I turned around slowly, seeing the hesitant look on Storm's face. "Yes?"

"I heard you and Nori and… I know you're both upset over what happened but acting like you're strangers isn't going to solve anything. You need to work things out," Storm burst and my guard immediately went up.

"I'm not the one holding a grudge," I muttered. I tried to walk away again but the older woman wouldn't let me leave and called me back.

"The Professor also had some clothes made for you." I brightened up at that. I really _needed_ clothes. "They'll transform with your mutation so your clothes won't rip whenever you shape-shift. Scott is also going to take you into the city to get some more clothes that the Professor can make Apex-proof."

That made me even happier.

Not only because I always ended up nearly naked when I turned back into a human but because these clothes I was wearing weren't even mine. They were things that Rogue, Jubilee, and Kitty had grown out of.

"Thanks," I breathed. This time, I didn't let her stop me as I rushed to my room. When I pushed open the door, I saw a pile of clothes lying on my bed. The pile was small and mostly black and gray, but I still could hardly contain my excitement.

Two tank tops, one long-sleeved shirt, two pairs of leggings, and a black dress. I wrinkled my nose at the dress and tossed it to the side. First, I never really wore dresses, and secondly, it looked like something you would wear to a funeral.

I took off the bright pink top I was wearing (blame Jubilee) and switched it for the gray, long-sleeved shirt. I also pulled on the black leggings and looked at myself in the mirror. Sure, the clothes were a little boring but they were _mine_.

A few minutes after I changed, I heard a knocking on my door. I opened to Scott's smiling face. "I was told that I'm taking you shopping."

"I guess," I shrugged. "Uh, can I bring some friends?" Because let's be honest, I wasn't looking forward to asking Scott if my butt looked big in my jeans.

"Sure," he replied easily. "Bring whoever you want. I'll meet you in the garage."

My first thought was to bring Rogue because out of everyone, I was closest with her. 'Close' meaning I hung out in the same crowd as her. Maybe bringing a few more people to make it less awkward would be nice.

I ran into Rogue in the hall and she agreed to come out with me. Finding others was a little trickier. As we walked, we both realized how few girls we were actually friends with.

"Before you came, I usually just hung out with Bobby and John, to be honest," Rogue said with a short laugh.

"Yeah, I kind of need more friends." I said it like a joke but it was true. I was pretty lonely.

"How about we bring Jubilee?" Rogue offered. "She likes shopping and stuff like that. Kitty might want to come too."

"Yeah sure." To be completely honest, I was just glad she thought of some people to bring. I didn't even know most of the people here.

We found Kitty and Jubilee relatively quickly – they were watching some TV show and complaining about how unrealistic it was. They agreed to go, joking that it was about damn time that I got my own clothes.

When we entered the garage, I realized that it was the first time I had been in it and all I could do was stare. There was a whole line of sports cars of different shapes and colors. Scott just sniggered at my reaction before opening the door of a blue car to let the four of us in.

If I got cars like that by being a teacher, then I think I just came up with my career.

"Where to, ladies?" Scott asked. I stayed quiet – I'm from Canada, I don't know where all the good shops are – while Jubilee listed off streets and malls that we would go to. To say we had a full day planned was an understatement.

The first place we pulled up to was a huge mall with big windows and colorful mannequins. That's the best I can describe it because that entire two hours we spent there was a blur. Scott gave us this huge wad of cash for us to spend and then sent us on our merry way.

Of course, being four white girls, the first place we went to was Starbucks.

I never really went to Starbucks much growing up; the taste of coffee disgusted me and just ordering something seemed so intimidating. Like everyone was secretly judging what I was ordering.

"Tall non-fat chai tea latte," Jubilee ordered easily. Kitty and Rogue just ordered coffee while I stared at the menu with a blank face. "Violet, you getting anything?"

"I don't know what to get," I admitted. ' _And I don't know what half these things are…_ '

"Coffee, tea, or Frappuccino?" Rogue asked.

"Uh… frappe-"

"Coffee, tea, or something sweet?" Jubilee.

"Didn't you just ask that?" I shot back and Jubilee rolled her eyes.

"Oh Violet, you have so much to learn," the mutant sighed. She turned back to the barista and shot off an order. "Tall vanilla bean frappe, banana, caramel drizzle along the top and sides."

I just blinked at Jubilee. I had no comment. I mean, what was I supposed to say?

When we finally got are drinks, Kitty handed me exactly what you would imagine a bitchy teenager wearing Uggs and faux fur to order. I took a sip and was hit with a wave of sweetness. I coughed, "Jube, this tastes like diabetes!"

"If diabetes was delicious and expensive," Jubilee corrected. Instead of trying to argue with her, I just quietly continued to drink my disease in a cup.

"Where to next?" Rogue asked, sipping on her drink.

"Let's just walk around and if we see anything we like, we'll go in," I answered. "We have time."

"And money," Kitty added quietly.

We started walking down one of the long, crowded halls when we heard a commotion behind us. Turning around, a man with his hood pulled over his head was sprinting towards us with a purse in his hand while a lady screamed bloody murder behind him. "Thief! He took my bag!"

A man lunged at the thief but only managed to hit the ground. Security was chasing behind but there was no way they would catch him in time. Most people just stepped out of the way. Rogue and Jubilee did and Kitty would have just phased through him.

I don't know why I did it – maybe it was some primal instinct – but for some reason, right as he reached me, I lifted my fist. The thief had no time to stop or swerve, all he could do was run directly into my knuckles.

CRUNCH!

The sound of his nose breaking filled the air and not a second later, he was on the ground, clutching his face. "Mother fucker!" he screamed. "Fuck!"

My knuckles were covered in blood and throbbed like hell, but all I could do was stare at the man lying on the ground. I was just as surprised at him at what I had done; I didn't even notice Security arrive and retrieve the woman's purse.

"Who did this?" one of the security guards asked, looking from man to man.

It was almost comical the way the crowd parted to reveal me; a skinny, short girl with wide eyes. The man just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay, who knocked the guy out?"

I slowly raised my hand, showing off the blood coating my right fist and looked to the ground. In that moment, I honestly felt like a little kid confessing for stealing the extra cookie from the jar. "I did."

"It was awesome," some teenager grinned. "She beat that guy to the _ground_."

The man's mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally said four simple words. "Well good job, kid."

And then he left and the crowd dispersed.

The whole ordeal couldn't have taken more than two minutes and all we could do afterwards was watch in a frozen shock as the thief was taken away. "Violet, that was amazing," Kitty stated numbly. "You literally punched crime in the face."

"Where'd that even come from?" Jubilee asked, looking at me. "Oh my god, your eyes!"

"What?" I lifted my hand to my face. "What's wrong with them?"

Rogue and Kitty were looking now too. "They're yellow."

Only then did I realize the familiar sense flowing through my veins. Apex had shown his colours without me even noticing. I slowly exhaled, letting the power seep out and my eyes die down to their normal green.

"Didn't you even notice you were using your power?" Rogue asked. "I mean, for most of us, we can tell when our power is being used."

I slowly shook my head. "No… not until you told me."

"That's weird," Kitty hummed. "Maybe it means you're getting more control of it?"

' _Or maybe it means the exact opposite._ '

[X]

After the whole 'accidentally punching a thief in the face' incident, we took twenty minutes to laugh about it and finish our drinks. The conversation had – typically - changed to who had the best eyes; Jubilee voted my yellow eyes, Rogue voted Storm's when she used her power and they turned white, and Kitty voted Bobby's blue ones.

Rogue didn't exactly look happy about Kitty's answer but didn't say anything about it.

I didn't contribute much to the conversation because I was still trying to figure out how Apex became active so easily. And so… subtly.

Before, I almost always had the same symptoms: black hair, yellow eyes, heightened senses. But this time… the only thing that changed was my yellow eyes and my strength. Like I was able to separate certain aspects of my mutation.

The thought was a mix of terrifying and exciting. Finally I was getting somewhere with my mutation!

After buying 10x more clothes than any of us needed, we decided to ditch the mall we were in and head for a strip mall a few blocks away. Kitty and Jubilee were a little bitter about it once they noticed the biting cold but Rogue and I didn't mind.

Rogue was wearing long-sleeves and gloves to begin with and I was Canadian; I was used to this kind of thing. The first stop we made at the strip mall was to an outdoor store to buy mittens and a toque for each of us.

I got a white knit one, Rogue got black, Kitty got brown and Jubilee got bright yellow. It made me feel like we were in a music video and Jubilee was the lead singer and the rest of us were background dancers.

"I think we have about two hundred dollars left. How should we spend it?" Kitty asked, quickly counting the bills.

"I don't know. I can't believe he gave us so much, in cash too," I mused. "Doesn't he own a credit card?"

Rogue laughed. "Yeah, since giving your credit card number to a group of girls is a good idea."

"Can we get some food? I'm starving!" Jubilee changed the conversation back to Kitty's question. "There's this really cute café nearby that I wouldn't mind going to."

"Didn't we _just_ have Starbucks?" I pointed out. I really wasn't in the mood to eat. I was more exhausted from our long day than anything.

"Starbucks food is dry," Jubilee replied, wrinkling her nose. "Let's get some actual food."

"Is there a Tim Hortons nearby?" I asked, temporarily forgetting that I was in America. "It should be Roll-Up-the-Rim right about now."

The three girls stared at me with confused eyes. "What are you talking about?" Kitty asked, blinking at me.

"Uh, never mind," I laughed awkwardly. "It's a Canadian thing. Let's just go to that café you were talking about."

I wasn't really hungry and when we got to the café, I couldn't really do much but awkwardly sit there as the girls ate. They were all chatting about how "cute" and "yummy" the little café was. Finally, I decided to just excuse myself.

"I'm just going for a walk or something. Maybe I'll see some stores or something," I offered. The girls looked a little curious but didn't say much.

"Sure, meet us back here in twenty?" She checked her watch.

"Yeah, that's fine."

I walked out of the café and into the breezy New York street. The street wasn't overly busy but it was still bustling with people and there was a constant street of cars going down the road.

I started to walk down the street, gazing into windows as I passed them. The clothes here were nice at least.

I didn't walk for long before popping into various shops, trying on a sweater or two before coming out again and continuing on my little solo spree. Within twenty minutes, I had bought two sweaters, a pair of leggings and some scented candles.

I came out of the candle shop (because hey, maybe Apex likes candles?) and started back down the street to meet up with my friends again. Even from where I was standing, I could see Rogue's white streak through the café window.

"Violet?"

I turned around to come face to face with a familiar face. Bright blue eyes, slicked back hair, the faintest stubble gracing his chin… Jackson Hyde from NABN? And he knew my name?

"Uh… yes?"

A million thoughts raced through my mind as I stared at the newscaster. The first was ' _Holy shit, a celebrity knows my name_!' and then being hit with, ' _How… does he recognize me from the attacks? Was my face plastered on every news station in North America?_ ' and finally, I couldn't help but feel a spark of recognition that went past just seeing him on TV.

"Violet, it's me…" Jackson breathed. I could only blink at him, unsure of what to say. "God, I've looked everywhere for you. You and Hugh."

Hugh. He knows about Hugh.

The hair along my neck rose and I instantly found myself slipping into defensive mode. How much did this man know? What did he know? _How_ did he know?

"Who are you?" My voice was stone cold; like an impenetrable steel.

His eyes were filling up with tears now and only then did I realize I was backing away. Hell, I was ready to bolt out of there any second now!

"I heard about what happened to your mother… It's not your fault Violet," he went on. I took another step back. He stepped closer, reaching to grab my hand but I ripped it away from him.

"Who are you?" I snarled. I was one wrong move away from shredding this guy – Apex style.

"Oh God," he laughed, running a hand through his gelled hair. "Of course you don't remember me. It was so long ago… Violet, my name is Jackson Hyde and I…"

There was a long pause.

"I'm your father…"

Before I could even register what those words meant, the world was spinning. I stumbled back, dropping my bags and grabbing the brick wall for balance. All the air had left my lungs and all I could do was stand there, leaning up against the wall as I gasped for breath.

All the pieces magically fit into place with each breath I took.

Jackson Hyde: Jack from my 'Jack leaving Holly' memory/breakdown.

This was why he was never around.

Why my mom _hated_ NABN.

Stupid little things, things I would've overlooked, all came crashing down at once around me. My father, Jackson-fucking-Hyde, was standing in front of me.

My father who left me when I was a baby.

My father who left me to deal with a freak power by myself.

My father who made Apex a violent hell-hound.

My father who _ruined my life_.

I started changing before I knew what was happening. My canines grew into sharp knives, black fur sprouting from my knuckles, and my eyes burning into a glorious gold.

"Get away from me," I snarled in between gasps. Jackson tried taking a step towards me but I slammed him backwards. The people around us shrieked and leapt back as I stepped forward, a new power taking control of me.

I stood over him, a sick grin on my face as my claws grew. A low growl was coming from deep in my throat and even though I wasn't in my full wolf-form, I still didn't have control over what I was doing.

Jackson's eyes met mine and for one long moment, all we did was stare back at each other. I broke the moment by taking a step forward, raising my claws in the air and looking down at the pathetic human in disgust.

"This isn't you, Violet," the man said slowly, staring me directly in the eyes. I could see every ounce of fear, shock, and… love?

Suddenly, my anger drained and all I was left with was a hollow shell of power. Every fibre of Apex screamed at me to rip out Jackson's throat but… I couldn't do it. I turned, seeing all these people staring, whispering, crying…

…because of me.

' _I have to get out of here,_ ' I thought, backing up into the wall. My breathing increased as I looked for a hole in the crowd of people. Anywhere to get out! I didn't want to hurt anyone else.

My breathing quickened and my heart started beating faster. I needed out!

At first I didn't notice the changing; I was too distracted by the crowd and my racing heart. I didn't feel the feathers sprouting from my skin, or my teeth shrink into my gums. I didn't even realize I had changed at all until my arms shrank.

I looked down to see long black feathers in the place of fingers. Glancing up, I finally saw my opening in the crowd; into the sky.

I barely heard the screams of people as I shot up, soaring into the sky, flying higher and higher. I wasn't Violet anymore, or even a wolf for that matter – I was an _eagle_. Beautiful, dangerous, free.

Nothing could stop me. Not Hugh, not Jay, not my father.

This feeling, it was like nothing I had experienced yet. Instead of the heavy, anger of turning into the wolf, I felt like I had no limits.

I glanced down, seeing the crowd staring up at me in shock. A few people were snapping pictures, the rest just watching. Jackson was watching in awe, amazement, and another emotion I couldn't detect. But the smile on his face said it all.

I spread my wings as I soared through the sky, cutting through the clouds like a knife. Now that I was away from danger, all I could focus on was the fact that I could _fucking fly._

I don't know how long I flew, feeling the wind lift me through the air; but however long it was, it was longer than twenty minutes. It was long enough for my friends to notice my disappearance and call Scott.

And at the end of the day, once I was worn out from my long day, I set out to hunt, not remembering that I was supposed to be eating spaghetti - not mice - sleeping in a bed – not a nest – and that I was a mutant – not an eagle.

But then again, I was always forgetful.

[X]

"Professor, we have a problem."

Those were the first words that left Scott's mouth as he burst into Detention, followed by Rogue, Jubilee, and Kitty. They all had worried and guilty looks plastered on their faces. A look of understanding crossed the Professor's face.

"Violet's missing," he said evenly.

Most of the kids in Detention glanced up, recognizing Violet from either her meltdown, or just as the girl who arrived covered in blood. Either way, she was the girl who tried her hardest not to make a scene but failed devastatingly.

"She just went on a walk while we ate and when we went looking for her, she was gone but her bags were in the middle of the sidewalk!" Jubilee explained, trying to keep her voice down.

"It's like she just vanished," Rogue added.

"Nobody ever vanishes, my dear," the Professor hummed gently. "I'll take a look at Cerebro and see if something happened to her. Girls, I think it's best if you all went to your rooms and kept quiet about this for the time being."

"Quiet?" Kitty repeated, looking confused.

"We don't want to worry the other students when it could be a simple mistake," Scott explained. "If we can have Violet back in the mansion in a few hours, then there's no point in causing any worry. With all of the tension between humans and mutants lately, some of the other students might jump to conclusions."

"That makes sense," Jubilee sniffled. The three girls walked down the halls to their rooms while Scott and the Professor walked – well, rolled for one of them – down the opposite way. They made their way to the basement and to the door at the end of the hall with an X crossing it.

A blue laser shot out from the centre of the X, scanning the Professor's eyes. After a moment, an electronic voice sounded in the hall. " _Welcome Professor_."

Scott started to wait outside but the Professor looked back with a small smile on his face. "You can watch if you'd like."

Scott's face split into a grin as he followed the Professor onto the walkway. Secretly, Scott always wondered why the one room made solely for the Professor was the one that was most wheelchair dangerous.

The Professor carefully placed the helmet on his head, closing his eyes as he focused his mind.

He had used Cerebro a countless amount of times, yet it never ceased to amaze him when the space around him filled with red and white dots.

Scott watched at the Professor focused on a relatively small area of red dots – New York City. Mutants rushed past him, cut-off sentences buzzing through his ears as the Professor sorted through hundreds of them.

Finally, the Professor's focus came on a single mutant, moving fast and erratically. Scott's eyes narrowed. "Where's she going?"

"I don't know," the Professor answered after a moment. "She's running from something…"

"What is it?"

There was a long pause. "Professor?" Scott asked after a moment.

"It's difficult to read someone's mind through Cerebro as it is, let alone when she's a bird," the Professor mused. The red dots surrounding them instantly shrunk and the Professor took off the helmet.

"Bird?" Scott repeated. "But I thought she could only change into a-"

"Wolf?" the Professor filled in the blanks. "Her powers have grown. My guess is that she saw something unpleasant – something scared Violet. It seems like her mutation only makes an appearance under heightened stress."

"So where is she then? Should I take the team out to go get her?" Scott asked and the Professor instantly shook his head, wheeling out of the circular room.

"We can't risk scaring her anymore; who knows what else she can do… or what Apex can do…" A distant look appeared in the Professor's eyes and Scott looked down at him in confusion. There was an unmistakable trace of worry on the Professor's face.

"Are you okay?"

The Professor shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Yes, fine. Violet's a bright girl and she'll have to stop running eventually. I'll keep an eye on her and when she finally settles down, I'll let you take a team out."

Scott didn't immediately reply; he still looked a little worried. "Professor… are you scared of Violet?"

"No!" the Professor answered instantly. "Violet is a sweet girl and just like any new mutant, is learning to deal with her powers."

"Then what are you worried about?" Scott pressed.

The Professor sighed. "Out of all the mutants I've come across, I've found that shape-shifters are always the ones who have the biggest need for belonging. Maybe it's because after wearing so many faces, they forget who they are anymore or maybe it's because they never knew to begin with."

"And you're worried that's going to happen to Violet?" Scott guessed.

"I'm worried that she's going to latch on to the first identity she forms and hold on to it. She needs stability, she needs _belonging_ , but wherever Violet's gone, she hasn't quite fit in," he explained. "She was rejected by her brother, by her classmates, and has been having trouble fitting in here, as well. Because of her shapeshifting and unwillingness to accept her mutation, Violet has formed minor multiple-personalities."

"Her power – Apex - and her," Scott said out loud. "So I've heard."

"Apex is hostile, aggressive… destructive. I'm worried about what Violet could do if she clings onto Apex to feel a sense of wholeness. I've seen into the mind of Apex and it's not a pretty sight."

"Why is this all coming out now, Professor?" the younger mutant asked.

"She just discovered a new piece of her mutation. So far, Violet can change into a wolf and an eagle. Both are dangerous, but manageable. Now imagine what would happen if, say, a tiger with Apex's personality was let loose in a busy New York Street."

Scott's eyes widened as an image of a body-littered street popped into his mind. At the end of the street was Violet, with two gleaming yellow eyes. Violet, she would break down after realizing what she had done; Apex… not so much.

Violet was a dangerous, aggressive mutant with identity problems and the ability to easily kill a mass amount of people… and they just lost her.

 **A/N: The last scene was added mainly because I thought the chapter was a tad short but then it turned into an important discussion between the Professor and Scott. Whoops! Anyway, read and review!**

 **I love you all!**


	10. F Also Happens to be for Forgiveness

_So many stars in the sky and I wonder why  
they always have to fall on me.  
Maybe I'm blind to all of the signs  
that the world never wanted me._

-Guilttripping, FrnkIero AndThe Cellebration

My eyes scanned the forest floor, landing on a mouse, nibbling on a seed. Within a second, I was swooping down, my claws sinking into its flesh and let it hopelessly squeak in terror. I dug my talons in, ending its life and securing my meal.

It didn't take me long to devour my meal; I was hungry and for some reason, my hunting skills were off. It was like whenever I went in for a kill, there was something in the back of my mind screaming at me but the words were muffled.

I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as I landed on a nearby branch. It was a beautiful day and feeling the sun on my black feathers always sent a rush of warmth through my body,

Squeaky mewing snapped me out of my trance and I looked down from my branch to see two kittens tumbling over each other. Their mother was nowhere to be found and it would be so easy to just swoop down and pick one up.

' _Like taking candy from a baby_ ,' I thought to myself. After a moment, the words actually registered in my brain and I had no idea what it meant. I didn't even know what candy was. I focused my attention back on the kittens. The black one had the brown one pinned to the ground.

Nah, I won't kill them. Not today at least.

There was a rustling in the bushes and the mother popped out, mewing loudly and racing to her young. She looked around, licking them both on the head and herding them over to the bushes and away from danger. The danger of me.

' _I remember when my mother did that for me,_ ' I thought warmly.

I spread my wings to take flight when I froze, a sudden realization hitting me. Once again, the words in my head didn't quite make sense. Well, it wasn't that they didn't make sense but that I couldn't _remember_ my own mother.

No matter how hard I thought, I couldn't picture her feathers or beak or _anything_. It was like she never existed.

' _Or she wasn't an eagle,_ ' a small voice said.

But if she wasn't an eagle then that would mean I'm not an eagle and… wait…

The pieces started to fall together. It wasn't like I had over analyzed my past before but now that I think about it, I could barely remember anything about myself except for the past couple of days. Suddenly my feathers and beak started to feel odd, like they didn't belong.

' _What's your name? Just think of your name and everything will make sense_ ,' the voice told me. ' _Think_!'

Name. What was my name?

V… It started with a V, I know that much.

Via… Vio… Viola?

 _Violet_.

And with that final thought, the last piece clicked into place and I found myself changing. My feathers started to shrink into my arms and my talons shortened into toenails. I was no longer an eagle, I was a human again.

But maybe I should have figured all this out from a branch closer to the ground because as soon as I found myself with skin and hair, I was falling. It didn't even register in my brain that I was falling because the feeling of flying was so used to me.

It only actually hit me a second before I reached the ground and the only thing I could think of was: _Shit_.

My body connected with the ground and a loud _THUMP_ echoed through the forest. Aches rocked my bones and my skin was set on fire with scrapes, cuts, and scratches from where the branches hit me on the way down. Tiny pink scratches littered my body and some had little pricks of blood appearing in them.

I let out a low groan as I pushed myself off the ground. Within a minute, I had managed to go from an elegant bird of prey to face-first on the ground with twigs in my hair and dirt smeared all over my face. Not to mention the fancy, shape-shifting clothes the Professor got me were now torn. He had specifically gotten me clothes made to not be destroyed, and just look what I had gone and done.

"Where am I?" I groaned aloud, shakily leaning up against a tree. My legs felt really weird since I haven't been using them for a few days and it took me a moment to get used to them. Once I did, I looked around in confusion.

I knew I was in a forest, I just didn't know _where_ and how far from the Institute I was. When you're an eagle, you're not exactly paying attention to street names - as if I would have recognized them anyway. One thing I did know though was which direction to get to the nearest road - that much I remembered from my time as a bird of prey.

The half hour to get to the road was a grueling one to say the least. For one, it was still weird to walk on my legs after flying everywhere for a few days, and not to mention I was still sore from falling out of a tree and my nose was bleeding.

And one other little fact: I wasn't wearing shoes.

The Professor didn't have any fancy transforming shoes for me to wear so all I had was the shredded clothes on my back and some good sized bruises forming all over my body.

By the time I reached the narrow dirt road, my feet were bleeding, freezing, and completely numb. And that was only from walking through the forest; when I reached the road, there wasn't a single car in sight. I would have to keep walking until someone drove by.

' _You could always let me be free,_ ' a voice in the back of my head spoke. It didn't have a tone or an accent or anything; I couldn't even tell if the voice was male or female but I instantly knew that it belonged to Apex.

"I did and that ended up with me living out in the wilderness for a few days because I thought I was human," I grumbled aloud. At least there was no one around to judge me.

After another five minutes, I was seriously debating whether I should turn into a wolf or not. For one, I was starting to get the hang of this wolf thing – the eagle is what I was worried about – just so I wasn't so damn cold. For one, it was winter and two, it's not like I was dressed appropriately or anything.

I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and leggings, both of which were ridiculously dirty and pretty ripped up. Apex's fur might be nice at a time like this…

I snapped out of my internal debate when a truck horn sounded and I turned to see a large semi-truck coming down the dirt road. I swear to God I nearly peed myself in excitement as I jumped up and down, making sure he saw me.

The truck slowed to a stop and the passenger door swung open, revealing a man in a red flannel shirt, a vest, and a trucker's cap, in the driver's seat. He didn't say anything, he just jerked his head to tell me to get inside.

I was hit with a wave of warmth as I climbed into the truck, cupping my hands to my mouth and breathing into them. "Jesus, what happened to you?" the man asked as I slammed the door shut. I admit, it must have been an odd sight to see a freezing, bleeding, bruised, and dirty teenage girl on the side of a dirt road.

"You wouldn't believe if I told you," I snorted somewhat bitterly.

The man eyed me up and down suspiciously before twisting in his seat and reaching for something in the back. After a second of rifling through his things, he pulled out another ratty, red flannel shirt and tossed it to me. "Here, put that on. Don't need you freezin' to death in my truck."

"Thanks," I smiled slightly, pulling the over-sized shirt over my tiny frame. It hung off me like a blanket but it was warm and soft.

"Where ya headed?" the driver asked after a moment.

"New York City," I answered as I clicked my seatbelt into place.

"New York's a big place. Anywhere in particular you need to get dropped off?" he asked and I paused. I could get dropped off at the Institute and go on living my life like nothing had happened… but I knew I couldn't do that.

"Can you get me anywhere near the NABN station?" The driver shot me an odd look but nodded.

"I'm passing by there anyway," he said with a shrug. We fell into a silence as he drove and I shivered. After about a two minute silence, it finally hit me that I was in a truck with a strange man who may or may not try to kill me and cut me up into little bits.

Maybe I should attack him, throw him out of his truck and drive the rest of the way myself? If worst comes to worst, I can release the wolf and rip him to shreds.

"What's yer' name, kid?" he asked after another few minutes of me internally debating whether I should go all Apex on him.

There was a short pause before I finally answered with, "Violet."

"Nice to meet you, Violet. My name is Eugene Walters," he introduced, leaning over to shake my hand. I tentatively shook his hand, my suspicions of kidnap, rape, and murder still running through my mind. I was still staring at him as he glanced awkwardly over. "Everything okay?"

"Are you going to rape me?" I just went out and said it. To be honest, the words left my mouth before I even knew I was saying them.

Eugene's eyes widened in shock for a second as he glanced between me and the road. "No ma'am," he finally said. "I've got a wife and kid at home, I don't need anything from a stranger off the side of the road."

Oh. Now I feel kind of bad for asking.

"Okay," I hummed looking out the window. "Uh, thanks."

"So how about a story?" Eugene asked. "It's a long drive to NYC and I'd love to know how a gal like you ended up in the middle of nowhere."

I paused for a moment, thinking it over. What could he do if I told him I was a mutant? If he turned out to be some anti-mutant asshole, I could just go along with my original plan and attack him. Making up my mind, I told him everything. Start to finish.

I left out the part about me murdering multiple people though, I didn't feel like that was necessary.

The entire time, Eugene stayed silent, occasionally nodded along with a concentrated look on his face. Once I was done, we were starting to reach the city limits and the sun was setting in the sky.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Eugene spoke. "Wow, that's quite a story, missy."

I only hummed in response, unsure of what to say. I still couldn't tell if he was pro-mutant or anti-mutant. After a moment or two of him not saying anything else, I turned to him with an odd look on my face. "Is that it?"

Eugene glanced from the road to me. "What?"

I shifted a bit in my seat. "I just told you this huge story about how I'm a mutant, how my brother hates me, and how I ran into my father after never even meeting him and all you say is that it's quite a story?" My voice was getting louder with every word. "Don't you have anything to say about that?"

"Well it _was_ quite a story," he mumbled under his breath. "I do have to admit you seem to have bad luck though. What am I supposed to say?"

"Usually people have something to say about me being a mutant," I admitted. "I've been shot twice and that isn't even the worst that most mutants face…" I've heard the horror stories and I know they were why I was forced to hide my powers from humans for so many years.

"Oh," Eugene hummed. "That's a shame."

More silence.

I looked the trucker up and down. From his mud-caked boots to his red cap; he was exactly the type of person you would expect to hate mutants and call us a sin. But he just looked so… relaxed. Like he couldn't care less that I was a mutant.

"Eugene… do you not even care that I'm a mutant?" I asked slowly and he grinned.

"Bingo," he laughed. "Honestly, I'm not anti-anythin' or pro-anythin'. If you're a mutant, that's just swell, an' if you're not, well that's just fine too."

"Huh," I said, unable to say anything else. I grew up thinking that humans hated mutants with the few humans here and there who supported us, but I never really thought about someone just not having an opinion. "Okay then."

"We'll be comin' up to the station soon, where d'ya need to get dropped off?" he asked and I looked out the window to see we were already in town. It had started raining about ten minutes ago and was now pounding down hard.

"Um, just let me out at this corner and I can walk the rest of the way," I told him. As he pulled up to the stop, I turned to him. "By the way, thanks for not raping me."

Eugene chuckled, shaking his head slightly, and tipping his cap at me. "Anything for the lady."

I opened the door and gave the man one final wave before climbing out. I took a few steps back and watched as Eugene drove away, honking his horn once at me. That long honk he gave me before he disappeared around the corner was the last I heard of Eugene Walters.

I started down the street, a strategy forming in my head. It was raining badly, turning the dirt coating my clothes into mud and plastering my hair to my face.

I would break into the station, taking down anyone who got in my way, and find where Jackson Hyde lives… and then kill him. I'd slaughter him for the living hell he put me through; I wouldn't have been bullied if he stayed. I wouldn't have anger issues if he had stayed. My mother would still be alive if he had stayed.

The scary part isn't that someone is going to be murdered tonight. The scary part is that this is all Violet, Apex remained silent.

He didn't whisper anything in my ear or push the idea in my mind; I had come up with it all by myself.

I reached the building where NABN was filmed and I slowed my pace. The building was surrounded by a chain-link fence with barbed wire at the top. It didn't look like a prison or anything, just a building built to keep creepy fans out.

…Or murderers.

It wasn't exactly difficult to get in. They must have been so sure that the barbed wire would scare people away that they didn't even lock the gate. One lazy employee and someone ends up murdered. The door wasn't locked either and my guess is that the janitor was finishing up some cleaning and didn't bother locking anything.

I stepped out of the rain and into a long hallway with doors on both sides. There was one ajar door with flickering light from a TV shining through it. I took one step towards it, leaving a wet footprint behind me. Another step, another footprint.

Every memory, every off-handed comment from my classmates, every tantrum, every _death_ ; they all raced through my mind with each new step as I came closer to the room. I didn't even know if Jackson would be in there, but some instinct inside of me screamed at me that he was.

I slowly pushed the door open, letting it creek slightly. Lo and behold, a man was sitting on a couch, his slicked back hair starting to fall in his face and his eyes glued on the TV. Jackson lifted a glass of scotch to his lips, tipping his head back and downing the rest of the glass.

I pushed the door the rest of the way open, making it hit the wall with a slight thud. Jackson glanced over carelessly but when his eyes landed on me, they widened and he shot up, the scotch glass slipping and shattering when it hit the floor. "Violet…" he breathed. I couldn't begin to imagine what he was thinking right now; his estranged daughter, standing soaking in his doorway, covered in scratches and bruises. And the look in my eyes... he knew what I was here for.

"You… you're my father," I said slowly. "And you left me…"

"Please just listen to me," Jackson pleaded, holding his hands up. "I know I've hurt you but all I ask is for you to listen to me."

"You want me to listen to you," I snarled, feeling fur sprout from my skin. I didn't even fight Apex as he came out. "After all you've done to me, you want me to _listen to you_?"

Jackson backed away, fear evident on his face. With every step he took backwards, I took one towards him. "You ruined me! I have no friends, no family, no _life_ , because of you! Because you were too selfish to deal with your own mistakes!" I was full-on screaming by now but God, it felt _good_.

All my life I've been trying to stifle my anger, count to ten, and hold back the Apex inside of me. But on these few occasions, the ones where I truly let myself free, they made me feel more alive than I had my whole life. Attacking Clyde, revealing Apex to Jay, and now _finally_ , ending Jackson's life.

" _This is all your fault_!" I roared. I dropped onto four paws, baring my razor teeth at him. My ebony fur stood on end and my claws clicked against the cement as I drew closer to the traitor. Control was flickering between me and Apex, but I held strong.

Jackson was backed up against the wall, his eyes showing nothing but apologies that he would never have the chance to say. "Violet," he started. "I forgive you."

The second he said the words, I froze. And then I got angry.

I lunged, knocking Jackson to the ground and snarling down at him. He tried crawling back but I put my paws on his chest, pinning him down. Saliva hung from my jaws as the urge to rip his throat open grew stronger and stronger. My entire body was shaking with pure, immeasurable rage.

"I know," Jackson mumbled, quiet at first, and then louder. "I know you've done horrible things and they haunt you. I know you're plagued with nightmares every night because of the things you've done. And I know… I know that all you want is forgiveness. So Violet, I forgive you. I understand and I forgive you."

I paused, staring down at Jackson. Not as the father who stole my childhood from me, but as the person who _understands_.

This entire time, no one truly understood what I was going through. Hugh didn't know what it was like to deal with my mutation, my mother didn't understand the pressures she was putting on me, Nori didn't get that I had no control over Apex… but Jackson did.

He knew.

I transformed back into myself, falling off my father and collapsing on the floor in heavy breaths. "How?" I whimpered, staring at him with watery eyes. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Because I've lived through it," he breathed. "Every day I was hounded by the guilt of leaving you and Hugh behind. When I found out what happened to your mother, I knew I was to blame. If I had been there for you, maybe things could have been different. When I saw you on the streets, I thought it was a second chance. I thought that if I could make things right with you, then I could somehow change everything that's happened." Jackson chuckled darkly. "But when you ran – or _flew_ – away, I knew I had already caused too much damage to be reversed."

"Maybe you haven't." I spoke the words before I even knew what I was saying. "If I can be forgiven, so can you."

I held out my hand. Jackson looked at it, almost like it was a dream, before slowly reaching out and grasping it. I pulled my hand away, offering him a small smile.

"I know I've missed a lot and I don't deserve to be a part of your life but, if you don't mind, I'd like to," Jackson said, looking down at the floor for a second. "I'll get you a cup of hot chocolate and then we can talk."

A few minutes later, I found myself wrapped in a blanket and huddled on the couch in the NABN lounge. There was still hate in my heart that I don't know would ever go away, but a lot of the pent up anger had diminished - at least for now. The hot mug warmed my hands as Jackson sat down next to me. "I have so much to tell you," he breathed. "And so much I want to know."

"You first," I urged with a slight smile. It hit me how odd it was that I could go from wanting to murder this man one second to wanting to know everything about him the next. I think there was always a part of me who wanted to know my father, I just covered that up with hate instead.

Jackson told me as much as he could in those three hours that we sat on the couch. I found out about his alcohol addiction in High School, when my mother got pregnant and they had to drop out to raise me and Hugh. Even though he loved us to death, Jackson couldn't give up the alcohol.

He fought with my mother nearly every day over money, booze, and us. Jackson wasn't ready for kids, and whenever he swallowed a bottle, he couldn't help but imagine what life would be like if he invested a few extra dollars in a better condom. I'm not going to lie, that part hurt a bit to hear.

The dreams started following him around when he was sober too, and one day, he finally broke. Jackson doesn't know why it was that day – it was just like any regular day – but for some reason, it was too much for him to deal with and he left.

The first year was everything he dreamt of. Jackson lived life the way he wanted to with no responsibility, no crying children or nagging girlfriend. But when the second year rolled around, that's when he started to miss us.

He tried coming home on several occasions but my mother wouldn't let him back. In that one year, he had already missed so much; our first words, our first steps, hours of diaper changing and cleaning up after messes. He wasn't there to teach us to talk or wake up late in the night to soothe us; my mother wasn't able to let him back in when he felt like being a parent.

After six months of begging my mother to come back, he finally accepted that he wouldn't be a part of our lives and left, once again. This time, he found himself in America, working for a small news station called New York Broadcasting Network, as a camera man. He gave up alcohol - to the best of his ability - and only indulges occasionally when he's working late. He refuses to have any in his home.

NYBN became NABN and Jack, the camera man, became Jackson Hyde, the polished news reporter.

One day, just like any other, Jackson was walking down the street, and in front of him stood an angel. Brown hair, bright green eyes, small build; Holly Hopkins. His ex-girlfriend who forced him out of his life so many years ago.

Only it wasn't. It was me, _Violet_ Hopkins. He realized that after a second of staring, that my features were sharper, with higher cheekbones and a pointed jaw. My eyes were also slightly bigger, and my cheeks were covered in small bumps and redness, unlike my mothers were.

"You know what happened after that," Jackson said with a smile and I nodded. "Now I think it's your turn."

I glanced at the wall clock, my jaw parting slightly when I saw the time. It was already past midnight. "I need to get back to the Institute."

"Institute?" Jackson questioned and I nodded quickly.

"It's a school for mutants like me. I've been missing these past few days and they must be worried about me."

"But I want to get to know my daughter," Jackson argued with a slight grin. "Can't you stay for another hour or two?"

"I have to be getting back." I looked sadly at my father with a smile. "Listen, I'll find you again and then I'll tell you everything you want to know. But for now, I need to get back to the school."

"Okay," Jackson finally sighed. "But this can't be the end of it. I just got my daughter back and I don't plan on losing her again. Now all I need to do is find Hugh and we can be one big happy family."

I flinched slightly at his words, looking to the ground. For one, Hugh wanted me dead, and for another, one member of our 'happy family' was already dead. We were forever incomplete.

Jackson seemed to catch onto my sadness and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. He didn't say anything else about the topic and instead asked, "Do you need a ride home?"

I was about to accept his offer when a needle of suspicion pricked my skin. Sure, these last few hours have been surreal, but I still couldn't help but wonder if Jackson is all he says he is. If he has any ulterior motives, I couldn't lead him to where dozens of mutants stayed.

"That's fine," I declined. "I'll find my own way home."

"I understand," Jackson replied with a nod. "Be safe."

I nodded, walking towards the door. "Goodbye, Jackson." He dipped his head towards me as I pushed open the door, stepping into the rain once again.

It wasn't coming down as heavy but there was still enough to get me wet as I walked down the street. After a few minutes of getting drenched, I finally had enough and transformed into a wolf, picking up the pace to a sprint.

It was weird… whenever I summoned Apex by myself, I had little problem controlling him. But when my anger sparked his release, that's when I lost sight of who I was and my morals. Maybe if I learned how to control my emotions, more control over my powers would come with it.

About twenty minutes of running through the cold, I finally reached familiar gates. It felt like an eternity since I had last seen the towering mansion, the unmanageable ivy, and the polished plaque that read: Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.

The gate was obviously closed so I had to use the ivy to scale the walls. It wasn't hard by any means but changing into Apex for so long – or at least longer than I'd ever been – had physically drained me. When I made it to the top, I didn't even bother trying to climb back down, I simply let myself fall to the ground.

Yeah, it hurt like hell but it saved me time and energy.

I was exhausted as I made my way up to the front door. Jiggling it a few times, I found that it was locked (just my luck).

My temper spiked and I summoned Apex's powers. I don't know if it was a wolf or something else, but with a jolt, I heard the snapping of the bolt and hinges. Only once the door tipped back onto me did I realize it would have been easier to just break a window.

Once I was inside, I honestly tried my hardest to put the door back to the way it was – maybe I'd get lucky and the next person to use the door would think they broke it – but it was no use. It just kept on falling on me. Finally, I just set the door on the ground and slumped against a wall.

' _I just need to close my eyes for a few seconds_.' Even my thoughts sounded slurred. Yes, it would look bad if I fell asleep next to the door I had just broken, but I was so tired.

My eyes lulled shut, fluttering slightly as I fought to stay awake, before stilling. I had fallen asleep.

[X]

John was in the Rec Room when he heard noise come from the entrance. Immediately, he pulled out his lighter, flicking it open and getting ready to burn whatever was making the noise. Whether it was an intruder or just some annoying kid.

The flame moved from the lighter to his hand, forming a ball that he would throw like a baseball at someone if he really needed to… or wanted to.

But when he stepped into the hall to see a tiny brunette, swallowed up in an oversized flannel and ripped leggings underneath, he shoved his lighter into his pocket and extinguished the flame.

Soft snores were coming from Violet as she slept, leaned against the wall. Not even a foot from her, the front door lay on the ground, its hinges broken clean off. ' _This is like the second door she's broken down in a month and a half,_ ' John thought to himself as he nudged the girl with his foot. She didn't move.

John rolled his eyes, nudging her again. The girl was passed right out and it would take Siryn to wake Violet up. He sighed, giving her one last kick before giving up.

"Every time," John grumbled as he scooped the girl up. "Every _single_ time you have to come in, pass out in my arms and smelling like wet dog. All you have to do is ring the doorbell, or hey, find someone else to carry you. But _nooo_ , it just has to be me. Every time."

Honestly, John's life was so hard, sometimes he thought it was even worse than Kyle Witherson's…

Nah, nobody's life was worse than Kyle Witherson's.

Violet let out a small groan and cuddled deeper into his shirt. "Where the hell have you been?" John asked the girl. Her eyes fluttered a little and she let out another groan.

"Bird… Jackson… Eugene…" Snores. ' _Wow that was so helpful, Violet. Honestly, what would I do without you?_ '

He didn't really know where he was heading when he started to walk, but when he found himself in the boy's wing, he just went with it. He didn't know where Violet's room was and he wasn't planning on barging in on any of the other girls.

He did that to Rogue once and let's just say, it did _not_ end well.

John shifted Violet so he could grab his doorknob and push open the door. Bobby was passed out on his bed for the first time that week and John couldn't help but sigh at his timing. Of all the days to not spend the night in Rogue's room, it had to be the night that he was trying to find a place for a sleeping girl.

His eyes scanned the room for a somewhat decent place to lay Violet down. For a second, John even considered just dumping her on the floor and letting that be that, but even he wasn't cruel enough to put her through that torture. It wasn't so much the fact that she would wake up on the floor, but she's wake up on the floor of two _teenage_ boys. Clothes piled in every corner, dirty dishes were scattered around the room, and John was positive there was something rotting under the heaps of junk but he was too lazy to find it.

So being the gentleman that he is, John dumped Violet on his bed, not bothering to give her blankets or move the greasy pizza box off the foot of his bed. He just left her there to curl into his pillow herself.

Violet mumbled some words that John had to lean in to hear but when he did, he couldn't help the smug grin that crossed his face.

"John…" Violet said in her sleep. He wasn't sure if she was trying to tell him something or even if she was having naughty dreams about him, but the pyromaniac went back down to the Rec Room with a smirk on his face.

 **A/N: hope you enjoyed and let me know what you thought! If you have any recommendations for X-Men fanfictions, let me know because I'd love to read some good ones :)**


	11. You're Not the Only One

_I like the sad eyes, bad guys,  
mouth full of white lies.  
Kiss me in the corridor,  
but quick to tell me goodbye._

-Ghost, Halsey

I didn't remember falling asleep but when I opened my eyes, I knew I was dreaming. I was back at home – not the Institute, but my actual home in Canada. I could smell the bacon sizzling on the stove, the bitter scent of coffee barely noticeable over the grease smell, and joyous laughter coming from the kitchen. Rubbing my eyes, I slipped out of bed, shuffling to the door.

I trudged down the hall, still trying to blink the sleep out of my eyes. When I came to the end of the hall which lead to the kitchen, I froze, seeing three boys, sitting at the table, laughing over some comics.

It was Gunner, Clyde, and Hugh. Except they weren't the handsome young men I'd last seen them as.

They no longer had the same chiselled jaws, toned bodies, and purposely rugged hair. Now, they were twelve year old boys with round, red cheeks, bright eyes, and too long hair.

"What's going on?" I breathed, looking at the three boys. They turned to me, their smiles falling off their faces.

"Oh," Hugh hummed, turning back to his breakfast and biting into a piece of bacon. I frowned at that, my fists clenching.

I was in a dream, I knew that, so maybe that was what gave me the courage to finally call Hugh out. "God, why have you always been so cruel to me? I'm your sister and you treat me like shit!"

"Because why not?" Clyde answered and Gunner snickered, stifling his laugh by biting into a piece of toast.

"Hugh, answer the damn question," I snarled.

Hugh swivelled around in his chair, his gaze dark – too dark to be that of a twelve year old. "This is when I started hating you, you know?"

"Why?" I repeated. I didn't notice as Clyde and Gunner stood to go put their plates in the sink.

"If you paid more attention, you would know," Hugh answered easily. "You're not the only one."

"The only what? Person you hate?" I guessed, making a face. If there was a point to this dream, I wasn't reaching it anytime soon. "You haven't answered my question yet."

"Why do I hate you now? Why _now_?" Was he just repeating my question or was he asking me? I didn't know.

"I don't know, you tell me! You're not making any sense!" I stressed, my frustration rising more at the little boy. "Just tell me why!"

"Why now, Violet? _Why now_?" Hugh's voice was steadily becoming angrier and louder. "Why, why, _why_ , WHY?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I screamed. I barely finished before I felt someone slam into me from behind, knocking me to the floor. I twisted around, just in time to see Hugh – the sixteen year old Hugh – towering over me.

"WHY NOW, VIOLET? WHY DO I HATE YOU NOW!"

I covered my eyes with my hands, digging my hairs into my head to form deep crescent shapes in the flesh. "Stop!" I yelled, curling into fetal position.

I stayed like that for at least a minute, my hands covering my face, and my breathing heavy. I slowly peeled my hands away from my face, cautious enough that I could cover them again if Hugh was still there.

But he wasn't. The kitchen was empty, save for the dirty dishes and thick smell of breakfast in the air. Hugh, Clyde, and Gunner were gone.

For the rest of the night, I dreamt of soaring through the sky.

[X]

I woke up the next morning to someone poking me rapidly on the shoulder. I let out a low growl but they didn't stop. I tried kicking them but I must have missed completely because the poking only escalated to the person shaking me.

"What?" I snarled, sitting up and flashing golden irises at my 'attacker.' Bobby stumbled back a bit but he didn't look scared. He had a confused smile on his face as he held up his hands in defense.

"Where have you been?" It came out as a yell. I shrugged, letting out a yawn as I slipped out of the bed. My feet landed on a dirty white shirt and my face crumpled in disgust when I finally realized that I had fallen asleep in a _boy's_ room.

And not just any boys – John and Bobby's room.

"How'd I get in here?" I muttered, kicking the shirt away. I discreetly tried to bury my nose in my shirt to block out the smell without Bobby seeing. "Last I remember, I was in the entrance."

"That's what I want to know," Bobby hummed. "All I know is that when I fell asleep, John was downstairs watching TV and that bed was empty. You really have a thing for entrances, you know?"

"Uh, I wouldn't really call waking up in a random bed an entrance," I replied with a shrug. "But if that's the most interesting thing that's happened since I got here…"

Bobby rolled his eyes playfully as he pulled a gray shirt on. To be honest, it hadn't even registered that he was shirtless to begin with. I must be either extremely tired or gay because Bobby has the kind of body that girls have wet dreams over.

"C'mon, I'm sure the girls would be excited to see you. Rogue, Jube, and Kitty were all worried when you disappeared like that," he explained as we made our way to the bedroom door. "And you were gone so long too! The Professor was about to send out a search party but he said something about it not being safe and scaring you off, or something like that."

' _I wasn't gone that long_ ,' I thought as Bobby led me into the hall. The first person we saw was Jay (of course) who was chatting with some kid I never met before. Jay glanced carelessly over at us, looked back at the other boy, before his head whipped back as he gaped.

"I, uh, I have to go," Jay muttered quietly to the boy before sprinting off in the other direction. I couldn't help but smile to myself. Yes, I had probably scarred him, mentally and physically, but he was such a prick that I barely felt sorry.

Besides, it was nice to have respect for once… even if it was just out of fear.

As we passed more people in the hall, I could feel myself steadily grow more self-conscious with each whisper and intense stare. I was only gone a few days, maybe five at the most, and people were staring at me like I had died and come back to life.

"Why's everyone staring at me?" I asked Bobby awkwardly, shooting him a pleading look. He snorted.

"What do you expect? You just vanished and all the sudden you're back. Even you have to admit it's kind of suspicious," he pointed out. My eyes narrowed slightly.

"It's not that weird. We live in a school full of people with super powers. I'm sure my 'disappearance' isn't the strangest thing that's happened so far." Bobby shrugged with a nod, muttering something under his breath that sounded like, "Fair enough."

"Where are we going, by the way?" I asked, realizing that I had absolutely no idea where Bobby was leading me. I'd been at the Institute for about a month now and I understood the basics of the mansion, like how to get around the girl's wing, how to get to the dining hall, kitchen, rec room, Danger Room, my classes etc.

And with all that, I still didn't even know half of the rooms in the mansion. It baffled me how Bobby could move so easily around the halls.

"To see the Professor?" He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Or at least Storm or Dr. Grey. We just need to tell _somebody_ that you're alive." It was starting to sink in that my mini vacation was actually a big deal.

But if it was such a big deal, why didn't they send someone out to look for me?

"Hey Luke, where's the Professor?" Bobby stopped some kid in the hall to ask. I vaguely recognized him as a troublemaker in Danger Room Sessions but he seemed to only know me by my reputation.

"I think he's in Cerebro with Dr. Grey," Luke answered, eyeing me up and down. I felt my cheeks redden and I shifted on the balls of my feet. This was honestly so awkward and I could just feel everyone's judgemental stares.

The only thing I wanted back in Canada was to just be unnoticed. Even if I didn't have a single friend, I just wanted to be left alone. When I came to Xavier's I thought it would be a second chance to maybe slink through life unnoticed… that hasn't been working out so well either.

Luke walked off and Bobby turned to me. "Class hasn't started yet so we should be able to catch Storm before the bell rings."

I followed Bobby silently through the halls, keeping my head down as we walked. I wrapped my flannel shirt closer to my body to hide the torn shirt underneath.

We came to an empty classroom where Storm was organizing papers behind her desk. When Bobby knocked on the door, her eyes immediately fell on me. "Violet?" she gasped, rushing towards me. "Oh my God, what happened to you?"

"Uh, I fell out of a tree if that's what you mean," I answered, showing off my ripped clothes. "A trucker gave me his shirt."

"Trucker?" Bobby repeated quietly behind me as Storm led me towards some desks. She gave Bobby a look that basically told him to leave, which he complied to.

"Tell me what happened," she urged. Then she seemed to take in my full appearance and backtracked. "You must be starving, and you need a shower… You can tell me about this later, but for now, go get yourself cleaned up."

"Uh, okay…" I stood awkwardly. I had just come down here only to be sent back to my room so I was more presentable. To be honest, I just hated walking down the halls knowing that everyone was talking about me.

When I made it to my room, the first thing I did was collapse on my bed, taking in the comfort of the mattress. After at least fifteen minutes of just lying there, I finally peeled myself off the bed and dragged myself to the bathroom.

When I saw my reflection for the first time, I couldn't help but gasp. No wonder people had been staring.

My hair looked like it was in dreadlocks from how greasy it was, my skin was splattered with mud and dirt stains and there were random cuts and bruises covering my body. To add to it, I looked skinnier, paler, and overall, shittier.

I couldn't keep looking in the mirror at the tragedy of a reflection. All I could do was tear off my clothes and step into the shower. The warm water that flooded over me was indescribable to say the least – it felt like years since I had my last shower, even if it was only a couple of days.

After a twenty minute shower and changing into fresh clothes, I went downstairs to the rec room. Sure, maybe going to Storm first would have been smarter but I wanted to see my friends again and explain to them what happened – or at least the basics.

When I stepped into the rec room, there were only a few people in it because it was a school day and everyone was probably getting ready for class. The only people in it was John, Amara, and Cal. I didn't know Amara or Cal very well but John lit up in a mischievous glow when he saw me.

"And Sleeping Ugly awakens!" he announced and the other two glanced over at me, looking mildly surprised.

"Ha ha," I laughed sarcastically. "You're as pleasant as ever."

"Well what do you want me to say then?" John retorted as I collapsed on the couch next to him. I thought for a moment.

"Good morning Violet, I hope you slept well. By the way, I'm glad you're not dead or anything since you've been missing for a few days now," I said, trying to mimic his voice. Cal chuckled a little but didn't say anything. Amara started to giggle but once my words registered in her head, she stopped, looking slightly confused.

"Days?" Amara repeated, a small frown on her face. "Violet, you've been gone for nearly three weeks."

I gaped at the girl, my eyes wide and face pale. I opened and closed my mouth, trying to form words. When I changed back from the eagle, I had thought I had only been like that for a week at the most… not three.

"Wait, so you don't even remember half of it?" Cal clarified and I nodded. "Whoa, what happened to you?"

"That's what I'd like to know." The four of us turned to see the Professor wheeling into the room, Storm walking beside him. "Violet, would you mind meeting me in my office? We have a lot to talk about."

I shared a look with Amara before standing and following the Professor out the door. I thought he would have a class to teach but he must have gotten a substitute so he could talk with me. It made me feel kind of special actually. ' _Don't get ahead of yourself_ ,' I reminded myself. ' _He would do this with anyone_.'

We reached his office in only a few minutes and Storm left to go to class. I sat in the comfy chairs that I seemed to spend every day in and looked in the Professor's eyes. "So Violet, why don't you start from the beginning. Tell me what scared you off."

"Uh, I saw my dad." I waited a second for the news to sink in for both of us. The whole thing was still so unreal that I had a hard time wrapping my head around it. "I kind of freaked out and changed into an eagle and flew off."

"I see," the Professor hummed, rubbing his chin. "Can you tell me anything after that?"

I shrugged. "Not really. I mean, I thought I remembered everything that I did while Apex was in control but I guess not. I thought I was only gone for a few days but I just found out I was gone for three _weeks_ instead."

"Apex is becoming more powerful," the Professor said aloud. We were both thinking it, he was just the one to say it. "Violet, you must understand that the more you push Apex away, the stronger he becomes. You have to learn to accept him if you ever truly want control of your abilities."

I snorted, rubbing my forehead in irritation. I'm pretty sure we already had a conversation like this before. I mean, yes, I understood what he was saying but it's a lot easier said than done. I couldn't exactly just accept the monster who killed my mother as part of me.

I changed the subject, not wanting to go over the whole 'control' thing again. "After I remembered who I was, I hitched a ride with a trucker and he brought me part of the way and I walked the rest. I vaguely remember being carried upstairs too."

"That would be John," the Professor added and I made a face. _'John was capable of being a decent human_?' "I also think this would be a good time to tell you that we keep a spare key under a rock near the door. Next time, please try not breaking down the door."

I blushed a deep shade of red. "Sorry, I have a problem with locked doors."

The Professor winked, nodding his head to the office door which I had broken down about a month ago. "I've noticed."

There was a pause and I could feel the Professor searching my mind. I instantly started thinking of random thing – flowers, kittens, trees, rocks – to try and keep my mind off the incident with my father, or the whole 'Why now?' dream I had last night. It probably wouldn't stop the Professor in the slightest but at least he'd know that I didn't appreciate the mind reading. Almost instantly, I could feel him back off.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me, Violet?" the Professor asked and immediately shook my head.

' _Well obviously not if I tried shutting you out,_ ' I thought to myself. It was unnerving to not be sure if he heard it or not. "Nothing I want to go into."

"Alright," the Professor hummed patiently. "But I do have some more information about your mutation that I would like to go over with you."

' _Fantastic._ '

The Professor pulled out a simple piece of paper with an image on it. He laid it down on the desk and I leaned over to get a better look. It was a picture of a wolf with black fur, golden eyes, and the tiniest sliver of green in them.

The Professor then lay a similar picture next to it. This time it was still a black wolf with golden eyes, but anyone could tell they were two separate wolves. The second one was taller, thinner legs, with a fluffier chest and tail, and was a darker black than the first one, which had more gray in it.

I pointed to the second one, letting my eyes meet the Professor's. "Is that Apex?" He nodded.

"I took this during one of our training sessions and compared it to the real Apex to see if you also possessed the ability to shape shift into other humans," he explained. My lips tugged down in a frown as I took a closer look at the first image.

"Wait… so this is the wolf I saw in the zoo all those years ago? How did you even get that picture?" I asked.

"The Internet is an interesting place, Violet," he answered with a chuckle. I laughter along for a moment before picking up the second picture – the one of me.

It was a simple image, taken in the Danger Room, but just looking at it told me so much. I was standing tall, proud, and calm; it was clearly one of the times when I had managed to keep Apex at bay. Ever since I first discovered that I was a mutant, I viewed Apex as this bloodthirsty monster and my wolf form as his weapon but looking at that single image made me second guess that.

I could transform into a creature that mesmerizing and I was smothering it, pretending like it didn't live inside of me. No wonder Apex was always so angry whenever he made an appearance.

I set the images down, meeting his kind blue eyes again. "So what were you saying about me being able to change into different people?"

"Unfortunately, I don't think you're able to. You see, even though you look similar to the wolf you saw in the zoo, you only share a few trivial qualities, like fur and eye color. I think you are able to manipulate a few qualities, such as hair color, eye color, or even a slight difference in height, but you'll never be able to truly look like a different person," the Professor explained.

I frowned slightly at that because being able to alter my looks would have been pretty cool. I mean, I wouldn't have just one day made myself look like a model, but I would gradually give myself bigger boobs, a better nose, and healthier hair.

But it turns out that all I could do was change my hair color. And everyone can do that! It's called hair dye and it's not exactly expensive.

"Is that it then?" I asked as the Professor slipped the two images back into his desk. "Or is there anything else?"

"Don't forget that since it's Wednesday, that means you also have a Danger Room Session in about an hour and a half. But other than that, you're free to go," the Professor responded, smiling kindly. I stood, opening my mouth to say something but closing it again. Without another word, I turned and left the Professor's office. I was tempted to ask him why he never sent anyone out to look for me but I decided against it.

The Professor probably had his reasons and there was no point in arguing over it.

I was walking down the hallway when I heard something that could have been mistaken for nails on a chalkboard – teenage girl screams. I only managed to turn around to see Jubilee's excited brown eyes before I was enveloped in a bone crushing hug. Rogue and Kitty were hanging back, trying to act nonchalant about my return, but I could see the excitement sparkling in their eyes.

"Violet!" Jubilee cheered. "Where have you been? What happened to you! Oh God, we thought you were dead. We were considering going out by ourselves to look for you!"

I laughed awkwardly, giving Kitty and Rogue hugs as well. "I was… around. I had some business to take care of."

Jubilee's face paled considerably. "You didn't kill anyone did you?"

I shared a look with Rogue. "No."

Jubilee let out a relieved breath. She fanned her face dramatically. "Phew! I thought you might have curb stomped someone."

"She can turn into a wolf, Jube," Kitty joked. "I'm sure that's a little more convenient than curb stomping."

Jubilee shrugged, shooting us all a sly smile. "You never know, maybe Violet prefers more… old fashioned tactics."

Rogue wrinkled her nose. "Something is wrong with you, Jube."

Jubilee merely brushed her hair over her shoulder and grinned widely. "Yeah, it's called being freaking awesome." I laughed along with the girls as they continued their banter.

The four of us walked casually down the hall as they filled me in on everything that happened since I was gone. They told me about how Bobby, John, and Cal scared the living daylights out of them when they were watching some Stephen King movie. How Rogue walked in on Bobby when he was getting changed. How Kitty and Colossus, though they were calling him Piotr, kissed. Though Kitty assured us that she felt nothing and that she was interested in someone else (to which Rogue responded with narrowed eyes and a slight scowl). How Nori blew up yet another TV. How someone stole Scott's glasses but gave them back when he blew a hole through a wall.

How literally anything that could possibly be considered interesting happened in the three weeks that I wasn't there. I swear to God, the President could fly in on a jetpack and I would have been sick that day.

"Anyway," Kitty started after laughing over yet another incident that I missed. "I don't know if anyone's told you this yet but we're taking a school-wide field trip tomorrow to the museum."

I wrinkled my nose. "The museum?" I groaned.

For one, I hate field trips. I haven't gone on one since seventh grade because I pretended to be sick every time a field trip would roll around. And two, it was at a _museum_.

"Don't worry, it'll be fun!" Jubilee replied with a grin. "The school goes once a year and the Professor usually buys us all ice cream on the way back."

Kitty's gaze darkened. "Unless John ruins it somehow," she snarled. Rogue and I glanced between the two girls who were both scowling.

"Explain?" I asked weakly.

"John has been here since he was like, thirteen and every single year, he manages to cause a scene in one way or another. Last year he set the mutant protestors on fire, the year before that he started a fire in the Caveman exhibit. Honestly, he _always_ does something. I think he thinks its tradition now," Jubilee explained.

"Maybe this year will be different?" Rogue offers. The two girls exploded in laughter. The brunette shrunk away, her pale cheeks tinted with pink.

Kitty started after the laughter died down, "Rogue, you have been here long but long enough that you should know that St. John Allerdyce does _not_ miss the chance to set something on fire. He will cause a scene and ruin ice cream for us, just you wait. And if he doesn't, I'm damn sure he'll melt it before we can eat it."

After that entire rant, the only thing I actually took from that was John's name – he was a _saint_?

"Who the blue fuck made John a saint?" I blurted. There was a moment before everyone started laughing while I just stood confused.

Kitty wiped the tears from her eyes. "Oh my God Violet, you kill me."

…That didn't answer my question at all.

"We asked him the exact same thing and he got all pissy and tried setting us on fire," Jubilee explained. "We had to Google it but _apparently_ , according to that amazing thing called the Internet, St. John is pronounced like Sinjin or something like that in some countries."

"When we called John that, he exploded. I swear to God, if I couldn't phase through walls, I'd be a burnt mark on the floor right now," Kitty added and I snorted. I could totally imagine John doing something like that.

Realization sparked in Rogue's eyes. "Wait, is that why there were scorch marks all over the Rec. room when I first got here?" The girls nodded. Rogue looked like she was lost in a memory, her mouth slightly parted and her eyes wide in awe. Finally, she said, "Well _damn_."

Jubilee and Kitty giggled helplessly as John passed, us all looking at him with amusement in our eyes. His gray eyes narrowed as he scanned each of our faces before he kept on walking. After he was gone, the two girls burst into even more extreme laughter.

When the laughter died down, I remembered what the Professor had said. "Right, it is Danger Room day!"

The other girl's all looked a little shocked, clearly having lost track of time. "Crap!" Jubilee exclaimed. "We need to get going!"

Jubilee grabbed Kitty's wrist, dragging her down the hall. I expected them to turn at the corner but they just phased through the wall. I don't know why it even still even surprised that they did that.

Rogue tugged at my shoulder. "C'mon, we're going to be late!"

I ran after Rogue into the girls' wing before going into my own bedroom. I quickly redid my hair, pulling it into a tight ponytail, and changing into some leggings and a loose t-shirt from the clothes the Professor had made for me.

Only a few minutes later, I was downstairs, pulling my sneakers on as I hopped towards the Danger Room doors. The doors slid open to reveal a line of students, some looking shocked to see me, and others looking a little annoyed that I was so late.

"Uh, hi," I said awkwardly, jogging up to stand in line next to Bobby.

"Glad you could join us, Violet," Scott greeted. He smiled at me but didn't say anything about my absence for the past few weeks. "As I was saying, today's Danger Room Session will be an obstacle course. You will run through the course as teams and whoever gets the best time wins."

"What are we playing for?" Luke asked and a few people sniggered.

"Luke," Scott started with a sigh. "When have we ever played for anything?"

Luke shrugged. "I don't know, I just thought you might want to jazz things up a bit." More sniggers.

Scott simply sighed but didn't say anything else to the younger boy. He just divided us into teams. I was on a team with Luke, Amara, Nori, Bobby, and Jubilee, with Colossus, Kitty, Jay, John, Jaimie, and Rogue on the other team. We were given three minutes to strategize.

The obstacle course looked kind of like a super intense military course. The first obstacle was a giant steel wall that was about ten feet high with a muddy pool on the other side for us to jump into. Next was just empty space with paintball gins aimed at it, leading into a tower that we had to climb up a net to get to. There wasn't any way to get off the tower though. At the bottom of the tower, there was another empty space, this time filled with red lasers. If you touched a laser, you had to start over from the beginning of the course.

At the very end of the course, there were six pathways, each with their own obstacles. At the end of each path was a red button that we would all have to push at the same time.

Our team huddled up, Nori going out of her way to stay on the opposite side of the group from me. I almost rolled my eyes because I figured we could have moved past this when I got back.

Bobby and Luke were strategizing so fast I could barely hear a thing they said, something about ice and walls and buttons. It was honestly a blur to me and judging from the look Amara shot me, she felt the same.

"So are we ready?" Luke asked. Without even waiting for anyone to reply, he broke away from the group with a cheer. I could only blink my eyes and follow him to the course.

Scott didn't blow his whistle right away, but he walked over to me, something in his hand. When he got closer, I could see it was a black leather bracelet with three white dots on it. "The Professor had these made for everyone when you were gone to help make Danger Room Sessions safer."

I slipped the bracelet on my wrist as he explained. "The bracelet tracks your breathing patterns, heartbeat, and adrenaline level. If anything were to happen to you, the Danger Room would freeze and someone would come help you. It also has a GPS in it so if something were to happen outside of the Danger Room, help would be on its way. You don't have to wear it outside the DR, but we'd recommend it."

I looked down at the bracelet again. One of the white dots had turned a pale shade of green when I slipped it on. "Basically green means everything is fine, yellow means you're hurt but it's no reason for concern, orange is a little more serious but it depends how much danger you're actually in before we'll intervene, and red is serious and means immediate intervention," he explained.

"Fancy," I muttered, examining my bracelet. Glancing around the room, I saw a faint green light on everybody's wrist. I opened my mouth to saw something else but Scott was already walking away.

' _Okay then, I guess it's time to see if this thing really works.'_

I took my spot at the beginning of the course, leaning down slightly so I could take off easier. I waited… 3…2…1… GO!

The six of us took off, sprinting towards the steel wall without pause. Ice shot from Bobby's hands, forming a staircase in front of us and over the wall. I nearly slipped running up it but made it to the top, dropping into the mud without hesitation.

I didn't even take a moment to catch my breath before launching myself towards the empty space. Jubilee, Nori, and Amara set on trying to blow up the guns with their powers while I sprinted forward, directly towards a gun.

I could see the shocked faces as I morphed into a wolf, closing my jaws around the barrel of the gun, crushing the plastic. I transformed back into a human in time to see Nori backing away with a terrified expression on her face. I flinched back like I had been hit. Did she honestly think I had intentions to hurt her?

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I turned back to the course, seeing that most of the guns were destroyed. As a group, we sprinted forward, moving on to the next obstacle. I leapt onto the net, scrambling to get up while Luke sprang past me, to the top of the tower. Bobby used his ice to carry himself to the top while the rest of us girls were left to scramble.

' _If you let me help, you would get to the top faster_ ,' Apex's voice whispered in the back of my mind. Usually I was good at ignoring him but this time, two words came to mind:

 _Fuck it._

Focusing on the same feeling of freedom I got when first changing into the eagle, I let my arms morph into two huge, black wings, as I flew to the top. I could see the stares coming at me in every direction and I even heard Jaimie mumble, "I thought she could only change into a wolf."

"I guess not," Jay replied. He didn't sound too enthusiastic.

' _Sorry Honey, you're not the only one with wings._ '

I landed at the top of the tower, taking a few seconds to force Apex back down again. He wasn't happy about it though and almost immediately after changing into a human again, I was hit with a throbbing headache, my vision filling with spots for a few heartbeats.

I rubbed my temples to ease the pain and stumbled towards the other side of the tower. It was a clear drop to the bottom, much like the first obstacle, but this one didn't have a mud pit to catch my fall at the bottom.

Bobby appeared in front of me, standing on a platform of ice. "Need a lift?"

"I'd rather not jump," I joked, taking his hand and stepping onto the ice platform. I had only been surfing once when my family went to California for Christmas, but those five seconds of being carried by ice felt exactly like it – the only difference being that the water I was surfing on was frozen.

Bobby's powers got us to the other side of the red lasers without incident, and he dropped me off, going back to help the others. I had to wait for everyone else to catch up with me because we had to push the buttons at the same time, but when they did, we all chose a different pathway.

My path had flying paintball guns – I know, the shit you can afford when you're as rich as the Professor – and a giant hole in the floor, _just_ too big to jump over.

I ran at the guns full speed, morphing into a wolf as I leapt, crushing it between by jaws. I jumped again, swinging the gun in my mouth and slamming it into another one of the guns. With only one gun left, I morphed into an eagle again, digging my talons into it and flying up.

When I was high enough, I plummeted, sending the drone crashing into the ground in an explosion that burned my feather. I quickly flew to the other side of the hole and morphed back into a human, trying to ignore the painful headache that blinded my vision.

"Is everyone ready?" Amara yelled.

"One sec," Nori answered. A heartbeat later, the Danger Room lit up with blue electricity and some drones dropped to the ground. "Yeah!"

"On the count of three," Luke yelled, holding his hand over a red button. I did the same. "One… Two… Three!"

I slammed my hand into the red button and a second later, an automatic voice sounded. " _Danger Room Session complete. Time: seven minutes and forty-six seconds_."

We all cheered, running together for a group hug. Before I can hug anyone though, Luke jumped away from me. "Ew, you're bleeding!"

For a horrifying second I thought I got my period, but then I noticed everyone staring at my face, not my pants. I touched my nose, pulling back to see crimson. I hadn't even noticed the blood.

"You hit your face?" Scott asked, jogging up to us. He tossed me a towel which I pressed to my nose.

"No, it's fine," I lied. I had a pounding headache from morphing into an eagle, and it escalated when I changed straight from a wolf to an eagle. I guess when I overwork my abilities, the consequences are a migraine and a nosebleed.

But even if the pain and blood was horrible, it still couldn't take me off my good mood. Because I had just unleashed Apex without anything _too_ bad happening. I had used Apex for a good cause, and that made me feel better than I could have imagined.

I was actually in such a good mood that I hadn't even noticed the green light on my bracelet fade to orange.


	12. And So it Begins

_Blood still stains when the sheets are washed  
Sex don't sleep when the lights are off  
Kids are still depressed when you dress them up  
And syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup_

-Sippy Cup, Melanie Martinez

"John, a museum is a place for learning, for understanding our past and creating a better future. It is _not_ a place where you can show off for your friends by starting fires."

I stifled a laugh as Storm lectured John, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyebrows furrowed. John had an easy grin on his face as he played with his lighter, flicking it off and on. We had only been at the museum for five minutes before John 'juggled' balls of fire and nearly gave an old lady a heart attack. Admittedly, it was pretty cool, but Storm didn't seem to think so.

"I don't get the big deal," John said with a shrug, snapping his lighter closed.

"You almost lit a painting on fire, John," Kitty pointed out and John rolled his eyes melodramatically.

"I did not," he argued. "And I didn't mean about lighting things on fire, I meant about hiding the fact that we're mutants. I have freaking _superpowers_ and I can't even show it. What's the point of all this 'mutant pride' crap you've been drilling into our heads if we can't even express it."

Okay, that was _true_. I've never once seen anyone actually use their powers openly in public since I've come to Xavier's. The only time I've actually seen a mutant use their powers in public was when I was thirteen and some girl was getting really angry at her boyfriend and the ground started cracking around her.

John sure did have a point; but then again, aren't I a hypocrite for agreeing with him? The thought of exposing myself in public sounds like a _nightmare_.

"This has nothing to do with mutant pride, John," Storm sighed. "This has to do with you putting people in risk by trying to show off. This is a safety concern."

"Storm, I _control_ fire. I think I could put one out if anything were to happen," John pointed out.

"Just knock it off John. Can't we go on at least one school trip without you making a scene?" Bobby asked, looking annoyed. John turned to Bobby, leaning back slightly and biting his lip, as if he were forcing himself to stop from saying something soul-crushing. Instead, he just shook his head and muttered, "Whatever," under his breath.

"Right," Jean broke the awkward silence by stepping forward. "Why don't we all head to the dinosaur exhibit, shall we?"

A quiet murmur rippled through the crowd of mutants as they kept walking. John, Bobby, Rogue, and I hung at the back though. The second the teachers had turned away, John glared at Bobby. "Really? You can't have my back for anything, can you?"

"John, you were juggling balls of fire. Of course he's not going to defend you for that," Rogue argued, twining her gloved fingers with Bobby's. "Just don't make a scene and nothing would have happened."

John laughed bitterly. "For the love of God, I was just joking around. I wasn't planning on burning the place to the ground, I just want to have a little fun."

"Maybe if you'd pay attention then you might actually learn something," Bobby pointed out. The look John gave him was almost laughable. "What? This stuff _is_ interesting."

Even I was giving Bobby a confused look at this point. The only thing we've learned so far is juggling fire tends to get you in trouble. Other than that, we've just been wandering around while Storm babbled on about old bones and how fossils are made.

"Whatever man," John muttered, blowing air out of his mouth as he ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know about you guys but I'm starving. How about we ditch this place and get something to eat?"

Bobby and Rogue sent him a dubious look and John rolled his eyes. "There's a cafeteria," he pointed out. The couple shared a look before shrugging and nodding their heads. We quickly glanced back at Storm and Jean to see if they were watching before ducking away behind some dinosaur display. Once the group passed and we were sure we hadn't been caught, we stood straight and followed the signs towards the cafeteria.

"We have to be careful about what we eat though, Violet might eat one of the animals she turns into," John joked and I snorted.

"Right, because wolf and eagle meat is such a delicacy in America," I laughed.

"It could be in Canada," John said with a small grin. "I bet you Canadians just love drenching your wolf meat with maple syrup and eating it in your igloos. Maybe down it down with a pint of beer."

"Of course," I hummed. "I mean, we obviously can't eat a full wolf in one sitting so we like to share with our family polar bear."

"And then ride your polar bears to work the next morning, right?" Bobby tried to join in but his smile fell from his face when John and I shot him an unimpressed look. I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Honestly Bobby, I thought you were better than this. The 'riding our polar bears to work' thing is a disgusting stereotype," I mock scoffed whilst shaking my head. "It's completely ridiculous."

"People like you are the reason God doesn't speak to us," John hissed. I could tell he was trying hard to hold his smile back, but he was doing pretty well. "You need to educate yourself before you seriously offend someone."

"For your information, we ride _sled dogs_ to work in the morning, Bobby," I sassed, adding in an eye-roll for extra effect. Rogue was hiding her giggle behind her hand, her brown eyes filled with laughter. John and I shared a look. "Some people, eh?"

"Eh," John hummed in agreeance.

Bobby let out a frustrated sigh, throwing his hands in the air in defeat. "I hate joking around with you guys. This is why people say you're an asshole, John."

John shrugged nonchalantly, an easy smirk on his face. "Hey, even if they're talking crap about me, at least I'm on their minds."

"That's one way of looking at it," Rogue said with a laugh as we reached the cafeteria.

We split in different ways to go get something to eat. Rogue and I went with salads and the boys decided on hamburgers with fries for us all to share. Once we had our food, we met up at a table and took a seat. Rogue sat by Bobby (well, obviously) and I sat by John.

"Ew, salads," John said in revolt when he saw what we had bought. "You're literally just eating overpriced lettuce."

"And ranch sauce," I muttered, taking a bite of a bell pepper. The thing was a little bland but I was a messy eater and if I ordered anything else, I'd probably look like a pig. But with John, you apparently can't do anything without getting judged so I'd just have to live with that.

"Oh of course!" John exclaimed sarcastically. "How could I forget about the dressing? Well that makes everything better!"

Rogue laughed and rolled her eyes, pointing a fork at John. "Just take a bite already so we don't have to listen to you anymore." John flashed a grin and winked, but took a bite of his burger anyway.

"Mommy, why's she wearing gloves inside?"

The four of us turned to see a little girl, around six or so, wearing pink overalls and pointing at Rogue. The mutant blushed and turned away, trying to pretend she hadn't heard the little girl. Of course, she couldn't ignore when the mother responded with, "I don't know, honey. Some people just have a strange fashion sense."

That's when John turned, staring directly at the girl and said, "She doesn't have a strange fashion sense, she's a mutant. If her skin touches you, you die, so be thankful she's wearing the gloves."

The girl's eyes widened and she turned, tugging at her mom so they could leave. John huffed, turning back to take another bite of his burger. Only then did I realize that everyone around us was staring, some even standing up and leaving. By now, Rogue's face was the color of a tomato and she couldn't seem to sink low enough into her chair.

Bobby's lips were pursed together and the area around us seemed to drop a few degrees. "Really John? Was that necessary?"

"Well if you don't stick up for your girlfriend, someone has to," John snapped. I glanced back and forth between the two boys and my eyes finally landed on Rogue. She didn't look as embarrassed anymore, but a little annoyed.

"I don't need you to stick up for anyone, it wasn't a big deal John. If you would have left it, they would have left us alone anyway," Bobby argued.

"Why are you always backing out of everything?" John asked, clenching his jaw and glaring at his friend.

As the boys bickered, I leaned over and quietly asked Rogue, "Do they argue like this often? I mean, this is the second time today."

Rogue sighed and nodded. "Trust me, they do this all the time. You get used to it, it's just a nuisance at this point. They bicker like an old married couple but those two are inseparable."

I wasn't so sure about _that_. Hugh and Clyde were inseparable, Gunner and Celia were inseparable, and Randy and Rose were inseparable (other than when she was having sex with my brother of course). John and Bobby though… they just didn't seem to be as good of friends as everyone made them seem. But then again, who was I to judge? I certainly didn't know them well enough to make snap judgments on their friendship.

The bickering had finally died down and we fell into a tense silence as we ate. You could really tell who the 'new' friend was in our group; Rogue, Bobby, and John all looked a little annoyed but nothing more, and then there was me, wide-eyed and nervous about a fight breaking out between the two.

After a few minutes though, John cracked some stupid joke about the cafeteria food and we were back to before. It was like the little argument hadn't even happened. We fell into a comfortable conversation about what the rest of the school was doing right now and how bored they must be. At one point, John flicked a fry at Rogue and she flung one back. For a few minutes, we had a small food fight between the four of us before a security guard came over and told us to stop.

John responded by flinging a fry at the guard and getting our food taken from us.

"So John," Rogue started, leaning in with an amused smile on her face. "I hear that every year you manage to ruin field trips for everyone. So how are you going to do that this year?"

"Don't encourage him," I teased. "As if juggling fireballs wasn't enough."

"It, in fact, isn't enough," he responded with a smirk. Bobby chuckled, shaking his head. "What do you think, Popsicle? I was thinking about maybe setting the Aztec display on fire this year."

I gaped at the pyromaniac. "John, this is a museum. You're going to destroy some ancient artifact!"

John shrugged, leaning back in his chair. "Who cares? They're all dead anyway."

"Such wise words from St. John Allerdyce," Bobby joked and John laughed, high-fiving his friend. "Honestly John, you should write philosophy."

John scratched his chin thoughtfully. "You know I should. A book is just another way to immortalize myself."

"Unless someone sets it on fire," I pointed out. John shot me a fake glare and lightly shoved me, but nearly tipping me right out of my chair. "Rude."

"Do I care?" Pause. "Hm, look at that. I don't!"

The four of us sniggered as John continued to pull his lighter out of his pocket, flicking it open and examining the flame. I was about to tell him that he was going to get us kicked out when someone cleared their throat.

Looking up, there were two teenage boys standing in front of our table with plastered smiles on their faces. They both looked pretty similar with the same build and dark brown hair, except one had curly hair and the other had straight. They were obviously just there to get something from us but nevertheless, I said, "Yes?"

"Yeah, I just saw that you had a lighter there and I left mine at home. So do you mind?" the curly haired one asked. John opened his lighter again before snapping it shut, doing this a few more times before he finally gave the boys an answer.

"Nah, I think I'll pass." John chuckled as the boys narrowed their eyes, sharing a look. John opened and closed his lighter a few more times, just to annoy them.

 _Snkt, click. Snkt, click. Snkt, click._

' _Wow, he really is trying his hardest to get us kicked out,'_ I thought. I haven't known John long but I'm actually surprised he's made it this far in life without getting punched. The two boys seemed to be growing more aggravated by the second and if John kept pressing it, he was getting in a fight.

"C'mon man, just let me borrow it," the curly-headed boy pressed, shifting his weight to one side and looking annoyed. John's smirk grew and I almost wanted to rip the lighter out of his hand and just throw it at the two.

"Borrow what?" John asked, igniting the flame and letting it burn as he stared directly at them. Even though I knew he was just begging to cause a scene, I had to admit that it was a little funny.

"My brother asked you a simple question," the straight-haired one snapped, looking ready to hit John.

"Why are you being such a dick?"

"Yeah, why are you being such a dick?" he repeated his brother. I wanted to reach over and just force them to shut their mouths already. Didn't they understand? They were just encouraging John!

I've always kind of associated John as a lesser evil version of Clyde; yeah he could be a jerk but he thrived off of getting a rise out of people. In my many years of dealing with the Clyde's and John's of the world, I've learned that it's usually best to just try and ignore them. Will it make them suddenly friendly people? No, but it was better than encouraging them.

"Because I can," John replied in a low voice, clearly enjoying the attention. Bobby was rolling his eyes at this point, annoyed that he was probably about to argue with John for the third time in the past half-hour. I, on the other hand, was kind of curious as to what was about to happen.

"Can. I. Have. A. Light."

John exhaled loudly, igniting the flame again and examining it. He was probably deciding whether or not to freak them out by setting his whole body on fire or something. Instead, John flicked the lighter closed and said, "Sorry, can't help you out pal."

"John, knock it off," Rogue finally said while Bobby told him to stop showing off. That obviously didn't sit well with John though.

"Oh, for her?" he scoffed, pointing at Rogue. "I can't help it if your girlfriend's getting excited."

"I don't think she's getting excited," Bobby retorted. ' _Why isn't anyone concerned if I'm getting excited?_ '

"Don't get all shook up, we're trying to have a good time here, alright?" I took a sip of my water as I watched the two argue. John was still holding his lighter in his hand, completely forgetting that there was someone trying to take it from him.

"I think you're the only one having a good time." Well, I mean, I don't know about that. I found this pretty entertaining.

It stopped being so entertaining though, when the curly-headed guy reached over and snatched John's lighter from his hand. When he did this, his elbow hit my water, making it splash all over my chest. I shot out of my seat, gasping as the cold liquid ran down my chest.

"Hey!" John exclaimed. At first I thought it was about the water, but I quickly realized it was about his lighter.

I was wearing a white shirt with a black bra underneath and when the water splashed onto my chest, it soaked through and made it completely visible. So there I stood, my shirt completely see-through, my bra showing, and everyone staring at me because John just _had_ to go and cause a scene.

"Nice A-cups!" the straight-haired boy yelled loudly, bellowing with laughter. Only then did John look back at me, finally realizing what had happened. He looked down at my chest for a moment, then back at my face, unsure of what to do.

And then the laughter began. Some people pulled out their phones to take pictures and others just pointed and giggled. Whichever it was, the attention from everyone in that cafeteria was on me. But I've been embarrassed and laughed at my whole life. I wasn't going to take it anymore.

In a single second, my green eyes gleamed gold and my brown locks had faded to black. Almost instantaneously, the laughter stopped and everyone was gaping at me, their mouths hanging open. Even the guy with the cigarette in his mouth had his jaw dropped, the cigarette hanging limply from it.

John turned back at the boy with his lighter, smiling smugly at him. "See, this is why you don't mess with mutants."

The boy seemed to snap back to reality, taking a few steps back and looking disgusted. "Get away from me, freaks!"

John sniggered bitterly, shaking his head slowly. I bared my teeth at the boy, letting my nails sharpen into claws. I was actually pretty willing to go full Apex on the kid but John beat me to it.

Suddenly the cigarette exploded, catching fire to the kid's clothes and spreading rapidly down his clothes until all of his clothes were engulfed in flames. He collapsed on the ground, rolling over the floor to try and smother the flames.

As the horror set in of what was happening, my hair faded back to brown and my eyes returned to its normal colour. Rogue grabbed her pop and flung it at the burning kid, hoping to kill the flame. A heartbeat later, ice was shooting from Bobby's hand, covering the boy in a thin layer of frost. The entire time this was happening, John was just staring at the burning teenager, not showing a hint of emotion on his face. He could have ended the flames in the blink of an eye, but instead, he just watched.

Once the curly-haired teen was safe, he rolled onto his back, staring up at us in horror. He screamed, "What the hell is wrong-"

It was like time had simply stopped. His mouth was slightly open, forming the next word but not making any sound. I stared for a second, before looking around the room to see everyone in the same state – every human at least.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking at the frozen faces.

"I don't know," Bobby breathed, examining a man close to him. "I didn't do it."

"No." We all turned at the new voice, seeing the Professor wheeling towards us with an unimpressed look on his face. "I did." He looked at John and raised an eyebrow. "The next time you feel like showing off: don't."

The Professor looked at me next, something undetectable in his eyes. "Cover yourself up," he said simply, before looking away.

My cheeks turned a light shade of red as I crossed my arms over my chest. Bobby immediately whipped off his jacket and handed it to me. I shot him a grateful smile, slipping it on and zipping it up. Thank God for the Bobby Drake's of the world.

"I think it's time we leave, Professor," Scott broke the awkward silence. Only then did I notice that the television was playing. I looked up at the TV to see a news report of a mutant attack on the White House. It wasn't hard to guess as to why this would put everyone on edge.

"I think you're right," the Professor replied. Without saying another word, he turned and wheeled away, heading straight for the exit. Rogue and I shared a glance before following, careful not to touch any of the frozen people; it was just too weird.

John was last to follow, snatching his lighter from the ground and jogging to catch up. Only once we were outside the doors did the humans unfreeze. The last thing I heard before the door swung shut was alarmed screams as the humans regained consciousness and realized we had disappeared into thin air.

[X]

"I'm very disappointed in both of you."

John and I were currently standing in the Professor's office, having been rushed there right after the bus pulled to a stop in front of the mansion. The bus ride back had been silent for the most part, except for the younger kids sitting at the front of the bus who were talking about their favorite part of the field trip, instead of what had went down in the cafeteria. The only one who had said anything was Rogue, who had quietly asked Bobby, "Why isn't anyone talking? Doesn't John pull stunts like this every year?"

To which Bobby answered with, "Not like this."

It made me think that if I hadn't been there and if I hadn't revealed Apex, this entire situation wouldn't have happened. Because it wasn't the fact that John lit someone on fire – I mean, it was – but the look he had in his eyes when he did it. This wasn't him joking around or trying to ruin the annual field trip; there was a coldness in his eyes that rivaled ice. There was more to just 'proving a lesson' and that's what scared most people.

"John, that boy could have seriously been injured had Bobby not been there. What were you thinking?" Storm asked, pacing around the office. Scott stood in the back of the room, his hands crossed over his chest as he stared at us, clearly not impressed with our behavior. "And Violet, you know better than to let Ap… your powers out in public. You know you can't control him so why would you allow that to happen?"

"Him," John repeated, his face screwing up in confusion. "Who are you talking about?"

"What was that, John?" the Professor asked.

"Storm said 'you can't control him.' Who is he?" John asked again and everyone looked at him blankly. I knew they were covering for me – and my little Apex personality disorder.

"She didn't say that," I responded, trying my hardest to look confused. The other adults in the room shrugged, even Scott who hadn't contributed to the conversation since we returned. "She said 'them.' As in my powers."

"Oh," John muttered, still looking slightly confused. I could tell he was trying to convince himself that he was just hearing things but Storm had spoken loud and clear. The little stumble with Apex's name earlier hadn't helped either.

"Anyway," the Professor started, looking at each of us. "This kind of behavior will not be tolerated and you have to learn when it is appropriate to reveal your powers in public. Out of everyone, John you should know how humans could react-"

"Don't." John's jaw was clenched and his hands curled into fists. The same coldness from the museum had returned to his eyes and it was like someone had replaced the class clown with an angry doppelganger. The two men stared at each other, seeming to have a conversation without needing to same any words – which was very possible considering that one of them was a telepath.

I tensed, glancing between the Professor and John and trying to understand what was happening. Storm and Scott were looking away, clearly knowing why John's mood had suddenly shifted so dramatically. ' _I guess I'm not the only one with a dark past._ ' Finally, after was seemed like forever, the Professor averted his gaze. "You both should have known better."

"We'll keep it in mind," John spat. The Professor didn't respond.

"As punishment, we've decided that you two will be on Alarm Duty for the next week," Storm said and John immediately groaned, his frightening demeanor slipping and returning to the outspoken boy who I had always known.

"What's Alarm Duty?" I asked, cocking my head slightly to one side. I've been at Xavier's Institute for nearly two months now and I had never heard of anything called Alarm Duty. Granted, a few of those weeks were spent in the woods as an eagle but still, you'd think I'd actually understand a fraction of what was going on by now.

"Waking the younger kids up during school days," Scott explained. It was the first time he had said anything since we had gotten back to the school. "Many of the younger kids will sleep through their alarms and without someone to go make sure the wake up, we've had students sleep through their classes. All you have to do is knock on every dorm room on the third floor and make sure everyone is out of bed and getting ready for class. You have to do this at around seven o'clock and it takes about fifteen minutes when you work together."

Now I was starting to understand why John wasn't all that pleased with 'Alarm Duty.' Usually I woke up at seven-thirty, threw my hair in a ponytail, brushed my teeth, put on a little makeup, ate breakfast and I was ready by the time my first class began. This meant I would have to wake up thirty minutes earlier to go deal with some bratty children before I could get ready myself. ' _Fantastic_.'

"We don't like punishing you," Storm added. "But both of you put others in serious danger and we can't allow that kind of behavior, especially around younger children who are easily influenced."

I mean it made sense when she put it like that; John nearly burned someone to death and I revealed Apex… wait, what?

John and I were being punished the same when _he_ tried murdering someone and I turned my hair black. "Um, okay no," I blurted, glancing between the three adults when I finally put the pieces of the puzzle together. "I am not doing this 'Alarm Duty' thing. I didn't do anything wrong!"

Storm looked puzzled. "Violet, we've been over this. You could have seriously-"

"John lit someone on fire!" I snapped, pointing to the pyromaniac. He shrugged, accepting the fact before I went on. "I am not getting punished for making my hair turn black; I don't care how unstable Apex is, I shouldn't be getting punished for something I didn't do." Storm placed a hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off.

"Violet, you of all people should know how dangerous your powers can be and even if you hadn't attacked that man, the fact that you were willing to reveal your powers tells us that you wouldn't have stopped there. I'm sorry, but I stand by what I said; together, you and John could have ended someone's life and we can't let that kind of behavior go unpunished," Storm explained. She made it sound like _she_ was the one who had to do Alarm Duty for the next week and that she had no choice. I literally did nothing and I was being punished.

"This is bullshit," I spat. Not saying another word, I turned and storm away. The office door was locked so instead of being a normal human being, I allowed a rush of Apex to run through my body as I slammed my fists into the door, snapping the lock clean in half. The door swung open and slammed against the wall, causing a slight dent.

The last thing I heard before I stormed out of there was Scott asking, "Why does she _always_ have to break the door when she leaves?"

It wasn't the fact that I was getting punished, but more that I was getting punished unfairly. I know I had a history with Apex being violent but were they that scared of me that they were punishing me just for revealing him? It wasn't fair and they knew it.

"Hey wait up!" John called. I slowed down to let him catch up and we fell in line together as we made our way down the hall. "See, this is why I hate this place."

"You don't hate this place," I scoffed. The look in his eyes told me that he truly did. "Why? The Professor gave you a home? I mean, if you're here at all, it means that you needed his help. They're helping you control your powers, John."

"More like suppress it," he corrected. "Look Vi, you've been here two months so you don't know the teachers like I do but they aren't trying to train you, they're trying to oppress you because humans are too scared to open their closed little minds. They talk about peace and equality but look at us Violet, we're hiding away in some school and blindly following a man who supports the people that hate us."

"That's some theory," I muttered. "I mean, yeah it's unfair but I wouldn't go so far as to say _that_. The Professor is just trying to protect us. I don't know about you, but he's done a lot to help me control my powers and I'm not going to disregard all that just because of one incident. They care about us, John." Sure, some of the things John was saying was true but the Professor wasn't some coward; he's done a lot for the mutant community. At least, that's what I've heard.

"They're not punishing you for almost hurting someone, Violet. They're punishing you because you caused a scene," John pressed. I rolled my eyes and turned a corner but John stopped, standing in the middle of the hall. I didn't wait for him, I just kept walking. I didn't actually slow down until he called after me, "Who's Apex?"

I froze, staring straight forward with wide eyes. I inhaled slowly, turning around to face him with the calmest face I could muster. After a short pause, I said, "I don't know what you're talking about." And with that, I turned around and walked away, not stopping until I was safely in my room. Only then, did I release the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

I ran a hand through my hair as I sat down on my bed and tried to wrap my head around the events that had taken place that day. I was trying my hardest to make my life in America a fresh start but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to stop messing up. I'd only been there a month and I already ruined a friendship, hurt multiple people, and then of course, dealt with everything that had just happened today. Maybe I could go find Jay and ask him to start bullying me and then it'll be _just_ like high school.

I was up in my room for about twenty minutes before I heard a soft knock on the door. I really didn't feel like dealing with anyone right now so I just stayed on my bed, hoping whoever it was would take the hint and leave me alone. But after a minute or two, they knocked again and I knew I wasn't getting rid of them. With a heavy sigh, I slipped off my bed and walked over to the door. When I opened it, Storm was standing there with a placid look on her face. "Yeah?"

"Professor Xavier and I have been talking and we agreed that a week's worth of Alarm Duty was unfair; we've shortened it to three days. It would have been two but Jean is starting to get annoyed with fixing all the doors you've broken since you've gotten here," Storm explained. I flinched, surprised by the fact that she was shortening my 'sentence' and had actually taken into account what I was saying. Most of the teachers back at my high school would have had the 'I'm-right-and-nobody-else-can-question-that' approach.

Were the adults here, dare I say it, reasonable?

"Wow," I breathed, still slightly shocked. "Uh, thanks."

"And just to make it clear, we would never punish our students simply for embracing their powers in public. Even if John seems to think so, we honestly want the best for you and we were just scared that you could have done something you regret by letting Apex take control," she went on. "This is a matter of safety, nothing more."

"Apex wasn't in control," I said. She looked confused so I explained. "When Apex is in control, it's difference. It's all violence and needing to kill something. This time, it was _my_ choice to use my powers, not his."

"Ah, I see." Storm nodded, an understanding look in her eyes. "Well I'm glad we cleared this up and I'll see you downstairs for supper tonight."

I could tell she just wanted to leave – probably to go deal with the other misfits in the school – and I didn't want to hold her back. Even though I was furious before, I felt much more refreshed now, despite still having to serve a few days of Alarm Duty. When Storm left, I shut the door quietly behind her, trying to hide the small smile on my face.

' _See John? I told you they cared about us._ '

 **A/N: Ahem… X-Men: United has officially begun. I really enjoyed this chapter and actually typed this out twice, the first time being not so great and then the second taking a new approach and creating this! The next few chapters are going to be really fun to write and I hope you enjoy them as well! Thank you very much for the reviews and I would also like to answer one publicly because I'm sure there must be other people wondering it as well.**

 **"How big is Violet in her wolf form? Like a normal wolf or bigger like twilight wolf big, they're as big as horses almost idk if you know(:"**

 **Violet is the size of a normal wolf (which is 80-85cm) but she is a bit slimmer and has longer legs in her wolf form than the average wolf. So no, she's not the Twilight wolf - though that would be pretty cool if Vi could transform into giant animals!**


	13. Just Run

_There's pain, Life hurts_  
 _There's a thousand things_  
 _You think you don't deserve_  
 _All hope is lost_  
 _When You spend it all_  
 _And you just can't beat the odds_  
 _I bet you don't curse God_

 _-_ I Bet You Don't Curse God, Christina Grimmie

 **Rest in Peace Christina Grimmie**

A few hours later, after going for a run, having a cold shower and brushing through my mop of hair, I finally went down to dinner. I was starving by now because the last thing I had eaten was that measly salad at the cafeteria and nothing since.

But as soon as I walked into the dining hall, I knew something was different.

For one, they weren't all staring at me like I had expected; rumors fly like crazy in this school and I expected the gossip to still be on the little fiasco that had happened earlier. Instead, everyone was chatting up a storm about some terrorist.

I took a seat with John, Rogue, Bobby, Jubilee, and Kitty at a table near the windows. "What's everyone talking about?"

"You know about that mutant that attacked the President?" Kitty asked.

"Vaguely," I replied with a shrug. I took a bite of my spaghetti as Jubilee explained.

"The Professor has located him so now Storm and Jean are taking the X-Jet to go find him. I mean, he tried to assassinate the _President_! I think the Professor is crazy and should just let the police deal with him instead of getting involved," Jubilee said, shaking her head. "The X-Men are always running off and dealing with cool villains and we're just sitting here _learning_ and stuff!"

"Yeah, it's crazy how that works in a _school_ ," John replied sarcastically. Jubilee responded by sticking her tongue out and zapping a bolt in John's direction, which he dodged by an inch. It fizzled out and exploded with a small 'pop.' "Of course the X-Men are going to go deal with the terrorist, I mean they seem to get involved with everything else, so why not this?" Anyone could detect the bitterness in his voice and Rogue had apparently had enough of it.

"Oh knock it off, John. We've all heard enough from you today. You know you don't have to give your opinion about everything, right?" Rogue snapped. John just laughed, clearly finding amusement in firing up his friends.

"Ah, calm down, I'm just joking around. Besides, what's got your panties in a bunch? Shouldn't you be happy that your other boyfriend came back?" John teased. Rogue rolled her eyes, a slight blush creeping to her cheeks as Bobby shifted uncomfortably in his seat. I glanced between the three, waiting for someone to explain but no one did.

"Um, what?" Everyone turned to me, looking slightly confused.

Realization flicked in John's eyes as he snapped his fingers. "Right, she's been holed up in her room all day so she wasn't here when Prince Charming rode in on his motorbike."

"I wasn't in my room all day," I muttered. I honestly wasn't! For the first time since I had gotten here, I went for a long run to clear my head and think over the past couple of months. It had been a habit I started whenever I needed to get out of the house and release my stress.

"Right," John replied, clearly not caring. "Long story short, once upon a time Rogue and this middle-aged guy, Logan, showed up here after someone tried killing them. Then this bad guy, Magneto, kidnapped Rogue to use for his bad guy plans. After a lot of fighting that none of us were a part of, Logan saved Rogue's life and then he left to go 'find himself' or something and Rogue started to date Bobby out of pity as she waited for her true love to come back."

"Yes, that is exactly what happened," Bobby agreed sarcastically. "You missed no details whatsoever."

"It's a gift," John replied with a shrug. "And now Logan's back so Rogue's probably going to dump Bobby to be with him. Even though he's probably like a hundred years old."

"So where is this Logan guy?" I asked, glancing around to see if I could spot anyone I hadn't seen before. But to be fair, I can be pretty self-absorbed at the best of times; I've actually only met a handful of people since I've gotten here and haven't even bothered to learn anyone else's names. To me, everyone could have been Logan. ' _This is one character flaw I really need to work on._ '

Rogue scanned the room, looking for Logan but came up short. "He must still be in his room or talking to the Professor. He'll be here soon and then you can meet him. And for the record, he's like a brother or an uncle to me, _not_ a boyfriend. I'm happy to say someone else has filled up that spot."

Bobby and Rogue shared a gag-worthy, love-sick look and locked fingers. I say 'gag-worthy' because John literally gagged and pushed his food away. Jubilee on the other hand made an 'aww'ing noise and giggled. Ugh, it just made me depressed that I was single and didn't have someone to share romantic looks with. I mean, neither did Jubilee, Kitty, or John but they seemed okay with it. I could see Jubilee making a really great girlfriend; she's fun to be around and she has a way of keeping everyone on their toes without being annoying. Kitty was a sweet girl, if a little shy, and at first I thought she and Colossus were together but she shoots down that idea whenever someone brings it up. John on the other hand… I have to admit that I've grown to like John more than when I first arrived at Xavier's, but I could never picture him with a girl other than a casual hook-up.

Who knows though, maybe deep down, John is some Romeo who runs through fields of roses and writes gothic romance novels.

"Oh there he is!" Rogue exclaimed. She stood slightly waving at Logan to come over. I turned my head to see a gruff looking man walk over, giving intimidating looks to anyone who stared too long. "Logan, I know you've already met Bobby, but these are my other friends, Kitty, Jubilee, John, and Violet."

Logan had combed back brown hair that still managed to look rugged, mutton chops, and mysterious, light brown eyes that always looked like he was slightly annoyed and judging you. He looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Also known as Shadowcat… Well Jubilee is just Jubilee… Pyro, and… Violet's new so she doesn't really have a name yet…" Bobby trailed off. That definitely didn't turn out as cool as he'd intended it to be. "We're still working on this whole codename thing."

"My full name is Jubilation!" Jubilee exclaimed. "So technically Jubilee is my codename."

"You kids are too obsessed with this codename business," Logan scoffed. He glanced back to see Scott staring at him; if he weren't wearing glasses, his eyes would probably be narrowed. "Better than being stuck with something like Cyclops though."

John sniggered and Rogue smiled, as if she was used to his abrasive sense of humor. Logan looked down at me, "And what about you? Why don't you have a codename?"

I shrugged. "Nothing's come to me yet, I guess."

"Well what can you do?"

Before I could even open my mouth to answer, John speaks up. "She eats people."

I looked back at Logan evenly, "It's a gift from God." I waited a beat for him to snort – whether he was amused or unamused, I will never know – before speaking again. "I can shapeshift into animals and I've had a few… slip ups in the past that ended up with me trying to…" I tried to find a way to phrase it so I didn't sound like a cannibal.

"She tried to devour Jay and Nori," John said loudly and I rolled my eyes. Jay, who was sitting nearby, twisted around to glare at me.

"Thanks for that, by the way," he snarled. He was silenced when I flashed golden irises his way.

Logan made another one of his snorting noises as he shook his head. I turned back to John. "You really know how to leave a great first impression, eh?"

John shrugged with his infamous smirk on his face, "I do my best."

Logan's eyes narrowed at me, not like he was glaring at me, but like he was puzzled. "Do I know you, kid? I swear I've seen you before." My face paled and my thoughts raced to try and place his face. Was he from my hometown? Was he there when I killed my mother? Was he part of the AMSA? _Where_ did I know him from?

"Uh, n-no," I stuttered. John gave me a funny look, but no one else seemed to notice my sudden unease. John was the only one who knew about me killing all those people but there was still a lot he didn't know about me. To everyone else, Logan was a big, intimidating man; why wouldn't I stutter around him?

"Right," Logan muttered, still trying to figure out how he knew me. He sighed, turning back to Rogue. "I'll see you later, kid. I have to talk to the Professor about some things before I have to babysit tonight." The way he cringed at the word 'babysit' was almost laughable.

Almost.

"Bye Logan," Rogue said and smiled softly as he walked away. Bobby wasn't looking at any of us, but I could tell he wasn't completely happy with how friendly his girlfriend was acting towards Logan. But it wasn't like he would say anything, he was _Bobby Drake_. Now I was starting to understand why John called Logan her 'boyfriend.' ' _I think someone has a little crush_.'

I glance back a Logan as he walked away, snatching an apple from someone's plate, shining it on his shirt, and taking a bite. There was a small knot in my stomach wondering where I knew him from, but no matter how hard I thought, I couldn't place it. All I could do was hope that I hadn't crossed his paths and that he wasn't one of the many people who wanted me dead.

"What was that?" John asked me once Logan was gone. "Do you know that guy?"

"I don't know," I muttered, with a shrug. "He seemed a little familiar but I can't place his face. He can't have been _that_ important." But what if he was? I wouldn't remember the faces of the AMSA members that I slaughtered in the inn, or what about the inn-keeper? I mean, something about Logan tells me that he's probably not an inn-keeper but you never know.

"Maybe you knew him from Canada?" Bobby suggested. I wanted to roll my eyes or give him a sarcastic response but I had a knot in my gut and all I could do was offer a small smile. The other people – save for John, who already knew about my short murder spree – were shooting me odd looks. I was trying my best to hide the worried expression on my face but apparently I was failing.

"Yeah maybe," I replied as normally as I could. "Whatever. It doesn't really matter. He's just some guy I probably ran into on the street or something."

[X]

I was a child, maybe four or five years old. I was sitting on the floor, playing Snakes and Ladders with Hugh. At first I barely even recognized him because he looked so different; a once chiseled jaw, sharp features, cat-like eyes and toned muscles, were now soft, chubby features with shaggy brown hair hanging in his wider eyes. He held an aura of innocence as he laughed, clapping his hands together. He was wearing silk white pajamas; I was wearing black.

"Violet it's your turn!" he giggled, pointing to the board. I grinned wide, grabbing the dice in my chubby hands and rolling. A three and four; seven. I moved my piece seven places, going up a ladder and passing my brother. I looked up again to tease him but Hugh had moved; he was no longer on the other side of the board but now directly in front of my face. His grin was no longer sweet and innocent like it was moments ago, it was strained, like someone was tugging the edges of his mouth into a smile. His green eyes pleaded with mine, begging me to help him.

"Violet," he breathed. His breath smelt like rotting flesh. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" I whispered, leaning forward and turning my head so his mouth was by my ear. I could feel his breath on my ear. It was as cold as ice. He didn't say anything, he just breathed, sending chills down my spine. "Hugh?"

I could hear the click of his jaw as he opened his mouth wide and…

 _AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!_

I leapt away as an ear-splitting scream escaped Hugh's throat, his fingers digging into my throat as he pounced, pinning me to the ground. Despite him being only a child, he was choking me with an inhuman strength. He was screaming as I tried to scramble away, clawing at his hands to free myself. "Hugh!" I choked, kicking violently. My brother didn't even budge.

He didn't say anything, he just _screamed_. His scream faltered as blood started to pour out of his mouth, nose, and eyes, splattering onto my face and staining his pajamas crimson. The green veins in his arms split open, spilling his life in a horrifying puddle around us.

"Hugh!"

I shot up, Hugh's body vaporizing into thin air but his terrified screams remaining. I clutched my ears, twisting in my bed and falling onto the floor, bringing my duvet with me. "Hugh," I cried, scrambling to free myself from the bedding. "Hugh, please! Where are you?"

The scream ended and I shot off the floor, scrambling towards the door and ripping it open. In the hall, students were screaming and running down the halls. "Hugh!" I screamed. "Where are you?"

I stumbled into the halls, and looking both ways for a chubby faced child in white pajamas. I thought I saw a flash of white but before I could move towards it, I was shoved to the ground, taking someone down with me. "Hugh?" I asked, twisting on the floor to see if it had been my brother who had knocked me down.

Brown eyes. Blue hair. Nori.

"Violet?" she gasped. "Get up! They've taken over the mansion. We have to get out of here!"

"Where is he? Where's Hugh?" I screamed, pulling myself to my feet. I looked down to see I was wearing an oversized Pink Floyd t-shirt, not black silk pajamas like my younger self was wearing moments ago.

"Who?" Nori asked. "Look, never mind. We have to get out of here. The mansion's under attack!"

I spun around in a circle, fully taking in the scene. Children were shoving and pushing at each other to get away, some sobbing so hard that they couldn't physically move. A girl collapsed on the floor, screaming for her mother. Calvin raced past the girl, skidding to a stop and backtracking, pulling the girl to her feet and down the hallway. I was starting to realize that I had been dreaming and Hugh wasn't here. This was real life and we were in real danger.

I turned back to Nori but she was gone. All a saw was a flash of blue before she turned the corner.

I started running, my bare feet pounding on the carpeted floors. I came to the end of the hall, looking both ways before turning right, where Nori had gone. I took another left and then a right before coming to a dead stop. The hallway was completely empty; if I was going the right way, shouldn't there be other people? I turned back around to the hallway I was just in but it was empty too. If my heart wasn't racing before, it sure as hell was now.

How did everyone just disappear?

I started running again, taking a different turn and nearly screaming for joy when I saw a group of mutants running past. I sprinted towards the end of the hall, taking a quick right so not to lose the group again. "Violet!"

I turned – a part of me still praying that I would see a small boy in silk pajamas – but instead coming face to face with gray eyes and messy brown hair. "John, what's going on?"

"I don't know," he breathed. "I just heard screaming."

"Where do we go?" I asked, tugging at his wrist to keep running so we didn't lose the group. We were now at the back of the group but I could still see everyone so I wouldn't lose them again.

"There are tunnels – whoa!" John grabbed my arm and yanked back, just as three darts zipped in front of my face and hit the wall a centimetre from my nose. A man in a black vest with his face painted camouflage was standing in the shadows with a gun in his hand. He pulled the trigger as John and I dropped the floor, barely dodging the darts.

 _Snkt, fwoosh!_

I could barely register John flicking his lighter open before a stream of fire was shooting past my face and scorching the man in black. John didn't hold the flame long enough to kill the man, just enough to knock him back and keep him rolling on the floor to smother the flames. "C'mon!" John yelled, grabbing my wrist and dragging me to my feet. The group of mutants – and our escape – was long gone.

John didn't let go of my wrist as we raced down the halls, maneuvering corners at a blinding speed. It wasn't until we turned into a room full of men in camouflage that we stopped. John tried to pull us back but their guns were pointed on us in seconds. A ball of fire shot from John's lighter, catching onto two of the men and forcing them to stop, drop, and roll. The three other men tried shooting at us but a wall of fire exploded between us, so hot that it melted the darts before they could reach us.

We pivoted, about to run down the hall we had just come, when a black mass jumped from the shadows.

It was the man from before, his jacket now scorched and his face covered in a layer of soot. He slammed the back of his gun into John's head before lunging at me and gripping me in a tight headlock. "John!" I screamed as I clawed at the man's arms. His grip was too tight and it was cutting off my airways.

John was laying on the ground, a trickle of blood coming from his forehead and he was clearly dazed. He couldn't focus long enough to set the man on fire and free me. "John!" I called again, my voice cracking as I choked. I reached my arm towards the boy lying of the ground, my fingers stretching towards him. John, still dazed and confused, reached back, his arm swaying as he tried to regain balance. John stumbled, his arm dropping to the floor and smothering my last spark of hope.

The room started to spin and my movements slowed. I could barely make out the men finally smothering the fire and pointing their guns at me. John's shaking hand was blurry as he reached towards the fire, attempting to get a mental grip on it, but only managing to make an explosion of sparks that the men merely dusted off. The only thing that I was able to focus on was the boy in white silk pajamas who had appeared in the corner of the room.

"Hugh," I coughed, reaching towards him.

Hugh didn't say anything, but he slowly nodded, the glint in his eyes more mature than his five year old body seemed capable of. Some part of me – not Violet, but Apex – understood exactly what this single nod meant. It was a bond deeper than that of my relationship with my brother; it was a blood bond. It was something only Apex could understand, and without noticing it, he took full control over my body.

My heart rate suddenly slowed, my pupils shrunk, and my hair faded to black. I could instantly feel Apex racing through my veins, but this was not the freedom of the eagle or the anger of the wolf; this was something different. Something stronger.

"Fuck," the man breathed as I started to grow. His grip loosened as I dropped to four giant, black paws, my nails sharpening into fearsome claws. I let out a loud roar as I tossed the man off my back, raking my claws across his chest. He writhed in pain as he screamed, struggling to get away from me with one hand on his bleeding chest. I pushed off the floor with my paws, lunging onto the other men. Gripping one of their guns in my teeth, I tossed it off the side like it was a ragdoll before jumping to the next invader.

I slammed him over the head with my paw and knocking him unconscious. The final man wasn't spared though; I sunk my giant teeth in his throat and he was dead within seconds. The other two men were already on the floor, their guns far away from their bodies. I wouldn't kill them today.

I turned back to John, who was no longer dazed, but staring straight at me with wide eyes. I padded over to him, shoving my enormous face near his head to sniff at his head wound. It was fine, it had broken the skin but I doubt it was hard enough to give him a concussion. "Vi?" he asked, shakily. I could understand why he would be hesitant; I didn't exactly have a good track record with my animal forms in the past. But this was different; I could control this perfectly. "Y-you're a lion…"

I nodded quickly with a snort, and the fear drained from John's eyes. He lifted his hand to my forehead, slowly dragging his hand down my head, around my ear, and cupping my head. "Whoa," he breathed. Our eyes locked, yellow to gray, as John held my face.

I ripped my head away from his hands as a whimper left the bleeding man on the floor. We were suddenly snapped out of our moment, and brought back into the dangerous situation. John pulled himself to his feet, looking around the room. "The mansion's probably crawling with these guys! How do we get out?"

I growled, nodding my head to my back. ' _I can't believe I'm even thinking this, but John… get on my back_.'

John's eyes widened as he figured out what I was trying to say. "You want me to ride you?"

I snorted, ' _Yes_.'

"Yeah, I don't really speak lion so…"

' _John I'm five seconds away from killing you_.' I slowly nodded my head so even someone like John could understand that I needed him to hop on so we could get the hell out of this place. Despite the circumstances, I could still see the gleam in John's eyes. What person didn't want to ride a lion?

John stepped forward, lifting his leg over so he was sitting on my back. My back muscles rippled uncomfortably under his weight but once I started running, the discomfort escaped me and all I could focus on was how to get out. We sped down the halls, turning corners and dodging darts, while John had his lighter out, scorching anyone we saw. The thing that startled me though was how many dead men we passed. Storm, Jean, Scott, and the Professor were all gone for the day, so who had killed them all?

I didn't slow as I passed them, though. I simply ran faster; past bodies, broken windows, a hall full of shattered ice, blood stains on the walls, and many, many darts. There were no dead students though, only men in camouflage. It made me wonder who had been the one to kill all of them; who were the students who had ended lives today? And why so… violently? The men looked like they had been ripped apart by animals.

I rounded a corner into the entrance where there were about five more men. John didn't hesitate in sending them up in flames as I raced outside the open door. It felt like we were in some kind of action movie; helicopters, camouflage jeeps, and men with guns all surrounded the school. This was no robbery or anti-mutant gang – this was planned. This was _military_. The second I stepped outside, there was no doubt in my mind that the government had something to do with this. I'm no conspiracy nut, but I just _knew_.

Men yelled and scrambled for their guns when they saw me burst out of the mansion. I didn't slow as I raced towards the trees, keeping low to the ground and doing my best to avoid the darts. I would have been hit a dozen times by now if John hadn't been there, surrounding us in walls of flame and melting the darts before they could reach us. For one of the first times since I had arrived at Xavier's, I was thankful that I had John by my side… well, on my back, if we're going to get technical here.

Darts zipped past us and buried themselves into the thick bark of the trees. The further we ran, the quieter the invaders shouts would fade.

"Don't let them get away!"

"Can't anyone shoot for a damn around here?"

"Just let them go! Stryker's got enough mutants already."

We were too far away to hear the response, even though I desperately wanted to stop and listen. I wanted to know who Stryker was and what he wanted with us. I wanted to know where he was taking mutants. I wanted to know what happened to our _friends_. But I couldn't stop. Because if I did, it would mean finding out answers to my questions in the worst possible way.

"Don't stop," John ordered, as if reading my thoughts. His words were nothing more than a confirmation of what I had already decided. "We need to get the hell away from here."

I didn't attempt to answer him or acknowledge his words; I just kept running.

Once we were far enough away – a few miles at least – I slowed down by some pine trees. I did a quick scan of the area, not picking up any strange scents or noises, and let John off my back. Only moments after his bare feet touched the soft earth, my claws shrunk into nails and the black fur covering my body reversed back into pale skin. Rolling my shoulders back as I straightened up, I looked at John. There was a little blood on him, but not nearly as much as on me, and his face seemed to be losing color with every passing second. It was like the reality of what had happened was slowly catching up with him.

"What was that back there?" he breathed, his hands clutching the sides of his head as he turned back in the direction of the mansion. "What did they want?"

"They wanted mutants," I said coldly. "I heard one of the men say someone named 'Stryker' is collecting mutants. I don't suppose you know who that is?"

"No idea," he muttered. John's jaw clenched and a cold look grew in his eyes. "But humans have a history of 'collecting' mutants, and it never ends up good on our side."

I shuddered at what he was implying; I knew we were both thinking about the same thing. A few years back, there was a much publicized case of scientists kidnapping mutants and conducting terrible and inhumane experiments on them for _years_ until they were finally arrested. The thing is, the police had known about the experiments from the beginning and they did nothing to stop it – that is until a mutant joined the police force and finally put a stop to the torture. The entire situation was disgusting but what's worse was the fact that things like this were happening every day and people still turned a blind eye to it.

And what really shocked me was that I'd lived at Xavier's for about two months now and I have yet to hear about the X-Men doing anything to stop it. Don't they have all this fancy technology that could locate all these tortured mutants and save them? I had to push the idea to the back of my head; Xavier was smart. He knew what he was doing and it wasn't my place to question it. I just had to focus on what was happening right now.

"What do we do now?" I asked quietly. The sight of us was devastating; two bloody, pale teens standing in the middle of the woods, their shoulders drooped and hopeless looks plastered on their faces. I was wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and John was wearing a gray t-shirt with pajama pants.

John ran a hand through his hair, walking a few paces as he thought. He let out a long sigh before finally speaking. "We find a place to sleep tonight, as far from the school as we can, and in the morning we try and find the others."

It wasn't much of a plan – in fact it wasn't a plan at all – but it was a start. And in that moment, it was all we had.

[X]

That night we slept on the forest floor under the cover of a pine tree. The night was cold and I don't think I got even three minutes of sleep, but we were safe. At one point during the night, a group of teenage girls ran past with glow sticks and there was a second where John was ready to scorch them before I grabbed his arm. After a few seconds, he realized the girls were just drunk and he slipped his lighter back into his pocket.

If anything, it was comforting having civilization so close – the people wouldn't attack if it meant putting _humans_ in danger. Or at least that's what we were hoping.

John and I didn't talk throughout the night; it was too terrifying even though neither of us could admit it. We twitched at every rustling bush or snapping twig, and it go to the point where we were flinching at things we _thought_ we heard. How could we possibly have a conversation in a time like that?

No, we just lay there, curled as close to the tree trunk as we could get and being careful that our breathing wasn't too loud. It wasn't until the morning that either of us actually said anything.

When sunlight filtered through the branches, I finally sat up slowly, being careful not to get my hair caught in the pines as I crawled out from under the branches. Once I was out in the open, I did a quick glance around, wincing slightly as my neck twisted. Throughout the night, I could pretty much feel the knots forming in my neck, I was just too scared to actually do anything about it. There was a rustling behind me as John crawled out from under the tree as well.

His brown hair was even messier than it usually was and the side of his face was dirty. I could tell he was suffering from a sore neck as well because he kept his neck at a slight angle as he spoke. "Rise and shine Princess, I guess it's time we figure all this shit out."

"I couldn't have said it better myself," I muttered sarcastically. What can I say? I'm not a morning person and it wasn't exactly like my night had been all that amazing to begin with.

John didn't seem fazed by my sarcasm though. "So I was thinking it over and I think I have a plan." That was definitely enough to get my attention. "This Stryker guy, he could be looking for us and in these clothes it wouldn't be hard to pick us out of a crowd. We need new clothes and money. After that, we figure out where the survivors went and try and track them down."

I mean, it wasn't exactly a plan but it was _something_. "How are we going to get clothes?" I asked. "It's not exactly like we have any money to spend and I can't just walk into a store looking like this." We both looked down at my oversized tee-shirt; one side was slipping off my shoulder and my thighs were out in the open. It wasn't even that cute 'morning after' look either, I looked pretty much exactly how you would expect a fugitive to look.

Plus I forgot to shave my legs yesterday so there was that.

"Yeah, you're going to have to leave that to me," John said without missing a beat. "I mean, if I walk into a store I might look like I'm on drugs but if you walk into a store… people are going to think you got raped or something."

I smacked John on the arm. "Don't make rape jokes, that's disgusting."

John held up his hands in defense. "I'm just saying, you're going to draw unwanted attention if you come in looking like that." There was a moment's pause before John finally straightened his neck and his eyes widened with realization. If we were a cartoon, there would be a lightbulb going off above his head. "You know, this could work."

"What could work?"

John gestured towards my body. "Unwanted attention."

' _Oh no._ '

 **A/N: I actually took that last scene from the next chapter because there's so much going on in the next chapter that it would be too long if I hadn't! What do you guys think is a good length for chapters? I usually average around 5, 000 words per chapter but my longest chapter was chapter 5 "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" which was about 7, 444 words.**

 **Also (I apologize for the long authors note) if I were to write another OC/X-Men fic after Apex Predator is done, which would you be more interested in? Pietro/OC or Alex/OC. At this point it is completely hypothetical but I'm just curious as to what you guys think :)**


	14. Free Fall

_For all of the light that I shut out_ _  
_ _For all of the innocent things that I've doubt_ _  
_ _For all of the bruises that I've caused and the tears_ _  
_ _For all of the things that I've done all these years_

 _-_ I'll Be Good, Jaymes Young

John walked into the store first, earning himself a few odd looks but nothing out of the ordinary. He just looked like a homeless person coming in to purchase some shoes or a jacket for the cold nights. We had chosen the Salvation Army – yes, I know, we're horrible people – because of the lack of security and the fact that John wouldn't stick out too much. So far, as I watched from in an alley across the street, the plan was going accordingly.

John browsed through the shelves, picking out a few things for himself before moving on to the women's rack. As I watched from my hiding spot, he reached for a pink dress, pulling it off the rack and examining it. Even from across the street, I could see the smug grin on his face as he toyed with the idea of forcing me to wear it. Thankfully, he put the monstrosity back on the rack before pulling out a few more items.

I watched as John walked back to the change rooms and disappeared behind the corner as he tried on the outfit. "Wait two minutes before making your entrance," is what John had said. He needed time to actually try on the outfit and shove my clothes under his jacket before I could make my grand appearance. I didn't really question it because John seemed so sure of himself and whenever I try to plan anything, it ends up disastrously.

When I pointed that out, John laughed and agreed. But then he also brought up how I wasn't _completely_ useless at paintball just to make me feel better. ' _Thanks John_.'

As I counted down the final seconds, my heart started racing and sweat sprung from my hands. I had always loathed being the centre of attention and now, one of my biggest fears was becoming a reality. Taking a deep breath, I counted to ten in my head, just as my mother had taught me to calm myself.

 _One…Two…Three…Four….Five….Six….Seven….Eight…Nine….Ten…_

 _Showtime._

The double door slammed open as I threw my weight into it, landing on the linoleum ground on all fours. The transformation was quick, only lasting a few seconds before a wolf was standing in the middle of the Salvation Army.

At first, everyone just stared, unsure of what to do. Blood drained from the faces, one woman's bags dropped from her hands, and a wad of half-chewed bubble gum fell from a man's mouth. And then, after three slow seconds, someone finally screamed.

" _Wolf!"_

And that was about the time all hell broke loose.

I lunged forward, snapping at the Bubble Gum man but purposely missing him by an inch. He fell back, landing hard on his butt as he scrambled to get away. A snarl ripped from my throat as I lunged again, towering over him with my teeth bared. I almost didn't notice a dark stain wash over the crotch of his pants… almost.

Sadly that small detail hadn't escaped me.

I was about to give him a hard bite or two – just to scare him, I promise – when I noticed most of the customers racing towards the door. If they got out this early, there was no doubt the police would be here within minutes; or worse, the men who attacked us in the first place.

I leapt off the man and threw my body into the doors just as someone reached for it. The woman jumped away with a shriek as I snarled. She held up her hands, backing away like I was a criminal, not an animal.

"Please don't hurt me," she sobbed, streams of tears rushing down her face. The way she was acting; she wasn't treating me like a wolf, she was treating me like a _person_. She knew I was a mutant. Whether she had seen me transform or had just realized how illogical a wolf in New York was, I would never know, but in that moment, I knew that I _never_ wanted anyone to look at me like that again.

Even though I didn't want it, I knew damn well I would have to grow used to the look.

My ears fell against my head and I took a few steps back just as I spotted John coming out of the change room. I barely had time to take in his appearance before he was running for the door, pretending to look terrified at the big, black wolf in the middle of the store.

John ripped open door and rushed into the street, along with about five other screaming people. He bolted down the street, disappearing from my view as he turned the corner just as we had planned.

I turned back to where the woman was standing to see she had disappeared. There was only a couple of people in the store, both hiding behind the counter. I snarled at them once before running to the door, as if to chase after the escaped pieces of prey.

' _They're not prey, Violet. This is all part of the plan_ ,' I had to remind myself. I had been in my wolf form for too long and I could tell Apex was getting stronger by the minute.

The only way I could open the door was by pulling at it and that whole no-opposable-thumbs thing was a problem here. I would have to change back to my human form if I ever wanted to get out of the store.

Since I couldn't let anyone see my face, I transformed into my transitional stage so I had all the characteristics of a wolf, only I could stand on two feet like a human. I whipped the door open, glancing one last time back at the remaining people in the store to take in their horrified faces. Sadly, they looked even more scared than they did when they thought I was an actual wolf.

Trying not to dwell on the thought, I sprinted down the street, in the direction that I had seen John disappear into. Alarmed civilians jumped out of the way as I raced past, shoving a few people out of the way if they didn't move fast enough.

The plan was to meet back in the forest where we had slept, but judging from the sirens I could hear growing closer in the distance, I wasn't so sure that would be possible. There was no way they wouldn't notice the monster running through the streets either.

I turned a corner, transforming fully into my human form now, but still standing out of place with my disheveled clothing. I realized my attempt at blending had failed miserably when I was suddenly surrounded by flashing red and blue lights; two police cars had pulled up in front of me. One had pulled up directly onto the sidewalk so my escape route had vanished.

"Put your hands up!" one of the officers yelled as he pointed a gun at me. There were four officers in total, all hiding behind their cars and pointing their guns directly at me. My eyes frantically searched around me, looking for any form of escape; I came up empty.

I slowly lifted my arms, backing away from the guns. I knew what I had to do but I really, _really_ didn't want to.

I could see one of the officers reaching for his handcuffs and in that moment, I knew that my choices had all been used up. I slowly started to lower my hands, reaching for the sleeves of my shirt.

"Hey, freeze! Don't make us shoot!" the only female officer yelled. I sighed, rolling my eyes at her.

"Then just don't," I retorted, letting my hair fade to black and my eyes glow golden.

"I'm warning you!" she screamed, taking the safety off her gun. "Raise your hands and stay still."

"I'm sorry," I muttered, looking her directly in the eyes. "I just can't do that…"

In the following seconds, three things would happen: I would rip the sleeves off my shirt, a bullet would fire from the gun and graze my arm, and Apex would make himself well known.

Pain seared my arm as I let out a short scream, quickly being replaced by a howl as I lunged towards the officer, my teeth bared and no control over my body. My jaw closed around her hands, making her drop her gun as my teeth tore into her flesh.

' _Kill, kill, kill_ ,' Apex sang.

My teeth latched onto her shoulder; it would have been her throat had she not moved just in time. I had an iron hold on her and the taste of blood seeping into my mouth made it even harder to let go. The bullets shooting at me from all angles were good motivations though.

I turned, snarling at the police who had their shaking guns pointed directly at me. The woman underneath me was sobbing uncontrollably and weakly hitting me with her uninjured arm. It was more of a nuisance than anything and one quick bite to her biceps ended that. Another shot fired when my teeth sunk into her skin, this one narrowly missing my ear by an inch.

I leapt off the woman, jumping towards the man who had fired. His eyes widened and in his panic, the weapon fell from his hands. "Shit," he breathed, dropping to his knees to snatch up the gun. Before his hand could make contact with the metal, my teeth were latched onto his face and I was whipping my head back and forth, trying to shake the life out of him.

' _Kill him!_ ' Apex screamed. _'End his petty life!'_

My heartbeat quickened as the thought of death grew closer to a reality. The blood, his spastic movements… it all made me feel so much more alive! It was so exhilarating, in fact, that I had forgot about the other two officers trying to shoot me dead.

When one of the bullets made contact with my skin, Apex's control vanished and I realized exactly what position I was in and that I needed to leave immediately. Ignoring the burning pain in my arm and back, I shoved myself off the ground, changing from a wolf into an eagle and soaring into the sky. Bullets whizzed past me, barely missing by millimetres as I flew higher and higher. Once I was high enough in the air, I started towards the forest where John was waiting for me.

I could still hear the firing of guns as the police tried to shoot me out of the air but I was simply too high and far for them to get a good shot in. For now, I was safe. A second after the relief set in, so did the pain. I had been shot twice, both bullets only grazing my arm and back, and the stress of transforming so much had resulted in a pounding migraine that made it hard to think, let alone fly. I didn't even notice I was starting to fall until I looked down and realized I was only about six feet from hitting the ground.

With any strength that I could muster, I flapped hard and fast, trying to break my fall before I hit the ground. It managed to slow me down, but not completely stop me as I hit the ground. Only seconds before I landed, I transformed back into my human form. My feet made contact with the ground first, quickly giving out from under me as my knees hit the pavement, skidding across the ground for a few feet until the rest of my body finally caught up with it and I went rolling onto a gravel road and skidding to a stop.

I was lucky the road wasn't very busy because it took me a good ten minutes of lying in the middle of that road, wallowing in my own pain before I was finally able to move. My entire body was on fire; not only was blood gushing from my arm and back, but my knees, elbows, chest, and chin were now shredded to hell with little pieces of skin hanging off. Long black scrapes covered my body wherever I had touched the gravel road, and dark bruises were already starting to form.

To sum it up, I was a bloody mess but I had made it.

With a groan, I slowly peeled myself off the ground, standing onto my burning legs. Doing a quick look-around, I made sure no one was watching before I limped off the road and into the forest. I was a bit off my target and had to walk about fifteen minutes (which wasn't fun at all in my condition, mind you) but I finally made it to a familiar pine where John was impatiently waiting. When he saw me, at first he looked annoyed until he took in my entire appearance.

His eyes moved from my face, to my arm, then my chest, thighs, knees, and finally my feet. And because John is John, he lit up like a damn Christmas tree. "What happened to you?"

I scowled, crossing my arms over my chest and grinding my teeth together. "Well the police did that thing they like to do and tried arresting me, thanks for your concern."

John seemed to remember that I needed actual help and looked around, his eyes landing on the pile of clothes off to the side. He grabbed his old shirt that he had changed out of and ripped a decent sized chunk out of it. Balling up the cloth, he tossed it at me. "Here, use this for your face."

I shot him a confused look. "My face is fine." Other than my chin, which was pretty scraped up, my face had been the luckiest part of my body.

Now it was John's time to be confused. "Are you sure about that? You might have a little something on it," he said, pointing to his upper lip area. On instinct, I reached up and touched right under my nose, pulling it back to see crimson. And I'm not talking about just a little blood, it was _gushing_. The stress of transforming so much must have done more than just give me and migraine – which was finally starting to disappear.

"Oh crap," I muttered, pressing the cloth to my nose and wiping my bloody fingers on my shirt. "Thanks," I said as an afterthought.

I looked back to John to see him analyzing me again and out of habit, I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. He seemed to notice my discomfort and his eyes met mine. "What happened to your sleeves?"

"I had to rip them off." My voice came out a little muffled from under the cloth. "I knew I'd have to change into an eagle to fly away and the sleeves would have gotten in the way." Honestly I was kind of proud of myself for actually thinking that far ahead, considering the situation. John seemed to be impressed too because he didn't make any snide comment, so I took it as a success.

"Your arm is bleeding pretty badly," John pointed out, nodding to my arm. The bullet had grazed my upper arm, nearing my shoulder, so everything below it was a healthy shade of red by now. I turned around to show off my back, which wasn't bleeding nearly as badly as my arm. Thankfully, the bullet had barely even scratched it, just enough to make me notice.

"Surprise, surprise, I got shot," I replied with a bitter laugh. "It looks worse than it is though. I've been shot before and this isn't nearly as bad, trust me."

"I know," John said as he tore a few more pieces from his old shirt. "You bleed all over my new jacket, remember?"

"How could I forget?" I snorted, shifting the cloth in my hand so it wasn't completely covering my mouth. I barely noticed John approach me until he was sitting beside me, holding my arm in his hand. "Uh, what are you doing there?"

"Bandaging it up, genius," he retorted. He looked closely at the wound, dabbing it a few times with his cloth to clean it before he finally came to his conclusion. "It's just a flesh wound, you should be fine."

"Thank you, Dr. Allerdyce," I joked and he chuckled quietly. We sat in silence for a few minutes as he started wrapping my arm tightly in the fabric, making sure every inch of the wound was covered before tying it up.

The back would was a little more complicated though, because it wasn't like he could just wrap over the shirt (obviously). I had to lift the hem of my shirt up high enough so he could bandage the wound, but also being careful enough that I didn't let him see anything too scandalous. So basically, we were both in very awkward positions but trying to keep it professional.

When my nose finally stopped bleeding, John showed me what he had picked up for me. He wasn't sure what I wanted so he just kind of grabbed everything but I'm not going to lie, he didn't do all that bad. He'd grabbed a simple, black V-neck, a black and white plaid flannel that was far too big for me, a baggy pair of gray sweatpants, and a pair of jeans that surprisingly fit. I opted for the V-neck and sweatpants, considering my track record with needing to transform lately. John had also been 'kind' enough to snatch me a pair of tennis shoes and a baseball cap; the shoes were a few sizes too big but I wasn't complaining.

Once I was changed, bandaged, and more-or-less alive, I turned to John expectantly. He stared back at me and we just stood there in silence for a few moments wondering the exact same thing. "So… what now?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't really know, to be honest," John admitted. "I mean, my plan was just to get money and clothes but I think it's too risky to go back into the city again to rob a bank or something if the police are already after us. Not to mention that Stryker guy has probably heard about all that by now and is on the lookout for us."

"Yeah, I probably could have been a bit stealthier," I muttered, shifting uncomfortably on my feet. I should have changed into an eagle the second I got out of the store, not waiting until the last second like I had. "But we still need a plan; even if we had money right now, what would we do with it? Honestly, I think money is the least of our worries."

"So what do you suggest, Oh Wise One?" John asked, looking at me expectantly.

"We need to find the others," I said confidently. "We can't just hide in the forest anymore playing fugitive. We need to find Storm or the Professor; hell, I'd be okay with finding Logan at this point. We just need to find _someone_."

"Yeah, we do," John agreed with a sigh. "But the thing about that is, I don't know where anyone _is_. Trust me, I've thought about this, Vi. But I didn't see anyone escape. They could be dead for all I know."

I felt my heart drop when he said those words, because the truth is, I didn't know either. I hadn't been in the school long enough to learn all the escape routes and what to do in a situation like this; for all I knew, everyone could be dead and I'd have no idea. I had been relying on John for having a plan and to know what to do, but he was as lost as I was.

"We need to find somewhere safe," I finally decided. "If Stryker is really on the hunt for us, he's going to start combing the forest surrounding the Institute and we'll be sitting ducks."

"Where? It's not like I have any friends or family around here," John said, running a hand through his hair. "And I don't mean to point this out, but your family is literally in another country."

I cringed slightly at the words; I had been doing so well at trying to shove my mother and Hugh to the back of my mind but John just had to go and bring them up. John seemed to pick up on my reaction and all he could do was nod his head in acknowledgement. At the Institute, situations like mine weren't uncommon. Students came in constantly and a lot of them had no other families other than the X-Men… and now that I think about it, I didn't even know if that was the same case for John or not.

Did he have any siblings? A mother? What about a father?

Father.

Oh shit, I completely forgot I have a father now!

My entire face lit up and I threw my arms in the air. John simply raised an eyebrow at my outburst and waited for me to speak. "We could stay with my father! He lives in New York."

"You have a dad in NYC," John repeated. "And you didn't think about this before when we were sleeping on the cold ground."

"I forgot," I explained shortly. "But I'm sure he'd let us stay at his house. He kind of owes me one." Or a thousand. I mean, how many favors would you owe the daughter that you abandoned?

"So you're from Canada, but your dad lives here in New York," John clarified and I nodded. "It kind of makes me wonder why you're living at the Institute, and what the hell happened to you when I found you covered in blood, when your father lives so close. And what else you aren't telling me."

There was a hint of emotion in John's eyes, but I couldn't place it. Was it anger? If it was, he had no right to be angry; I had no obligation to tell him about my past and it's not like he's told me anything about him. I didn't know about his family, his past, or even where he's from. "It's not your place to know," I said simply. "Look, we have more important things to deal with right now. Can't we just go find my father and figure out where the rest of the mutants are?"

John looked like he wanted to stay on the issue but he let it go for now.

We started walking back towards the city in silence; John was still curious about my past but it was clear that I wasn't going to be telling him any of my dirty little secrets anytime soon. I mean, it wasn't like he was telling me his life story, so why should I?

"Violet," John breathed and I sighed.

"Look John, I really don't want to talk about it," I snapped. I whirled around, my lips pursed together and ready to have a yelling match if I had to. But when I saw John's face, I instantly realized something was wrong. His face was pale and staring up at the sky. Slowly, he lifted his arm and pointed upwards.

Following his gaze, my gut dropped. There, in the sky, was three jets. One was large and black, clearly the X-Jet, and the other two were fighter jets trying to shoot down the X-Men. All we could do was watch as the sky darkened and the clouds thickened. I shared a brief look with John as the clouds started circling, coming together to form at least a dozen tornadoes reaching down from the sky like God's fingers.

The two fighter jets skillfully dodged the tornadoes, barely missing them by mere feet as they chased after the X-Jet. We watched as a tornado formed right on top of the jet, making it spin out of control. Pieces of metal were ripped from the wings as the jet plummeted; seconds later a pilot came flying from the plane, falling fast. He fell for a few seconds before a large parachute exploded from his back and started carrying him down to safety.

I diverted my attention to the remaining fighter jet; it was clear that it was having a hard time manoeuvring around the tornadoes and would lose control soon. I crossed my fingers, praying that it would fly directly into a cyclone and spiral to its death – yes, a little morbid, but deserving. At the final second before the second pilot ejected himself, two missiles shot from the jet, aimed directly at the X-Jet.

"Oh God," I breathed, covering my mouth. I turned to John to see all the colour had drained from his face. I looked back up to the sky, and to my horror, the clouds had thinned and the sun shone through again. "They don't see the missiles."

"Go," John whispered. I could barely make out the single word but it was enough to send me shooting off the ground in the form of an eagle. Not even when I was flying from the police earlier today was my heart beating as fast as it was now. Because back then, I knew I would be okay. I knew I would heal from the bullet wounds and that the police couldn't catch me. But the X-Men… they couldn't heal like me. They would all die if I didn't save them.

I watched as one of the missiles twisted in the air, spinning out of control for a few seconds before exploding – no doubt the work of a mutant. The second missile however, stayed on track. I flapped my wings harder, flying as fast as I could to somehow intersect the missile before it hit the jet. I didn't know if my healing abilities would be able to withstand an explosion like that, but I had to try.

' _Faster!'_ I ordered myself. ' _You can't let them die!_ '

I was so close. Only a few more seconds and I would be between the missile and the jet – I would save them all. Mere _seconds_.

But I know from experience that it only takes a few seconds for everything to go to hell. All I could do was watch as the missile hit the back of the X-Jet, exploding and ripping a gaping hole in the back of the jet. Watch as the jet plummeted, smoke billowing from the back as it fell. Watch as a figure shot from the hole in the jet, a bloodcurdling scream emitting from her throat.

Rogue.

Without a second thought, I dove towards the falling girl, trying to ignore the voice in my head screaming at me to save the X-Jet. She was falling fast, but I was faster. My feet latched onto her arms, my talons digging slightly into her skin. There was a brief second were the falling halted before gravity caught up to us and her weight dragged us both down.

I flapped hard, trying to lift us higher in the air, but she was too heavy and I wasn't strong enough. Eagles hunt and carry fish and maybe the occasional dog or cat – they don't carry humans. No matter how hard or rapidly I flapped my wings, the girl was simply too heavy for me to carry.

I was focusing so hard on lifting Rogue that I didn't notice the draining sensation until my entire body suddenly froze. It was like my soul was draining through my feet where I was holding Rogue by her bare arms. My wings tensed, unable to keep us in the air, even though Apex screamed in my head to move. ' _Let go of her or you'll both die_ ,' Apex snarled. But even if I wanted to, my entire body was so frozen that I couldn't even release my grip on Rogue.

If my gut hadn't already dropped enough, it basically fell off a cliff when I could feel my feathers start to shrink back into my skin. Just as my black feathers began to disappear, I could see brown ones sprout from the arms of the girl below me. It was as if Apex had transferred from my body to Rogue's, leaving only his screaming voice in my mind.

' _No, no, no.._.'

"NO!" My internal screams vocalized as I completely transformed from an eagle into my human body. Wind whipped at my face as I fell, feeling like a thousands knives, dragging their edges against my skin. My body twisted in the air as I fell, my arms thrashing as I tried to grab hold of something - anything - to catch me before I hit the ground.

My fingers stretched to grab onto Rogue, but as I fell next to the eagle, I recognized the look in her eyes. The pure animal had emerged and it was no longer Rogue in control; whether it was Apex or her own little monster, she was no longer in control of her mind. So now I was falling with no hope of being saved.

Seconds later, my body slammed into branches; first being whipped by the smaller ones before slamming into a thick branch and crushing my ribs. My body flipped over the branch, landing on a thicker one below and tumbling to the ground, taking down a million branches and twigs as I fell. I hit the ground hard, barely taking notice of the sound of my arms snapping under my body.

I barely registered two sets of feet running towards my twisted and broken body before my eyes lulled shut, hoping that when I woke up, I would be completely healed.

 **A/N: This chapter and the next one was originally supposed to be 1 chapter but it was already 9,000 words and I wasn't even finished yet so I just decided to cut it into two, which actually worked out quite nicely. It kind of makes me wonder how long AP is going to end up being if I keep cutting chapters in two! I mean, a 9,000+ chapter isn't necessarily a bad thing, but so much happens that I figured it would just be easier to read it over a span of two chapters rather than 1.**


	15. Lesser Evils

_In a couple of years_  
 _tides have turned from booze to tears._  
 _And in spite of the weather_  
 _we could learn to make it together._

-The Youth, MGMT

"Violet... Violet..."

Soft shaking, gentle voice. It was a female, but I was too dazed to recognize it.

"Vi, get your ass up."

Rough jab, annoyed voice. This time it was a male, and I could definitely place it as John.

A low groan escaped my mouth as my eyes blinked open. Two faces appeared in vision, both leaning over me as I woke up. John look calm, if a bit impatient, while Rogue looked more worried, and not just for me. "It's about time," John muttered as I sat up. A piercing pain shot through my head, down my spine, and echoed through my bones. Another groan escaped my lips as my head fell into my hands.

"How are you feeling?" Rogue asked, crouching down next to me. She handed me a bottle of water, which I slowly sipped at. I already started to feel better as soon as the liquid touched my lips.

"Like I fell out of the sky," I rasped. The memories of what had happened were slowly coming back to me; saving Rogue, her taking my powers, falling. I was lucky that she hadn't touched my skin for too long or else my healing might not have kicked in in time. She must not have held onto my shapeshifting abilities for too long either or else she would be flying around for God knows how long.

"Wonder why." Ah, John. Always with the unnecessary attitude. "And not meaning to rush you or anything, but you really need to wake up faster."

"Oh I'm _so_ sorry to inconvenience you," I spat. "It's not like I'm in any grueling pain or anything. Look, whatever you have to do, I'm sure it can wait."

Rogue and John shared a knowing look and my stomach flipped slightly. "Wait... what's going on?" I asked, glancing in between the two of them.

"We saw the X-Jet go down, Vi," John said quietly. "We need to get to the crash site. We carried you part of the way but it's too far for us to walk and we need to go see if they're..."

Alive.

"Oh," I muttered. Rogue's pale, drained face suddenly made so much more sense to me. She wasn't worried that I was hurt or had risked my life saving her - which she still hadn't thanked me for - she was worried about the people who she considered family and were probably dead. Bobby. Logan. Whoever else was in the X-Jet when it went down. "I'm sorry."

Rogue looked away, tears welling up in her eyes. "Yeah," she whispered, wiping a stray tear from her cheek with a sniffle.

"So you need me to turn into an eagle again and fly over to the crash site," I clarified. John nodded. "Look, I know how important this is but... I don't know if I can."

Rogue's head snapped to look at me. "What?"

"I don't know how much more my body can handle, Rogue," I tried to explain. My voice was shaky and it didn't take a doctor to tell that I was physically and mentally drained. "I'm putting a lot of stress on my body by transforming this much and I'm not giving myself time to heal. If I try to fly over there, who knows what'll happen?"

"Time to heal," Rogue repeated. "Violet, you just had _hours_ to heal. These are our friends we're talking about; we can't just leave them behind because you're tired."

"Yeah and after a fall like that, I should have been out for at least a full day. You drained my powers Rogue, I was lucky to have healed at all," I snapped back but winced, when another bolt of pain shot through my body. "Look, I'm stressing my powers too much-"

"So you're just going to let them die then, is that it?" Rogue argued.

She didn't get it. I wasn't used to using my powers this much, and she didn't understand the stress it put on my body. It wasn't like I was transforming from human to wolf every so often, I was shifting into animals that I wasn't used to and hurting myself so much that I would need rest even in my human form. She didn't understand the pounding in my head or the fact that my bones felt like they would shatter at any second.

She just didn't know.

"Fine," I breathed. "I'll do it."

Rogue let out a sigh of relief, running her fingers over her forehead. I could tell she was too relieved to say anything so I didn't bother pressing her into a 'thank you' even though I felt it was quite necessary. I pulled myself up, with the help of John, and leaned up against the nearest tree I could get my hands on. My head spun and black dots appeared in my vision. I let out a low groan but no one seemed to hear.

"Where did the plane go down?" I asked, squeezing my eyes shut to try and block out the pain and nausea.

"A few miles that way," John said, pointing South. "It couldn't have been too far and we carried you part of the way."

He was saying it as if that somehow made up for the fact that I was turning into an eagle for the third time that day. Because yeah, that _totally_ makes up for the pounding headache, nosebleeds, and general pain that usually accompanied turning into an eagle. I don't know what it was about the bird, but for some reason, it always took the biggest toll on me. Not even a wolf or a lion was as bad as the bird was but it was our only option.

"I really don't want to do this," I said to John, quiet enough that Rogue wouldn't hear. I thought that maybe this past day might have changed his opinion on me - shown him that I would truly do anything to help my friends - but my body just couldn't handle any more transforming.

But I was wrong. John just kind of stared at me for a moment before sighing and running a hand through his hair. "I know, but every time you say that you can't, all I think of is my friends lying under a pile of rubble."

"If they're dead, I can't help them," I argued. "I'm not being a hero, I'm looking for death."

"And what if they aren't?"

I stayed silent at that. No matter how much pain I was in, I couldn't argue with that. Because even though what I was going through right now was hell, I could still heal. All Rogue must be imagining is Bobby slowly dying in a pile of rubble. And no matter how much I needed the rest, I couldn't be the one to crush her hope and kill her boyfriend.

"Can you turn around?" I asked, leaning against the tree.

"Why?" John scoffed.

"It took a lot of effort stealing these clothes so I'm leaving them behind when I transform so I don't destroy them anymore than I already have."

"Fair enough," John muttered, turning around. When his back was facing me, I slipped out of my clothes and walked behind a tree, so even if the boy peeked, he wouldn't be able to see me naked. I mean, not like he'd want to; my entire body was blue and yellow from the bruises that covered my skin. I looked like I had gotten hit by a train.

' _Or fell out of the sky_ ,' I thought cynically.

Sighing, I took one final breath before crouching down. "I really, _really_ don't want to do this," I said one last time before launching myself into the air. Within seconds, I was an eagle again, carrying myself further into the sky. I was flying a bit crooked from my injuries, but it wasn't quite as horrible as I thought it would have been. But it may have also just been the adrenaline kicking in.

Thankfully, it wasn't a far flight; only a few minutes of flying and I was already at the crash site... if you could call it that.

I don't know what John and Rogue were defining as a 'crash' but the plane was in perfect condition and landed nicely on the ground. Tents were set up around the jet and people were scattered all over the place. I could easily pick out Bobby, Jean, Storm, Logan, two blue people, and a guy in a metal helmet. Everyone was crowded around a fire, looking serious as they talked. Everyone save for Bobby, that is. He was sitting further away on a tree stump, staring at the ground. I don't think he noticed it but the stump was frozen solid and frost was creeping across the grass around him.

For a second, I couldn't place why he was so sad but then I remembered that earlier that day, he had witnessed his girlfriend fall out of a jet and plummet to her death. Who knew if he saw me come to her rescue?

I circled about, letting out a series of whistling noises - yes, I know, whistling lame but that's the sound eagles make, I guess. Trust me, I was disappointed too - to try and get his attention. It wasn't really to comfort him or anything, just so he would look up and maybe recognize me and try to communicate. There was no way I could turn back into a human and then a bird again to make the trip back. I either had to stay a bird and go back to John and Rogue, or turn into a human and stay the night with the rest of the X-Men.

I chose to stay with John and Rogue. Bobby had everyone else; I couldn't leave Rogue with only John.

When Bobby looked up and saw the eagle circling him, he clearly didn't recognize me. No, he burst into tears, his face falling in his hands and his entire body crumpling on the ground. When his knees hit the frozen ground, ice shot out in every direction, freezing every blade of grass, bug, rock, and tent in a twenty meter radius. It even reached the group by the fire, freezing the flames and frosting over everyone's feet.

The group turned to look at the broken boy, sobbing on the ground before sharing a look. Storm took a step towards Bobby but Logan held out his arm. "Let me, trust me, out of everyone here, I know what he's going through."

Even from where I was, I could see how pale Logan's face was and the redness that surrounded his eyes. He was one of Rogue's closest friend's and he had lost her too.

Not wanting to listen in on what was sure to be a painful conversation, I perched myself in a tree above the group. The blue woman was the only one who glanced up at me but her gaze didn't linger long. Everyone else was too focused on Jean reading the mind of another blue person - this one resembling a blue devil. It was then that I started to feel the affect that Apex was having on me.

My body began to sway on the branch, the ground spinning below me. The words they were speaking were starting to slur together and I could only pick up bits and pieces. Cerebro... Alkali Lake... the Professor... Stryker...

I let out a low cry as I flapped my wings once to stay balanced but I couldn't help myself from falling forward. I was able to catch myself after a heartbeat of falling and I landed on another branch below. The blue girl looked up at me again, but this time, her gaze lingered.

"Looks like we've attracted a scavenger," she said coldly. Even with the pain and dizziness I was feeling, I still had time to be offended. ' _Bitch what? I am a bird of prey!_ '

The man in the helmet glanced at me with little interest in his eyes. He looked back at the group to say, "We leave for Alkali Lake in the morning." His voice was so devoid of any emotion, it actually caught me off guard. The man turned around and started walking away, looking up at me again with a sliver of annoyance in his eyes. I barely had time to move before I noticed the small flick of his hand.

Seconds later, a small piece of metal dislodged itself from the jet and shot towards me. I let out a short shriek before launching myself from the branch and into the air. The helmet guy looked mildly surprised that I had been smart enough to notice the piece of metal shooting towards me - but then again, he also thought I was a dumb bird. I wanted to stay and try to communicate with the others, but the message I was receiving from the helmet guy was loud and clear.

I didn't want to test my luck anymore.

I shot towards John and Rogue, leaving the tense camp in the background as I flew. I was eager to get back but the more I flapped my wings, the more the earth seemed to tilt around me. I didn't even notice I was steadily beginning to fly lower and lower until tree branches were whipping against my face. I tried getting myself higher again but I was unable to fly higher than the treetops.

And then I started falling. At this point, it felt like my brain was liquid and my limbs would fall off my body; it was physically impossible for me to stay as an eagle any longer. The second my feet hit the ground, I was human again, stumbling onto the forest floor, into a patch of bramble. The world was spinning so fast around me, it reminded me of the one and only roller coaster I went on the ended with me puking onto Hugh's shoes.

I wasn't good with rides.

A mixture of vomit and blood spewed from my mouth, spraying the ground around me. My eyes rolled back in my head and my entire body spasmed, my back arching into a bridge and my limbs stiffening completely. Blood splattered from my mouth and my nose, soaking my face, chest, and everything that surrounded me in crimson.

And then it was over.

My entire body suddenly relaxed and the violent vomiting stopped, leaving me dazed, naked, and confused on the cold forest floor. All I could do was lay there for a few more minutes, breathing heavily as I recovered from what just happened. I had told them... I had told them that using my powers was too much stress on my body but they hadn't listened.

I wasn't going to risk my life for them anymore.

After a few more minutes of laying there, I was finally able to move again. When I pulled myself to my feet, my head was no longer spinning and even the migraine that always accompanied Apex was gone. It was like my little seizure/vomiting/episode thing had rid my body of the stress from using my power so much in one day. It even seemed like my bruises were a few shades lighter.

Weird.

That still didn't mean I was planning on tapping into Apex anytime soon, but it did make the walk back much more pleasant, despite it being freezing and I was naked. The walk wasn't too long because I had flown most of the way, and thankfully, I was able to find my clothes fairly quickly when I got there. John and Rogue obviously didn't notice my arrival because they seemed shocked when I stepped into view.

"You're back already?" John asked. It was then that he took in my full appearance and his face paled a few shades. I would have had the same reaction if I were in his shoes; my face was saturated in blood and it dripped onto my chest and was splattered on my arms. Random smears covered my face and arms, and you could still see the bruises from my previous fall. "What happened?"

"You mean besides getting shot at by police and falling out of the sky trying to save my friend?" I clarified sarcastically. "It's actually a funny story: my _friends_ forced me to use my powers after I distinctly remember telling them that it was too much stress for my body to handle. So yeah, that's what happened."

"So it's all your blood?" Rogue asked. John and I both looked at her with sickened expressions on our faces. Not because of her question, but because of the way she had said it. I knew she was worried about her boyfriend and all but she didn't have to sound so damn _hopeful_. The mutant shied away from our glares and averted her eyes to the ground. "Sorry... I'm just anxious."

I sighed, trying not to hold a grudge against the girl, even though she was putting me through a ton of hell today. It wasn't her fault, she was worried about her friends and I get that. I understood the second I saw Bobby's sobs at the camp. "Yeah, it's all mine. Your boyfriend is fine."

Rogue perked up, completely forgetting about my injuries. "He's alive?"

"They're all alive," I snorted. "By the way, did you actually _see_ the plane crash or did you just send me out there for shits and gigs? The plane was fine, there was barely even a scratch on it."

John and Rogue shared a confused look. "We saw it go down," John argued.

"And I saw it landed perfectly," I retorted. "They have tents and a _campfire_ for heaven's sake. Trust me when I say they're all fine. They even picked up a few friends."

"Who?" Rogue asked.

"Two blue people and a guy with a metal helmet. One was a blue girl with red hair and the other was a blue devil. I didn't catch their names though," I explained.

"Magneto," Rogue muttered, her eyes getting a distant look in them. I could see a sliver of hatred in her gaze but I didn't question it. "the 'devil' was Kurt; he's a friend of Jean and Storm's I think. And the girl was Mystique, she's with Magneto."

"Were they in trouble?" John asked.

"No, I told you, they're fine," I replied.

"Whenever Magneto is around, everyone isn't fine," Rogue said with a scowl. "Is he keeping them hostage?"

"I think if they were being kept hostage, that would have been one of the first thing I'd tell you," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. Yes, I was acting salty but I still wasn't pleased with the fact that they made me use my powers again. "Look, I don't know what the big deal is with this Magneto guy but just trust me when I say everyone is alive and well. It might be a bit tense but I think that's mostly based on the fact that our home got attacked and they saw their friend fall out of the X-Jet."

"Did you tell them where we were?" Rogue asked and I shook my head. "Why not?" She sounded mad.

"I was a bird, Rogue," I deadpanned. "Inter species communication isn't really anyone's strong suit. If I were to turn back into a human and tell them you were alive, I wouldn't have been able to come back here. There's no way I'd have been able to shift into an eagle again to make the journey again; making it there was hard enough."

"So they have no idea we're alive?" John clarified.

"Listen, I'm sorry, okay?" I finally snapped. "Yeah, it would have been great to let them know that we're all okay, bur the fact of the matter is that I physically couldn't, even if I wanted to. All I can give you is that I heard them talking and I know where they're heading next."

"Where?" Rogue perked up immediately.

"Alkali Lake." I was met with blank stares. "It's in Canada, about thirty minutes from where I grew up. I don't know what the X-Men need from there but they leave in the morning. So I think our best bet is to get a good night's rest and we can meet them there in the morning. So if you don't mind, I'm going to go wash this blood off me now."

"Violet wait," Rogue called, just as I pushed past them. I turned around, my brows furrowed and my eyes narrow. "How's Bobby?"

My gaze softened and I instantly felt bad for being so short with her. Of course she was just concerned about her boyfriend; if these were normal circumstances, she wouldn't have been so desperate for answers.

But how could I answer her question? ' _Oh yeah, he's just dandy, other than the fact that he thinks you're dead and he's having a meltdown as we speak._ ' No, that would be cruel. So the closest thing I could get to the truth was, "He's alive."

Thankfully, that seemed to be enough for the mutant and she nodded. With that, I turned and walked towards where John had set up a campfire. There was a pile of clothes next to the fire so I grabbed my old shirt and ripped a piece from it, using it to scrub off the drying blood covering my body.

I was hungry, thirsty, tired, and anxious, but I knew I wouldn't be able to solve any of those problems tonight. There was no way I would be sleeping tonight, even if I wanted to.

I had been sitting alone for about ten minutes before John came, plopping down on the ground beside me. He opened his mouth to say something, but for once he was at a loss for words. I turned to him. "Just spit it out, John."

"I don't understand you," he admitted after a moment. "Like, at all."

"I'm sorry?" It came out as more of a question than anything. "What about me is so hard to understand?"

"Everything," John answered calmly. "Just... everything."

"You can't narrow it down a little?"

"You just... appeared. There was no warning, no clues, you just showed up and collapsed in my arms. And I know, you killed your mom and had to get away, which isn't as uncommon as you'd think, but then you disappeared again for a few weeks." John paused to collect his thoughts. "No one knew what happened to you, where you went, why you left... I didn't even realize how much I didn't know about you until earlier when you mentioned your dad."

"John, you're rambling," I pointed out bluntly.

He snorted and shook his head slightly. "Yeah I know, I just... I don't understand you. You have so many secrets and you get upset over the simplest things but don't even bat an eye when someone actually insults you. You looked terrified when Logan thought he recognized you, and you keep every part of your life a secret," he ranted.

"What's your point?" I snapped, running a hand through my hair. Some strands were clumped together by dried blood.

"My point is that I know absolutely nothing about you, but here I am, putting my life into your hands. I want to trust you but..." John searched my face. In the firelight, his eyes almost looked the same color of the flames. "But I don't even know you. I don't even understand your powers."

I took a second to let the words sink in as I stared at the fire. It crackled in the otherwise silent night, and the way the flames danced made me almost jealous of their freedom. All I've ever wanted in life was to be free from something; free from my brother and his friends, free from the guilt that was constantly weighing me down, and now, free from Apex's control.

But the thing about freedom is that it's a lot easier to achieve when you have someone to help break you out of your mental prison. And even though John was probably the last person I would ever dream of telling my secrets to, he was the only one willing to listen.

"I've been bullied my whole life," I explained, breaking the long silence. "My brother, my twin actually, and his friends used to bully me mercilessly. And it wasn't just harmless teasing... they made my life hell. They taunted me every day, threw things at me, pushed me into lockers, kicked me, punched me, you name it, they did it. I grew up hating them, being angry all the time because of _them._ I hated them, I hated my father for leaving me, I hated my powers for making me this way... I was just so constantly angry that I got used to it."

John remained silent as I went on. "It just... it ruined me. My powers are completely reliant on my emotions, and the thing is, the only emotion I felt was anger throughout my whole life. So the only thing I could turn into was a wolf."

"But what about your other forms, the lion and the eagle?" John asked.

"The lion represents bravery and the eagle is freedom. I think the reason turning into an eagle takes such a toll on my body is because I've never really been free before. I've always felt trapped, so now that I actually have freedom, I'm just not used to it," I tried to explain. It didn't make a ton of sense but that was the only explanation I had for why my body rejected being an eagle so much.

John narrowed his eyes slightly. "Violet, every time you transform into an eagle, you end up covered in blood or passing out. And now you're telling me that it's your own mind that's making that happen?"

I paused, seeing the flaw in my logic.

"Do you not see how you're hurting yourself?" He wasn't saying it out of concern or anger or any emotion really. He was just stating the facts. "It's not your body rejecting your powers Vi, it's you. It's all in your head. The sooner you accept your powers as part of you, the sooner you'll be able to actually control them."

Everyone had been telling me that from the beginning, saying that just had to learn to accept Apex as a part of me. But for some reason, when John was saying it now, it finally clicked. I _needed_ to finally accept Apex as more than just my powers; I needed to accept him as a piece of me.

I turned to John, a strained smile on my face. "Everyone - _everyone_ \- has been telling me that from the beginning. I understand what you're saying, trust me I do, but I just don't know how to accept Apex as a part of me."

There was a short pause before John finally asked the question I had never truly been able to answer. "Who's Apex?"

"What?" I asked.

"I keep hearing you, the Professor, and Storm talk about Apex, but I have no idea who it is. You just mentioned him now, so who is he?" John pressed.

How could I even begin to answer that? Did I just flat out say he was my other personality that sometimes liked to take over my body and urged me to kill people constantly? There was no real was to explain Apex without telling John my entire life story.

"It's a long story," I said, trying to brush him off.

"We've got time, Violet."

I glanced up at the night sky, and then over at Rogue, who was already fast asleep. Finally, I looked at John, who was staring intently at me. I couldn't read his expression. There was a long moment before I finally just laughed. "This is funny."

"Uh, how?" Now John was just plain confused.

"You go on this long tangent about how I'm so mysterious and that you can't trust me if you don't know me, but here you are, not telling me anything about yourself. I don't know anything about your past, where you grew up, what your parents were like, how you discovered your powers... and now you're waiting for me to tell you every little detail about my life when you can't even tell me a sliver about yours."

John looked slightly taken aback. He had been caught in his own hypocrisy.

"Look, how about we make a little deal?" I offered. "I will tell you everything - my past, my powers, Apex - if you tell me the same about you. Trust works both ways John, if you want to trust me, I have to be able to trust you too."

"You want me to tell you everything about my life?" John clarified. When I nodded, he scoffed. "Fat chance of that."

"Fine then," I sniffed, turning back to the fire. "But if you know anything about me, you know that I can keep a secret. No matter what you tell me, it stays here, by this fire. No one else has to know."

I could tell John was thinking about it because usually, he would have just blown me off with a snide comment. But like me, he needed to talk to someone; I was just the only one who would give him time to listen.

"So you'll tell me about Apex then?" John clarified hesitantly.

"John, I'll tell you about Apex and more," I promised. There was a sick feeling in my gut telling me that I shouldn't spill my secrets to this guy I barely even knew - barely even liked. But I also knew that I couldn't keep hiding myself away from everyone. I had spent my entire life trying to keep Apex a secret, trying to keep my murders a secret, trying to keep every little detail about me a secret.

No more.

John was right; it wasn't the stress of transforming that was hurting me so much, it was more than that. And it was time I dealt with that.

"Fine," John finally agreed after a few minutes of silence. "But you have to go first."

"Okay, I can do that." It was more of me trying to convince myself than him. I took a shaky breath before turning my entire body to face John, rather than the fire. Sitting cross-legged in front of him, I began. "My powers manifested at the zoo..."

And then, I told him everything.

I told him about Hugh slowly growing to hate me, about the Professor coming to visit me, about both times I attacked Clyde... I started from the moment I discovered I was a mutant to the moment I got back from my short 'vacation' as a bird not too long ago. Every little detail of my life, I was sharing with John.

He remained quiet throughout the whole story, nodding along at parts, or maybe looking a bit angry at other parts. When I told him what had been the actual reason for me attacking Jay, the fire next to us roared and sparks danced over our heads. Clearly he wasn't fond of the word 'freaks' either.

I finally ended off with my vision of Hugh as a child in his white pajamas. I felt a little silly trying to explain it but John didn't say anything.

"I don't know," I breathed. My mouth was dry from talking so much. "I know it sounds stupid but I feel like he's forgiven me, you know?"

For the first time since I started telling my story, John finally said something. "It was a hallucination, Vi. You saw what you wanted to see."

"No, I know, it's just..." I trailed off, trying to find the words to make him understand. "Look, I know you won't get this because you don't have a twin, but even though Hugh and I have hated each other since we were young, we've still always had a connection. One time Hugh was with his friends in the forest and, God knows how, he hit his head on a big rock and knocked himself out. I know it sounds stupid but I had a pounding headache until Clyde, Gunner, and Randy dragged him home."

John still looked dubious but I didn't really expect him to understand. Hugh and I were fraternal twins; even though we might not have loved each other, we still had a connection. If one of us was sick, the other would know. If one of us was hurt, the other would feel it. It was the reason why I never hurt him as Apex and why he never told his friends that I was a mutant... well that's what I've always told myself at least.

"I know you don't believe me but ever since I saw him in my dream, I've just felt at peace about the whole thing. Like I just know that he doesn't hate me anymore," I explained. Not wanting to dwell on the subject too much, I moved on. "I think that's pretty much all I have to say about my life. So now you know."

John opened his mouth to say something but I interrupted him before he could say anything. "I don't want your pity by the way. I told you the facts to get it off my chest, not to earn some sympathy."

John rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because I'm really the type of guy who goes around pitying everyone, right?"

I laughed. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry I even said anything. But now it's your turn."

"Do I have to?" John said with a short laugh. I nodded and he sighed, I could tell how much he really didn't want to do this. "It works both ways though; I don't pity you if you don't pity me."

"Deal," I agreed. To be honest, I didn't have a ton of pity left in my body to be used on someone like John but we'd see.

After a moment of hesitation, John began. "I was only eight when my step-father tried drowning me in our pool..."

 **A/N: pretty fun chapter to write so I hope you enjoyed! Next chapter is going to be focused on John's past so you get a bit of a break from Violet for a while ;)**


	16. John

_Some say love is not for sinners  
I believe that isn't true  
'Cause when I was finished sinning  
Love came down and showed me you_

-Trip, Hedley

John was only eight when his step-father tried drowning him in the pool.

John had been swimming in the pool, holding onto the edge and not swimming more than a foot away before coming back, his heart pounding from the fear. He had always been wary of the water after his friend, Dave, died from being swept out by currents.

The police had found his body three days after he disappeared, caught on some rocks and being battered by the waves. Someone's whose daddy was on the police force told John all about how Dave's body was swollen and pale with a bluish tinge to it.

That image always popped in John's mind whenever he tried taking a leap of faith and swimming away from the wall. After a second, he would be back to clinging to the wall while his mother, Karen, and step-father, William, laughed at him.

"C'mon kid, stop being a baby," William sneered, stepping lightly on John's hands so he had to let go of the wall. "It's only water."

Karen never stood up for John, she only sniggered and took a swig of her nasty beer.

At only eight, John already knew he hated William with a burning passion. John's father, an electrical lineman, had died when John was only two years old after he fell out of a cherry picker while on the job. It wasn't until a few years later that he found out that the ol' man grabbed the telephone lines, holding on just long enough to melt his hand and send him tumbling out of the cherry picker.

Whether it was suicide or not, John would never know.

Soon after that, when John was about five, Karen met William online and decided he was a decent enough guy to marry so she uprooted their entire lives from Sydney, Australia, and flew all the way to New Jersey, America, to live with some shit-head whose only redeeming quality was that he had an outdoor pool. An outdoor pool that he barely even cleaned.

But that proved to be more bad than good on that sunny day in William's backyard.

"You're never going to learn if you won't let go of the wall," William said in a husky voice, crushing his empty beer can with his hands and tossing it over his shoulder. He had a large beer gut that made him look like he was pregnant whenever he walked. John had told his mother that once and she told him that if she ever said it to William, he'd get hit. By William or Karen, John wasn't sure.

William waddled over to the edge of the pool, jumping in and causing a large wave to splash over John. John spluttered and coughed when he came to the top, not seeing William in front of him until he grabbed the little boy's arms.

"Stop!" John tried as William swam away from the wall. He tried kicking and crying at first, but once he was in the middle of the pool, he'd rather William didn't let him go so he stopped.

The last word that John heard before William let go of him was: "Swim."

John immediately went under, his vision blurring and his legs frantically kicking, trying to get to the surface. William didn't make a move to pull him back up until John latched his chubby fingers on the hem of the man's shirt and tugged.

William pulled him up, looking disgusted at the child. How could he be so weak? What eight year old – from Australia, no less – couldn't swim? This kid needs to learn how to be a man.

Once again, Karen didn't say anything as William dunked him under the water again.

This time, William held him under by the shoulders, not letting John come back up. The child kicked and scratched at William's arms, silently screaming to be let back up. After a minute. William ripped the crying child out of the water and up to eye view. "Stop crying you little shit!" he screamed. "Grow up!"

William didn't even let John take a breath before plunging him back under the water and holding him down. John struggled, but figured that after a minute, William would let him back up again. But a minute passed… and then two…

Water was filling his lungs and his thrashing was getting weaker. His already blurred vision was starting to fade and in that single moment, John could only thing, ' _I'm going to die_.'

He was eight years old, and he already thought his life was about to end. How sickening is that? For twenty-seven seconds, he thought that he would never learn how to drive a car, never get his first job, never kiss a girl, never get married… he would never do anything of value, other than die in a swimming pool.

John was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't notice Karen dropping her beer and jumping into the pool, swimming towards William and John. She raked her nails down William's arm, hitting him with her other hand as she screamed. "Let go of him! You're killing him William!"

William blinked, a sickening darkness leaving his eyes, looking into Karen's terrified face. He released John and Karen pulled her son out of the water.

John coughed, water spraying out of his mouth as Karen lay him down on the hot pavement. She cooed and caressed her face. "I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry. I'll never let him hurt you again, I promise."

William was still standing in the pool, staring down at his hands, completely shocked. To Karen, she thought he was horrified at what he had just done. To William, the only thing he was horrified about was the fact that he hadn't been able to finish the job.

Karen rushed John inside, locking all the doors and laying him on the bed. She wrapped him in three blankets, bring him hot cocoa, and promising that they would leave William and never come back. "He'll never have the chance to hurt you again," were her exact words.

William banged on the doors for two hours until Karen finally let him in and started screaming at him. John didn't see the fight, he just lay on his bed, curled up in a nest of blankets as he listened to the fight. Karen was screaming, William was apologizing. And then William was screaming, Karen was crying.

He could hear plates being thrown against walls and doors being slammed. The last time they fought like that, their neighbors called the police to go see if everything was okay.

When the yelling finally stopped, John untangled himself from the blankets and tiptoed to the kitchen, peering in. Karen and William were still there, but now they were lying naked on the floor. Karen was curled up against William's chest, sleeping quietly.

William was awake though, and his eyes darted to John when he saw him. Smirking, he said quietly, "If you ever do that again, I'll snap your little neck, Johnny."

John didn't say anything, he just turned and tip toed back to bed.

[X]

By the time he was ten, John was used to listening to Karen and William's 'fights.' Sometimes they would be little arguments that were resolved within minutes. Other times, William would pin Karen to the ground and cut her with a knife until she apologized. And then they had sex, never mentioning the cuts again.

If John ever walked in on them, William would beat him until he was nothing but a crying mess on the floor. Karen never made a move to help though, the last time she had done that was with the 'swimming pool incident.'

If the teachers ever asked John what his black eye or cut lip was from, he would say he fell. None of them actually believed him, but most would just let it go. Because where he lived, they would rather mind their own business than stop a ten year old from being beaten. Real heroes those teachers were.

It wasn't like it happened on a daily basis, just when William was _really_ drunk and John did something to piss him off. In total, John only got hit four times, and that wasn't too bad, compared to Kyle Witherson, an eighth grader who got sent to the hospital when his dad broke four of his bones and pressed his face against a heated stove. See, in John's neighbourhood, kids 'fell' all the time. Sometimes they fell on fists, or beer bottles, or even down the stairs and onto stovetops, just like Kyle Witherson.

Whenever life seemed bad for John, he would just say, "Well at least I'm not Kyle Witherson."

Nobody wanted to be Kyle Witherson.

Whether the abuse was bad or not, John always found it easiest to just stay out of the house. He would usually go to the park and read, or go to the rough side of town to play basketball with the other kids.

One time when William was particularly drunk, John was on his way to the park to get out of the house for a few hours and he came across a large crowd. They were all holding signs and screaming into microphones. There were at least fifty people, all yelling and waving their signs around.

Don't Let Mutants Run Our City!  
EXTERMINATE THE MONSTERS!  
Mutants=Monsters

Cameras were everywhere, filming the uproar. John just watched quietly, a book in his hand. A woman with a microphone and camera rushed to his side, holding it in his face, John blinked a few times, shooting the woman an annoyed glare.

"What do you think about the mutant attack on the police force? Should something be done to control mutants?" she asked and John stared at her in confusion.

"What attack?" he finally asked.

A man nearby snorted. "Uneducated children these days," he sneered. John scowled at him, shooting him one of the nasty glares that William always wore.

"I'm ten, dipshit," he seethed. The man looked shocked and John turned back to the camera. "Those pigs probably deserved it." Without another word, John pushed past the woman and made his way to the park. He wore a smirk on his face the entire time, basking in the shocked looks of everyone around him.

The park was empty when he got there – everyone was too busy watching the massive mob scream about mutants. John didn't mind though, in fact he liked it. He would rather have an empty park to himself than have to throw a Frisbee back to a family every so often.

The only person in the park was a girl, about his age or a year younger. She came in after him, just as he settled down under an apple tree to read his book. She didn't hesitate as she stomped over to John and block his sunlight.

He looked up, annoyed. "Do you need something?"

The girl had black hair, which was tied in a long French braid. She had brown eyes and pale skin, with bow shaped lips. She smiled brightly at him, not even blinking at his harsh tone. "I think those pigs deserved it too."

Without another word, she dropped a lollipop in his lap and skipped away.

John didn't know who she was or where she had come from but even at ten years old, he knew that she was going to play a major part in his life.

[X]

The teacher, Mr. Philips, leaned back in his chair, a crossword puzzle in his hand and his brows slightly furrowed. It was math but as usual, he just gave John's class a bunch of Mad Minutes to do while he finished his crossword. The minute had long since passed and everyone had started acting like the eleven year old kids they were; throwing things, pulling hair, passing notes, burping contests, spit balls. John and his buddy, Alan, folded their Mad Minutes papers into paper airplanes and were flying them around the room.

John's airplane soared up over Jamal's head before taking a nosedive directly towards Jack, Red, and JJ. JJ reached up and grabbed the the plane, crumpling it up into a ball and whipping it back at John. Obviously that started a fight and everyone in the class immediately started whipping their crumpled math homework at each other. Mr. Philips looked up, slamming his book on the desk.

"That is _enough!_ I look away for not even a minute and you idiots are already starting shit!" he yelled, the vein in his neck throbbing. JJ, who was sitting right next to Mr. Philip's desk, pointed directly at the vein and laughed. If anything, the vein just became more prominent.

"JJ, you idiot!" Red laughed, slapping her brother upside the head. He twisted around in his seat and slapped her back. Now, if you knew anything about Red Karvarita, you knew that she did not back down from a fight. The brunette lunged forward, shoving JJ out of the desk and bowling him over onto the floor. "Don't hit girls!" she screamed as she continuously punched him in the stomach.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" John chanted along with the rest of the class.

"No, no fighting!" Mr. Philips yelled, trying to get a hold of Red to pull her away from JJ. Instead of stopping the fight, he only managed to hold Red steady for JJ to kick her square in the face. Blood instantly started to pour from her nose as the eleven year old girl crumpled to the ground, holding her nose. John could tell that she was trying her hardest not to cry but he could see tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

" _Ahem."_

The entire class froze at the sound of Principal Bane clearing his throat. It was almost comical the way they all turned at once to look at the giant of a man who took up the entire door frame he was standing in. John couldn't imagine what it must have looked like to Bane. Paper littered the floor, Red's desk was knocked over, JJ was laying on the ground, Mr. Philips was hold Red by the arms as a blood streamed from her nose.

To be fair, that was a pretty clear representation of what school was like where John grew up.

"I'm not going to ask," Bane decided aloud. "Henrietta, go to the nurse's office. José, go wait in the hall."

The siblings obediently did what he said, not even hitting each other on the walk of shame out the door; ticking off Mr. Philips was one thing, ticking off Principal Bane was a completely different story. His name was _Bane_ , that should say enough about your existence if you made him angry.

Bane cleared his throat as he walked to the front of the class. Only then did John notice the petite girl standing behind the principal. Long black curls framed her face with the ends tied up in pink ribbons. It wasn't hard to recognize her as the girl from the park who gave him a lollipop and when her eyes met his, he knew she recognized him too.

"Class, I'd like you to meet Juliette Caes. She just moved here from Louisiana and I expect you to treat her with the same respect that you treat each-" Bane cut off his own sentence when the words actually registered in his mind. "I expect you to treat her _better_ than you treat each other. If you kick her in the face, there _will_ be consequences." The class began to giggle but it faded quickly when they realized Bane wasn't trying to be funny.

Mr. Philips pointed to the empty desk across from John. "You can take a seat there, Juliette."

Juliette seemed a bit nervous and she shifted on her feet, clearly not wanting to move. To be fair, the people she was supposed to sit next to were pretty intimidating for ten year olds. They all had permanent sneers on their faces and looked like they had just come from a street fight. She had to sit across from John, Alan, and Jamal, in front of Alicia and behind Jack. Jack was bigger than any fifth grader John had ever met, Alicia never smiled, Jamal had a cast that said ' _hail Satan'_ written on it, and Alan... okay Alan was a pretty scrawny guy but with his pale skin and the dark bags under his eyes, John swore he was a serial killer or something.

"Don't worry, they don't bite," Mr. Philips' joked, giving Juliette a tiny nudge.

"Much," Jamal added with a grin, showing off a row of yellowing teeth. Juliette was pretty pale as it was but in that moment her face turned so white it almost seemed transparent.

"Oh shut up Jamal," John snapped, reaching forward and punching him on the shoulder.

Juliette slowly walked towards the empty desk across from John and took a seat, shooting a small smile at John to show her thanks. The class went on as normal with Mr. Philips handing out another set of Mad Minutes and settling down behind his desk again. It wasn't like they were actually getting marked for the work so most of them just filled in random answers and went back to talking.

John couldn't help the quick glances directed at Juliette; she was just so... different. She was the only person in the class who actually tried on her homework and when she was done, she flipped the sheet over and sat quietly at her desk, pretending not to notice John looking at her. She wasn't the only one who noticed apparently.

"Awe, does little Johnny have a crush?" Jamal teased and John instantly scoffed.

"Don't call me that," he snapped. "And no, I don't. We already know each other."

"Sure," Jamal replied easily. "You already know each other because you're her _booooyfriend."_ When he sang out the word, everyone around him sniggered; Juliette just glanced over in mild confusion.

"You're an idiot," John decided, leaning back in his chair. The end of his pencil met his lips as he fiddled with it.

"If I'm an idiot, what are you?" Jamal shot back. Not that it was much of an insult to John... actually it just kind of confirmed what he had just said. Their words were still pretty harsh though for a bunch of kids but their tones were light and friendly. This was just how they joked around.

"Normal?" It came out as more of a question than anything.

"Oh shut up," Jamal retorted with a short laugh. Just as he said it, the bell rang - a harsh screech that was far louder than it actually needed to be. "C'mon Johnny, why don't you go run off with your girlfriend?"

"Maybe I will," John joked, grabbing all of his books and walking away. As he walked, he called back, "And don't call me Johnny!" before jogging to catch up to the black-haired girl. "Hey, you're Juliette, right?"

"Yes, you're John." She wasn't even asking, it was just a statement.

"Yeah, we met at the park," he clarified. "We agreed that cops are pigs or something."

"And then I gave you a lollipop," she added with a small smile. The girl reached into her pocket and pulled out another one - this time yellow instead of red - and held it out to John. "Do you want another?"

"Uh, sure, why not?" He shrugged and took the candy from her, unwrapping it and popping it in his mouth.

"Will you sit with me at lunch?" Juliette asked suddenly.

"What?" He was taken off-guard - what kind of kid asked that kind of stuff? Most peopled would just sit where they wanted and make friends that way. But then again, Juliette wasn't like most kids. The way she dressed with wrinkle-free clothes, an expensive gold chain dangling from her wrist, and not a hair out of place made it pretty obvious that Juliette was a _bit_ richer than most of the kids here. John had seen her type and he knew she came from a cookie-cut family that genuinely cared for her and wanted her to succeed; hell, she was probably living in boarding school before she moved here.

And then she moved.

Even though John fit right in, probably even being classified as one of the nicer kids in his class, he had to admit that his classmates might be a bit... violent. So it kind of made sense why Juliette would feel out of place with the other crazies.

"John?" Juliette's voice snapped him out of his trance. "I'll give you more lolli's if you sit with me."

John snorted. "How much candy do you h - whoa."

She held out a bag of lollipops, probably the size of her head, that she had been keeping in her backpack. John could see white sticks peeking out from her pockets too so he could already tell that she was basically a walking candy shop. After seeing the mass amount of sugar she had on her and because John didn't have a lunch packed for him - thanks Karen - made John's decision easy.

"Yeah, sure, I'll sit with you at lunch."

[X]

The first day that John sat with Juliette at lunch, it was pretty hard to drown out the teasing from his classmates but he did it anyway because Juliette not only gave him three more pieces of candy, but half of her sandwich, and shared a bag of strawberries with him. It was probably the first time since grade one that John had gone home from school not hungry. So the next day, he sat with her again, this time without having to be asked.

Eventually people started to notice how John was getting a free meal every day and the teasing slowed down, replaced with kids moving to sit with _them_ instead. Gradually, their lunch dates grew to include seven other kids, with others stopping by for a piece of candy from Juliette. And instead of Juliette just sharing her paper bag lunch with everyone, she started packing everyone _their own_ sandwiches and strawberries for the kids who didn't get lunches packed for them.

And just like that, Juliette was officially untouchable. She was the caring mother that most of them never had and was one of the only people to treat everyone with respect, no matter how they treated her. It didn't take long before the nicknames came in: Mama J, Mother Etta, Jules, and of course... John's girl.

"Who is that?"

"Oh that's John's girl. Don't mess with her."

One time Jamal - one of the few people who genuinely hated Juliette - ripped her bag of candy away from her and pushed her directly in the mud. Now, Jamal was a big guy but he didn't stand a chance against JJ, Red, Alan, and John all tackling him at once. He was sent home early with a black eye and a chipped tooth.

So yeah, you don't mess with John's girl.

The nickname kind of fit though, because from the moment they met, John and Juliette were pretty much dating. They ate lunch together every day, he walked her home every day, he'd often spend the night at her house, they had their first kiss with each other, they told each other everything, and John wasn't the type of guy to say this lightly but Juliette was honest to God, his best friend.

She was quiet, studious, and a bit weird, but she listened to every rant about Karen and William, every cruel joke about others, and every story about the horrible things that have happened to other people. He became nicer when he met her, his grades started to raise, and he slowly became less bitter and more optimistic. It wasn't some staggering, ground-breaking change, but anyone who knew him could tell that he was a better person because of Juliette.

So up until they were about thirteen, John thought Juliette was absolutely flawless. That is until they were having supper at the Caes' house.

John spooned some mashed potatoes onto his plate before passing it to Mrs. Caes, careful to watch the candle so he didn't knock it over. "So, did you hear about that mutant attack on the news this morning?" Mrs. Caes brought up.

"No, what happened?" Mr. Caes asked.

"A mutant flooded an entire floor of a hospital in Cincinnati; forty patients had to be evacuated and the damage is up to a million dollars," she explained. "Ugh, it's just sickening to think about how the government allows monsters like that into hospitals. If it were up to me, they would make completely separate hospitals for mutants so innocent _humans_ don't have to suffer."

John paused as the words registered in his head. He had known that the Caes' generally didn't like mutants but he didn't know they were so... passionate. Honestly, John had always secretly wanted to be a mutant, to be strong enough to fight William, be able to travel back in time to make his father not kill himself on that cherry picker, to be able to fly away from all the shit that he was dealing with.

When he was alone, locked away in his room, he would sometimes focus on a piece of furniture to try to make it move. The closest that ever happened was when the fire place shot a ball of fire onto the carpet the exact second the William slammed his fist into John's gut. But later when John tried to create fire with his hands, nothing happened so he just ruled it as a freak accident and tried not to think about it again.

It was hard to ignore though when whenever he was angry, any fire near him would surge twice as hard as it had before. John just kept telling himself that there was no way that someone like him could be a mutant but deep down, he knew that he might finally be special. He was actually planning on telling Juliette after supper, since at this point, he was fairly sure he was right about being a mutant.

"Did anyone die?" Mr. Caes asked, chewing on his food.

"Thank Heavens, no," Mrs. Caes answered. "The monster is _claiming_ that it was an accident but anyone with half a brain could tell that it had intentionally flooded that hospital. It was probably trying to round up all the humans in one spot so it could kill them at once."

John couldn't miss how Mrs. Caes referred to the mutant as an 'it' rather than a 'he' or a 'she.'

"It sounds like an accident to me," John blurted. He immediately regretted the words when everyone at the table froze and turned to him, faces like stone.

Mr. Caes was the first one to warm up, a tight smile settling onto his face. "John, you're young so I understand why you wouldn't understand this but I'm going to tell you something that I want you to always remember. These mutants, they don't make mistakes. Every 'slip-up,' every 'accident' where someone gets hurt is an attack. They are not humans, they are demons sent from hell to try and eradicate the human race and every time we take pity on them or try to justify their sins, they grow stronger. So yes, it may _sound_ like an accident to you, but that's only because it's what they want you to think."

"Oh."

Passionate was an understatement, fanatic was more like it.

"What do you think, honey? You've barely said a word all supper," Mrs. Caes asked Juliette, who was silently chewing on her food. When she was spoken to, she set down her fork and swallowed so she could add her opinion. John held his breath, hoping - no, _knowing_ \- that Juliette would back up John and agree that the 'attack' sounded more like an accident than anything.

God, he was so wrong.

"I just don't understand how something like this could happen again," she began and John's heart plummeted. "I don't feel safe knowing that monsters like that are out there, trying to kill us all and nobody is doing anything to stop them."

"What do you think they should do?" Mr. Caes questioned.

"Kill them," she replied simply.

The second the two words left her mouth, darkness washed over the room as the five candles spread across the table burned out at once.

Mrs. Caes let out a short scream and Juliette instantly grabbed John's hand. The sound of Mr. Caes' chair screeching against the ground echoed through the massive house and his feet pounded against the ground as he made his way over to the light switch. After only a few seconds of darkness, they were sitting in a lighted room again. John turned to look at Mr. Caes, expecting to see eyes burning with hatred and accusation towards John.

Instead, he was met with an amused grin and playful eyes. "So much for our candlelit dinner," he joked. "Next time we talk about monsters, how about we make sure to close the windows." He gestured to the open window and the other three people let out a nervous chuckle.

Mrs. Caes places her hand on her chest and shook her head. "That was perfect timing for a breeze to pick up," she laughed. "I swear, I almost had a heart attack."

"I think that was a sign that we should probably stop talking about mutants at supper," John said, trying not to look too disgusted at the family, specifically Juliette.

"I agree," Mrs. Caes hummed. "That's enough scares for one night."

"That was the weirdest timing though," Juliette said with a slight laugh. "It was like in a horror movie!"

"Yeah," John attempted to agree, forcing a laugh. The family dinner continued with laughs about how terrified they still were and how absolutely 'perfect' the timing of the breeze was. But for the rest of the meal, John stayed silent. After he was done, he made an excuse that he wasn't feeling well so he could go home instead of spend the night at the Caes' like he was planning to.

He was trying his best to act nonchalant as he rushed out the door, not looking back as he began walking as fast as he could from the house. He almost made it to the road before he heard Juliette's voice. "John, wait!"

He stiffened, slowly turning around to face her. He didn't know why but he expected to see a Swastika tattooed on her forehead or something and he was expecting to be disgusted with the girl he saw behind him. But instead, the feeling of disgust melted when he saw her. She was wearing a loose gray tee, black jeans, and her dads shoes that she quickly threw on so she could catch up to John.

He _wanted_ to hate her because he knew damn well that it wasn't the breeze that blew out the candles. He He wanted to hate her because he knew that she hated what he was. He wanted to hate her because he knew it would be easier that way when the truth came out and she found out his secret.

But when he looked at her, he just couldn't.

"Are you okay?" Juliette asked, walking forward and holding John's hand in hers. "You kind of ran out of there."

"Yeah," he sighed, staring into her dark eyes. "I just started feeling sick at dinner and I didn't want to puke all over your house."

A smile twitched at her lips. "Okay, I just wanted to know that you were okay," she explained. "If you're feeling better, do you want to spend the weekend at my house? My parents will be out of town so we have the whole house to ourselves." If it were anyone else saying it, it would have sounded dirty but this was Juliette: she meant so they could eat as much junk food as they wanted and cuddle on the couch without getting interrupted.

"Yeah, I'd like that," John agreed. He was trying to stifle how much he really, really wanted to. He just... he couldn't hate her no matter how much he wanted to.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow then?" she asked, running a hand through her black locks.

"Yeah," John answered quietly. Juliette stepped forward pressing her lips to his and kissing him goodbye. "See you, J."

"Bye J," she replied. She turned to leave but John grabbed her hand and pulled her back. Before she could say anything, John kissed her again, pulling her tight to his chest. He knew they were young but he also knew what love was and he loved her. If he could learn that she hated him - even if she didn't know it yet - and still have the same feeling for her, he knew it was love. And so he told her.

"I love you," he admitted. His cheeks burned red because he wasn't the type of guy to fall in love, let alone admit it, but he just had to say it. "I, uh, just wanted to let you know."

A smile played at her lips as she squeezed his hand. "I love you too, John. A lot."

"I'll, um, see you tomorrow then," he said. Yeah, it was a great moment but it was awkward as hell and the thirteen-year old in him just wanted to escape.

Juliette nodded, not saying anything as she watched John turn and walk away.

Even though they told each other everything, John decided right then and there that this would be the one thing he kept from her. He couldn't, he just couldn't, have her hate him. She was the only girl - hell, the only person - that he actually considered a friend and having her hate him... it would break him, he just knew it.

[X]

"Please just consider what we're telling you, John."

John didn't blink at the white-haired lady who stood in his doorway. William and Karen where passed out on the couch and didn't even hear the lady knocking. John was waiting for Juliette to come over so they could celebrate his fourteenth birthday when he heard the knocking.

"I'm not a mutant," John said firmly, crumpling the brochure up in his hand and tossing it on the counter where month old bills and newspapers sat. "And my girlfriend is coming over soon so I want you to leave."

"We both know that isn't true," the woman, Ororo, replied. John's face screwed up in confusion.

"Yes it is? She's coming over now." The woman sighed, visibly annoyed by John's backtalk but was trying to remain collected.

She tried to explain, "I meant that we both know you're a mutant and a powerful one at that. Your powers will only continue to grow and without proper training-"

"Yeah, well, I've been doing fine on my own so far so I don't need your help," he snapped. "Nobody has died, nobody's found out, _nothing_ has happened yet and I'm planning to keep it like that. Now, if you don't mind, my girlfriend is going to be here any minute now and I really need you to go."

"Does she not know you're a-"

"John?"

The two turned to see Juliette standing behind the woman, looking slightly confused. John's gut dropped, instantly assuming that she had overheard what Ororo had been saying but after a second, he realized that she couldn't have been standing there long. She looked a little confused about the stranger standing at his door and the annoyed look on his face, but not horrified like he expected her to be. If she had overheard the truth, there would have been more of a reaction.

"Who is this?" Juliette asked, glancing at Ororo. She looked a little nervous, her eyes landing on the woman's white hair.

"Uh, just some lady trying to sell me something. Don't worry about it, J," he reassured. John turned back to the lady, who had a look of understanding in her eyes. "Look, the answer is no, okay?"

Ororo pulled another brochure from her bag and shoved it into John's hands. She spoke low enough so Juliette couldn't hear. "Look, I know that you're trying to be this tough, nothing-gets-to-you type of guy, but I know you're a kind boy. Bad guys don't get girls like that." She nodded her head to Juliette, who was patiently waiting for her boyfriend. "But I know how hard being a mutant is if you don't have the support you need, and I don't want to see anything happen to the nice boy that you are right now."

John blinked once and sighed, tossing the brochure off to the side like he did with the first one. "I don't know what you're talking about but I want you to leave. I just want to spend my birthday with my girlfriend and not have to deal with some random people trying to control me."

"We're not trying-"

"John, are you coming?" Juliette called. She wasn't being impatient, she just wanted to make sure John made the most out of his birthday.

Ororo turned around to look at the pretty girl in a floral dress. "Are you sure you two aren't a bit too young to be dating?" she asked in a friendly tone. but John was getting sick of her.

"People grow up fast around here," he mumbled, pushing past Ororo and slamming the door behind him. He would probably hear about the slamming from William later but he honestly just wanted to get away from the stranger already.

Without another word, John grabbed Juliette's hand and pulled her away. Juliette threw one last look at the woman before following her boyfriend. "Who was she?" she immediately asked once they were away from Ororo.

"I think she said her name was Ororo," John explained. "She was trying to sell me a cruise or something."

"She had strange hair," Juliette commented. John could see the suspicion in her eyes and knew she thought the woman was a mutant. John immediately had to reassure her because even if John didn't particularly like the lady, mutants had to stick together and he wasn't going to throw her under the bus.

"Yeah, some people shouldn't be allowed to dye their hair," he said with a shrug. "You could see her roots growing in though so maybe she'll dye it a normal color. Who knows?" _Who cares?_

"Oh," Juliette hummed, clearly more relaxed. It still bothered John how much Juliette hated mutants but it was something he would turning a blind eye to if it meant he got to stay with her. As sappy as it was, she was the one good thing in his dull life and he didn't know what he'd do without her. "So what are we doing for your birthday?"

"I haven't really thought about it," John admitted. "Want to go to the park?"

"Sure," Juliette agreed. They started walking, hands clasped tightly together as they talked about whatever was on their minds. What they wanted to do when they grew up, their parents, school, how they wanted to spend the rest of summer... everything. They passed by the cement block that they had written J + J in when it was still drying a few months ago - corny? Yes, but Juliette wanted to do it.

Juliette sighed when John popped a cigarette in his mouth and lit it with the shark lighter that she had gotten him for Christmas. "I wish you wouldn't do that," she chided.

"Sorry, bad habit," John muttered, tossing the cigarette on the pavement. His fingers twitched, itching to pop another smoke in his mouth but he didn't want to argue with Juliette on his birthday.

When they got to the park, their moods instantly dropped though because of the group of guys fooling around by the basketball court. At the center of the group was John's rival, Jamal. Every since the day in fifth grade when Jamal teased 'Johnny' about being Juliette's boyfriend. When his friends started ditching him at lunch to sit with John and Juliette, he started to get annoyed. When he got tackled on the playground because of Juliette, the annoyance grew to hatred. The meaner he was to Juliette, the less people would like him and he would just hate her more. And if he hated Juliette, John automatically hated him.

"Let's just go," John muttered, tugging at Juliette in the opposite direction.

"Ooh, what's this," Jamal called, noticing the couple. He grinned his nasty, yellow smile and an acrid smell left his mouth. John wasn't sure if he had _ever_ brushed his teeth because a few of his teeth had already turn black and fallen out. "Are the little lovebirds out for a stroll?"

"Not today, Jamal," John snapped. With the woman showing up at his doorstep and the need to smoke clawing at his chest, Jamal was picking the worst time to start trouble. It was his _birthday,_ so why couldn't anyone just let him enjoy it?

" _Not today, Jamal,"_ Jamal mocked in a high-pitched voice. "I swear you're turning into more of a girl every day, John."

"Oh wow, how clever," John said in a bored voice. "You must be really proud of that one. Now how about you just go away and don't bug me today?"

"What'd you just say, loser?" one of Jamal's goons, Jack, sneered and gave John a hard shove. The mutant stumbled slightly but didn't fall. He let go of Juliette's hand and shoved Jack back, barely even making him budge. Jack was about the size of a high school senior and probably one of the scariest fifteen year olds John had ever seen but he wasn't going to take being shoved around in front of his girlfriend.

Immediately, fists her flying and John was regretting his decision of shoving Jack. There were five of Jamal's friends and only two of them. Well, technically one of them because John wasn't expecting Juliette to fight.

A fist met John's temple and he tumbled to the ground, his vision swarming, and blood streaming from his nose and mouth. He was sure he would pass out but was snapped back to reality when he heard Juliette's screams. She was struggling against Jamal, who had a firm hold on her left arm. Juliette reared her arm back and swung with all her strength.

The slap echoed through the park and the four other boys even stopped kicking John to look over. John scrambled to his feet, just as Jamal looked back at the girl, his hand touching his face. He looked shocked at first, and then it morphed into utter hatred. Before John could react, Jamal's fist slammed into Juliette's head and the girl crumpled to the ground.

And that was the last straw.

John didn't enough notice his hand reach for the lighter in his pocket until the flame was already igniting. Fire exploded from the lighter, shooting off in all directions and catching onto the five boys. They flew back, rolling on the ground and trying to understand what was happening as it happened. A stream of fire shot over John's head, forming an arch before he sent it shooting at Jamal, encasing his entire body in flames.

The other boys tried tackling John to stop the flames but with a mere flick of his wrist, they were all burning alive too. "Please, John!" Jamal screamed. "Stop!"

John laughed, walking over to the boy furiously rolling on the ground to hopelessly smother the flames. John held a ball of fire in his hands, toying with the flames as he stood over Jamal. "Well since you asked nicely," John sneered. With the blink of an eye, the flames extinguished from the five boy's bodies, but their screams continued. The flames had burned off their clothes and it left them covered from head to toe in third-degree burns. The entire park smelt sickly sweet with the smell of burnt flesh.

"Shut up," John snapped at Jamal. The bully's mouth closed but he couldn't help the whimpers that escaped his throat. "I'm not going to kill you, but I want you to remember this every time you look at Juliette. I want you to remember that if you are so much as to brush up against her, I will finish what I started. I promise, I will end your life."

Jamal nodded, not being able to hold back the sobs anymore. John rolled his eyes and turned around to go help Juliette. But when he did, she wasn't crumpled on the ground anymore, she was standing in the center of the park, her face paper white, her brown eyes the size of saucers, and a trickle of blood running from where Jamal had hit her.

"Juliette," John said, reaching for her. She took a step back, her wide eyes filling with fear.

"D-don't touch me," she stuttered. "Y-you're one of them."

"I'm sorry," John breathed. "I only did it to protect you."

"You're a mutant," she whispered, the words finally registering in her mind. "All this time... you've been one of them all this time."

"Juliette, please," John started, taking another step towards her. He tried to grab her hand but she ripped it away.

"Do _not_ touch me," she screamed, finally breaking out of her terrified trance. "You're a monster!"

"I'm not a monster, J," John pleaded. "I didn't choose to be this way; I only wanted to protect you."

"You're evil, John," Juliette sneered, shoving him away. John had never seen her eyes fill with such hatred before; she has always been sweet, innocent, Juliette. A porcelain doll who required protection in return for bagged lunches and lollipops. John had never seen her so much as raise her voice, let alone at John. She was always the one person who understood John. The one person nice to him. The one person who _loved_ him.

"Please, Jules," John begged, grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her to look into his eyes. For her to see that he was the same old John, not the monster that she thought he was. "I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you, I promise you that."

Juliette stared into John's eyes for a long moment, scanning them as if she were searching for something. Finally, she broke the silence with four words John never thought he'd hear.

"You're dead to me."

With that, Juliette shoved John off her and ran, away from the screaming boys, the flames coating the park where they met, and away from the boy she thought she loved. All John could do was stare after her, completely shocked and heartbroken. Juliette was always there; ever since they met, they've been joined at the hip and losing her was like losing a limb. This wasn't one of those fights that would be forgiven in the morning - Juliette was being one hundred percent honest when she said that John was dead to her.

It wasn't like he was sobbing his eyes out on the walk home but anyone who looked at him could tell there was something wrong. His face was completely blank and his eyes were dull. At one point, Red and JJ saw him and tried to talk to him but he didn't say anything, he just kept walking. He was... numb.

John silently opened the door to his house and walked in, swiping a piece of paper off the counter by the door, and walking up the steps towards his room. When William heard the door shut, he stormed over, falling into a wall as booze sloshed around in his fat belly. "Where the fuck have you been?!" William screamed, tossing his beer bottle at John. It missed by an inch but John didn't even flinch. He simply flicked open his lighter and a wall of fire erupted between him and William. John didn't even hear William's terrified shouts over the sound of the fire cracking.

Grabbing his phone from the wall, John dialed the seven digit number on the back of the brochure and waited for someone to answer.

"Hello," Ororo's voice rang through the telephone.

"It's John. Come pick me up," John said in a hollow voice.

"John Allerdyce?" she clarified. "Are you alright?"

"No," he answered in the same, lifeless voice. "But I'll come to your school. I'll be ready in an hour."

John didn't say another word as he hung up the phone and started to pack his things. It wasn't like he had a lot, just a bunch of old clothes, his lighter, a few pictures of him and his dad when he was a baby and a few of him and his friends. He slipped them all in a single envelope before his eyes landed on one last picture pinned to his wall. He slowly walked over and plucked it from the wall, staring at it.

It was of him and Juliette, laying on her couch with easy smiles on their faces. John had his arm around her and she was snuggled into his chest, a blanket tossed over them as they snacked on popcorn. Mrs. Caes had joked that this would be the picture they would show everyone when Juliette became an Allerdyce. It was the one and only picture the two had together and there were no other copies of it.

So John ripped it in half.

Because Juliette was right; John was dead. Not only to her, but to the world. The John who held her hand everywhere they went and stood up for her was dead, the John that actually tried at school and wanted a better future for himself was dead, and the John who allowed himself to have friends and fall in love was dead. There was no hopeful John, kind John, forgiving John. _That_ John was dead. He had died a horribly bloody death with each knife in his body piercing a different organ.

First it had been his father stabbing him in the stomach after he killed himself and left John and Karen alone. Then it was William sliding his dagger directly between John's ribs when he first tried drowning him. Karen got him in the back for never helping him when William hit him. Mr. and Mrs. Caes each pierced a lung for their hatred towards mutants. And finally, there was Juliette.

She stabbed him directly through the heart. She held the final knife that plunged harder and deeper into John's body than anyone else could have.

Juliette had brutally murdered John Allerdyce and all that was left was a hollow shell of what he once was with the single promise to never let anyone get close to him again.

 **A/N: I don't mean for my chapters to get this long, I promise! xD It's officially my longest chapter and I don't doubt that there will be even longer ones to come! Anyways, this was actually a really hard chapter to write because I got stuck on the third scene. I originally tried making it into a scene where John goes over to Juliette's house and you get to see a bit more of her personality but I wasn't liking where that one was going so I decided to scrap it and I like this version much better :)**

 **Also, sorry for the long wait; writer's block played a large role in that. _But_ I also have some bad(ish) news. So I'm starting University soon (as in, two days) and because of that, the wait between chapters is going to be much longer. Just because I have to focus more on school and I'm sharing a dorm so it won't be very private but I promise I'll try! **


	17. No Color Darker Than Black

_And meet me there, with bundles of flowers_  
 _We'll wade through the hours of cold winter_  
 _She'll howl at the walls_  
 _Tearing down doors of time_

-Promise, Ben Howard

There were only a few hours of night left but I didn't dare interrupt John as he told me his story. I didn't say a single word as he spoke, just nodded along and listened. Even though he told me not to, it was pretty hard not to pity him. Here I was, bathing in self-pity my entire life for my dad leaving me, my brother bullying me, and my powers taking over my life, but here John was with a dead dad, an abusive step-dad, and having the one good that ever happened to him get ripped away, just like that.

But the thing was, it wasn't just John. It was all his classmates whose parents weren't feeding them lunches, it was Kyle Witherson who had his face pressed to a heated stove, it was Rogue who couldn't touch anyone without hurting them, and it was Hugh who grew up with an unpredictable, angry sister whom he was forced to keep a secret for. It wasn't just me and John who have had terrible things happen to us.

Everyone suffers.

"So, yeah, that's my story," John finished, clearly more somber than he was earlier. "And like I said before, I don't want your pity."

"I'm not giving it," I replied instantly. "We made a deal."

"And you're not telling anyone that," John reminded. "Look, you're one of three people who know about my past and I'm planning on keeping it that way, okay?"

"Who are the other two?" I asked after agreeing. I thought the secrecy thing was just a given.

"Juliette and the Professor. And trust me when I say that he wouldn't know if I had a choice but he has that whole thing with being able to read my mind so it was pretty hard to keep it a secret."

"The Professor read your mind without your permission?" I gasped. When I said it, John rolled his eyes.

"Oh don't act all surprised, he's probably already read yours too. I swear, it's how he gets his kicks," John snorted. "I don't think he does it all at once, he just takes bits and pieces whenever you act up so he can try to understand you better."

I laughed. "John you have a personal goal to ruin every field trip," I pointed out. "No wonder he knows your past at this point with how much you're 'acting up.' But still, I wish he wouldn't do that. It's kind of an invasion of privacy, hey?"

John shrugged. He was clearly less upset about this than I was; but then again, having my secrets out in the open was a new thing to me. "I mean, I'm not defending him or anything but if I had powers like that, I wouldn't be nearly as respectful as he is. But you just have to know when he's being nosy and shut him out."

"How do you do that?" I asked. How in God's name do you shut out someone as strong as the Professor without being a telepath yourself?

"You can feel him when he's looking," John explained. "It feels like... you know when someone is staring at you and you can feel it on the back of your head, even if you're not facing them? It feels like that, but in your head. You can't actually shut him out but he can feel your resistance and usually he'll back off. Or, you know, just _tell_ him to back the hell off. That one usually works too."

I laughed, shaking my head as I did. I couldn't _imagine_ telling the Professor to 'back the hell off.' I wouldn't dream of it.

"Look, as fun as this has been." I paused, rethinking over my words. "Okay, as emotionally traumatizing this has been, I think we both need some sleep so I'm going to go wake up Rogue so she can keep watch."

"Good idea," John said through a yawn. He didn't bother waiting for me to even stand before settling down to sleep. There were probably only four more hours until morning but we would both cherish those four hours of rest. I didn't realize how sleepy I was until I stood, stumbling slightly as I made my way to Rogue's sleeping form. She was cuddled up in a ball, close enough to the fire that she wouldn't freeze but far enough away that she wouldn't burn either - or hear our dirty little secrets.

I nudged her gently. "Rogue," I whispered. "Rogue, wake up."

She let out a low groan as her eyes blinked open, looking around to find her bearings before sitting up. "What's going on?"

"We need you to keep watch," I explained. "John and I have been staying awake but we need you to keep watch now so we can sleep."

"But you already slept for a few hours to-" When she saw my glare, she cut herself off. "Sorry, I'm half-awake. I'll keep watch for the rest of the night."

"Thanks," I said with a small smile before making my way over to John again and settling down near him. We weren't cuddling or anything - we weren't laying even that close to each other - but I could feel the confused stare that burned my back as Rogue watched us. John and I were always constantly fighting and if we weren't, we still weren't exactly friendly towards each other either. It must have just registered in her head that we had stayed up for hours talking and that I was choosing to sleep next to him, despite there being an entire forest of space.

But I didn't really have enough energy in me to care about what she thought. I was still annoyed about the entire thing that happened yesterday and all I wanted to do was sleep. Telling my life story - in incredible detail, may I add - and listening to John's was exhausting to say the least. But still, as I fell asleep, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders because I no longer had to carry the burden of my past anymore.

Or, at least, I didn't have to carry it alone.

[X]

I was woken up a few hours later just before the sun started to rise. Even though I didn't have a mirror, I was a hundred percent sure that the bags under my eyes were darker than Apex's soul - which is saying something. When I was shaken awake, I opened my eyes to Rogue's unnaturally happy face, and even John behind her looking a bit more joyful. "What's going on?" I asked, sitting up. "Why do you guys look like that?"

"When I was keeping watch, I thought of a plan!" Rogue explained. "You said the place we needed to go, Alkali Lake, was in Canada and I was thinking of how we would get there. It's not like we can just hop on the next bus over; we need to fly there."

"Yeah, I mean, that's a nice thought in theory but airports aren't exactly safe for us right now. Besides, I didn't exactly grab my passport on the way out the door," I pointed out.

"We're not taking a plane," Rogue said, not fazed by my pessimism. "We're taking a _helicopter."_

There was a pause as I just stared at her and John with a blank face before finally breaking the silence. "What the hell are you talking about, Rogue?"

"A helicopter," she repeated as if were the most obvious thing in the world. "Look, I've been taking some flying lessons from Storm and Jean and I've gotten a lot better lately. My landing could still use a bit of work but I'm confident that if we find a helicopter-"

"Oh right, that's another thing!" I argued. "Where are we going to find a helicopter, Rogue? We're not exactly surrounded by them at the moment."

"Can you stop being so pessimistic and just listen to me for a second?" Rogue finally snapped. I opened my mouth to argue but John covered it with his hand - which was slightly clammy, may I add.

"Just let the girl speak, Vi," John said with a slight chuckle. At first I thought it was comforting that John was already on board with the plan but once I heard that this 'plan' involved us flying to another country in a helicopter, I remembered just how crazy John could be sometimes. ' _Why am I the only sane one here?_ ' I thought bitterly as I fought against John's hand. As it turns out, he's a lot stronger than he looks.

Rogue shot him a thankful look before continuing with her ridiculous plan. "The hospital has two helicopters on duty at all times and usually one ever needs to be used, and that's only in serious situations."

I tried to talk but John's hand muffled my voice. But even though my words didn't make a lot of sense, Rogue still knew what I was trying to say. I know I'm technically a murderer and a thief but stealing an emergency helicopter from a _hospital_ was even pretty low for me.

"I don't feel good about it either, Violet," Rogue said, shooting me with a pleading look. "But helicopters are the only thing I'm good at flying and I don't know any other way to get one. We'll bring it back undamaged and the Professor or Jean will probably be able to wipe everyone's memory or something so nobody is even going to remember it. It'll be like we didn't even take it."

"To be fair, we already stole from the Salvation Army in the past twenty-four hours. Stealing a helicopter from the hospital is just like icing on the cake," John pointed out. I almost wanted to slap the kid for just saying that. ' _John, the fact that we already stole from the Salvation Army does not justify stealing from the hospital in any way, shape, or form.'_

They could still clearly see the hesitation in my eyes so Rogue went on, "Look, I have this all planned out, you just need to do your part and it will all go smoothly, I swear."

I peeled John's hand off my mouth and shot daggers in his direction. "Well what's my part? Because I'm telling you right now I can't do any more transforming. I'm done."

"You don't have to transform, I promise," Rogue said with an apologetic smile. "I shouldn't have pressured you so much yesterday and I get that it was unfair of me. I was just worried about Bobby and I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm really sorry and I won't ever make you shapeshift again, I promise."

At first I felt a small pang of guilt for being so harsh on her but the guilt quickly evaporated when I saw the shared look before John and Rogue. I know I'm not the best at reading emotions but even _I_ could tell that there was something they weren't telling me. "Wait, what's the catch?"

"What catch?" John asked almost innocently. Key word being almost.

"You're being too apologetic about this," I pointed out. "I get that I won't have to shapeshift but I'm guessing that I'm not going to like whatever my part of this plan is."

"That's an understatement," John muttered, shifting on his feet. The second I heard the words, I took a step away from both of them. What the heck were they planning to do to me?

"Okay before you freak out, just listen," Rogue begged. "We wouldn't make you do this unless we had any other choice but the only way we can get to the hospital roof - I mean, other than by flying but that's out of the picture - is to take the stairs on the top floor. The thing is, you can't get to the top floor unless you're either a patient or a doctor..."

"What, you want me to dress up as a doctor or something? That's obviously not going to work," I snorted. When Rogue and John shared a glance, I realized what they meant and my face paled a few shades. "...You want me to be a patient."

"It's the only way to get to the top floor without causing a scene," John pointed out. "We just need to fake an injury to get us to the top floor and then Rogue and I will handle the rest."

"I think they'll know if I'm faking an injury; they're doctors, not idiots." John and Rogue simply stared at me, waiting for it to finally click in my head at what they were trying to say.

A second of silence passed... two seconds... three...

"Oh hell no!" I screamed, jumping away from them. "I'm not going to purposely injure myself so we can steal a helicopter from the hospital. There are so many things wrong with that!"

"Vi, you're the only one who can do it," John said coolly. "Rogue and I can't heal like you or else we would do it, but the fact is, we need to get to the top floor and you're the only one who can get us there."

"So what if you can't heal?" I snapped. "It still hurts me when I get a scratch on my arm, just like you. You can go in for a few stitches and we're on the top floor, problem solved!"

I was starting to get tired of the looks Rogue and John were constantly sharing. I snapped my fingers twice to break their gaze before saying, "Look, enough with the unspoken conversations here. Just go out and say the plan already so I'm not guessing anymore."

"The problem is that the top floor isn't just to treat scrapes and bruises; it's the trauma wing of the hospital. The only way to make it to that floor is for something really serious to happen to you, not just a cut. You need... you need to almost die," Rogue explained. "That's the reason John and I can't risk it."

"You want to kill me basically."

"No!" Rogue exclaimed the same time that John said, "Yeah, pretty much."

Rogue shot John a nasty glare, basically telling him to shut up, before turning to me with a softened expression. "Violet, I get it. We've been asking a lot from you but we just need you to do this one thing and then that's it, I swear."

"Okay no, you don't get to say that," I spat, backing away from them. Rogue looked at John in desperation but he just shrugged. "You don't get to act like nearly killing myself is no big deal because it's only been a day since the attack on the school and already I've put my life on the line way too many times for you."

"Because you can!" Rogue snapped. "Don't you think that if I could do half the things you could, I'd be doing them? You have a gift that doesn't cause you to kill everyone you touch and you're wasting it."

I blinked, completely at a loss for words. I knew she wasn't saying it to be malicious but she just didn't know; she didn't know about my mother or those people in the inn or about Apex. But John did. John knew how terrified I was of Apex and doing the exact thing that Rogue said I wouldn't. No, I may not suck the life out of everyone I touch, but that doesn't mean I can't hurt them.

I turned to John, my face stone cold and I could see the understanding in his eyes. I wasn't expecting him to immediately melt in apologies - I mean, this was John Allerdyce - but after last night when I told him _everything_ he knew he couldn't just stand there.

"No you wouldn't," John said quietly. Rogue looked at him in confusion. "We all know that if you had Violet's powers, you wouldn't be willing to do this either."

"How do you know that?" She sounded half shocked, half angry.

"Because you have powers already, Rogue," I responded. "And you're not even using them. You may say that you'd put my abilities to better use, but the thing is, you aren't even using your own powers."

Rogue looked between us and I could tell that she was finally starting to understand what it felt to be like on the receiving end of an ambush. She took a step back before taking a deep breath. "I can't help us here though. I can't use my powers to get into the hospital or to steal the helicopter, and I know it's easier said than done, but trust me, I would if I could."

She wasn't getting it, but at this point, I knew that she would never understand. Rogue would never understand what it's like to deal with Apex and I would never understand what it's like to never be able to touch anyone.

I didn't say anything for a minute or so and she finally breathed out, "Please."

Maybe it was the desperation in her voice or maybe it was knowing that I was truly our last option, but for some reason, I asked, "What do I have to do?"

Relief washed over Rogue's face and she let out a deep breath. She took a heartbeat to collect her thoughts before her brown eyes met mine again. "I have an idea."

* * *

"Great idea, Rogue," I breathed as I stared down at the dozens of cars racing below me. I tried to count how many there were but they were all going too fast that it was hard to tell. Rogue's _fantastic_ idea was for me to jump into the traffic and let the person who runs me down call the ambulance. John and Rogue would then rush to my aid, pretending to be my brother and sister, respectively. They would come with me in the ambulance and from there, we would just hope for the best.

I had been leaning over the edge for five minutes now, just staring down at the traffic, trying to muster the courage for me to jump. I squeezed my eyes shut as I took a deep breath and released it. Opening my eyes again, I slowly started to pull myself onto the concrete ledge that literally divided me from life and death. "You can heal, you can heal, you can heal," I repeated under my breath as I slowly stood onto shaky legs.

"You can heal," I said again as my right foot hovered over the edge. All I had to do was lean forward; lean forward and fall into oncoming traffic.

"Hey! Hey you!" I turned to see a middle aged man with a balding head, pulled over on the side of the overpass. "Get down from there!"

"I can't," I whispered. There was no way he could hear me over the sound of the wind but he could see my distraught face and read my lips. The man's face immediately dropped and he held his hands up to show he meant no harm.

"Look ma'am, I don't know what you're going through, but this isn't the way to handle it. Whatever it is, it's not worth dying over," he said, taking a step forward. He thought I was trying to kill myself - I mean, I guess I kind of was but not in the way he was thinking. "Just step off the ledge."

People were starting to notice what was happening and more cars were pulling over to watch the scene unfold. A few stepped out of their cars to try and coax me down, but most of them just stared, horrified. "You don't understand, I have to do this," I tried. "I have no choice."

"You always have a choice," the man said, taking another step forward. I stepped back, trying to put as much distance between me and the man as possible. I couldn't risk him trying to stop me; I knew I had to jump soon.

"You just don't understand," I breathed, turning my back to the traffic and closing my eyes. I spread my arms wide before whispering, "I can heal," one last time before taking a step back, off the ledge.

I don't know whether it was those last three words that took too long to say, or the fact that I closed my eyes and couldn't see him running at me, but all I know is one second I was falling and the next, I felt a hand clasped around my wrist. A scream ripped from my throat as the momentum of the fall popped my shoulder out of place and swung me into the concrete ledge. "Let go!" I yelled, clawing at the man's arm with my free hand to get him to let go of me.

"You have so much to live for!" he yelled, trying to get a better grip on my wrist. He reached down with his other hand to get a better grip. I tried pushing myself off the wall with my feet to break free of his hold, not realizing what a terrible mistake I made until it was too late. Both of his hands were tightly gripping my wrist, meaning nothing was holding him to safety. When I pushed, I didn't break our grip, I only pulled him over the ledge with me.

The man's scream echoed in my brain as he fell, still gripping my arm. My free hand shot out and caught the edge of the ledge. I was a tiny girl with not a lot of upper-body strength; holding only my own body weight with one arm would be challenging enough, let alone another grown man.

Just as I felt my fingers slipping, Apex's strength surged through my body, making it easier to hold the man. But the thing about Apex is that he doesn't make me perfect; he may make me strong but he doesn't make me invincible, he makes me fast but I can't match the speed of light, and he makes me fierce but even he can't keep my anxious hands to stop sweating.

And that's why I couldn't blame Apex as the man slipped from my fingers. Because even though I would have been able to hold the man, my own nerves had caused him to fall.

"No!" I screamed as I watched helplessly as the man plummeted. I would never forget his wide blue eyes that sparked with terror or the sun glinting off his wedding band as he reached for my hand. And then all I could hear was the sound of glass shattering as the man landed on someone's windshield, the screech of tires as the car spun out of control, and metal ripping as it crashed into another car.

"Oh God," I breathed as I stared down at the wreck. Pieces of metal littered the highway and cars were swerving off the road to try and avoid the sudden crash. Within less than two minutes, I had managed to injure, if not kill, multiple innocent people. "Please no."

With adrenaline rushing through my body, I pulled myself up over the ledge and didn't even look back as I started sprinting. John and Rogue, who had watched the entire thing were already racing off the overpass and towards the crash. Even though they were far from me, I could still see the guilt plastered on Rogue's face. There was a good reason for her guilt though; while I may have been the one to drop the man, this was all her idea.

Rogue and John reached the crash site first, with me following behind seconds later. Up close, the crash was even more devastating. A woman was crouched on the ground, clutching her bleeding head with a baby sobbing in the back of her car. Through the blood-smeared windshield, I could see the driver of the car, crumpled over the steering wheel. The car was crushed against another small car, pinning it to a wall. The driver - a teenage girl - was sitting stunned in her car, unable to get out even if she tried.

People were standing on the road, phones in their hands and tears streaming down their faces. Some were just standing there, taking in the scene, while others were trying to help. But most were crowded around a bloody form on the ground. The man who had tried to 'save' me was laying broken on the ground, covered in red from head to toe.

A choked sound escaped Rogue's throat as she collapsed beside the man's body. "Oh God, I'm so sorry," she breathed, too quiet for anyone else to hear. "Someone call an ambulance!"

"I already did," a young woman answered immediately. "Do you know him?"

"He's my dad," all three of us answered at once, followed by a visible cringe. Three teenagers, all clearly the same age, who look nothing alike were claiming they were this man's children. The only similarity we shared was our brown hair but even then it was too different to make us seem related.

"Our foster father," Rogue put in. "We're orphans. He's the only family we have."

' _Thank God for Rogue_ ,' I thought as a relieved breath left my lips.

"Is he alive?" John asked in a low voice. I could tell he was a little shaken but he wore a mask that only showed when he was either angry or indifferent; John would never let something like fear show on his face.

With a siren growing louder in the distance, Rogue reached her hand out, her fingers hovering over his hand, before clasping around his wrist to find a pulse. A second later, she let out a relieved sigh. "It's small but it's there, thank God."

I couldn't even look at the man; Rogue and John were seeing a tragedy, sure, but they didn't see the terror in his eyes as he fell. They didn't hear his screams as he fell or the crunching of his bones as he hit the car. So instead of looking at him, I focused my eyes on the ground, and listened to the sound of the approaching sirens rather than the people sobbing.

"Violet?" I looked up to see John staring at me. Rogue, who was still crouched next to the man, was also looking at me with a concerned look.

"What?" I asked quietly. I could feel a lump in my throat that made it hard to breathe without bursting into tears. I was never the type of person who cried when put in overwhelming situations, but even I had to admit this was all a bit much.

Reading my thoughts, Rogue said, "This isn't your fault."

"Right," I breathed, not convinced but not wanting to argue either.

Just as I said it, three ambulances pulled up; paramedics immediately jumped out and that's when the chaos really started. Before, it was almost like a stunned mess where everyone was just trying to understand what was happening. But now, with the doctors running around and the scene finally registering in our minds, that's when the panic set in.

People were running around, the girl trapped in the car was now screaming and pounding on the window. The woman previously crouching on the ground was now walking around dazed. A paramedic tried to help her but she simply collapsed in his arms.

"Ma'am?" I flinched when a paramedic touched my arm, dragging me back to reality. "Do you know this man?"

"Y-yes," I stuttered. "He's our foster parent. He fell off the overpass into the traffic."

"The police are going to need you to go into the station later for a statement but for now you need to come to the hospital with your father," the man said. "I know this must be a very traumatizing time for you but we need you to stay strong right now for your father; he needs you right now."

"I can do that," I whispered, the lump in my throat swelling.

"Good," the man replied. "We can't allow all three of you to ride in the ambulance but one of you can ride in the front and the other two can catch a ride with the police. It's up to you who goes with who but make up your decision now because we leave in about thirty seconds."

John and Rogue, who had heard the whole thing, approached me as the man left. "I'll ride in the ambulance, you two can have the police car," Rogue offered. She meant it to be nice; sticking us together rather than having one of us alone, but she didn't realize that we wanted the opposite; no one wanted to be that close to the police.

"I'm not riding with the police," John and I said at the same time. We shared a look that said, 'I deserve the ambulance more,' but a second later, I could see the thoughts registering in John's head. While it probably wasn't a good idea for any of use to be in the back of a police car right now considering the situation, I was the one who murdered multiple people, turned into a wolf in the Salvation Army, and already got shot.

I deserved the ambulance.

"I'm riding in the ambulance," I decided. "You two ride with the cops and I'll meet you at the hospital."

Rogue and John both nodded once before walking towards the police officers who were talking to some witnesses. I turned quickly so no one would recognize me as the one who caused the crash before quickly walking to the ambulance that the bloody man was being loaded into. As I climbed into the passenger seat of the ambulance I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to look at the scene anymore.

All I could do was tell myself that the worst was over.

 **A/N: I AM SO SORRY! The time it took me to update is completely unacceptable and I really apologize for that, especially considering I'm supposed to update once every two weeks. However, I do have a reason for the long wait: school. I know that sounds so basic but I never understood how much time university would take out of my life. With a packed schedule along with studying in all my free time, the last thing I want to do at the end of the day is write. But now that it's Christmas break I'm going to try and grind out a few chapters so none of you have to wait that long for an update again, however I make no promises.**

 **Honestly when it comes down to it, I'm just really sorry but I'm extremely thankful for the support. Just know that Apex Predator WILL be completed. I have so much planned for Violet's story and this is just the tip of the iceberg. So I really hope you're willing to stick with me through it :)**


	18. Burn, Baby, Burn

_You'll feel better when you wake up_  
 _Taking off your make up_  
 _Sun always seems to wash our fears away_  
 _And it's always shining somewhere_

-Wake Up, Eden

The ride to the hospital was a blur. All I could remember was flashing red and blue lights as the ambulance sped down the road, swerving around traffic. The driver tried asking me a few questions but he stopped after giving him multiple one-word answers. All I could think about was the man slipping from my fingers and the horrible sounds of his body hitting the car.

I was ripped from my surreal daydream when we reached the hospital; I was ushered out of the ambulance and into the hospital as paramedics yelled questions at me.

"What's you father's name?"

"Does he have any allergies that you know of?"

"How did this happen?"

All I could do was stare in shock and stutter out, "I-I don't know."

"You don't know your own father's name?" one of the medics snapped at me. My face only paled even more and I could see his features soften. "I'm sorry, you must be in shock. We need to get your father into surgery but you can wait with your brother and sister in the waiting room."

"O-okay," I breathed, looking around to see if Rogue and John were here yet. But the ambulance had been driving a lot faster than the police car so they still wouldn't reach the hospital for a few more minutes.

"Ma'am?" I turned to see a nurse staring at me in question. "If you'd follow me I'll lead you to the waiting room."

"Um, right," I muttered, following the lady as she lead me inside. "Which floor is the waiting room?"

"There's one on first floor," the nurse answered easily.

"But won't my father be on the top floor? Isn't that where trauma patients go?" I asked, starting to panic even more. I was feeling guilty enough as it is and I couldn't handle this whole catastrophe being for nothing.

The nurse shot me a strange look, picking up on my panic but not understanding why which floor mattered. "Yes, that is our trauma wing but your father is being prepped for surgery. Our OR's are all on the ground level but once he's out of surgery he will be moved up to the top floor."

"How long will his surgery be?" I asked.

"It's hard to say," she replied with a sorry smile. "Unfortunately your fathers injuries are severe so there's a chance it will take a few hours. In the meantime the police will ask you a few questions about what happened."

"Right." I didn't know what else to say. I needed to figure out how to get to the top floor but I also couldn't ask anymore questions without coming off as suspicious. "Is it alright if I wander around the hospital while I wait for my siblings? I get anxious just sitting in one spot."

"I can understand that," the nurse said with another smile. "Many families feel that way too. That's fine as long as you stay out of the ER just because the last thing we need is for it to be even more crowded. The top two floors, trauma and psych, are also prohibited but you aren't able to get up there without a key anyway."

"But I thought you said that's where the ma- where my father will go after surgery," I stammered. "How will I get up there then?"

"Once we confirm your relation to the patient then we'll make you a keycard that will allow you to access the trauma wing," she explained. "We have enough pranksters trying to be funny by running around the hospital that we have to make those floors unaccessable simply for the safety of the patient. The last thing we need is more pain being caused to our patients."

It made sense, even if it didn't work nicely with my plan. It would have been nice if we could just take an elevator to the top floor but it was also a relief to hear that I didn't cause so many people to get hurt for no reason.

Once the nurse lead me to the waiting room did her words finally register in my head. ' _Once we confirm your relation to the patient.'_

The only problem there was that I wasn't related to the patient. Hell, I didn't even know his name. For now I could play off being a shocked family member who is in too much stress to answer any questions but they longer I waited, the more suspicious I looked. Soon people would start to realize that I wasn't who I said I was and that's when I'd be in trouble.

So long story short, Rogue and John needed to get here _now_ so we could figure out how to get to the roof.

"Violet."

Speak of the devil. I turned at the sound of John's voice to see both him and Rogue walking towards me, looking stressed. I could read from their faces that they had heard the same news as me. "We need a key-"

"To get to the top floor, I know," I cut Rogue off.

"And we need to prove that we're related-"

"To the patient," I interrupted again. "I know all this! Look we need to figure out a plan to get to the roof or else people are going to start asking questions."

"We don't even know his name," John put in. "How the hell are we going to get a key card when we literally don't know anything about the guy?"

"We need a new plan," Rogue breathed. When she said the words, anger flared up in my chest.

"Since the last one just went perfectly," I spat. She seemed caught off guard at first but then her eyes narrowed and she stepped forward.

"That isn't my fault," Rogue snapped. "How could any of us possibly know that would happen? I came up with the plan and hoped for the best but shocker: not everything always works out, Violet!"

"No, 'not working out' is not getting to the roof. 'Not working out' is not being able to reach our friends. 'Not working out' is being caught by the police. That - that back there - that's _absolute bullshit!_ " I screamed. "If that man dies, if any of those people die, that's on you."

"I'm not the one who dropped him, Vi." And that was the final dagger that did it before Rogue turned and stormed away. All I could do was watch her stomp off because I was too hurt to actually say anything else.

"God, girls are catty," John breathed, running his fingers through his hair. He called after Rogue, "How about we just agree that it's both your faults?"

"Great," I sighed. "This day has just been great."

"Look, honestly I could care less whose fault it was or who came up with what," John said. "We don't have the time to worry about that, all we can do is come up with a new plan that will actually work this time."

"Right," I muttered. It was hard to let go of my anger but I didn't exactly have a better option. "We need to get a key card but we can't do that without actually being related to the guy. And this isn't exactly something we can just make up."

"What if we stole a card?" John suggested. "You and Rogue distract the nurses and I grab one of their keys."

"That could work," I said, biting my lip in thought. "But if that backfires then we're screwed. This place is crawling with police because of the crash and if they catch us stealing from the nurses then they'll know right away that we're not here to support our 'father.'"

"Vi, I feel like you're missing a key aspect," John said leaning in close and pulling something from his pocket. A second later, his lighter was ignited and a flame was burning, too small for anyone else to notice. "We're mutants. Worst comes to worst we fight our way to the top floor."

"It won't come to that," I decided, flicking his lighter shut. "No more blood needs to be spilled today."

"It won't," John held his hands up in defense. "Burns don't even spill blood."

"John," I warned.

"Kidding." He shrugged. "Besides, we're in a hospital, they'll be fine." I shot him another look but John was just being John; he was always cracking jokes at the most inappropriate times. "Now let's find Rogue and get this damn helicopter already. This is taking too long."

Just as he said it, a familiar brunette appeared, followed by a middle aged blonde woman with her hair pulled back into a tight bun. She was wearing scrubs so I assumed she was a doctor or nurse; her eyes looked bloodshot as if she had been crying or something so maybe she had just lost a patient. I quickly forgot about her dreary eyes when my eyes dropped to the key card hanging around her neck.

"This is Dr. Keats, she just wanted to ask us a few questions about dad," Rogue explained, shooting us a look that told us we better be prepared to lie our butts off.

"Um, okay," I breathed. "What do you want to know?"

"Does he have any allergies?" she asked, her blue eyes staring through our souls. I had to look down because she was staring so intently at us.

"Cats," John lied easily.

"Right," Dr. Keats said. "See that's funny because his chart says he's allergic to penicillin but there's nothing about him being allergic to cats."

Her tone sounded almost condescending, as if she knew that we were lying and she was just toying with us. But there was no way she could know; if she did then the police would already be all over us. Even so, panic started to set in and I knew we had to get out.

"He's our foster dad, we don't know every detail about him. Maybe he's allergic to cats, maybe our last foster parent was allergic to cats; they all blur together," John said. With the bitterness in his voice, you'd think we were actually siblings jumping from one foster home to the next.

"And your foster mother?" Dr. Keats asked, not even bothering to reply to John.

"We're having a hard day," I interrupted before anyone could answer. "Can we just have a moment to collect our thoughts?"

"No, tell me about your foster mother," Dr. Keats snapped. Alarms were roaring in my head and I lightly tugged on John's sleeve to make him aware. I could see him slowly reach into his pocket and pull out his lighter, picking up on my warning.

"Her name is June," Rogue replied quietly.

"Interesting," Dr. Keats hummed. "Because that man you're claiming to be your father, the man in surgery right now fighting for his life, is Adam Keats - my husband. And unless I've been missing out on something, we don't have any foster children."

The bloodshot eyes. The pushy questions. The wedding band on the man - Adam Keat's - hand. It all added up.

There was a long moment where we all just stared at Dr. Keats, our mouths slightly parted in shock. We had been caught up in our own lies and now we were fucked. I could wrack my brain all day but I still wouldn't be able to think of a worse way to get caught; at least with the police we would have been prepared.

In those few seconds of staring, Rogue and I were running through every possible scenario to get ourselves out of that situation. Do we run? Do we try to lie more? But of course, John liked to live his life following the famous quote: if at first you don't succeed...

...burn it all to hell.

Flames erupted all around us, dancing in the air, and causing Rogue and I to duck. Dr. Keats screamed and dropped to the ground as the flames settled into balls around John's hands. Immediately the cops had their guns pointed towards us but before they could shoot, pillars of fire shot out at them, knocking them back.

"John!" Rogue screamed. "Stop!"

' _He's saving us_ ,' I thought but didn't bother to say out loud. All I did was snatch the key card off Dr. Keats neck and take off running towards the elevator. It didn't take long before I heard the sound of John and Rogue's feet pounding after me, followed by cops chasing us.

I didn't even look when I heard flames erupt behind us; I didn't want to know if John was killing people or not, I just wanted to get out of this damn hospital. Enough people had been hurt for us to get the helicopter, I didn't want to know if more people were getting injured.

My fist slammed the button by the elevator and I cursed when I saw the elevator was already on the fifth floor. "The stairs!" I yelled, jogging to the stairs and pushing the door open. John and Rogue rushed into the staircase right before I slammed the door shut. "John!"

I didn't need to say more for John to understand what he needed to do. A ball of flame shot out and coated the metal doorknob as we turned and fled up the stairs. It wasn't hot enough to melt the metal lock into place but it was enough to make the officer yell out in pain when he tried to open the door. It only bought us a few seconds but every second counted.

"Hurry!" Rogue yelled, taking two steps at a time. "They're right behind us!"

Just as the words left her mouth, a wall of flames erupted behind us, blocking the officers paths and gaining us even more time. By the time we reached the third floor, John and Rogue were starting to get tired and slow down. I could see John, holding his side and breathing heavily; controlling fire never required him to be too active and now it was paying the price.

"We don't have time for this," I snapped, grabbing John's wrist and pulling. "Run!"

"Easy for you to say, you're an animal," John hissed, breathing heavily. He picked up his speed though.

 _Fourth floor... Fifth floor..._

Sixth floor.

My entire body slammed into the door before realizing that it was locked. Swiping the key card through the sensor next to the door, I let out a sigh of relief as it flashed green and the door unlocked. John didn't even wait a second before shoving me and Rogue inside and slamming the door behind us.

"The roof," Rogue painted. "How do we get to the roof?"

"There's got to be another stairwell somewhere," I decided, scanning the hall. It didn't look much different that any other hospital wing; long blue halls with that nasty bleach-y scent that hung in the air. The only difference was that behind every closed door was a horrifying situation that I was glad I couldn't see.

"This way," John called as he took off running. The officers had caught up and were now banging on the door, unable to get through.

I spotted where John was leading us; a brown steel door that had EXIT in red above it at the end of the hall. When we were above half way to the hall, the doors behind us swung open and the group of officers poured into the hall. When we were about four steps from the stairwell to the roof, the officers pulled out their guns. And just as we pushed open the door, they started firing.

I let out a shriek as I heard the gunshots, instinctively ducking even though I knew it would do nothing. The door swung open and we jumped inside, slamming it shut and hiding behind the steel. "They're firing at us!" I screamed, mostly for me to wrap my mind around the fact.

"John lit them on fire!" Rogue yelled back, seeming just as shocked. "Obviously they're shooting at us!"

"Let's just get the damn helicopter," John seethed, clearly not in the mood to be accused. He stumbled towards the stairs, grabbing the railing to pull himself up. ' _He must really be tired from all the stairs,'_ I thought.

Rogue and I gunned it up the stairs, pushing past John to make it to the roof. Thankfully there were only about five steps and we had reached the roof.

And when I saw the bright red helicopter, I almost screamed out of joy. We had been working towards this for so long that I was half expecting it to be gone, as if a cruel joke played out by the universe.

"Hey, you can't be up here!" I glanced over to see a man wearing thick headphones and glasses. Before I could even react, Rogue's bare hand was touching his face.

I had never seen Rogue use her power, only feel it. But now that I had seen it, I honestly wish I could take it back. Watching the black veins appear in the pilot's face and his entire body tense up was a little unsettling to say the least. The whole thing couldn't have taken more than a few seconds but it felt like minutes of watching the life drain from the man's body.

And then finally, Rogue released him, letting him drop to the ground, unconscious. "Let's go," she breathed, quickly nodding at me. I jumped out of the way to let her pass before following her towards the helicopter. John was already in the back, waiting for us.

Rogue climbed into the pilots seat and I took the seat next to her. "Does anyone know how to fly this thing?"

"I've been taking lessons," Rogue answered easily. When she noticed the fearful look on my face, she also added, "And that guy knew how to fly it and since I just sucked the skills from him..." She trailed off, letting me fill in the blanks.

"We're good to go," I summed up, watching as Rogue flicked and twisted a variety of switches. The helicopter whirred to life and I released the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding when we started to lift off the ground.

"Don't jinx it," John called up to me. It was hard to hear his voice over the sound of the helicopter until Rogue tossed us headphones that made it easier to hear each other. It helped just enough for me to hear John's ragged breathing and his soft groans of pain.

I twisted in my seat so I could ask him what's wrong but just as my mouth opened, I saw the blood. John's hands were clasped over his shaking leg with blood pouring out between his fingers. I gasped, my hand covering my mouth. "Oh God, what happened?"

"Wait, what's going on?" Rogue asked, hearing the fear in my voice. "What happened?"

"I got shot, that's what happened," John replied in a shaky voice. "The bullet just grazed my leg, I'll be fine."

"You got shot?" Rogue shrieked, briefly turning back to see the blood before realizing she had a helicopter to fly and turned back to look at the sky. "When?"

"I mean, I'm not a scientist but probably when people were shooting at us," John seethed. He's not exactly what I'd call a patient guy to begin with but getting shot really brought his mean streak out. "And like I said, it's just a graze, nothing to worry about."

"The fact that you're bleeding at all means it's something to worry about," Rogue fired back. "Is there a First-Aid kit or something in here?"

"There must be," I replied, scanning the helicopter. It only took me a few seconds before I spotted the bright red bag with the white cross on it. Grabbing the kit, I climbed from the front seat to the back so I could work on John's leg. I unzipped the kit and dumped the contents on my lap. For a kit, it was pretty extensive with gauze, disinfectant, bandages, and other materials I didn't recognize. I didn't need to know much though to know that I needed to disinfect the wound and stop the bleeding. Or at least until we could get actual help.

"Do you know what you're doing?" John asked, jerking his leg away as I reached for it.

"No," I answered honestly. "But neither do you and I'm your best option right now."

There was a pause before John finally hissed out, "Fine."

I reached for his leg, my hand hovering over his wound. Lightly grabbing his jeans around the wound, I peeled the sticky fabric from his skin. John inhaled sharply as the denim grazed his wound but I tried to drown out the sound of his pain so I could focus. I tore the hole in his pants so it was bigger and I had more room to work. I started by wiping all the blood away around the wound with cotton pads before spraying the whole area with disinfectant.

Just as I was getting to bandaging the wound, Rogue interrupted me with more bad news. "I think the police finally caught up with us."

Flying directly beside us was a navy blue and yellow helicopter with POLICE written in big, white block letters on the side. I could see the pilot's face through the window and even with his helmet and glasses, I could see that he didn't _exactly_ look impressed with us. I mean, we stole an emergency vehicle so it was pretty understandable on his part.

"Open the door," John said in a quiet, shaky breath. I turned back to face him, opening my mouth to object. Before I could get a word out, he yelled, "Open the _fucking_ door and fix my leg already!"

I didn't waste another moment before I slid open the helicopter doors. I glanced back to John to see what he would do but he merely pointed at his leg, signalling for me to bandage it up already. There was a scary amount of pain and anger in his eyes that I didn't want to argue with him - I knew he was going to do something dangerous and I didn't want to be on the receiving end.

The last thing I saw before I turned to bandage his leg was the police helicopter opening to reveal a SWAT team on the inside - all holding guns pointed at us.

I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut, click my heels three times, and to be back at the mansion with everyone safe and sound. But all I could do was bite my lip and try to ignore the massive guns being pointed in our direction and wrap John's leg in gauze. If I was going to get shot, I didn't want to see it, I wanted it to be quick and painless. I would heal from the gunshot, but I wasn't sure I could make it back after they took out Rogue and our helicopter crashed.

But instead of feeling a bullet piercing my skull, all I could feel was intense heat surrounding me, making the gauze slip from my hands, and my body drop to the floor, covering my head with my hands. "John!" I screamed. Over the cracking of the flames, I could hear Rogue screaming the same thing.

The helicopter jolted, swinging to the side as Rogue lost control before quickly regaining it and balancing us. The heat surrounding me died and I was finally was able to lower my hands and look towards the police. And all I could do was stare in awe at the scene in front of me.

I always knew John was talented - he could play with fire as if it were a toy - but I never knew the extent of his powers. I had only ever seen bursts of flame, maybe walls of fire if I were lucky, but never... never anything like this.

The police helicopter was completely engulfed in flames, with officers leaping from the chopper to escape the flames. I could already see dead officers on the inside of the helicopter, who were unable to escape the fire in time. But the flaming helicopter wasn't what took my breath away, it was what from the fire had taken form as. Wrapped around the helicopter was a massive dragon, its semi-solid body curled around the metal and its claws digging into the sides.

All I could do was stare as the dragon lifted its foot and smashing it into the front of the helicopter, immediately killing the pilot and sending the aircraft plummeting towards the earth. As it fell, the dragon, which only lasted about thirty seconds, dissolved into the air as if it were never there. It's only traces of ever existing were the dead bodies still falling to the ground along with the scorched, crushed piece of metal.

"John!" Rogue screeched in horror. "Why would you do that?"

" _How_ did you do that?" I breathed, still in awe. The fact that John had just murdered multiple police officers didn't register in my mind as being a crime; all I could think of was the piece of art that John just created.

John's fire wasn't destructive, it was _beautiful_.

I looked up at John to see sweat dripping down his face and I instantly knew why I had never seen his 'trick' before; it was the exact reason why I couldn't transform whenever I pleased. It sucked the energy from him, leaving him nothing more than an exhausted shell of the person he normally was. He wouldn't be able to create massive semi-solid creatures daily, but when he did, they would be exquisite.

John didn't answer either of our questions, he just let his eyes lull shut as he breathed out, "Fix my leg." before passing out. I stared at the unconscious boy for a moment longer before I tore my eyes away and finished wrapping his wound, all while trying to calm my racing heart.

 **A/N: Guys I hate myself. I genuinely do. I have been writing for hours, determined to get this chapter out for you because you've been waiting for so long. I had about 6k written out and cranked out another 4k tonight. By the end, the chapter was at 10k and I was proud of it. I had some good lines, it ended off on a really powerful note, and everything was as it should be.**

 **And then I single-handedly ruined everything.**

 **"Wow 10k is long, maybe I should split it into 2"**

 **I cut the rest of the chapter, saved this document and opened a new one to paste it. I must have done something wrong because I accidentally deleted the entire thing off my clip board.**

 **If you're having a hard time grasping how devastating this is, that's about 6000 words. An entire chapter has been deleted from our existence because I'm an idiot. This AN was originally going to be an apology for the wait and promising that I'd try to get the next chapter out sooner but hell, if I have to type out another 6k, I figured I'd just post this now and hope I get hit with a train full of motivation.**

 **Ugh. I hate my life. I can't even comment on my thoughts of chapter 18 because I'm so angry at myself.**


	19. Where We Stand

_All this time and all these tries,  
leave questions open ended.  
And I would rather die  
than try to live with this resentment._

\- Tell Me It's Okay, gnash

It was hours later, after John had been bandaged up and we both drifted off to sleep. I had tried my hardest to stay awake for Rogue, but she gave me the okay to fall asleep. We had been through a lot today and I was running on significantly less sleep than her - she understood.

When sleep first took over, I couldn't get the image of John's fire out of my head; the way it danced and crackled like it's own living being. But as time passed, my thoughts moved on from fire to home. Not as in the Institute, but as in _home_ home. With Hugh and my mother and all his idiot friends.

I was dreaming about what my life could have been if Hugh hadn't hated me so much. If Gunner looked at me with love instead of disgust. If Celia hadn't planted the pages of my diary all over school. If Rose hadn't stolen my clothes when I was changing for gym class. If the roses Clyde had given me for Valentine's Day weren't laced with itching powder.

I couldn't help but wonder what my life would be like if they liked me.

' _But what if I went back?'_ I thought to myself as I imagined myself laughing along with Randy and Rose as we sipped on a beer. ' _I can feel it in my gut that if I went back, Hugh would accept me back with open arms. So why don't I? Alkali Lake is close to home.'_

And then my thoughts travelled back to John's fire, and Bobby sobbing because he thought Rogue and the rest of us were dead, and I knew I couldn't leave. Even though I was confident I was no longer in hiding, my friends here needed me. I couldn't just leave them.

For the rest of the flight, I dreamt about my mutants friends and prayed that we would make it out of this okay.

"Violet." A careful hand was resting on my shoulder, gently shaking me awake. My eyes fluttered open to be met with Rogue's brown ones, staring right at me. "We're almost there."

I blinked a few times, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes before reaching my arms into a deep stretch above my head. Sleeping in the passenger seat of a helicopter was about as comfortable as it sounds.

I peered out the window to see thick snow covered the ground and trees. Further up, I could see the sparkling blue waters of Alkali Lake, with looming mountains behind it. A massive dam held in the water and if I didn't know better, I would say we were in the wrong spot. There was no way Stryker and the X-Men were here.

But just as I thought it, I looked down to see the X-Jet landed in a clearing, a few kilometres away from the dam. Even from where we flew, I could see the trail of footprints leading from the jet to the dam. "We're in the right place," I confirmed.

"They landed pretty far away," Rogue commented quietly. She was speaking softly as to not wake up John, who was still sleeping in the back. He needed his rest; we could wake him we land. "I think we can get closer without Stryker spotting us, especially if he's more focused on fighting off the X-Men right now."

"It's not like we really have a choice," I pointed out, gesturing to the flashing fuel sign on the dashboard. "We're running on empty."

Rogue grimaced. "I know, that came on a while back. The only way we get out of here is by taking the X-Jet and I can't fly that alone."

"You flew this alone."

"After draining a pilot's knowledge from them," she explained. "The jet is a completely different story. Storm has been teaching me but I've only had a few lessons and can't keep it steady when I fly."

"Let's let Storm fly us back home then, hm?"

Rogue snorted. "Maybe a good idea."

"So should I wake John?" I asked, changing the subject.

Just as the words left my mouth, the helicopter dropped for a heartbeat, the engine sputtering as it did. John shot upright in the back, looking around confused. "Wha-"

The helicopter jolted again and I clung to the seat, looking at Rogue with eyes that screamed, 'Do something!'

"We're completely out of fuel," she said through gritted teeth. "I'm going to try and land this thing, if it doesn't crash before I can."

"Good morning to you too," John muttered in the back, only now realizing what was happening. His hand was resting on his leg and I knew if this helicopter went down, his leg would be in a whole world of pain. We fell for a few more seconds before Rogue managed to catch us again, but losing control and making us spin.

"Rogue!" I screamed, squeezing my eyes shut. "Do something!"

"I'm trying!" she hissed, gripping tightly onto the controls to try and steady the aircraft. The tail of the helicopter slammed into a thick tree and we screamed as we started spiralling towards the ground. I think Rogue might have yelled at us to brace ourselves but I couldn't hear her over the sound of my own heartbeat.

I slammed forward in my seat as the helicopter crashed into the ground, skidding forward in the snow before crashing into a massive snow bank. My knuckles were white from gripping the seat so tightly and my chest ached from where the seatbelt was digging into me.

But none of that mattered because we were alive.

All of us had a few scrapes bruises but considering we had just fallen out of the sky, it was nothing compared to what could have been. Rogue had managed to get us fairly close to the ground before the engine gave out completely and crashing into a snowbank had softened the blow.

"Is everyone okay?" Rogue asked and I shakily nodded, unable to get words out. "John?"

"I'm never flying with you again," he breathed, his face almost as white as the snow. If he was making snide comments already, then we knew that he was fine. I could tell by the way he was gripping his leg that the fall had hurt but he didn't seem too injured so I didn't bother bringing it up.

"Sorry," Rogue grimaced, though everyone could agree that it wasn't really her fault. "Not to be inconsiderate but we really should start moving; Stryker could have seen that crash from his base and his men could already be on their way. We need to start moving."

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine," John scoffed but began brushing debris off his lap anyway so he could crawl out of the crushed helicopter. Looking over the damage, I was shocked that none of us had died. One of the helicopter walls was completely caved in and if John had been only a few feet over, he probably would have been dead.

"But am I wrong?" Rogue asked. John couldn't argue with that.

Once we were out of the crumpled piece of metal, I really wished that I had been smarter and wore something a little thicker than my thrift store clothes. It had only been a few months and I had already forgotten the biting chill of Canadian winters.

"C'mon, it's this way," Rogue said, pointing to the base. "I don't know how to get in though."

The pleading look she shot me told me exactly what I needed to do. I nodded before letting my head fall back and sunshine bathe over my face. Within seconds, I was standing on four paws, no longer wishing for a thicker jacket. I took in a deep breath, allowing the frosty air to fill my lungs.

The crunch of snow under my paws. The fresh smell of pine. The sun hitting my golden eyes and making them light up like fire. This was my home. This was the place I - Apex - was meant to be.

"Violet?" I was snapped out of my temporary bliss when Rogue spoke my name. Right. We had a job to do.

I took in another breath, this time sorting through the musky smell of the forest, the freshness of the snow, and the oils and metal of the wreck behind us. Finally, I pinpointed what we were looking for; mutants.

I growled out slightly, hoping that Rogue and John would understand that they needed to follow me. I took off, running for a few seconds before slowing to allow John to catch up. Once they were close enough, I ran a little farther before stopping and waiting again.

This continued for a while until we came upon a trail of footprints leading towards the lake. After a few more minutes of walking, Rogue pointed out the dull gray structure peeking through the trees. The dam; even the sight of it gave me chills, knowing that danger was waiting for us on the inside.

The footprints lead us to massive, open spill gates. The gates lead into a large room, littered with bodies and weapons. Some of the military men were still alive but judging from their injuries - I was guessing from either Storm or Logan - they weren't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Note to self: don't piss off the X-Men," John commented as we stepped over a bloodied man. Rogue shivered and looked away, instead heading toward a hallway that looked promising - or I guess _smelled_ promising. Being a wolf was really paying up for once.

Case and point: when I scented the group of men coming towards us before _they_ even knew. I tensed, letting out a low growl while hoping that John and Rogue would pick up on what I was trying to say. It seemed like they did as one of Rogue's glove was laying limp in her other hand, and I could feel the heat from a ball of fire that John lit.

Seconds later, a riot erupted as John's ball of flame erupted into a massive blast, slamming into the five men at once. As they writhed on the floor, we took off, not looking back. For a brief second, it almost scared me how little I cared about how many people we were hurting. But just as fast as the feeling came, it vanished; this was a war. If we didn't fight back, we'd be the ones screaming in pain.

No words were spoken as we ran, taking whichever turns I chose and occasionally taking down groups of Stryker's men. I could scent Storm getting closer and started to run faster, forgetting about John's injury.

"Wait!" John called from behind me. I turned, only to see him leaning against a wall, clutching his leg, as deep breaths shook his body. "I need a break; I can't keep running."

"John, we're not leaving you," Rogue snapped. "We need you."

"Look, my leg's killing me, I don't know if I can keep running like this," he argued. I knew that if John was admitting to being in pain, it must be agonizing. He wouldn't hurt his pride unless he had to.

"We'll slow down then," Rogue offered. "But we can't just leave-"

The mutant was cut off as the entire hallway shook, nearly causing us to all fall over. It was as if we were ragdolls and a child just bumped into our dollhouse; we weren't hurt but definitely felt the blow.

"What was that?" John asked, still holding onto the wall for stability. "It felt like a bomb."

"This dam is filled with over a dozen mutants... that was no bomb," Rogue commented as we all slowly raised our heads to look at the cement ceiling. What had started as a small crack spread before our eyes, all the way across the roof. A single drop of water fell from the crack and onto the floor. "I just don't know if the dam was able to handle it."

"I think I can keep walking now," John added, lacking any emotion in his voice. I could scent the fear spike from the two other teens; if they weren't scared before, the thought of an entire dam crushing us sure did the trick.

We started off again, this time slightly slower so John wasn't struggling as much but keeping a quick pace. I could sense us getting closer to Storm and the others, and I had to fight every urge in my body to break into a run. Just as we turned another corner, we ran into another obstacle. Or, at least, it ran head first into us.

Within seconds, we were crumpled on the ground, clutching our heads as we screamed out in pain. The agony was hard to describe as it was like nothing I had ever felt before; it was like I could feel every drop of blood in my body bursting into flames, originating from my brain. Every organ in my body simultaneously melted and froze, my skin was bitten by millions of fire ants, every hair on my body was ripped from its cuticle. The only thing I could hear was a high pitched screech that I was sure was making my ears bleed.

The fur on my body fell away to feather and my claws changed to talons. Before I had even completely shifted into an eagle, my beak was splitting into the massive canines of a lion.

Lion. Shark. Crocodile. Cheetah.

Animals I had never even transformed into yet were taking over my body, only lasting a second before shifting to the next creature. If I had thought the past few days had been overwhelming for my powers, this was completely unbearable. With each new animal, I could feel Apex's venom grow thicker in my blood, starting from my heart and racing through my veins.

And then, just like that, it was over. At least, the pain was; I could still feel the thick black presence of Apex in my blood.

I was lying on the ground, with only the memory of the pain washing over my body. Nausea wracked my body and I knew that within seconds, I would be throwing up blood like I had done in the forest. Only this time, the vomiting didn't come. I flipped onto my hands and knees, dry heaving, but nothing came.

Apex's venom pumping through my veins was only getting more powerful and I could feel my grip on reality start to slip. Apex was taking over and with John and Rogue right beside me, it couldn't end well. My hair faded to black and my eyes starting to glow gold.

 _'Kill them,_ ' a voice whispered in my head. I slowly raised my head, baring my teeth as a low growl tore through my throat. These people... they needed to die.

The nausea was getting stronger as I tried to crawl towards my prey, only for me to stop after one step. Vomit spewed from my mouth and my eyes instantly faded back to green.

I didn't even bother moving my hands as a mixture of blood and bile splashed on them, coating them in crimson. Apex's grip on me faded as I threw up, seeming to expel from my body along with the contents of my stomach.

"Violet?" Rogue spoke quietly as I sat back, wiping the traces of blood from my lips. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." My shaky voice wasn't very convincing. "What about you guys? What the hell was that?"

"I think it was Cerebro," Rogue answered. "It kind of felt like when the Professor reads my thoughts, only amplified by a thousand."

"They have a telepath trying to kill us now too?" John asked angrily. "Who pissed this Stryker guy off because he really is dead set on trying to kill us!"

"We need to find the others _now._ They'll know what to do," Rogue decided. I could tell she wasn't even sure about what she was saying but it was the only option we had. Yeah, we may be mutants who could fight and steal helicopters, but in the end, we were still kids.

"I don't think I can turn back into a wolf," I said. Rogue opened her mouth to argue but I raised my hand before she could say anything. "My powers are shot; if I try to change again, I don't think I'll make it."

Rogue's eyes drifted to the pile of blood on the floor. "Fair enough."

"Before... whatever just happened... happened, I could scent Storm was close. I think we need to keep going down this hall," I said, pointing in the direction we were heading.

"And then what if she's not there?" John asked. My blank face answered his question. "Let's just go before this dam crushes us all."

We scrambled to our feet, both Rogue and I helping John limp forward. I didn't need to have heightened senses to know everyone was terrified and preparing for the worst. If we didn't find the others. If we were hit by another wave of pain. If the dam caved in.

We reached the end of the hall and my heart instantly fell in my chest. Storm wasn't here. She must have kept moving, and now we had two possible hallways to follow with no guess as to which one to go down.

"So what now?" John asked. Rogue immediately raised her hand to silence them.

"Shh," she hushed. Her brown eyes were focused and I could tell she was trying to listen to something. Suddenly, her head snapped up and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she actually smiled. "This way!"

She took off down the hall, basically dragging John behind her like a ragdoll. Over the sound of three pairs of footsteps pounding against the concrete floor, I couldn't hear whatever Rogue had. Until I turned the corner and came face to face with the white-haired teacher we had been searching for.

Behind Storm stood the blue guy who I had scene at the crash site, and a group of mutants I recognized from school. All of them were younger than me, the oldest probably being thirteen. Everyone looked terrified.

Storm's dark eyes widened as she glanced between the three of us. "Rogue? John, Violet, what are you doing here?"

"It's a long story," Rogue rushed. "Look, we need to get out of here. That blast, whatever it was, I think it's about to take out the whole dam."

"We need to get the Professor," Storm urged.

"Not to undermine you or anything, but I think a dozen children getting crushed by thousands of tonnes of water is a little more important," John pressed. I could tell it was a stressful situation because Storm didn't even bother reprimanding him for his attitude.

"Get the kids to the X-Jet. Kurt and I will find the others," Storm decided. She turned to the kids, gently leading a few towards us. "Kids, follow them. They're going to take you to safety."

' _If we know where safety is,'_ I thought bitterly. It was hard enough navigating the halls as a wolf to find Storm, let alone as a human with no idea of how to get out. But I couldn't let them know that, so instead I put on my bravest face, turned, and started running again.

John limped behind me for a few paces before some girl, who clearly had the gift of strength, lifted him and started carrying him like he weighed nothing. John was clearly exhausted and in an unbearable amount of pain, so he didn't even argue. The only thing he said was, "No one better speak of this again."

To be fair, I think there were more interesting things that had happened than John getting carried bridal style by a nine year old.

Nobody said a word as we raced down the halls, taking random turns as if we actually knew where we were going. Thankfully, for the kids sake, we hadn't run into any more of Stryker's men, but that could also be that they were smart enough to get out while they could... or the X-Men had already taken care of them.

We reached the end of a hall and as I was about to turn right, Rogue grabbed my arm, pointing in the opposite direction. "Look!"

At the end of the hall was a room; most people wouldn't get excited over a simple room but it was the most we had seen since we found Storm and was our best bet of getting out.

"C'mon!" Rogue urged, taking off in the direction of the room. When we burst into the room, we immediately stopped though.

It was a laboratory covered in x-rays and lab results, with deep scratches littering the walls, and in the centre of the room, a large tank. The tank was filled with liquid and loose tubes, but the most noticeable thing being the dead woman lying in the bottom. I only looked for a second but I could have sworn I saw silver tears spilling from her eyes as she lay in her coffin.

"Whoa," John breathed, pushing himself from the girl's arms and standing up to examine the tank. His fingers traced the three scratches on the side of the tank before glancing to Rogue. "Your boyfriend was here."

"Let's just get out of here," Rogue replied in a hollow voice, not looking at the tank. She walked towards a white door that I hadn't even seen, despite the glowing red EXIT sign hanging above it. I never thought I'd be so happy to see a simple sign.

The door was already opened, with trails of footprints leading outside. I stepped outside, immediately crossing my arms against the biting chill. "Do you remember the way to the jet?" I asked Rogue quietly. Not wanting to alarm the kids, she nodded silently before jerking her head in the direction of the woods.

"Only a little further!" she called as we started walking towards the woods. Being outside made us all feel safer, and the urgency to run had died down.

That is, until a chunk of the dam broke off and cracks ripped through the structure like it was made of ice. That's when we took off running again and didn't stop.

A young boy fell behind and I grabbed his arm, dragging him through the snow as I raced towards the jet. It was far, but we had no other choice but to reach it. Even John was doing a good job of keeping up, and I could tell that he was about to pass out from the pain. I had to give it to him, he was taking a bullet like a champ.

"I see it!" One of the kids screamed and pointed. Through the trees, I could barely see the shining black wings of the jet, something I never thought I'd be so thankful to see. Even though we were all exhausted, we ran even faster in those final minutes.

Right before we reached the jet and Rogue lowered the ramp, John tripped. I turned, letting the rest of the kids run onto the jet as I turned back for my friend. He wasn't being dramatic, he wasn't trying to be a martyr; he literally just couldn't go any further.

His face was almost as white as the snow, and despite the freezing temperature, his skin was covered in a layer of sweat. When I touched him, I knew he was shaking from pure agony and not the cold. I didn't bother talking to him and try to convince him to stand because I knew he wouldn't be able to. Instead, I gently picked him up out of the snow and did my best to carry him onto the jet.

John crumpled into the nearest seat, his head falling back and a shaky laugh leaving his mouth. Nothing was funny, he was just happy, and surprised, to be alive. Using my sleeve, I wiped the sweat from his forehead before brushing his hair back of his face with delicate fingers.

I could tell his energy was already starting to crawl back, so I left him to go join Rogue in the cockpit, where she was frantically flipping switches and pressing buttons. "Do you know how to fly this thing?" I asked, regretting it instantly when she nearly bit my head off.

"I'm trying, Violet!" she snapped. Seconds later, we could feel the engine roar to life and she let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God."

I took a seat in the co-pilot's chair as Rogue tightly gripped the wheel. She inhaled deeply before flicking another few switches and pulling the steering wheel towards her as the jet lifted off the ground. Almost immediately I could tell why she was so scared; flying a helicopter after absorbing the knowledge of a pilot was one thing. A teenager flying a jet for the first time was completely different.

I let out a short scream as we jolted to the side, tree branches scraping across the outside of the jet. Trying to steady the jet, we jolted the other way and up, breaking through the treeline on shaky wings. The jet jolted and tilted like a ride at the carnival - the only difference being that we could actually die from this.

I slammed forward in my seat, feeling where my bruises would form tomorrow from the seatbelt digging into my collarbone. The jet suddenly flew forward as Rogue tried to fly it closer to the dam. I couldn't help as another scream tore through my throat as we fell, slamming into the snowy ground and skidding to a stop.

We couldn't have been in the air for more than a few minutes but I could already feel my fear of flying start to set in. ' _Thanks Rogue.'_

I glanced over to the girl to see her curled over the steering wheel, her shaking hands tightened around the controls as her brown eyes stared ahead at the snow outside the window. Twisting around in my seat, I made sure that everyone was safe before turning back around and looking out the window. My heart jolted as I saw six people racing towards us, fear etched on their faces.

"Someone lower the ramp," I said in a hollow voice. When no one moved, I screamed, "Lower the fucking ramp!"

I knew I was dealing with kids when the only person who got up to do what I asked was the guy with a bullet hole in his leg. I stood, covering my mouth with my hands as I watched the X-Men sprint through the snow.

Bobby, Storm, Jean, Logan, Nightcrawler, and Scott, with the Professor in his arms.

"Oh my God," I breathed, unable to look away. Behind them, the dam was crumbling away, with water spewing from it. It was going to blow and if the X-Men didn't get here fast enough, we were all going to die.

All I could do was watch as Nightcrawler grabbed onto Scott and Storm before vanishing into a cloud of smoke. Not even a second passed before a _woompf_ sound filled the jet and they were standing inside the jet. Scott immediately set the Professor down in the seat that John was sitting only a moment before.

He didn't object though; even John wasn't dumb enough to argue with Scott over whether he or a cripple should get priority seating. The adrenaline must have kicked in again, because he was able to stand fine by leaning against the wall. Storm rushed to the front of the jet, nudging me out of the way so she could coax Rogue out of the seat. Trying to stay out of the way, I went to stand by John.

Logan, Bobby, and Jean burst into the jet seconds later, all breathing heavy and shouting out orders. It was almost like watching a romantic movie with some sick love triangle in it; Logan spotted Rogue first, his eyes glazing over and his hand tightening around Bobby's arm to get his attention.

When Bobby's eyes met Rogue's, the same look of disbelief and love washed over his face. It was like the entire world disappeared and they were the only ones in the room. A small smile etched its way onto my face as the two men took a few steps towards the girl, before Bobby finally wrapped his arms around her in a tight squeeze. I was surprised he didn't break her ribs with how tight he was holding her.

When Bobby let go, Logan pulled Rogue into a hug, pressing her head against his chest as he brushed back her hair. I couldn't hear it over the rest of the commotion in the jet, but I could see him mouth, "Thank God."

Bobby turned, his eyes scanning the rest of the jet and taking in the scene. I waited for his eyes to land on me and John, already picturing his reaction. I knew it wasn't going to be as heartwarming as when he first saw Rogue, but I knew he'd be happy to see us. His face would light up and he'd rush over to pull us into a hug, only to pull away when he realized John was hurt. Bobby would ask John if he was okay before heading back over to Rogue to ask how she was even alive.

Only that's not what happened.

Bobby's eyes fell on us, registering that we were alive, before passing on, not even stopping to smile at us. He turned back to Rogue, his fingers lacing with hers as he pulled her in for another hug.

Almost instantaneously, it was like every drop of blood in my body froze to ice, starting from my fingers and working its way to my heart, which turned to stone.

Bobby had not seen us since the mansion attack, and for all he knew, we could have been dead. We were his friends. His family. And he ignored us like we meant nothing to him. John was clearly in rough shape and I was covered in blood; we looked like we had gone to hell and back and nobody even looked thankful to see us.

I wasn't jealous of Rogue, I wasn't even hurt that we had been pushed aside. No, it was like every feeling of love and acceptance that I had felt since coming to Xavier's School had vanished and was replaced with a hollow emotion that I couldn't begin to describe. It wasn't that I was angry really, it was that I had finally realized where I stood on the hierarchy of Xavier's School.

Where we stood.

The Professor was at the top of the food chain; he was untouchable. Following him was Storm, Jean, Scott, and the other teachers. Logan stood just under the Professor, for reasons I would never be able to understand. Rogue and Bobby were next, both having close relationships with the higher ups.

And then there was me and John. Nobody cared about us. We were not their friends. We were just students who would come and go, making no real difference. Bobby, Rogue, Logan... they didn't give a shit about us.

I had thought that I had finally met people who I could trust; once again, I was proven wrong.

I looked over at John to see he was staring at Bobby with a stony expression. Knowing what I did about his past, I knew what a blow this was. Anyone John felt he could trust had turned against him, and just when he thought he found people who valued him, he was shown exactly where he stood.

Not saying a word, I laced my fingers with John's, squeezing his hand tightly. It wasn't a romantic gesture; I was proving to him that even though we meant nothing to these people, I still had his back. Because all we had was each other.

John squeezed my hand back and we stayed like that, silently watching people rush around us. We stayed like that as everyone realized Jean was no longer on the jet. As the Professor channelled her voice and Scott pleaded for her to get back onto the X-Jet. We stayed like that as the dam finally crumbled, and a wall of water raced toward, only to be held back by Jean's powers.

We stayed like that as the jet lifted into the air and the wall of water caved in below us, instantly killing Jean but barely missing us. As Logan and Scott broke down into tears over their lost love. As Storm flew us off towards the school, even though nothing would be the same again.

Because once again, everything had changed.

 **A/N: Ayyy I'm finally done this chapter! Just saying X2 was not supposed to take this many chapters to cover xD It was supposed to take like 3, not 7.**

 **So I know the end seems a little dramatic but try to put yourself in John and Vi's shoes; this isn't two teens not getting invited to the movies by their Squad and getting salty about it. These are 2 people who have been pushed away and treated like crap their entire lives, and when they finally thought they found people who genuinely cared about them, Bobby doesn't even acknowledge their existence even though they risked their lives saving Rogue and were clearly in worse shape than she was. John got shot for Pete's sake!**

 **In Bobby's defence, he had no reason to think J and V were dead like he did with Rogue, and there were clearly more urgent things happening at the moment. So yeah, just keep in mind that 1) John and Vi both have a past that makes it hard for them to trust others and 2) they're both pretty self-centred and don't exactly look at things from other people's perspectives.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and HOPEFULLY the next chapter should be up soon because I'm excited to start the next bit because exciting things are on their way!**


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